Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
MAGNOLIA
H e didn’t say it back.
He said he can’t love.
He can care .
I rolled over carefully, looking at Alex in the dim light of the morning. Asleep, he looked younger, less stressed. Not stern and uptight, but almost peaceful.
The missing scowl and furrows on his forehead helped. So did the kitten curled up by his neck.
Before I could stop myself, I lifted my hand and drifted my fingers over his cheek. Traced his jawline gently. Touched his hair. His skin was rougher than mine, the scruff on his chin scratchy. His hair was soft, though.
As soft as the heart I thought he was hiding.
He did care. But there was more. I saw it when he couldn’t let Hedgy go to an unknown future. I saw it when he spoke with my father, careful and gentle.
I felt it when he held me. Every single time.
And I felt it when I held him.
He was broken. Unsure. Scared.
But not unable to love.
He had to figure it out on his own, though, because the one thing I knew without a doubt about Alexander Bane was that he was stubborn.
If I pushed, he would back away. Declare his heart off-limits and refuse to even try.
If I showed him the same patience he showed to Hedgy, there was a good chance he would come to the same realization I had.
He loved me.
How I longed to hear those words from him, but it had to be on his own terms and in his own time.
I could be patient. Show him trust.
Which meant?—
The fluttering of his eyelashes on my hand distracted me. I was cupping his cheek, stroking the skin with my thumb. He was awake now, staring at me, the beautiful blue of his eyes warm and sleepy in the morning light. He turned his head, pressing a kiss to my palm.
“I want this,” he murmured.
“What?” I asked, confused.
“Waking up to you every day. Having you with me.” He covered my hand with his. “I like how I feel when I’m with you.”
I glanced toward his hips.
“Erect, you mean?”
He laughed, disturbing the kitten. Hedgy jumped up with a little hiss, his back arched as if prepared to fight. Then he mewled and ran to the end of the bed, jumped to the bench at the bottom, then to the floor and scurried in the direction of his food in the next room.
In seconds, I was pinned under Alex. He hovered over me, his eyes no longer sleepy, his body ready and his gaze intense. “That is a response, not a feeling, darling. And I always have that response to you.” He lowered his chest to mine, brushing over my taut nipples with the dusting of hair on his chest. “The response gives me feelings, I admit. Strong fucking waves of feelings.”
“Oh,” I whispered breathlessly. “You like those?”
“I want tsunamis of them. Daily. At least twice a day.”
“You, ah, might drown,” I whimpered as he settled between my legs, dragging his cock along my aching center.
“What a way to go.”
He trailed his lips up and down my neck. “Tell me I can have it. Tell me I can wake up to you every day. Fuck you every day.” He eased back, nudging my entrance. “As my wife.”
I shook my head, and he covered my mouth, kissing me hard. It was possessive, deep, and hot. I felt it to the very tips of my feet. He slid his tongue down my neck, sucking on my breasts so hard I swore he’d leave marks. “You’re mine, Maggie Mae. You know it. I know it. Admit it and marry me.”
“Alex,” I gasped as he sat up, pulling me up his thighs and thrusting shallowly. Entering me an inch then backing out. Giving me what I wanted but taking it back. Once. Twice. Three times.
“Please,” I begged.
“Give me what I want,” he demanded. “I’ll give you what you want.”
“That’s not fair.”
He slid in deeper, making me groan. “All of it is yours. All I am is yours, Magnolia. Say it. Say yes.”
I couldn’t take it. I wanted him so much. The truth was, I wanted to belong to him in every way.
“Yes!”
He slammed into me.
And my fate was sealed.
Every time Bane looked at me all day, he had a self-satisfied smile on his lips. I wanted to wipe it off, but for some reason, when he would look at me, I would smile back.
We had a quiet day on Saturday. He worked for a while and ran a couple of errands, while I curled on the sofa, reading. It was a relaxing day, and I enjoyed it.
