30
KIERA
I start at the sound of Jake's voice. At first, I think I'm imagining it. It wouldn't be the first time. There hasn't been a day I haven't dreamed of him.
Whenever he visits, I can’t help myself, and I have to see him. My heart hurts every time.
Looking at him now, just a few yards away, at the edge of the clearing, it’s like looking at a ghost. He has lost a considerable amount of weight, and there are bags under his eyes.
Has he been eating? Sleeping?
No, Kiera, that’s not your problem..
"Kiera—" he says again, reaching for me.
"Stop right there," I say, my voice shaky. "Please don't come near me."
"I just want to talk to you."
"What are you doing here? How did you even find me here?"
"I just followed my heart." He looks earnest, but I have to remind myself that it's just another lie to reel me in. And then what? What does he even hope to get out of this?
"I'm leaving, then," I say, picking up my purse.
Unfortunately, I have to walk right past him.
Jake stops me, grabbing my elbow. "Please, don't go. I'll leave."
My gaze turns to him.
I fight to keep the tears at bay, but it's hard, and it takes every bit of my sheer will. "What are you even doing here? Are you scared that I'll keep you away from your baby? Is that why you're showing up at my house?"
His eyes widen. "What? No. The baby is part of it, of course, but I came to see you, Kiera." Jake takes a deep breath, and squeezes my elbow before he reluctantly steps away, as if it's taking all of him to do so. "I respect your decision, whatever it is that you mean to do. I just wish that this time, you would hear me out and not let another miscommunication ruin our lives."
I take a shuddering breath. "I don't think I need to explain myself to you."
He looks down at his feet. "I respect that."
Anger slides down me. That's it?
"Do you regret it? Regret how it ended? Regret choosing her over me?" My voice cracks. "You could have just told me to go away, and I would. You didn't have to cheat on me. Not when you know everything that happened to me."
He finally looks up at me. Frowning. "I never cheated on you. I never would."
"Don't you ever get tired of lying?"
"You never gave me a chance to explain," he says. "I mean, I get it. Things were presented to you in a manner—"
"What? What are you talking about?"
"I know what Chris told you."
"So, you know I know now. Good."
"Yes, I do know."
My heart shatters. My feet stagger, and I almost stumble.
Panic crosses his features as he reaches for me to steady me. I hate the way my heart betrays me as soon as he touches me. I'm home, and my body knows that.
I smell his familiar musk, and I stop gasping from breath. He's my safe haven. Even after everything that happened, that hasn't changed.
He leads me to the bench and sits me down before taking the seat next to mine. He pulls his phone out and shows me a picture.
I have to squint down at it. It's not his grandmother even though she does awfully resemble her.
"That's Soledad," he says. "Sorry, should have lead with that."
Static fills my ears. "Who?"
"Soledad. The client I went to meet in Spain. She's seventy-six even though she likes to tell people she's seventy years young," Jake says. "She's my sweetest client. And she always calls me out on my crap, just like you do, Kiera."
"But… how?" I splutter. "I heard her voice. She's young."
"No, you didn't," Jake says, shaking his head. "That was Chris's girlfriend or whatever. He tricked you by calling her and switching my name with hers on his phone."
It can't be that simple.
"No, you're lying."
"I'm not. You can talk to Soledad right now. And I swear, Kiera, I'm not having an affair with her. She has grandkids my age."
"But… She told us you weren’t there."
He shakes his head again. "I guess she was telling the truth at least there. Because I wasn’t there. Ever."
"But how did Chris—"
"My friends know about my traveling plans. My clients. Chris must have found out that you're working with me at the firm. I kept turning down my plans with them, lost all interest in other women. He put two and two together and figured out we were a couple. He thinks that I led you to his room the night you found out about his betrayal, and he wanted to get back at me."
I stare down at my palms. "And he succeeded."
"No, he didn't."
"I pushed you away from me. I was keeping our baby from you." Tears flow down my face freely. "God, I'm such an idiot."
Jake puts his finger under my chin so that I have no choice but to look at him. "None of that is true, baby. I haven't gone anywhere. I'm right here with you."
Tears continue to stream down my eyes, clouding my vision till I can barely see him. "But Jake, I didn't let you explain. I let the past come between us once again. I let Chris ruin everything."
