Chapter 33
JADE
It feels like I sit on the train forever. Watching the doors open and close. I don’t even know where I’m going, but I think it’s south. Then an older woman laden with M and the woman isn’t there.
I emerge into a bright, breezy afternoon in the full bloom of spring, the leaves on the trees rustling above my head.
This is so weird, I think as I start walking. How have I managed to go two stops north to Belsize Park when I was sure I was heading south?
And what the heck is that?
I bring up a laminated card that’s dangling against my chest and look at it. It’s a photo ID for a media conference, and staring back at me is a person who vaguely looks like me yet is a lot more attractive. But it’s the name that almost gives me a heart attack:
Jade Delaney.
I drop the ID as cold chills run over my body; fuck fuck, I’m back in the present! And I’m not the old me. I’m someone new.
I lean against the nearest tree, my legs shaking as my brain whirs. Delaney. Rach must’ve married Ash. Ash is now my father. That’s why my cheekbones look so defined! I sort of knew the timeline was heading that way when I left the flat, but it’s still shocking the heck out of me.
As does my reflection when I catch sight of myself in a shop window.
I’m taller, my hair is long and bouncy, and I’m wearing a smart grey designer skirt suit with a crisp white shirt and heels.
Wow, I look great! Sexy! Shrugging off the suit jacket, I peer at the label: Gucci. I cackle. Of course it is.
Noticing that I have a black leather handbag, I fumble through it, looking for more information.
Do I live in Belsize Park? The latest silver iPhone that I find in there opens when I hold it up to my face.
Eagerly, I scroll through the contacts app, but there are no clues to my address.
Only a bunch of people I don’t know. I guess Jade Delaney wouldn’t put her own address in her contacts.
There’s also no Sebastian Burns. It’s hard to see that, but I was expecting it.
It stings, but I can handle it. Especially when I see a contact number for MUM and an address in Acton.
Excitedly, I ring the number. She answers on the third ring.
‘Jade! How did it go, darling?’ Rach’s familiar voice chimes in my ear, and I have to put my fist against my mouth to stop myself from crying out. My throat closes up, and I can’t speak.
‘Jade? Are you there?’ She sounds uncertain.
‘I’m here, Mum,’ I choke out. ‘I’m here. Just got off the Tube.’
‘Ah, no wonder the line went weird. How was it? Did you have a good time? I’ve been thinking about you all morning.’
For a minute, I think she’s talking about my walk, the one I told her I was taking in the 1980s. But we’re decades on from that.
‘Yeees,’ I say slowly, thinking about the media pass around my neck. I must’ve been to a conference. ‘It was great. Interesting talks, and I met lots of people. Plus there was yummy food,’ I add, knowing that Rach will appreciate that.
‘Wonderful!’ she breathes. ‘You can tell me all about it when you come round tonight for dinner. I’m making your favourite.’
‘Will ... will Dad be there?’ I ask. Please please don’t let Ash have done a runner on her.
There’s a pause, then a huff of laughter. ‘Of course. Where else would he be when I’m making steak and ale pie? He’s looking forward to seeing you and hearing all your news.’
I blow out a long, slow breath of relief. Ash, you absolutely brilliant man! Now for the awkward part.
‘Mum, I know this is going to sound weird, but can you tell me my address?’
She laughs. ‘Did you have too much free fizz?’
‘Something like that,’ I say, wishing that was the case. The truth is too weird to even contemplate.
My heels tap smartly on the pavement as I follow the address Mum gave me in Google Maps. I’m breathing hard. Who the fuck am I? What do I do to afford Gucci and live in Belsize Park?
I couldn’t ask Mum too many questions about my life; otherwise, she’d think I was off my rocker. I’ll have to wait until I get home. Hopefully, Jade Delaney has a dossier about herself lying around, though I haven’t had too much luck with those so far.
Stopping short outside a cute powder-blue three-storey semi, I check the address and gulp at how posh it looks. Bloody hell. I live here? At least I don’t have to break in and risk getting arrested—I have a key.
Inserting it in the lock, I open the white door and step into a neat entranceway with black-and-white tiles.
Carpeted wooden stairs set against the right-hand wall lead up to another level.
I poke my head into the door on the left and discover a lounge with a big TV, a comfy-looking couch, candles, and a bookshelf.
The room exudes calm, and I can feel myself relaxing already.
It looks like the kind of place I’d dream up for myself.
But I feel like I’m trespassing in someone else’s home. A thought strikes me.
Bloody hell. Do I live here alone? Or with someone?
As if in answer, a tortoiseshell cat comes padding down the hall, a small bell tinkling at its neck. It winds around my ankles with a miaow.
Oh, I’m a cat lady. That’s OK. I like cats, and this one is cute. I pick it up, and it snuggles against me, purring. The name on its collar says ‘Tinkerbell’. Sounds like a name I’d give a cat.
I follow Tinkerbell as she runs to the kitchen.
Guessing she wants food, I find some fishy pouches in a pantry and tear one open and plonk the contents in her bowl.
There’s a well-stocked fridge with lots of fresh veg, and there’s a fruit bowl with rosy apples on the counter.
A recipe book peppered with Post-it bookmarks sits beside it.
Wow, I must be into home cooking now. No Deliveroo for Jade Delaney.
Leaving Tinkerbell to her meal, I walk out into the hallway and look up the stairs. They lead to the bedrooms, I guess.
The first door I go into when I reach the landing is a small bathroom, and I can’t resist having a proper gander at myself because it’s so fucking weird to look like me, but an improved version.
