Chapter 16
SEBASTIAN
I check my appearance in a shop window outside PopTrax and bite back a laugh.
Sebastian Burns, you have no shame. I look ab-solute-ly fucking stupid.
But Jade needs my support to acclimatise, and this is the only thing I can think of to offer her my friendly familiar face in a subtle way.
Though when she sees me, I doubt she’s going to think I’m being anything but subtle.
Well, I have to blend in with the times, and my hair and outfit shouldn’t cause anyone but her to look twice.
I’m cursing this profession as my balance isn’t the greatest, and I almost come a cropper in the hallway but manage to clutch the office doorway just in time.
As expected, no one even glances up as I propel myself through it.
It’s midmorning, and everyone’s pecking away furiously at their typewriters to make the noon deadline.
The arrival of a roller skating courier is nothing special, even if the roller skating itself is laughable.
My eyes scan the desks as I sail past, searching for a pair of cornflower-blue ones the colour of a summer sky. Ah, there’s my girl, at the back in the corner, frowning as she peers at something on her typewriter. But what the devil has she done to her hair?
I’m so busy gawking at Jade’s poufy do that I’m not paying attention to where I’m going. One of my wheels catches the edge of a stack of papers, and I trip but manage to do a forward roll at the last minute, landing on my back with an ‘Ooof!’
I’m lying there on the floor, seeing Tweety Birds circling above my head, when someone offers a hand. ‘Hey, you OK, man?’
The guy uses his foot as an anchor against one of my skates and hauls me to my feet. I teeter there, catching my breath. Now that the drama is over, the typewriters start clacking again.
Except for one at the back.
Jade is staring at me open-mouthed. Her cheeks are beetroot red as her eyes traverse my body slowly, lingering on my tight shiny red Lycra shorts (that leave nothing to the imagination), fitted white tank (that shows off my tanned biceps), and bleached-blond mullet.
I pop my gum. ‘Yeah, thanks, mate. You really should tidy up in here. Bit of a health hazard.’
The guy, who I assume is Ash Delaney, looks me up and down with a slight sneer, as if he doesn’t like what he sees.
Yeah, I’m your competition, fuckwit.
‘You’re new. What happened to Roger?’ he asks.
I pop my gum again. ‘On holiday in Ibiza. Gotta delivery for’— I make a show of pulling an invoice out of my neon-green bumbag and checking the name—‘Ash Delaney.’
‘That’s me. I’m expecting a batch of demo tapes.’
Shrugging off my cross-body messenger bag, I delve into it and hand him a package. ‘Hopefully, I didn’t crush them. But if you’re going to leave paper lying around, well...’ I shrug.
The tapes are actually fine. I just want him to vamoose so I can chat to Jade, who is still gawping at me like she’s seen an alien. She can talk. Her hair is wild; someone’s been dabbling in a DIY perm and is now suffering the consequences.
Ash walks off to his desk, ripping open the package, and I take the chance to roll towards Jade. I give a slight wave and plop my butt down on the edge of her desk, narrowly missing a holder full of sharp pencils.
I pop my gum. ‘Well, hello there.’
‘Get off my desk!’ she hisses with a quick glance at Ash. But he has his back turned.
‘What? Ashamed to know me?’ I kick my green roller skate and place a hand on the desk. Leaning towards her, I make my bicep flex in a comedic way.
Jade hunches down. ‘Kill me now,’ she groans, and I chuckle.
‘Worry not, Jadey lady. I’m here to give you moral support.’ My eyes flick to her poodle hair. ‘Though I see you’re already trying your hardest to fit in with the era.’
She clenches her fists. ‘If you say anything mean about my hair, I swear...’
‘It looks good,’ I say hastily. ‘You have the sort of face that suits straight or curly hair. Anyway, I can talk.’ I gesture to my blond mullet, which is not doing me any favours.
‘Humph, that’s true. Your other hair is much nicer.’
Jade bites her lip, and I arch an eyebrow. ‘Was that a backhanded compliment?’
‘No,’ she says, studiously avoiding my eyes while peering at the paper in her typewriter. ‘Just a fact. Now can you get off my desk? I have to write this article.’
‘I will if you agree to meet me after work and go to a movie.’
Her mouth hangs ajar. ‘You’re asking me to the movies?’
I shrug. ‘Sure, that’s what people do in the ’80s. Movies and popcorn. Old-fashioned fun.’
‘Shhh, someone might hear.’
I pop my gum and glance around, but no one is looking, and Ash has disappeared into the editor’s office.
‘I don’t particularly want to be seen in public looking like this.’ Jade sighs and tugs on her mop.
‘It’ll be dark in the theatre. But we’ll have to sit at the back because of your.
..’ I raise my hand some distance above my head to indicate her hair height, and Jade’s nostrils flare in annoyance.
I blow a bubble at her and pop it insolently with my finger.
I can’t help it. She brings out my annoying side, but oh, it’s so much fun riling her up.
‘Fine,’ she grumbles. ‘But I should let Rach know as she’ll be cooking something.’
‘Cool. Just ring her.’
‘How? I don’t have a mobile.’
‘You can ring her at work. From your landline.’ I point to the beige push-button phone sitting on the side of her desk.
Jade eyes it suspiciously. ‘Does it work?’
I kick my foot some more, enjoying the heavy weight on the end of it. These skates are giving my calves a great workout. ‘Yep, should do.’
She picks up the receiver and places it gingerly to her ear. ‘God, this is archaic.’
‘Her work number is...’ I rattle it off.
‘Hang on, say that again.’
I repeat it slowly while Jade punches in the numbers. ‘It’s ringing!’ she says excitedly, and I smile to myself. Of course it is. British Telecom isn’t shabby.
Jade perks up. ‘Hi, Rach. It’s Jade.’
She listens, then says, ‘Um, just letting you know I won’t be home for dinner. I’m going to a movie after work.’
There’s excited chatter from the other end of the line, and Jade looks at me. Her lips twitch.
‘Yes, with a guy.’
More excited chatter ensues.
‘No, he’s not a journo. He’s the courier.’
Jade’s cheeks pinken.
‘No, not really. Well, I guess he is. In a certain light.’
I tilt my head and flutter my eyelashes, and Jade huffs a laugh. I flex my buttocks on the desk, and she looks horrified.
‘Quit it!’ she hisses. ‘No, not you,’ she says into the receiver. ‘There’s an annoying fly.’ She pokes at my arse with the sharp end of a pencil.
‘Ow!’ I mouth.
Rach must be saying something long-winded because Jade rolls her eyes at me.
‘No, Mum, I won’t be out late. And yes, I’ll make sure he walks me to the front door.’
I suck in my cheeks, pretend to give the air a kiss, and make a smooching sound. She says hurriedly, ‘Gotta go, Rach. See you tomorrow morning.’ Jade hangs up, her cheeks flaming.
She points at me with her pencil. ‘You. Out.’
I blow her a kiss, and she makes a jab at me. Grinning, I say, ‘I’ll meet you out front after work.’ Then I teeter off on my skates before she can do any more damage to my butt with her pencil.