Chapter 14
Roxanne
For a second, I genuinely forget how to breathe.
One moment, I'm standing beside Asher's desk, asking if he's okay after whatever just happened with Tristan. Next, his hand closes around my waist.
A startled sound escapes me as I'm suddenly pulled forward.
“Asher.”
Before I can finish the sentence, I'm sitting sideways across his thigh.
Shock crashes through me so hard that my brain completely short-circuits. My hands instinctively land against his shoulders to steady myself. The position is wildly inappropriate.
Especially considering we're inside his office at work and in broad daylight at that.
My mind immediately launches into chaos as all the defenses I’ve been trying to build the past two weeks come crashing down.
The first thought that crosses my mind is to wonder what happened between him and Tristan. Asher Sterling isn’t the kind of man to be shaken, but right now, the way he’s unashamedly clinging to me tells me something is wrong.
Damn him for making me worry about him like this!
“Asher,” I repeat, staring at him. “What are you doing?”
His jaw tightens. “Stay still.”
My mouth falls open, blinking in awe at his words. His strict tone makes it seem like he’s giving some very important instructions.
“Excuse me?”
Something flickers across his face. I frown, darting my eyes all over him to figure out if it's amusement or irritation, but it's neither. Before I can figure out what it means, one of his arms wraps around my back, then the other.
He hugs me so tightly that it knocks the breath out of me. The realization hits so unexpectedly that I go completely motionless.
After the last two weeks, I’d assumed we’d continue to maintain our professional distance since he didn’t seem to mind.
Although a part of me was hurt when he didn’t try to talk to me or use his usual flirtatious banter to take us back to how we used to be, I also couldn’t try to initiate because I knew it wouldn’t be the wisest choice.
However, I assumed if he ever tried to cross the line again, it’d be just for sex again. Yet, here he is hugging me as though he’s clinging to a lifeline. Not trying to drag me into another dangerous situation where we both lose our common sense.
The action isn’t in any way sexual, but my body seems to have mistaken it because every nerve ending in it jumps to attention.
I missed his touch way more than I want to admit.
The office disappears around me, and even my own thoughts seem to go quiet.
All that rings through my head is that Asher Sterling doesn't hug people.
At least not the version of him I've known all these years.
That man uses control as armor. But right now his face is buried against my shoulder, and his arms locked around me with an intensity that makes my chest ache.
Worse, he isn't saying a single word.
The silence somehow affects me more than anything he could have said. I want to know what’s going on in his mind and just what Tristan did or said.
My heartbeat jumps slowly as I let my body relax against his. My hand settles on his shoulder, and the other around the back of his neck.
I don't know why I’m doing this. Maybe because he looks exhausted or because, for the first time since I've known him, he seems vulnerable.
Or I could just be losing my mind and doing this because I've wanted to hold him almost as much as I've wanted him to hold me.
Asher’s grip tightens slightly. The movement sends a strange warmth through my chest. I close my eyes. For a moment, neither of us moves.
His warmth spreads around me. I can hear the steady rhythm of his breathing. A terrifying realization crosses my mind that my heart is melting a little more every second.
This is dangerous.
It’s far more dangerous than blatant lust. I understand lust because it burns hot and fast.
This?
This feels frighteningly close to affection. The one I struggled to deal with in the past. And I don't know what to do with that.
Several long moments pass before Asher finally exhales. The sound caresses my neck, sending a jolt through me. Then, reluctantly, his arms loosen.
I immediately miss them, but I couldn’t turn into a clingy woman so suddenly.
He leans back slightly as our eyes meet for a second. Neither of us acknowledges what just happened. Just like me, I don't think he knows how.
His expression has returned to something more controlled now, though not completely, as the tension around his eyes remains. And the exhaustion, too.
“What did you need?” he asks quietly.
The question takes me several seconds to process.
I blink. “What?”
His gaze shifts toward the folder still clutched against my chest, arching a distinct brow.
“The reason you came in.”
