Chapter 22
CHAPTER 22
I rode the elevator down to the garage. When the door opened, there stood Porter. His hair was damp, and he wore a faded grey t-shirt that stretched across his fantastic chest.
We gazed at each other.
“Going somewhere?” His tone was relaxed.
“I’m going to fix this mess I got you into.” I stepped past him.
He grabbed my arm gently. “What do you mean?”
“Felicia dropped by.”
Those gorgeous grey eyes widened. “Where is she?”
“She left.”
He winced and rubbed the side of his jaw. “What did she say?”
Was it true? Did he really not allow himself happiness? Why would she say that?
I needed to ask some hard questions, but I wasn’t sure I’d like the answers. “Why are you so agreeable about this fake relationship?”
He shrugged. “It’s no big deal.”
“What about you?”
Wariness seeped into his posture. “What about me?”
“Why did you come to New York? ”
“What do you mean?”
“You came here to get back more than a few boxes, didn’t you?”
Something crossed his face, but he didn’t answer.
“Fine.” I took a step back. “If you want to screw up your life, that’s your business, but I’m not going to help you fuck up your happiness.” I stepped around him and walked past parked cars, the sound of my footsteps echoing off the cement walls. I reached my car and was about to open the door when a strong hand grabbed me and spun me around.
He was towering over me. “You’re not fucking up my happiness.” His voice was calm, but his intense expression penetrated.
“That’s not what Felicia told me.”
“I don’t know what she said, but I can make my own decisions.”
“She loves you.”
“She left me,” he practically yelled in my face.
We stood too close.
“This is such a colossal mess,” I yelled back, pushing against his hard chest.
He didn’t budge. “I know.”
My chest rose and fell with the weight of my emotion. “Our faces are plastered on the front of every newspaper. Announcing our fake engagement.”
“I know.”
“I’m freaking out. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that, when this entire thing blows up, I’m going to have to move out of the country and change my name, but I can’t be responsible for messing up your life, too.”
“My life was messed up long before you even met me.”
“It can be fixed. Felicia said she’s been calling you. She said you don’t call her back.”
“I can’t.” His voice was low, his gaze troubled.
“Why not?”
He struggled to find the right words. “I can’t deal with her right now. ”
It was my turn to be bewildered. “You don’t want her back?”
He pushed his hands into his hair. “I don’t know what I want.”
I spoke slowly, “Is that why you’ve been so unbelievably agreeable about all of this? Because you wanted to prevent yourself from taking her back?”
Conflicted emotion flashed across his face. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
I don’t know why that one word hurt so much, but it did. There it was. He loved her, but for whatever reason, he couldn’t deal with her right now. I suspected I knew how he felt, but hearing it made me feel alone.
I tried to put my feelings into words. “My entire life I’ve been on the wrong side of everything. Yates was always taking my parents’ side. I know that you’re not real, but for a moment I actually thought you were on my side.”
“I am on your side.”
“No. You’re using this situation to deal, or not deal, with the woman you love. You’ve always had your own agenda.”
“I’m trying to help you. If it helped me, too, why is that an issue?”
Because at the end of this, he still had someone who loved him and wanted him back. At the end of this, I would need a witness protection plan to protect me from this disaster. Porter had felt like my partner-in-crime, but that, like everything else in this situation, was a delusion.
“Just once, I want someone to have my back,” my voice cracked. “I need one person in my corner. And I unfairly imposed that role on you. So I apologize. I’ll fix this. I promise.” I turned to unlocked my car door, but before I could open the door, two strong arms planted on either side of me, holding the door shut.
“What makes you think I’m not in your corner?” His lips were against my ear. His hot breath made me shiver.
I dropped my head as a wild tremor zipped up my spine. “You don’t have to do this.”
“Do what? ”
“This,” my voice cracked.
“Are you talking about the fake engagement?” His lips traced along the side of my neck. “Or are you talking about this?”
“What do you think?” I evaded the question, as my head arched to expose more skin.
“I think we both want the same thing.”
He wasn’t talking about our engagement, that much was clear. Oh, my. I knew what he was implying. God help me, but I wanted what he was offering.
“We do?”
His body moved against me, pushing me, so the cold glass and metal of my car pressed against me. “I think we do.”
A moan escaped me when his big hand wrapped around my throat. He was gentle, but the message was clear—he was in charge. It turned me on so much it made my knees fucking weak.
“What about our rule?”
“I won’t tell anyone if you don’t.”
I whimpered as hot lust rushed through my body.
And then that smooth voice growled low in my ear, “Are you going to tell anyone?”
My entire body trembled. This. This was precisely what I wanted. “No.”
“Are you sure?” His teeth grazed the skin of my neck.
I squirmed, loving how his huge body had me pinned. “Yes.”
He moved his hand from my throat to my hair, tugging my head back. I gasped into his mouth as it covered mine. It should have been an awkward kiss, but his mouth somehow managed to slant perfectly over mine.
My lips parted and his tongue dominated. My neck arched back further as I submitted to his kiss. Oh geez, his mouth. It was perfect. He tasted minty and smooth. Hot with so much lust, I moaned.
The shrill sound of my phone jarred my living fantasy. He lifted his head from mine, both of us breathing hard.
“You should answer your phone. ”
“I don’t want to,” I whispered.
“If we break this rule,” his rough voice affirmed his desire, “everything will change.”
“It will?”
“It will. Is this something you want?”