CHAPTER 11
ROBBIE
I stood on the platform, waiting for the fast train to London Waterloo.
The weather has turned sultry, and I was second-guessing my clothing choice of tight jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt.
The weather forecast suggested rain later, even though there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.
Looking down the track, I watched as the train pulled to a stop, the automatic doors opening.
As usual, it was standing room only. Leaning against the glass door screen, pulling my phone from my pocket, I read Ashton’s reply to Ev’s message.
I still haven’t decided whether I should thank Ev for meddling or never trust the scheming git again-the jury’s still out, especially seeing as he ate all the Jammie Dodgers too.
When he confessed that he’d messaged Ashton and suggested we meet this weekend, I.
..threw a hissy fit. I don’t just mean I yelled for a bit; I mean the full works — yelling, waving my arms about, storming out and sulking for hours.
Not that I’d gone far, I was just outside sitting in my car.
Kicking myself for being...for being me.
I love my little hot-rod. It was already being called a modern classic by motor enthusiasts, praising its performance and looks.
The car itself was almost as old as I was, and in some areas, it was showing its age.
That was reflected in the repair bills. But it was worth it.
I had built up so many memories sitting behind the wheel; the tyres gripping the tarmac while I zoomed around, never once feeling like I’d lose control.
I couldn’t say the same of my life outside of my beloved first-gen Audi TT.
When I first found out about Dad, it was like falling through the looking-glass into another world. My view slanting. Then I put it aside and got on with my life. Becoming an echo of an event. Then, the second discovery was a jolt that rocked my reality.
Now I was regretting not contacting Ashton myself and resenting Evan for doing it for me. I know he was just trying to push me in the right direction, because I’d got stuck in my head. Again. But knowing it and accepting it were two different things.
The train lurched as it picked up speed, almost knocking me into the guy standing beside me.
Inching back, I stared out of the window at the passing countryside and willed myself to relax.
The scenery soon shifted from open fields to towns and finally to the London skyline as we approached Waterloo Station.
The rush of passengers exiting the platform pushed me along with them, and I drifted through the main station, looking for our meet-up spot.
The large, gothic-faced clock loomed above me like a judge as I shifted from foot to foot, worrying my lip, scanning the crowd until Ashton appeared — leather jacket, easy stride, eyes sharp with curiosity and just as stunning.
“So, you’re the son. Robbie, I’m Ashton. It’s nice to meet you. Your dad used to tell me about you.”
His voice was soft and smooth with a hint of an accent I couldn’t quite place.
Swallowing hard, I stepped a little closer, stunned by his words and by being so close to him. “Yeah. I thought...maybe we should meet. Talk.”
Ashton’s face morphed into a small smirk, arching a dark brow as he looked up to meet my gaze. He was a few inches shorter than me, making him the perfect height for a kiss. I was so taken with that thought that I almost missed his reply.
“About him? Or maybe we can talk more about you?”
Me? I supposed it was only natural he would want to know how we got to where we were. “Both, I guess. I’m still figuring out where one ends, and the other begins.”
“How about a coffee?” He angled his head toward the coffee booth at the side of the concourse.
The coffee shop was busy; the scent and the sound of the espresso machine whirled in the background.
While I sat fiddling with my teacup, nerves buzzed.
I had so many questions flitting away in my head that I didn’t know what to ask first. Words were on the tip of my tongue. ..when Ashton spoke first.
“He mentioned you, you know. Said you were writing. That you had a stubborn streak.” Ashton’s full lips twitched as he eyed my donut. I pushed it towards him, smirking as he bit into it. Watching his tongue lick the sugar off his lips sent tingles through me. It distracted me again from his words.
“He talked about me?”
Ashton gave a small shrug. “Sometimes. Not much detail. Just enough to make me curious.”
I sat staring at my fingers before reaching for my cup. My voice was little more than a whisper. “I didn’t think he saw me at all. Not really. I was always a little self-conscious around him. He was always so-self-assured, confident, larger than life. I didn’t always know how to act around him.”
Neither of us spoke for a moment, then Ashton leaned forward, voice softer.
“Finding out about him must’ve been...a shock.”
Oh, you could say that...I couldn’t hold back a nervous laugh. “Understatement. I went from grief to gay porn history in about five minutes. Then the dildo. Followed by the list. It felt like my whole idea of him cracked open.”
“And of yourself?” Ashton leaned forward, placing his hand over mine.
My cheeks burned. “Yeah. I mean, I was never really interested in girls, so I guess this wasn’t much of a self-revelation. My best friend is gay, but I’ve never even been to a gay bar. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Ashton’s grin widened. Playful but kind. “Then tonight’s the night. Consider it research. Or initiation. Or just...fun.”
My mouth dropped open, making me look like a gaping fish.
“You’re serious?” I was struggling to compute his words or my reaction to them.
My pulse had spiked, and the feeling in my belly was now fizzing.
Dread, excitement, attraction — it all hit me at once and left me reeling.
His eyes seemed to soften before he gave me a wink.
“Deadly. You can’t write about love if you’ve never stepped into the places where it breathes.
Come with me.”
“Come with me.” I was pretty sure that Ashton didn’t mean the double entendre, but my brain had jumped on it, seized it and wasn’t letting go.
My dick twitched in my jeans, and I stamped down on the urge to adjust myself. Tight jeans were proving to have been a real mistake. Still, I wasn’t sure if Ashton was being serious or just offering to be nice?
My doubt felt like lead weighing me down. “What if I screw it up?” I said, avoiding his gaze.
“Then you’ll fit right in. Everyone’s screwing up. That’s half the fun.” Ashton did that thing with his eyes where I found myself transfixed and unable to say no.
Oh, what the hell, Ev would give his left nut to be in my shoes right now, and who knows-it could be fun. It would also mean spending longer with the man I’d been obsessing over. Driving me forward and feeling something that was beyond grief, beyond guilt, something alive, messy, and mine.
“Okay, you’re on. But I’ll need to leave before midnight to catch the last train home.”
“Well then, Cinderfella, follow me.” Ashton extended a hand towards me as he stood. The moment our fingers met, I felt a spark deep in my chest and let him lead the way. Our fingers still laced together.