Sunday morning after we ate, he pulled out a strange-looking contraption from a bag. I eyed it suspiciously.
“If you think I’m going to let you truss me up in that like you’re Mr. Grey, you can forget it, Bane.”
He frowned. “Who the hell is Mr. Grey? And when did he truss you up?”
“Not me. It was a movie.”
“A movie where there is trussing? Name, please.”
“Never mind.”
He stroked his chin. “I never thought about ‘trussing you up,’ but now you mentioned it…” He let his voice trail off suggestively, lifting his eyebrows in question.
“Not happening.”
He chuckled. “It’s for Hedgy.”
“What for?”
“So I can take him for walks. I thought he could come running with me eventually.”
“You do know he’s a cat, right? They don’t tend to do marathons. In fact, I doubt he’ll like walking either. Or the lead.”
“I read some cats do very well on a lead. I think Hedgy will love it. The walks will do him good.”
I finished my coffee, rising from my chair.
“Good luck with that, Bane.”
He snagged me around my waist as I went past him, pulling me close and kissing me. “I got you to agree to marry me, Myers. Teaching Hedgy to walk with a lead will be child’s play.”
I rolled my eyes and pushed away.
“You haven’t gotten me down the aisle yet,” I called over my shoulder.
A moment later, I was pressed against the wall, Bane crowding me with his body. “You promised.”
“I was being tortured. I agreed under duress.”
“You’re marrying me. That’s final.”
I wanted to tell him all he had to do was tell me he loved me and I would marry him today. I would stand beside him forever if he admitted his feelings. But I knew it was a useless cause.
“So romantic.”
He studied me with narrowed eyes. “Is that what you need, Maggie darling? Romance?”
I shrugged. “Wouldn’t hurt.”
“Done.” He backed away. “I’ll teach Hedgy to walk, and I am going to romance the hell out of you. You’ll be begging me to drag you down the aisle.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Watch.”
“Okay, Romeo. I’m going to shower and see my dad and meet Rylee for coffee.”
“Since when?”
I shook my head. “Since I told you on Friday. You’re supposed to have lunch with Sam.”
He furrowed his brow. “Right. Forgot.”
“Well, between the marriage demands, the walking lessons, and the trussing, not surprised. You have a lot on your mind.”
“You know, you used to be afraid of me.”
With a grin, I slid my hand down his torso, cupping his dick. It reacted immediately, growing stiff under my fingers. “That was before I knew how to control you.”
He groaned as I dropped to my knees, pulling down his sweats.
“Oh fuck,” he muttered as I took him in my mouth. “I’m going to enjoy being married to you.”
I hummed around him, and he fisted a handful of my hair. “Forever, Myers. It’s you and me forever.”
I had to admit, the thought of that thrilled me.
“What’s on your mind, Maggie Mae?” Dad asked.
I startled at the use of my pet name and his voice. Dad had been pleased to see me, without remembering me. He happily ate the sandwich I brought him and chatted to me about his wife and little daughter, then fell asleep sitting in the sun.
I looked his way to see how clear his eyes were. He was watching me, understanding coloring his voice. The way he always used to before the disease took hold of his mind.
“Just thinking, Dad.”
“About?”
“I met someone,” I said, unsure how clear his memory was.
“I see. Is it serious?”
“I love him.”
“Is he good to you?”
I sighed, taking his hands. They were gnarled and rough, and I dug in my bag, bringing out the hand cream I always carried. I rubbed the cream into his dry skin, talking as I did. “He’s very good to me, Dad. He wants to take care of me.”
He grunted. “As he should. You’re a catch. Why haven’t I met him?”
“You did once,” I said carefully, unsure if he could recall the encounter. “He brought his kitten to see you.”
Dad frowned. “I remember a cat. A man, no.”
I chuckled. “Well, Hedgy is pretty cute.”
“Wait. I do remember a man. Tall. He asked me for my blessing to marry you.”
