Chapter 15
Fifteen
Pythor
Rage.
It was the only thing I could feel as Codie finished his story, and I wanted to leap to my feet, hunt down every man who hurt him, and make them pay.
"Were they caught?" I asked once I could speak without letting on just how angry I was. The last thing I wanted to do after he'd opened up to me was to scare Codie.
His eyes were still on Hella, as if he couldn't bring himself to look at me. Was he afraid of my reaction?
"No. Which makes no sense because I told them one of them was at the gallery, and I was sure they had cameras there. I don't know..."
I nodded, knowing there was no way I'd let those bastards go free after what they did to my mate. I didn't care if I broke my contract with my summoner; I would make those humans pay.
But right now, Codie needed me more, so I pushed my anger and determination to the back of my mind, giving him my full attention.
"Thank you for sharing this with me, Codie. It mustn't have been easy." He nodded, still not glancing up, and I gave his hand another squeeze. "Can you look at me, please?"
He hesitated, then glanced up at me, his dark eyes searching mine.
"I'm so sorry those bastards hurt you."
Codie shrugged, then glanced away again. "I should've tried fighting them off. I gave up too easily."
"Don't even think like that," I growled, some of my anger slipping through, and he glanced up at me, brown eyes wide with shock.
"You do not blame yourself for what those monsters did to you, okay?
You'd have struggled to fight off five men by yourself even if you did know how to defend yourself.
Hell, I would struggle against five men if I was human.
What they did to you was nobody's fault but their own. "
Codie's lips were parted as he watched me speak, and he nodded slowly, his brows furrowed as if he was surprised by my words. Had he expected me to agree with him? Or had it been a test of some sort?
"Codie, I don't know how or when, but I'm going to make them pay for what they did," I vowed to him, knowing I would keep my promise, whatever it took.
His eyes widened, and he shifted closer to me. "You mean it?"
I nodded, and I could see the weight lift off his shoulders as some of the tenseness, the fear he'd carried for months, dissipated.
When he met my eyes again, there was something different in them, something new. Determination? Or was it hope?
"Pythor, would you... would you like to date me?"
I blinked, surprised by his question. "Is this because of my promise? Because I'll do that either way, Codie."
Surprisingly, he laughed. "No, it's not.
I was going to ask you last night, but then I decided I wanted you to know everything first, in case that changed your mind.
I... I have feelings for you, and I know I said I wasn't ready for a relationship, but I didn't think I was ready to leave this house either. "
"Are you sure?" I questioned, not wanting to take this step with him if he felt like he had to do it.
"I'm sure. But I can't—I can't have sex with you. I don't know if I'll ever want to. If that's a dealbreaker for you—"
"It's not," I assured him, and he smiled at me.
"Okay, then yes. What do you say?"
Smiling, I tugged his hand up and pressed a soft kiss against his knuckles. "I'd love to date you, Codie."
"Do you... do you have feelings for me? I know you said you're recipromantic, and I read up on it a little, and I'm not sure."
"That is the closest label I could find to describe how I feel," I admitted, "but yes, I do have feelings for you.
I don't know if it's because I subconsciously sensed your feelings for me or suspected them, or if it's a natural result of our bond growing stronger, but I don't care.
I wasn't interested in expressing my feelings unless you felt the same, though.
Now that I know you do, well." I shrugged, and Codie nodded thoughtfully.
"And you really wouldn't have minded if we'd stayed friends?"
"Exactly. If we try dating and it doesn't work out or you feel like you're not ready, I wouldn't mind going back to being friends either. I just want you in my life, Codie, in any way I can have you."
Codie didn't seem to know what to do with my declaration, and I assumed he needed some time to process everything, just like he had the day I told him we were mates.
"Would you like to watch a movie?" I asked when he hadn't said anything for a few moments, and he flinched, as if he'd gotten so lost in thought he'd forgotten I was there.
"Um, yeah. That sounds nice."
"Great. It's almost dinner time, so I'll get us some food in a bit too, if that's okay."
Codie nodded quickly, then grabbed the remote and clicked the flatscreen on. As he scrolled through the options, I watched him, in awe of his strength and resilience. He'd come so far despite those men's attempts to break him down and destroy him, and he'd done it all on his own.
Not any longer, though. He had me now, and I'd make sure he never had to face anything alone.
I was glad Fate had paired him with me—though I couldn't help wishing it'd happened sooner so Codie hadn't had to suffer at all—because with one text, I could get him protection from all the demons, who were nothing short of an army, despite our small numbers.
I could handle a few humans on my own, though, and I would make them pay, my orders be damned.
