19. Brooke
19
***Brooke***
“ W hen did you and Kelly divorce?” I shoveled another bite of the spaghetti Noah made into my mouth. “God, this is so good.”
“Two years ago.” He pushed his own plate away and sat back. “She left me for her current wife. Can’t say that was easy. It felt like a fucking failure. I’ve always wanted to have a family like mine growing up. I didn’t handle it well at first.”
That made my appetite die. “Of course, not. Your wife cheated on you. No one would handle that well.”
“That’s the thing. I never loved Kelly. My ego was a bit wounded, of course, but mostly I was just devastated that I couldn’t give Sin the same childhood I had. I never wanted her to go through a divorce.”
“You never loved Kelly? That’s not true. What about high school? You two were always on and off, sure, but you loved her.”
He laughed while slowly shaking his head. “No. It probably makes me an asshole but I didn’t love her, even then. It was just easier with her. Everyone expected us to date so I just went with it.”
My mouth was hanging open. “That’s insane, Noah. Why were you with her? Were you happy, at least?”
He looked away. “I didn’t think I could have happy back then.”
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing. Let’s get off my failed marriage and back onto your failed almost marriage.” He laughed. “Sorry.”
I was still in shock over his declaration. “My failed almost marriage?”
“Yeah. Aren’t we supposed to be finding you good guys?”
Shrugging, I tried to come back down to earth. “I don’t know what the hell is going on.”
“Maybe we should try online dating. I haven’t dated since my divorce. And I don’t plan on starting again until Sin is older, but some of the guys at work are always telling me that I need to go online now.”
I made a face. “I don’t think so.”
“Come on. I’ve never known you to be a chicken.”
Scowling at him, I wiped my mouth and sat up straighter. “I’m not a chicken.”
“Then let’s create a dating profile for you.” He stood up and grabbed his laptop. “Come on. Grab a couple of beers and meet me on the couch.”
I made my way across the house and frowned as I sank into the couch next to him. “I think we got carried away the other night. I just ran away from my wedding. I don’t need to date anyone.”
“Too bad. I’ve already started your account.” Smirking at me, he turned his laptop so I could see that he had indeed started an account under my name. “Alright. Let’s answer some questions about you. First question. What’s your ideal first date?”
I tried to stand up but he caught my hand. “Noah, this is horrible.”
He tugged me back down and wrapped his arm around my shoulders so I was trapped against him. “You don’t have to meet anyone you match with. Let’s just do it and see who pops up.”
I complained but I answered the questions he asked. Until he got to the sexual questions. “Seriously? They want to know my favorite position? Why?”
Noah shifted in his seat. “Fuck if I know. You’ve gotta answer, though.”
I cut my eyes at him. “Seriously?”
He grinned. “Come on, B.”
“Fine. The Pilgrim's Last Stand.”
He stilled. “The Pilgrim’s Last Stand?”
I nodded. “Yep. Put it down.”
“What the fuck is that, Brooke?”
“Oh, you don’t know?” I looked at my nails and tried to hide my smile. “If you don’t know…”
“You idiot.” Noah snorted. “What’s your real favorite sex position?”
An unwelcome image popped into my head from the night I’d slept with him. He’d taken me from behind and it’d blown my mind that night. “Fine. Doggy.”
His eyes flared and a touch of pink colored his cheeks. “Alright.”
I grunted. “You asked.”
“Yep, I did. I really did.” He rubbed his face and then shook his head. “Next. Describe your body.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “No. Screw that.”
He frowned. “What? Why? This one seems like the easiest one to answer.”
“Maybe for you.” I stood up. “I think I’m finished with this. I didn’t even open my beer. I’m going to put it back in the fridge and then head upstairs.”
“Wait a minute, Brooke.” Noah shut his laptop and followed me. “What’s going on? I could write that out for you in ten seconds. Why are you being weird about it?”
I slammed the fridge door shut. “Maybe ten years ago. You couldn’t describe my body now. It’s been a decade. Things have changed. I’ve changed. I look different now. I’m bigger. I… I fucking hate things like that. Honestly. Do they expect people to announce all their insecurities on there? Or just lie and catfish people? What a cruel thing to do.”
“Whoa, whoa, Brooke. What the hell?” He followed me around the kitchen and to the stairs. “Hey! Stop for a second.”
I spun around to face him. “What?”
“You’re beautiful.”
I pushed him away. “Stop it.”
“Holy fuck, woman. You really don’t know that? You’re stunning. You’ve got more curves now but they’ve had my mouth watering since the moment I spotted you. You’re even more of a knockout now than you were ten years ago and ten years ago you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen, Brooke.”
I clutched his shirt in my fists. “You don’t have to… You don’t have to do that. You don’t have to build me up. I’m fine. It’s just dating. People can be so cruel.”
He let out a frustrated growl before gripping my hips and tugging me into his chest. “I’m not building you up, B. I’m being honest. After dreaming of you for a decade, seeing you in person again did not let me down. Somehow, you’re even better than I remember. It’s infuriating. I was hoping you’d show back up with a mole or a bad dye job that made you less attractive to me, but nope. You’re even better than before and it’s fucking killing me.”
My breaths came too hard for me to just be standing but I couldn’t get a handle on myself. Gazing up at Noah, I felt a confusing mix of disbelief and hope. Finn had made me feel like a frumpy loser in the end. Noah wasn’t looking at me like that, though. He was looking at me like he meant every word he said. “You’re even better than before, too. I don’t think it’s fair either. I’d feel less like a fool if you three had become awful while I was away.”
“Jesus. I shouldn’t do this…”
I didn’t get a chance to ask before his mouth pressed into mine and I thought that he shouldn’t do it, either, but I wasn’t stopping him.