Oh. Right.
I actually had a reason for being here.
Embarrassment immediately floods through me as I jump off his thighs. I clear my throat and practically throw the folder onto his desk.
“The Pierce and Vale & Crown contract revisions.” I point toward the documents. “You needed to review sections four and six before legal sends the final draft.”
His eyes flick briefly toward the paperwork, nodding almost absent-mindedly.
“Right.”
Neither of us looks particularly convincing in our act. The atmosphere inside the office has become unbearably soft in a strange way. I don't know what to do with soft.
Give me tension and arguments. I’ll take Asher acting like an emotionally constipated billionaire any time and day.
I know how to survive those. This version of him is far more dangerous.
I take a quick step backward, then another. “Well.”
“Well,” he echoes.
I point awkwardly toward the door. “I'm going to leave now.”
His mouth twitches ever so slightly. I try to convince myself that it isn’t amusing dancing in his eyes right now.
“That's usually how leaving works,” he quips.
Looks like he’s back to his normal self.
I narrow my eyes. A small smile tugged at my lips. Something in my chest immediately betrays me as it tightens with emotion.
Damn it.
I turn before he can notice. “Review the contract, Mr. Sterling.”
“Yes, Ms. Sinclair.”
Although he’s still calling me Ms. Sinclair, the tone he’s using now is more like the one I’ve missed so much.
I make it halfway to the door before his voice stops me.
“Roxanne.”
My heart immediately jumps. I glance back and swallow a gasp as he studies me for a second.
Then simply says, “Thank you.”
The sincerity in his voice catches me completely off guard, so that I don’t even have the time to wonder what he’s thanking me for.
I manage a nod before escaping the office. The second the door closes behind me, I press a hand against my forehead.
Good Lord. What is happening to us?
I return to my desk and immediately pretend to be interested in some documents. It doesn't work. In fact, nothing I do works. My brain keeps replaying the feel of his arms around me and his eyes.
Those gorgeous grey eyes of his that burn with a fiery glint whenever he holds me.
Hours later, I'm still distracted by even more pressing needs, and by the time I finally get home, my emotions feel tangled beyond repair.
The apartment is unusually quiet. Felix is spending the night at a friend's house, and Mrs. Hernandez is apparently attending some community event downstairs.
For once, I'm alone with my thoughts at home. Normally, I'd appreciate it, but tonight, the silence feels oppressive.
I drop my purse onto the kitchen counter and stare blankly at the small paper bag sitting beside it. The pharmacy logo seems to mock me.
For several days now, something has felt off, but I’ve always just shrugged it off as a side effect of dealing with a cold boss I’ve slept with.
At first, I blamed stress. God knows I have enough of that.
Then I blamed work, then lack of sleep. Then literally anything else I could think of because the alternative felt impossible.
It took me so many days to finally conclude that my exhaustion, dizziness, and nausea whenever I come across certain food in the staff cafeteria might mean something else.
My stomach twists as I slowly pick up the bag.
Twenty minutes later, I'm standing in my bathroom staring at my phone beside the test on the edge of the sink. I can't seem to look away from it. My heartbeat pounds so loudly that it fills the room.
No!
The timer on my phone finishes counting down. My hands tremble as I dart my gaze toward the test stick.
The world tumbles around me. For several seconds, I genuinely think I might pass out.
The two lines are undeniable.
I'm pregnant.
The bathroom suddenly feels too small as I grip the edge of the sink harder. My pale reflection stares back at me from the mirror.
Pregnant.
The word echoes inside my head once again as the realization of my situation slowly sets in.
Asher's baby.
A shaky breath leaves me. I don't know how long I stand there. It could be minutes or even hours. The test remains exactly where it is. Proof of something that changes not just my life, but Felix's.
A knot forms painfully in my throat. What am I supposed to do now?
I slide down slowly until I'm sitting on the cold bathroom floor. And for the first time in a very long time, I genuinely have no idea what happens next.