"He didn't ruin anything," Jake says firmly. "And you're not the one at fault. I should have been more transparent about my trip. I guess I didn't want you to worry or feel burdened when you were pulling long nights on the museum project. And you were pregnant. That was stupid of me."
"I think we can both agree that I'm the idiot here."
"Maybe we both are," Jake says, taking my hand in his. He turns to face me. "Just two idiots in love."
He puts his forehead against mine.
"I agree with that." I take a deep breath.
"I love you. So much. And I never got to tell you that."
He puts his hands on either side of my face, bracketing my face. His eyes deep in mine. "It's the first time you're telling me. The first of our eternity."
"Jake, do you remember what this place meant for us?" I whisper.
"Of course, I remember," he says. The rays of the dying sun fall on us as it starts to dip between the mountains. It bathes the distant cliffs in a pale, otherworldly glow as the clouds crown the mountains.
"This place knows all our little secrets. It was our own little heaven."
"Isn't it strange that we found our way back to each other here?" I ask.
He sighs, and his warm breath fans my face. "I think it was always meant to happen this way."
His lips touch mine, brushing over them softly. I shudder at the contact. I didn't know how much I had missed his touch until this moment.
I pull back from him. "I’m so sorr—"
"It’s okay. I know damage like that takes time to heal."
"Can you be patient with me? I promise that I have learned from my mistakes. I will never run away from you again. I will face you and talk like the adult I’m supposed to be. God, I’m so embarrassed."
"Baby steps, Kiera. And don't worry, I'm always there with you."
***
We decide to take our time, and for the next two weeks we stay in our parents’ homes and meet three times a day. The times of his routine visits.
My parents met with his, and they had a long talk. Jake held my hand through the entire thing.
It was nerve-wracking, but our families had been friends for far too long to let this be a hurdle.
When we finally decided it was time to go back to the city, my parents were a little skeptical, but they were happy that I was back together with Jake.
He stopped going to the office and started working remotely to make sure that I was okay, and I started working for him as an independent contractor. All my ideas were heard even though I wasn't "officially" part of the team anymore. And everybody at the office welcomed me warmly.
It feels nice to just focus on making something of myself.
And now I’m never alone. Well, I wouldn’t be, not completely. My baby is always with me.
I pad up to the kitchen. Jake is hard at work at the counter.
"What's cooking?" I ask.
"Freshen up," he says, glancing up at me. "I've left a dress on the bed. We're going to have a nice dinner."
“We’re going out?”
He shakes his head. "Just out to the balcony. Now hurry along."
I groan. "My dresses aren't fitting me anymore."
"This one will, trust me."
I take a shower and come out to find a simple midnight dress lying on the bed. I've never seen it before.
I smile.
I've been moaning and crying about not fitting into dresses anymore, and he's making me dinner to make me feel good about myself. That's why I love him so much.
Jake is waiting for me on the balcony when I come out. He has spruced up the place and set up a cozy corner for two. There is candlelight and everything.
"You've outdone yourself."
He kisses my cheek and helps me into the chair. "You look stunning."
"I'm fat and bloated," I reply but almost groan at the sight of the food.
Creamy ravioli and cheesecake Basque.
"Everything looks delicious," I remark, grabbing my knife.
"Dig in."
He doesn't have to tell me twice. The food is so creamy that it almost melts in my mouth.
I moan, "Oh, my God, this is so good."
"Is it?" Jake has a strange look in his eyes. He adjusts his shirt.
Wait, why is he wearing a shirt? This feels too formal.
"Yes, it's so good!" I say before pausing. "Why aren't you eating."
"I am," he insists, but no morsel has moved on his plate.
He has this funny look on his face, and there's sweat on his forehead.
"Jake?"
"Shit. You're onto me, aren't you?"
"What are you talking about?"
He starts to slowly kneel to the ground. My knife and fork clatter down on the plate.
"Kiera Elizabeth Crofton, I love you more than I could ever dream of putting into words, so I’ll keep this short and sweet. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"
I stare at him, blinking.
He starts to look uncomfortable. "I mean, you don't have to. It’s just tha—"
"Yes," I say as I slide down my chair. "Yes. A thousand times, yes."
He starts to cry, and so do I.
He puts his forehead against mine as he slides the ring onto my finger.
"Yes, I'll be your wife. I'll marry you."
He leans in to kiss me, and I kiss him back, pouring all my love into it.
We both come to our feet. He takes me in his arm and carries me inside.