I looked down, not wanting him to see my disappointment. He was confusing memories. That happened a lot. Small bits got mixed together. TV shows, movies, past events, all became one memory at times. Incorrect, but I never tried to explain that. It only upset him. And me. I worked on his hands for a moment, then spoke when I knew my voice was steady.
“Well, did you say yes?”
There was no response. I peeked up to see his eyes closed. He’d fallen asleep again. It happened more and more these days. Less time awake, more spent asleep or in another world.
Still, I kept rubbing the cream into his hands until they felt softer.
I sat with him for a while longer, and when he woke up, he politely asked where his wife was, and when I said she was out, he nodded.
“She likes to shop,” he informed me. “For herself and my daughter. Have you met her?”
“Yes,” I replied with a catch in my voice. “She is nice.”
“She’s amazing. We are so proud of her.”
I nodded, fighting back my sob. “I’m sure she knows.”
Rylee patted my hand, her eyes filled with sympathy. “It must be hard,” she murmured. “Your dad is in front of you, but not there.”
“Yes, it is.” I wiped at the tears that kept coming. “Sorry, I can’t stop.”
“It’s okay.”
“What about your parents?” I asked, wanting the subject off me.
She shook her head. “My dad and mom divorced when I was young. I lived with my mom for a while, but we never really got along well. My dad remarried and I stayed with them, but they moved to Denmark when I was eighteen. I’ve been on my own since then.”
“Do you get on well with them?”
“Dad and Cara? Yes. She always wanted to move home, and Dad was thrilled for the chance to travel. They asked me to come, but I was deep into tech school. My mom, I rarely see.” She grimaced. “We still don’t get on.”
“Any particular reason or usual parent stuff?” I asked, thinking of Bane.
“She was a model. I am anything but. I don’t measure up.”
“I see. Her loss, then.”
She barked out a humorless laugh. “Maybe if I lost a lot of weight, she’d approve. But I gave up on that a long time ago. She had me on a diet as far back as I could remember. It took me years and years to have a healthy relationship with food. I doubt I will ever have one with her. Even my therapist agrees. She is toxic.”
“I’m sorry.” I reached for her hand. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re beautiful. You have amazing eyes and a wonderful smile.”
“Thanks.” She took a sip of coffee. “And it’s fine. I’ve moved on. Now tell me something fun you did this weekend.”
I hesitated, then blurted it out. “Bane asked me to marry him.”
She choked on her coffee, sputtering into her cup. “Say what now? He did what?”
I nodded. “He asked me to marry him. Well, sort of demanded, then asked. Then demanded again.”
“Well, that sounds like him, but I had no idea…” She let her voice trail off. “You and he have been…?” She lifted her eyebrows in question.
I nodded.
She leaned closer, her eyes dancing. “Oh my God, tell me everything. Since when? The dinner, right? It started after the dinner. I knew he liked you. He was so intense when he asked me what happened. I knew if he could get away with it, he would have pitched those women off the roof to shut them up. He was so angry and protective. I had a feeling about you two even then. He’s incredible in bed, am I right? Demanding and controlling? Of course he is,” she muttered, answering her own question. “Is it amazing? Is he grumpy at home too or all soft and squishy like a marshmallow? Do the partners know? I mean, there are no rules against it, but what do they think? I mean, it’s Bane.” She grabbed my arm, almost squealing. “Did you say yes? Oh, please tell me you said yes.”
I gaped at her rapid-fire questions.
“Um, yes, after the dinner. And he is wonderful. The partners know, and he is pretty intense all the time. But he is so good to me. We, ah, got a cat together and everything.”
“Oh my God,” she repeated. “A pet. Bane with a cat? I need to see this.” She was practically humming, leaning so far over the table, her ample breasts were resting on the top. “And in bed? How is he in bed?”
“Yes, do tell us how I am in bed.” Bane’s voice broke in. “I’d love to hear it.”