Codie
Pythor got dinner halfway through the movie—magic was awesome—and we ate as we watched, but when the movie ended, I didn't want him to leave. I also didn't know how to ask him to stay when I wasn't in the middle of a breakdown, but when he suggested another movie, I jumped on the idea.
Twenty minutes in, I found myself curled against Pythor's side, completely comfortable leaning my weight against him. I was still wearing my coat, but I could feel the heat of his skin through the thick material.
It was surprising how okay I felt after our earlier conversation.
Every time I thought about that night in any kind of detail, it led to a panic attack, but this time, I'd gotten through the whole retelling without triggering myself.
Was it because Pythor made me feel safe?
Or because I hadn't allowed myself to go into the details?
At some point, I drifted off to sleep... and then woke up in a nightmare.
A part of me knew it was a dream, that it wasn't real, but as something slammed against the front door again and again, the fear overtook me.
I glanced around, but Pythor and Hella were both gone. No, no, where were they? Pythor had promised they'd protect me!
A crash made me jump, and I stared at the doorway wide-eyed as I tightened my coat around myself, pressing into the corner of the couch as if it would hide me. I needed to get up, to run and hide, like Pythor had taught me, but I was frozen. Where was he? Why had he left me alone?
Footsteps approached, the click-click-click of them sending spikes of fear through me as they got closer and closer.
"No, please," I murmured in a hushed whisper as a face I'd hoped to never see again appeared through the doorway.
"There you are. I thought I'd killed you. But imagine my surprise when I found out you were still alive and well. We can't have that now, can we?"
I was shaking, my whole body trembling with fear as he came closer, his ice-cold eyes roaming over me as he licked his lips.
"Maybe some fun before I finish you off, hmm?
" he asked as he leaned closer, and I tried to scramble away as my limbs finally started to obey, but he grabbed the back of my coat and jerked me back, straddling me as he pinned my wrists against the armrest with barely any effort.
God, I'd been stupid to think some self-defense lessons would protect me.
That anyone could protect me from this monster.
"Look at you. So pitiful, so afraid," he murmured, delight thick in his voice as he leaned closer.
No, no, no, I couldn't do this again. I wouldn't survive this.
"Codie!"
I sat up with a start, bile crawling up my throat as my nightmare mixed with reality, and I scrambled, falling off the.
.. the couch? Shaking my head, my mind still trapped in that terrible dream, I ran to the hall bathroom, falling against the toilet bowl as I emptied my stomach, shuddering as fear and pain mixed in my head, making it hard to breathe.
"Can I come in?" Pythor asked from the doorway, but I couldn't bring myself to answer as I shook. Taking it as a yes, he stepped inside and kneeled at my side, a large, warm palm pressing against my back as he started rubbing it.
The soft, comforting touch brought tears to my eyes, and I leaned against the toilet, soaking it in as I tried to gain back control of my body.
When I tried to get up, Pythor helped me stand, flushing the toilet as I moved toward the sink and started washing my face.
I used the tap water to gargle a few times, then eyed the shower, wishing I could jump in and scrub his touch off my skin.
He hadn't touched me since that night, and yet I still felt like I'd never get rid of it.
Would I always feel his touch on my skin? Even when I had Pythor's warm touch instead?
I wanted to ask Pythor to shift, to envelop me in those big wings of his so I could forget the world outside existed for a few blissful minutes, but I didn't know how to say it, how to ask for it.
"What do you need, Codie?" Pythor murmured, still rubbing my back. I met his gaze in the mirror, and all I saw in those dark eyes was concern for me. How could he care so much about me? I was a wreck, a broken, damaged man who would never be whole again. What could he possibly like?
I sniffed, then wiped my face on a towel before turning to face him. "Will you... will you shift?"
Sneaking a glance at his face, I found he looked surprised by my request, but he didn't question me. Instead, I felt the warm flicker of his magic, and then there he was. All eight feet of him, so beautiful and deadly and safe.
I shuffled closer, my fists landing on his hips as I pressed my forehead against his chest. He seemed to understand exactly what I needed, because he wrapped his wings around me, cocooning me in them until all I could feel was him, until his scent of leather and smoke enveloped me completely.
Slowly, I felt myself relax, my fists loosening as I wrapped my arms around his waist, clinging tighter to him as he wrapped his own arms around my back.
"I wish I could protect you from your dreams too," Pythor murmured, and I clung tighter to him, knowing he truly would fight off the monsters in my dreams if he could.
"This helps," I promised him, and he pressed a kiss against my forehead, then nuzzled my curls as a soft sigh slipped my lips. I could stay here for hours, cozy, warm, and safe in his arms, protected by his wings and magic and him.