Chapter 26
SEBASTIAN
‘This is an emergency,’ I tell the Care Bear, who I’ve named George and propped up against the ghost chilli oil on my nightstand. ‘I can’t stay and watch Notting Hill with you. My girl needs me.’
I land on Jade’s bed with a soft bounce and a smirk. ‘Now what’s all this—’
Before I can finish my sentence, I’m whacked in the face with a pillow. It’s a good blow. I’m knocked sideways, legs sprawling. Then another lands with more force. Shit. Jade’s going ballistic on me. Beating me with her pillow.
My first thought is to hold the edges of my robe together so my dick isn’t visible. I’m not shy, of course, but I don’t particularly want my cock and balls on show while I’m receiving a pillow bashing. A devil has to keep some remnants of self-dignity after all.
I lie there and let Jade get it out of her system. It doesn’t hurt, but it is a bit confusing. From her tone, I thought she was upset and needed a cuddle, but it turns out she’s fucking pissed at me.
Finally, she chucks the pillow aside and stands there, panting, while I prop myself on one elbow and rake my hair back into place.
‘Finished?’ I drawl. ‘Or are you gearing up for round 2 of the Pillow Bashing Championships?’
Jade’s lips tighten. ‘Fuck you, Sebastian!’ she hisses.
I look at her more closely, and underneath the simmering anger is a lot of upset. And recent tears. I gulp. That’s not good.
‘Sit down, and let’s have a chat,’ I say, patting the duvet.
Jade runs her eyes over my robe, which is displaying quite a lot of muscular tanned thigh.
‘Maybe put some clothes on first,’ she suggests.
‘Sure.’ I nod. ‘I came quickly.’ Jade winces at my choice of words. ‘I mean, I wanted to get here asap as it sounded urgent, and I didn’t have time to change.’
I snap my fingers, and Jade jerks back, looking shocked. But I think my tight leopard-print leather pants, black mesh shirt, and fingerless gloves are rather fetching. I gingerly touch the top of my mile-high teased hair.
Jade’s mouth quirks. ‘That’s very you.’
Seeing she’s on the verge of laughing out loud, I snap my fingers again.
‘Oh my god,’ she chokes out, taking in my neon-pink leotard, shiny turquoise leggings, and pink-and-white leg warmers pulled up to my knees.
I’ve also got matching sweatbands on my wrists and forehead.
A red Walkman is clipped to my belt. I put the orange headphones on and extend my leg up and down in the air.
‘Jazzercise, anyone?’ I purr.
Jade gurgles, her gaze riveted to my crotch, which, admittedly, isn’t containing my package that well. Hmm, perhaps it’s best not to do any pelvic thrusts!
But at least she’s smiling. I snap my fingers again and appear in a pastel-blue blazer with the sleeves pushed up and a pale pink T-shirt tucked into white Levi’s with rolled cuffs.
My feet are bare. I look like I’ve been strolling along a beach on the set of Miami Vice.
Tousling my hair, I peer at Jade over my black Ray-Bans. ‘Better?’
Jade bites her lip, checking me out, and I can tell she thinks I’m hot. Her cheeks are turning a delightful shade of rose. ‘Yes, way better than the Jane Fonda look,’ she says after a pause. ‘That tight leotard was seriously disturbing.’
I place the shades on the nightstand and pat the side of the bed. ‘Bring that pretty little booty over here and tell Uncle Seb all about what’s bothering you.’
Jade huffs a laugh and perches on the end of the bed, well away from where my hands are aching to touch her. Instead, I rest my big toe gingerly against the small of her back, where she can’t feel it. ‘Uncle Seb? Still calling yourself that? Really?’ she says.
‘I suppose it is a bit creepy since we’ve fucked—’
Jade’s jaw clenches.
Whoops, I need to proceed with caution; otherwise, I’m going to get another pillow bashing. ‘I mean, made love,’ I say hastily, and her jaw relaxes.
Interesting, so we are on the same page about that.
I open my mouth to add it was definitely meant more than a quick fuck for me too.
But Jade is frowning again. What have I done now?
Honestly, human females are so difficult to read.
And this is uncharted territory for me. I’m the devil who doesn’t stick around to snuggle, let alone have emotional one-to-one conversations.
But here I am, on my second one of the day.
And why do I feel like I’m about to get it in the neck?
Is this what human men have to face on a daily basis?
‘Ah, whenever you’re ready,’ I say nervously, hoping there aren’t any sharp objects around for her to get stabby-stabby with. I don’t want devil blood to ruin my nice white jeans.
Jade’s hands curl into cute little fists.
‘Why the fuck didn’t you tell me Rach was my mum?’ she whispers tearfully.
Oh, that. I shift awkwardly on the bed, knowing I have to choose the right words here. ‘I thought it would be a nice surprise for you.’
