Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
CASEY
I woke up, my head on Jesse’s lap. He gazed down at me, a gentle expression on his face again.
“Hey, sleepyhead.”
I sat up, yawning. “How long have I been out?”
“Only about thirty minutes.”
I tilted my head. “You have something on your lip.”
He wiped at it, licking his finger. I looked over at the basket. “Were you into the cupcakes?”
“You were asleep. I had to keep myself entertained.”
“By eating the cupcakes?”
“I only had one,” he protested. “And a couple of cookies.”
I rolled my eyes.
“They were good,” he informed me. “But not as good as yours.”
“You know how to BS your way out of trouble, don’t you?”
“Speaking the truth.”
He reached into the basket and brought out the box. “Want a cupcake?”
“Sure.”
He handed me the vanilla one I had picked out, and I took it from him. I peeled away the paper and broke it in half, then flipped the icing top over onto the bottom and pressed it together like a sandwich, taking a bite.
“What did you just do?” he asked.
I held it up. “Made a cupcake sandwich. Then you get icing in every bite.”
“Dammit, woman. That is brilliant. I have to try it.”
He grabbed another cupcake and copied my movements, taking a huge bite. “Amazing,” he said, cupcake crumbs escaping his mouth. He ignored them and kept eating.
I ate mine, enjoying the rich buttercream and the light vanilla cake. I licked my fingers and stood to go to the brook. “Sticky,” I said, waving my fingers.
“Careful,” Jesse called. “It’s slippery on the rocks,” he chuckled. “And I’m not coming in after you.”
I bent and rinsed my hands, standing upright. “Whatever, Jesse. If I fell in, you’d come after me.”
“Nah,” he laughed. “It’s shallow. Not even you could drown in it.”
Ignoring him, I stood in the water, watching the ripples and current move downstream.
The water was so clear I could see the bottom and the pretty rocks and the way the water skimmed over them.
I wandered a little, my feet adjusting to the cold temperature.
It was deeper in the middle, and I imagined, on a summer day, very refreshing.
“Some rocks for the garden would be nice,” I mused. “I wonder if we could get one of the bigger ones into the trunk?”
“Don’t even think about it,” Jesse hissed into my ear, startling me.
I spun around, my foot catching on something in the water, and I stumbled, waving my arms in panic to remain upright.
I grabbed at Jesse, who wasn’t prepared, and he slipped and fell, landing in the water with a loud splash.
He bolted upright, the water streaming off him.
“Oh God, I’m sorry,” I gasped, trying not to laugh. He looked like a drowned rat with his hair plastered to his head and his clothes sticking to him.
A sexy rat.
He glared at me, coming forward, his intent written all over his face. I stepped back.
“No.”
But it was too late. He caught me, falling back into the deeper part of the water and taking me with him. The cold hit my skin like an explosion, setting my nerves into overdrive and sending a chill deep into my core.
I sprang from the water. “You bastard!”
He only grinned as he stood, then kicked water my way, sending more cold down my back.
I splashed him back. “Stop it.”
He did it again. “You stop it.”
I sprang forward, intent on hitting him and driving him back into the water, but he neatly sidestepped me, and I went in face first, coming up soaked and yelling. Jesse was bent over, laughing.
I tried to get up but fell back. “Jesse, my ankle. I can’t?—”
His amusement faded instantly, and he rushed over, dropping beside me, reaching for my foot.
I grabbed his head and dunked him, pushing off his arm and trying to get away.
He nabbed me, spinning me around and bringing me back into the cold water with him.
He loomed over me, dripping, soaked, and intense.
I stared up at him, suddenly not as cold.
His gaze dropped to my pebbled nipples, and he rubbed his chin on one then took it in his mouth.
The contrast between the icy-cold water and the shocking heat of his mouth made me groan.
He sat up, sitting on one of the flat rocks, and pulled me into his arms.
“You got us wet, Pixie.” He sucked the other breast through the thin material of my shirt.
“I know,” I groaned.
“Cold.” He cupped my ass, dragging me over his hardening cock.
“Uh-huh,” I agreed with a whimper.
“I’m going to warm us up.”
“Please,” I whispered as he slid his hand between my legs.
“You want that, Pix? You want me to fuck you out here in the open?” He stroked me lazily, the feeling intense with the cold.
“Warm me up, Jesse.”
“Oh, you’re getting hot already,” he murmured. “So fucking hot on my fingers.”
“Please,” I begged again.
“I can never say no to you,” he whispered, then covered my mouth with his.
Thank God.
JESSE
We lay in the back seat of the Mustang, wrapped in the blanket, our clothes drying on the branches of the tree.
After our frenzied, cold coupling in the brook, Casey had shivered, and I’d pulled her from the water and removed her wet clothing.
I always carried a bag with me out of habit, and I hung my wet stuff next to hers and slipped on a pair of sweats, giving her my T-shirt then bundling us into the back seat to warm up.
With the sun beating down, the car was warm and the clothing would dry soon enough.
Casey nestled against me, and for a short while, we were quiet. I felt an odd sensation of contentment. With her beside me, the afterglow of another orgasm still lingering, and knowing she’d be at my side later, I experienced a sense of completion.
I liked cuddling with Casey, which seemed strange because I never cuddled before.
Casey looked up. “I like cuddling with you too.”
I shook my head in amusement. “Now I’m talking out loud the way you do. Great. I’ll be breaking in to houses soon enough.”
Casey giggled, the sound light and airy. “I don’t think you’ll fit through most windows. I’d stick to your day job.”
“Hmm,” I responded.
“Do you always do the three-on, four-off?”
