Chapter 18
PHOEBE
Penny refills my wine glass, a permanent frown tugging at her lips.
“It has to be a mistake,” she says as she takes a seat beside me on her sofa. “I honestly can’t even imagine Theo would do something like this. It doesn’t make sense.”
“Well, photos don’t lie, do they?”
I’ve taken refuge in her apartment. I couldn’t face Theo after this whole Perle Noire thing exploded online. My phone’s been buzzing like crazy since TMZ published their article. My eyes sting from constantly filling with tears. My heart hurts so deeply, I can barely breathe.
“Have you spoken to Theo at all?” Penny asks.
I show her my phone, a throng of messages and missed calls from all three. “Nope. I’m just so mad, Penny.”
“You have every reason to feel that way. But you guys were building something. At least give him a chance to explain.”
“With everything that’s been going on in my life lately, I don’t think I have the energy to deal with this right now.”
I take another sip of wine, then set the glass down on the coffee table, sinking back into the sofa. I don’t like the taste it leaves on my tongue. The label claims it’s an excellent Napa Valley Sauvignon Blanc. It must be the bitterness of my emotions messing with my taste buds.
“Great, I can’t even drown my sorrow in alcohol,” I mutter.
“You’re overwhelmed and you’re hurting. It’s normal,” Penny says. “What isn’t normal is if you let this become your habitual state.”
“Can’t I just sulk and sob for a little while?”
“Of course,” she replies and takes me in her arms.
I welcome the hug and the softness of her embrace. We sit like that for a while. I let a few more tears roll down my cheeks as I relive the moment when I opened that TMZ link and saw one of my boyfriends with Georgina at a lingerie store.
“She’s his ex,” I tell Penny. “Theo said he ended it, that he didn’t have any feelings left for her.”
“Lord knows it’s hard to feel anything other than disdain and contempt for that woman.”
“But what if he does feel something romantic for her? Maybe Georgina said something to him, did something to rekindle the flame, I don’t know.”
Penny shakes her head slowly. “Phoebe, I’ve been around you guys enough times to tell that all three are positively head over heels with you.
Especially Theo. He worships the ground you walk on.
And more than once, he’s chewed Georgina out over the nasty things she’s said to you.
At the risk of repeating myself, none of this makes any sense. ”
“How do you explain the photos, then? They were smiling, talking. She was holding up a lingerie set for him to see.”
“What if she was helping him pick something out for you?” my best friend turns the tables. “To me, that sounds more likely than the two of them getting back together.”
“Georgina is not our friend. Theo would not be asking her advice. Besides, I zoomed in on each of those photos. That lavender set was not my size. It was hers.”
“I’m trying to make you feel better,” Penny says softly.
“Maybe Theo didn’t mean what he said about us. Maybe Georgina really did win this round,” I mumble. “It begs the question as to whether August or Dominic knew about it. If so, then where does that leave us?”
“You’re not going to get any answers by not answering the phone.”
I give her a sour look. “I’m in sulking mode.
Not taking calls, remember?” I try to take another sip of wine, but the taste is still unpleasant, so I set the glass back on the table.
“Dammit. And this whole shitstorm comes on the heels of Crystal’s campaign to discredit me online.
It’s been a circus through and through.”
“Are you talking about the #CancelPhoebe nonsense? It didn’t even go viral!”
“I’ve seen the retweets and the replies. Plenty of puritans out there who love calling me a loose woman, a whore, and a few other words I didn’t even know existed but still made my ears and cheeks burn.”
“Crystal is trying to manipulate the public into turning against you. I’ll admit,” Penny concedes with a tilt of her head, “she has a considerable following, and she might be able to hurt you, but only up to a point. You’ve got three very intelligent and powerful men beside you.”
“Do I?” I snap. “Oh, who am I fooling here? Georgina’s perfect. A supermodel. Insanely successful. Every room she walks into lights up. Meanwhile, I’m a Baldwin who’s about to be stripped of her trust fund and company shares because I fell for three men. It’s like some kind of circle of hell.”
“You need to cool down a bit,” Penny says.
“Remember, I have all the legal power and expertise at my firm to help you with the inheritance issue. I’ve already put in a request to one of the main partners to let me spearhead the case.
I’m still a junior, so they won’t let me handle it on my own, but they will team me up with an experienced attorney. ”
I give Penny a hopeful look. “Are you serious?”
“I promised, didn’t I?”
“What did the partners say? Do we have a shot?”
“They’ve known the Baldwins for a long time. One of my senior litigators used to work for the firm that currently represents your mom and dad’s company. He said it’s a foul move on Helen’s part, and they can definitely fight it in court.”
“I can’t afford their fees, though. I got cut out of the marketing department,” I say with a heavy sigh. “They won’t let me anywhere near the building. Not that the salary was overwhelming to begin with, but at least it was something.”
“Don’t worry about the fees. They only charge if they win. And trust me, if Rogers takes this to court with me by his side, he’s going to win, and then he’s going to file a defamation suit on your behalf against Helen and Crystal for these smear campaigns.”
“And this is the same firm that works for Dominic and the guys, right?”
“Yes. They’re just some of our clients. We’ve got a large portfolio, Phoebe. This sort of corporate family turmoil is literally their bread and butter.”
I tuck a lock of hair behind my ear, trying to figure out where this sudden queasiness is coming from. It must be a combination of the stress that’s been gathering in my gut for the past couple of months. Starting with Matthew’s deplorable breakup message and ending with Perle Noire.
“Where do I go from here? What do I do?” I ask, though Penny knows it’s mostly rhetorical at this point.
“How about you breathe deeply and let me handle the legal issue with your inheritance, for starters?”
“Okay.”
“You’ve got all of the paperwork, right? Back at your place?”
