13. Felix
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
FELIX
“Incoming.” Theo laughs under his breath, watching Harper return from her morning jog.
I’m relaxing in the spa. He’s sitting on a sun lounger next to me, fully dressed. Theo drove up from the city with a bag of eclipse for me to sell while I’m in the Hamptons. We’re in the middle of discussing business, but there’s no chance of me concentrating now that Harper has come into view.
I watch her ass in those tiny fuck-me shorts that barely conceal anything. She’s wearing a pink sports bra that props up her perfect tits. Her hair is in a high ponytail. I want to yank it. Hold it like a leash. I want to degrade the fuck out of her.
“Man, you are so fucked,” Theo says. “Your future sister-in-law gets hotter every time I see her. You get more obsessed. I bet the only thing you’re doing during these two weeks away is beating your dick over her.”
He’s not wrong. I am seriously fucked.
And I haven’t stopped jerking off over her.
Every run in I have with Harper, I uncover more of the freak within her and become more obsessed.
One day has passed since the pool house party and I haven’t been able to think about anything other than my encounter with Harper that night.
She was so wet against my leg from watching a threesome.
She moaned when I applied pressure with my thigh.
Her hips rubbed against me, seeking out an orgasm.
My dick twitches, thinking about it now. Fuck . I need to have her.
There’s no way I can have her without screwing over Tyler.
I don’t know what I’m doing with Harper. My brother wants to marry this girl, and yet here I am, beating my dick over her multiple times a day, sneaking into her bedroom and stealing her panties. Stalking her.
I need to forget about Harper.
“Good run?” Theo calls out.
Her eyes whip in our direction, finding me in the spa and Theo with his legs up on a nearby table, hands behind his head.
She glares at the two of us, especially Theo.
Aside from Tyler, he’s been my closest friend since freshman year of high school and Harper has always hated him.
My best guess is because he’s a part of the crowd that “changed me” from the person she used to like.
Nowadays, Theo probably scares her because he’s covered in ink, more so than I am. He has jet black hair, a bunch of piercings, and is always dressed in something dark. There’s nothing welcoming about Theo’s appearance. Wouldn’t want anything less from a drug dealer.
Theo’s older cousin is the brains behind eclipse, a college graduate who is a genius in chemical science. Last year, Theo and I started selling the drug at school. With him now graduated, he distributes eclipse at college.
Ignoring the two of us, Harper heads inside the house. Since walking in on my party, she refuses to be anywhere near me. She isn’t dining with the family at mealtimes because I’m at the table. She’s barely saying a word to her parents. Her relationship with Tyler has completely broken down.
I don’t know what happened between Harper and my brother, other than I must have stirred up some shit for them by mentioning he enjoys my parties.
The last I heard from Tyler was a phone call Saturday night while he drove back to the city, shouting at me for outing his summer fun to Harper.
I have my work cut out for me to get back into my brother’s good graces, that’s for sure.
Speaking of the devil. An incoming call from Tyler lights up my phone.
I dry my hands on a nearby towel and place the phone to my ear. “Bro. Glad to hear from you. I’ll say it again, I fucked up. I’m sorry.”
“I’m still pissed off at you. But you also did me a massive favor. Harper is infuriating. I’m through with her.”
I’m no idiot. My brother may be angry with Harper but he’s not through with her. He’s just as addicted to Harper as I am. Except he’s got it worse than me because he’s also in love with the girl.
I don’t do love.
Love is a weakness.
All I want is to fuck Harper, own her body in every way, then move on to the next best thing when I’m bored.
“Game of poker when I get back to the city to make everything right between us?” I ask.
“Sure. Poker sounds good. Call me when you’re back in Manhattan. It’s not like I’m trying to stay in Harper’s good books anymore.”
He’ll cool off with time and be back by her side. I don’t speak the thought out loud, because truth be told, I want him on my side, not Harper’s. I want our speakeasy to become a solidified plan for the future. With Harper controlling him, that can’t happen.
As soon as I end the call, the back door opens and Clara marches across the pool area to where me and Theo are relaxing.
“This is the mom?” Theo smirks. I nod in response. From the slant in his lips, I know he’s thinking what everyone does—that she’d look good naked.
Clara is dressed in a white business suit and her heels click along the tiled ground. She places a handbag and car keys on the same table Theo has his feet on. “Put your feet on the ground now, young man.”
He sends her a charming smile. “As you wish, madam.”
She scowls at him, then turns to me. “Felix, I never said you could invite a friend over.”
I lean back in the spa, spreading my arms along the ledge, and smile at her too. “Didn’t realize I needed to ask your permission. But don’t worry. Theo is a business associate. Not a friend.”
Clara looks him over, unimpressed, probably assuming I’m referring to the “ecstasy” I was supposed to be expelled for. “Whoever you are, you need to leave right now. You’re not welcome on this property.”
I nod for Theo to take the easy route and leave. He already achieved what he came here to do—drop off the eclipse. “We’ll catch up in the city, man.”
“Be good, Blackwood.” He winks at me, mocking the new family lifestyle I’ve been forced into, then walks off.
Clara clicks her fingers, commanding my attention back to her. “I don’t want drug dealers anywhere near this family. Have you completed your schoolwork? ”
I smile at her, fanning my arms through the water. “Sure.”