“I’ve only been doing them a short while, but I like them.
I know my hours, my days off. I can make plans.
On occasion, I get called in or things change.
We have different crews. I like the three p.m. start and end.
I still get parts of those days even when I’m working.
We have some crew that only works days, and some only work nights.
I see different people, work with different people, but the core of my crew is the same.
Mark likes the shift work—always something new.
When you first start, that’s what you get.
The longer you’re there, the more seniority, you get to choose. ”
“How long have you been in Covington?”
“Five years since I transferred in.”
“You were in Toronto?”
I shifted, the conversation becoming personal. “Yeah. I started there. I was lucky to get on when I was still young.”
She looked up at me, resting her head on my arm. “And you came here for a different life after the accident.”
I nodded, feeling the tightness in my neck. Casey frowned and cupped my cheek.
“Sorry, Jesse, we don’t have to talk about it.”
I shut my eyes at the sweetness of her voice. The way she was willing to move on. But she had told me her story, and she deserved to know mine.
“I have a younger brother,” I began. “He lives in Toronto with his wife.” I paused. “My ex-fiancée.”
“Oh, Jesse.”
“Miriam and I dated in high school. She knew I wanted to be a firefighter. She always supported me. She hung around with my family. My parents loved her.”
“And so did you,” she murmured.
“My brother was two years younger than me, and my parents—especially my mother—doted on him. Ryan could do no wrong. He got away with everything. And he disliked me. Intensely. He was always jealous, and whatever I did, he had to do better. He had to have everything I had. Be the winner in everything. It was draining.”
I sucked in a deep breath, looking out at the brook and trees, willing myself to relax.
“Preparing to be a firefighter is grueling. Constant physical demands and mental ones too. Learning. Training. Practicing. Drills. Extra courses—anything to get noticed in the crowd of other people trying to become a firefighter. Years of work. I was deep into it when Ryan announced he was going to be a firefighter too.”
“Ugh.”
“I didn’t really care. I knew we’d never work together. They don’t put family members together, in case,” I explained.
“Right.”
“But it was personal to him. He had to be better. Be fitter. Stronger. Better marks. It was a contest, not his life dream.”
“How did he do?”
I shook my head. “Not so well. Physically, I was always bigger. Stronger. I’d been working out since I was fourteen, knowing what I wanted to do. He was smaller, and, yes, strong, but not like me. He didn’t like that. Not being number one.”
“What happened?”
“I came home and found him and Miriam together. He was fucking her in my bed. I walked in, and he looked over his shoulder, smiling the whole time—almost gloating. He knew how I’d react.”
“Jesse, how awful.”
“We fought, and Miriam told me she loved him, not me anymore. I was never around. She chastised me, telling me that Ryan managed both personal and professional balance so much better. That she was lonely and he was there for her.”
Casey wrapped herself around me, holding on tight. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
I placed an arm around her, anchoring myself to her. To this moment—letting the pain go. It was in the past. I kept reminding myself of that.
“Ryan and I argued. I pushed him around. I walked out.” I sighed. “The next day was the one when I had the incident at work. I was distracted and not thinking clearly.”
“Oh my God,” Casey said.
“While I was in the hospital, my parents came to see me. They told me they were supporting Ryan. That they loved Miriam, and if Ryan made her happy, they were happy. They wanted her as a daughter-in-law. That after much thought, they decided he was a better man for her.”
Casey sat back, outraged. “What the fuck?” she whisper-yelled.
“They always took his side.”
“But she cheated on you—with your douchebag brother !”
Her instant defense of me made my chest warm. I stroked her cheek. “I know—it made no sense.”
“What happened?”
“They told me to get over it and accept her as a member of the family. I said no. We severed all ties. I don’t see them or talk to them.”
“And he married her?”
I rolled my shoulders. “She was pregnant.”
Casey covered her mouth. “I can’t even…” she breathed. “Are you sure it was his?”
I nodded. “Things had been strained between us, and it had been a while. Miriam had changed—how I felt about her changed. And obviously, she felt the same way about me. I discovered their affair had been going on for months.” I scrubbed my face.
“The baby was born almost nine months to the day—and it looked like Ryan. Blond hair, blue eyes.” I paused.
“Big nose and skinny. Just like him.” I lifted one shoulder, knowing that sounded petty, but it was the truth.
“Aside from our last name, we shared nothing physically. I had always wondered if one of us was adopted or the result of an affair.”
Casey leaned forward and kissed me. “Either way, I got the better brother.”
I smiled against her mouth, her support meaning more than I was able to convey.
“After that, I swore I would never be in the position to let people hurt me.”
“We’re very similar. I run, you avoid.”
“That’s why we work—at least for now.”
She nodded, looking upset. “So you came here,” she prompted.
“Yes. I didn’t want to be where they were.
Listen to friends talk about Ryan and Miriam.
Their son. Know I was never enough for my parents.
That somehow, even though I was the eldest, I wasn’t number one with them—ever.
It was always Ryan. It always would be. And the fact that they wanted Miriam as a daughter-in-law more than me as a son told me everything I needed to know.
It gave me the strength to make the break. ”
“Do you miss them?” she asked quietly.
“No. In retrospect, he did me a favor. After we split and I had time to reflect, I realized Miriam was as high-maintenance as he was, so good luck to them both. My parents always found me lacking, and I no longer have to deal with that. Being a disappointment all the time is wearing. I found some good people here. Lou, especially.” I traced a finger across her lips.
“And I have a great tenant with benefits who makes me happy.”
She nodded. “For now.”
“For now.”
But even as I said the words, they felt wrong.
But they were the only ones I could say.