Jade looks at me with a glower.
‘To, uh, help you to feel closer to your mum in the future. And ... and to repair your relationship with her...’ I trail off uncertainly as Jade takes a sharp breath.
‘There’s nothing wrong with my relationship with my mum in the future!’ she hisses. ‘It’s my dad who’s the problem. In the future, he’s a raging alcoholic and a drug addict.’
‘Yes, but not in the ’80s,’ I say unhelpfully. ‘He’s still quite tame now. The cocaine addiction hasn’t fully kicked in yet.’
‘It doesn’t matter what he does or doesn’t do now,’ says Jade impatiently. ‘He drags my mum down with him. I’ve never understood how they got together in the first place. Rach isn’t a groupie—’
She breaks off and groans. ‘Oh my god. The concert we’re all going to tomorrow night—that’s where they’re going to meet, isn’t it? I’m the one who’s going to bring them together!’
I nod. ‘But at least you’ll get to see your dad perform with Echo Ministry. That will be cool!’
She shakes her head. ‘No, it won’t be! He’s going to take advantage of her because she’s vulnerable.
’ She jumps up and paces backwards and forwards.
‘Now I know why he never wanted to talk about how they met. It wasn’t romantic.
That piece of shit got her pregnant with me, probably after she cried on his shoulder about her mum.
And he made her change her name to Racquel. ’
‘Let’s not jump to conclusions,’ I say nervously. ‘That’s not exactly what happened.’
Jade stops pacing. ‘What did happen?’
‘I can’t tell you. Otherwise, it might change the future.’
She sighs in exasperation and plonks back down on the bed again. I rub my big toe against her hip in what I hope is a soothing manner.
‘I know it’s frustrating, but I can tell you that your mum wanted to be with your dad even before she found out she was pregnant with you.
Rach had free will in the matter. And she was the one who decided to change her name because she was a big fan of Raquel Welch.
She thought it made her sound more glamorous since she was married to the famous Tommy Rains. ’
‘But she’s perfect right now as Rachel Nichols,’ moans Jade. ‘She’s an innocent flower about to be ruined by a selfish pop star. She deserves better. I can’t let it happen.’
‘Jade,’ I say, my voice taking on a warning tone, ‘you have to let it happen.’
She looks at me, eyes brimming with tears. ‘Why? Why do I have to let it happen? It’s not fair.’
OK, here’s the catch, and she’s not going to like it.
‘You have to let it happen because if you stop them from getting together, you won’t exist,’ I inform her.
‘Why not?’
‘Uh, well.’ I demonstrate basic human anatomy with the forefinger of my right hand inserting backwards and forwards into the hole of my left fist.
Jade glares at me. ‘I know how sex works!’
I shrug. ‘Well, if Tommy Rains doesn’t insert his penis into Rach’s vagina, there will be no Jadey lady.’
She scowls and massages her temples with both hands. ‘You can’t lie there and tell me there isn’t some loophole.’
‘There’s no loophole,’ I tell her quietly.
‘Oh, come on,’ she says. ‘You’re the master of loopholes.’
I sigh. She knows me too well. I am the master of loopholes. ‘OK, there is one other alternative.’
Jade smiles at me in delight, and it’s like the sun’s come out. She looks so beautiful when she smiles; it lights up her whole face and makes my washboard abs flutter.
‘I knew it,’ she says. ‘Quick, tell me what it is so I can keep Rach away from my arsehole pop star dad.’
‘If you can get her to fall in love with someone else, you’ll still exist in the future. But...’
‘But what?’
‘You’ll look and behave a bit differently.’
‘How?’
I shrug. ‘It’s impossible to predict. It depends on who she gets pregnant to.’
Jade groans. ‘But what if she doesn’t like anyone else? This is a nightmare. Not only is Mum’s future riding on this, but so is my entire existence!’ She glares at me with blue eyes, the colour of a Bermudan sea. ‘I blame you, Sebastian, for putting me in this shitty situation.’
‘Hindsight is a wonderful thing,’ I say meekly. ‘But I don’t think you should put the entire blame on—’
‘There are five tickets to the concert,’ Jade interrupts, putting her hands on her hips. ‘So I’ve decided. You’re coming with us. You can help me keep Rach distracted so she doesn’t get with Tommy Rains.’
‘But—’
‘It’s the least you can do since I’m damned...’ she says, looking at me accusingly.
I gulp guiltily. Wow, she’s really good at emotional blackmail. I’m truly on my knees here. Then she gives me a final kick in the goolies.
‘I guess it will be nice to have one friend in hell.’
There’s a word in that sentence that cuts deeper than a knife.
I was handling this emotional one-to-one conversation until she said that. Now I know there’s no hope for us whatsoever.
Friend. That’s all I’m ever going to be.