My face is heart-shaped rather than round.
I have long shiny chestnut hair and Ash’s ski-jump nose.
I push at it. Wiggle it. Use it to sniff.
Yep, it’s mine. My eyelashes are long and dark.
My body is still quite curvy, like Mum’s.
But I’ve gained around five inches in height, thanks to tall, dark, and handsome Ash.
He was gorgeous in the 1980s, so I’m not surprised I look so good. Rach must’ve fallen hard for him.
Anyway, there’s only so much time you can spend looking at yourself before you get bored. I’m still me inside after all.
I check out a hall closet next and get a bit of shock. Along with a couple of well-cut feminine coats, there’s a man’s overcoat. My heart thumps as I finger the woollen material. Jade Delaney, you saucy minx. Are you living with someone? Are you ... married?
Oh god, this is going to be fucking awkward if I’m married to someone I’ve never met. I cross my fingers. Please please let him be cute and intelligent and not a loser like the other Jade would’ve chosen.
The door of the bedroom is closed, and I have a strong feeling that he’s in there. My boyfriend. Possibly my husband. I lean against the wall, having heart palpitations.
Now or never.
I force myself to open the bedroom door. The room itself is lovely: a king-sized bed with plump white pillows and a pale-green duvet, delicate gold patterned wallpaper, an oak dresser. But the room is empty.
Water is running in the en-suite, and steam curls from underneath the door. Whoever’s in there likes scalding hot showers. Then it shuts off abruptly, and my nerves jangle.
‘Honey, I’m home!’ I call out tentatively. There’s no reply from the en-suite. But a tap turns on, then off, making me jump. I don’t know what to do. Should I sit on the bed? Hang out over by the window? He obviously knows me, so I need to act normal. The door handle of the en-suite starts turning.
Fuck.
I whip around, take off my suit jacket and fumble in the wardrobe for a hanger. Warm steam from the en-suite billows into the room, heating the air like a sauna.
‘Sure you had it hot enough? You’re making me sweat out here, babe,’ I joke, hoping this guy has a sense of humour. If he doesn’t, I’m doomed.
‘That was the goal,’ drawls a familiar voice. ‘The fewer clothes you’re wearing, the better.’
Slowly, I turn to see Sebastian standing there shirtless, a white towel around his waist, and his caramel-highlighted hair slicked back. He grins at me, and my knees buckle. ‘Wha...?’
‘Surprise,’ he says. ‘How do you like your new life?’
‘I have a cat named Tinkerbell,’ I say faintly.
He chuckles, and I collect myself.
‘What the fuck is going on, Sebastian? Do you live here?’ I take a step towards him. ‘Are we ... are we together?’
I take another step, feasting my eyes on his toned body. This is exactly the kind of man Jade Delaney wants to be with. The man she loves.
But Sebastian holds up a hand. ‘Not quite.’
I halt where I am.
‘This is your new life, Jade. You’re successful. You have a well-paid job in the media, a great relationship with your family. But I’m not in it.’
I shake my head rapidly, not wanting to hear that. No no no! I need you. I love you!
‘Or...’
I sigh in relief. This is Sebastian. Of course there’s a loophole. ‘Thank God. Just tell me what it is. I’ll do it.’
He looks sad. ‘I can be in your life if you choose to return to your shitty job and shitty flat. My boss is willing to cancel your previous contract because of how you said how you felt about me in the shower...’
Shit, did Lucifer actually hear that?
‘And he’s willing to turn a blind eye to us ... being together,’ he continues.
‘Then I don’t have to think about it,’ I say quickly. ‘I choose my shitty life as long as you’re in it.’
Sebastian stares at me, looking a bit shocked. ‘Think about what you’re saying, Jade. You’d be giving up this fantastic life for me. A devil.’
‘It’s a no-brainer,’ I say. ‘I love you. Coming home to you from a day of telemarketing would be like heaven on earth.’
He smiles at me, perfect white teeth glowing. ‘Thank you. I have a similar feeling about you, especially as I’m being further demoted to doing admin work. Anyway, I should let you know there’s another catch. A worse one.’
Of course there is. Lucifer likes to meddle in people’s happiness.
‘What is it?’
He gestures to his ripped body. ‘This is how you wanted me to look. Tube guy. Your dream man. I won’t look like this in private with you when we’re together. I’ll be in my true form.’
I swallow. ‘Which is?’
‘Ah, something that might make you wee your knickers in fright. But remember, it’ll still be me. And I love you.’
‘If you love me, I can handle anything,’ I whisper.
‘Are you ready to see the real Sebastian Burns, Jadey lady?’
I nod, palms sweating.
‘Then shut your eyes, darling. There’s going to be a bit of heat involved.’
Dutifully, I close my eyes, wondering what the heck I’m letting myself in for. But I love him. I don’t care what he looks like.
There’s a flash of intense heat, and a sulphur smell permeates the air, and Sebastian’s presence grows ... larger. Oh, dear Lucifer, what is he turning into?
‘Open your eyes, sweetheart,’ says Sebastian, sounding extremely nervous and his voice more gravelly than usual.
Honestly, I really think he should have prepared me a little more. And I’m sure we’ll look back on this moment in years to come and laugh ourselves silly. But when I open my eyes and see what’s standing before me, my brain short-circuits.
It’s horrifying. It’s shocking.
But that cheeky grin is unmistakeable.
‘FUCK YOU, SEBASTIAN!’ I scream at the top of my lungs.