She sighs, not believing the lie. “Felix, you shouldn’t be relaxing in the spa unless all of your work is done for the day.”
I don’t do schoolwork, but I’m not wasting my time telling Clara that, and instead climb out of the water, wrap a towel around myself, and head for the house.
“Don’t walk away from me. I’m not done speaking.”
“Okay, Mom, let’s hear it.”
She watches me for a long moment, apparently choosing her battles, and decides to let this one drop.
“I have a favor to ask of you. I’m about to take Harper to the ballet studio for the afternoon.
I need to drive to the city to deal with an issue about my upcoming exhibition.
It will be a stretch for me to drive back in time to pick up Harper.
Thomas is busy with video conference calls all afternoon for work.
Can you please collect Harper from the studio at five? ”
“You must be desperate if you’re asking for my help. Harper won’t be pleased to see me.” I continue toward the house, calling over my shoulder, “I have plans.”
“Which include?”
“Nothing you’d be pleased to hear about.” Meeting up with a few people at a bar in town to sell eclipse.
“Felix, this needs to stop. I thought things might have slightly improved between us since arriving at the beach house. I’m trying to give you a fresh start. You’re not working with me at all.”
“Stop trying to fix me.” I turn back to Clara, frustrated at how this woman can’t take a hint to leave me alone. “I’m not your problem and I don’t need to be fixed. I don’t need help from anyone. The thing I’ve learned about this world is that I’m on my own and nobody has my back except me.”
“You’re not on your own. You’re a son to me. I love you as I love Harper. You’re ruining your life and I can’t stand to see it. Please, let me help you. Let me love you as my child.”
I’m shaken for a moment, hearing the word love . It’s been spoken so little to me in my life.
But there’s no part of me that wants to change, even if Clara does love me. I like this new life I’ve created for myself. The best part about it is no one can hurt me. No one can abandon me because I’m not reliant on anyone for anything.
My lips twitch, amused over Clara’s situation. I fold my arms and lower my voice, attempting to hold back from laughing, “Your daughter has turned against you. Your marriage is strained. You’re trying to fix me, but I have no intention of changing. Ask yourself, is it worth the effort?”
“Yes,” she answers without hesitation. “Harper will come around. My husband doesn’t agree with me, but he supports me. That’s the thing about family, they always have your back.”
“Not my experience with family. Not my experience with you, either. You didn’t have my back the first time I slipped up. I don’t want your motherly guidance and love. I can take care of myself.”
“You’re afraid of letting people get close because you’ve been hurt in the past. You know how to hold a grudge, Felix. You see it as a strength that protects you, but I promise you, it’s your greatest weakness.” Her voice wavers with emotion.
She searches through her handbag for something.
“I can see we’re getting nowhere with this discussion.
I’ll have to find some other way to pick Harper up from ballet.
Do your schoolwork. Make sure you’re here for dinner.
And Felix? I don’t care if you don’t want my love.
You have it and I’m not giving up on you. ”
Clara pulls an envelope from her handbag and places it on the table. “This is for you. Please take care of it.”
Before I have the chance to tell Clara I don’t want whatever is inside that envelope, she threads her arm through her handbag, grabs her keys, and leaves the pool area.
Ocean Breeze Grill is a nice waterfront restaurant where no eyes wander to the corner booth I’m occupying with a clean-cut young man. It’s quiet here, early afternoon. I exchange a small bag of eclipse for a large pile of cash with the gentleman, then he slides out, leaving me alone with my drink.
I tuck the cash into the inside pocket of my jacket, noticing Clara’s envelope beside it.
Please take care of it.
Having no clue what she would trust me with, I open the seal, finding a handwritten letter inside, along with a photograph.
Felix,
This is the only photo I have of your mother. I loved her dearly and the photo is very precious, but I think it will be better off with you. Take care of it.
Love,
Clar a
I’ve seen a few photographs of my mother over the years, but there aren’t many.
I pull the photo out of the envelope. It’s one I’ve never seen before, of my mother heavily pregnant with Dan, smiling at the photographer while hugging me, Tyler, and Killian.
It would have been taken only days before she passed away.
My chest grows heavy with sadness over the loss of my mother and how she was taken from me too soon. What I would give to speak to her one more time, as a man. To know what kind of woman she was.
Clara said I have my mother’s sense of humor. If that’s true, and Clara was her best friend, Clara liked that side of her… Clara can’t really be all that bad.
Guilt hits me. I sigh, rubbing a hand over my jaw, knowing I’ve been too harsh on Clara. I don’t want to like her, but there’s no denying how thoughtful the gift of this photograph is.
And yet, as much as I appreciate the gift, it feels wrong keeping it for myself.
I’ll give it to Dan.
At least Tyler and I have memories of our mom.
Killian had her for a year. Dan has nothing except guilt.
Despite what I tell him, he blames himself for our family falling apart and believes our father resents him for Mom’s death.
I don’t know how our father feels, but he does nothing to alleviate Dan’s concern.
I pull out my phone and send Clara a message.
FELIX: Thank you for the photo. It will be kept in good hands.
I was harsh on you during our argument. I’m sorry.
Don’t rush home from the city. I’ll pick up Harper from ballet.
When you return, I’d like to hear your stories about my mother, if you’re willing.
Perhaps we can find common ground through her.