I nod. “Electronic and hard copies. Dad’s lawyers sent everything to me as soon as I turned eighteen. It pissed Mom off, now that I think about it.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Maybe she didn’t want me finding out or becoming aware of my rights as a Baldwin that early on,” I say, sifting through my memories of several tense conversations on the matter.
“But I remember she was fuming. She said the lawyers should’ve gone through her.
Pretty sure that’s when she changed legal firms.”
“About seven years ago, Rogers worked the Baldwin cases before he switched to our firm, so, yeah, that tracks. Helen fired the lawyers after they informed you of your inheritance rights. Jesus.”
“The fact that my mother has been working so hard to leave me destitute ever since my father died… oh, Penny, I still can’t wrap my head around that.”
It comes with a layer of pain I wouldn’t wish upon anyone.
“I can’t even imagine what it must feel like, but the reality is that money can, and often does, corrupt. Even family.”
“Oh, don’t I know it.”
“What matters is that someday, Helen will regret everything she ever did to hurt you,” Penny replies. “Though I don’t think she’ll ever tell you that. A woman like her is simply too proud, too greedy, and too vain. But I promise you, this will come back to bite her in the ass someday.”
There are times when I wish for some sort of divine retribution to befall her and Crystal.
But those moments are short-lived, because at the end of the day, all I really want is peace.
All I ever wanted was to love and to be loved.
I started to understand a while back that I’d never get any of that from what was left of my family.
I’d almost moved on with Theo, Dominic, and August.
Almost.
A knock on the door startles both of us.
“Penny!” Dominic’s voice booms. “Open the door!”
“Holy smokes,” Penny gasps, her eyes as wide as saucers as she freezes beside me. “We should’ve figured they’d come here.”
“Open up!” Dominic insists. “I know you’re in there! I saw your car in the garage and I can smell the patchouli incense from here.”
Shit.
I’d laugh if the situation was less unpleasant.
Penny curses under her breath, then looks at me. “What do you want me to do?”
“It’s your place, I can’t tell you that,” I reply with a shrug.
“Okay, now you’re the one who isn’t helping. They came here looking for you. You can hide in the bedroom.”
“No, you know what, open the door.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’ve got this.”
We both get up and walk to the door. I hold my breath, realizing that Dominic most likely didn’t come alone. August and Theo are surely with him.
As soon as Penny opens the door, I notice right away that Theo looks terrible. It breaks my heart until I remember those Perle Noire photos, the anger and hurt of betrayal taking over again.
“Phoebe,” Theo says. “We’ve been trying to reach you for two days now.”
“I didn’t want to be reached,” I reply, crossing my arms.
“We need to talk.”
“Please, Phoebe, at least listen to what he has to say,” Dominic adds.
“The two of you are here to what, exactly? Support him?”
“To talk to you,” August says.
I shake my head. “I believe I have made it crystal clear that I don’t want to speak to any of you. Yet here you are, pounding on Penny’s door, insisting she let you in. It’s as if none of you respect me or my wishes.”
Penny gives me a shocked look. I don’t know if she’s horrified or impressed by the card I just pulled. Hell, I don’t know if I’m horrified or impressed, but the words came out easily.
“Phoebe,” Theo says. “It’s not that we don’t respect your wishes.”
“That’s precisely what it looks like,” I shoot back.
Dominic scoffs. “Damn, you’re stubborn.”
“You shouldn’t have come here. I need some time for myself. Some time and distance from the three of you,” I reply. “I’d really appreciate it if you could give me that.”
“Phoebe, we just want to talk,” August says.
“What happened at the Perle Noire is not what TMZ made it out to be,” Theo insists.
There’s an urgency in his voice, and my heart starts racing.
I want to believe him. I am desperate to believe him, but I need the truth, not a soul-healing illusion of the truth.
“It was staged. I can’t prove it yet, but I swear, Phoebe, I am not involved with Georgina in any way. ”
“And you’re free to tell me all of these things when I’m ready to hear them. Not now, not today,” I insist.
Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on them, but I’ve spent most of my life being an absolute people pleaser, always putting myself last. For the first time in a very long time, I’ve managed to put myself first, and caving in to any demand that isn’t centered on my needs and wants feels like an abandonment of self. I can’t do that anymore.
“Please,” I add, my voice trembling slightly. “All I want is time away from the three of you, from everything. There’s too much happening right now, online and in the real world. I thought you would understand.”
“How can we, if you shut us out completely?” Theo asks. “I get being mad at me, but Dominic and August had nothing to do with it. Hell, technically, I didn’t have anything to do with it either.”
“But it’s a symptom of something else, and until I figure a few things out about us, about me, I need you to leave me be.”
The silence that follows feels heavy. It tugs at my heart and clutches at my throat, as I wait for Dominic, August, and Theo to concede. To give me the space I feel I need.
“Fine, Phoebe. If time and space is what you want, we’ll give you that,” August says. “But we’re not giving up on you. Let me make that perfectly clear. We’re not done here.”
I nod slowly.
He puts a hand on Theo’s shoulder and pulls him away before he can object. Dominic gives me a faint smile, the disappointment coming off him in crippling waves. As Penny closes the door behind them, I feel like absolute shit.
“You were right,” I tell her as I find myself on the verge of tears again. “Learning to say no and sticking to your boundaries feels awful at first.”
“True. But you noticed they respected your wishes, right?” she asks. “That’s got to count for something.”
It should. It absolutely should. But with the world around us so against us, determined to leave me with nothing, to watch me crumble under the pressure, it’s hard to find clarity and purpose. It’s hard to see a way out.
“I’ll tell you one thing, though,” Penny adds. “This Georgina business stinks to high heaven. I’m going to get to the bottom of it.”
“How will you do that?”
She gives me a wink and a sly smirk. “Leave that to me, toots.”