56. Harper
CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX
HARPER
Monday afternoon, I arrive at the academy for rehearsals.
The lead in Swan Lake is still mine. The doctor says my stomach won’t be showing for a few months.
No one needs to know. Swan Lake is another six weeks away.
If I can just make it to performance night, perhaps all won’t be lost for my career.
As I climb the steps to the academy, I try to be present and focus on ballet, but my head isn’t here.
The weekend was a nightmare, with my father refusing to talk to me other than when forcing the idea of marriage upon me.
I haven’t told him Tyler has already proposed.
If I decide to marry Tyler, I want it to be because of my own choosing, not because my father is forcing me into it.
Tyler and I spoke on the phone each night. He’s being very sweet, doting on me and asking if there’s anything I need. Comfort food, fluffy slippers, a goodnight kiss. He says he’ll drop everything and bring me whatever I need, any hour of the day.
He tells me we have his father’s support, which is a shock to hear. Tyler says I never have to worry about finances, as he has his trust fund, and he’ll take care of everything from here on out.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about his marriage proposal over the weekend, and during the odd moment when I’m not scared out of my mind about this pregnancy, I have moments of happiness, imagining a future with him.
And then I think about Felix and my happiness is ripped to shreds.
Fuck Felix.
He abandoned me. Again . I want to scream. Where the fuck is he when I need him? What the fuck is he doing?
I was so stupid to believe my heart would be safe with him. Instinct told me he was too good to be true, and yet I still let myself fall so deeply in love with him.
I shake Felix from my mind, inhaling the familiar scent of rosin as I push through the academy’s entrance. Piano music trails from one of the studios. This place always feels like home, but the second I step inside, something is off.
There’s a weight in the air. The usual chatter from students dims as I walk along the corridor. Heads turn, just enough for me to catch the flicker of eyes before they snap away.
Then the laughter starts, hidden behind hands.
My palms turn clammy. I tell myself people aren’t laughing at me and keep walking with my bag slung over my shoulder. I should be thinking about my warm-ups and the segment of Swan Lake we’re rehearsing today.
But I can’t. Not with the way voices hush when I get too close. They’re whispering about me. I know it. But why, I can’t tell.
I move faster, heading toward the main studio. Right before I make it inside, someone speaks to me. A ballerina I barely know .
“Hey, Harper. Who’s the father?”
My heart stops. My chest is so tight I can’t breathe.
The girl is surrounded by a group of friends, each one of them laughing at me.
They all know.
How do they know?
My fingers tighten around my bag strap. The ground feels unsteady beneath me, but I force my feet to move, scanning the studio as I enter, searching for Cindy.
She’s standing near the barre with one hip popped, laughing with a few girls I’ve never seen her show interest in.
Cindy is the only person here I’ve told about the pregnancy.
She wouldn’t have shared the information with anyone.
She took me to the doctor on Friday. She helped me come up with a plan.
Cindy held me as I cried and told me everything would be all right.
She wouldn’t gossip about me.
But I can’t think of any other explanation for how news of this pregnancy has spread.
I grab Cindy by the wrist and pull her to the side of the studio for privacy. “People know,” I whisper, feeling bile crawl up my throat. “Did you tell them?”
She releases her hand from my grip, all wide-eyed and innocent. “Oh, Harper. You can’t seriously think I’d do something like that. Maybe your dad called in.”
There’s no way. Dad is humiliated by this pregnancy. He doesn’t want a soul to know. The only other people who know are Tyler and Josh, and neither one of them have anything to do with the academy.
Before I can ask Cindy any further questions, a student walks past with a bright smile. “Congrats, Cindy. You deserve the lead. ”
My stomach drops. “What is she talking about?” I whisper in disbelief. “ I have the lead.”
Cindy smiles. “I only found out this morning. I suppose the director sees you as unfit for the role, given your… situation.”
I swallow hard, realization dawning on me when I see the amusement in Cindy’s smile. Felix warned me Cindy was a jealous friend, but I never wanted to believe it. I’m seeing it now, the way she’s thriving due to my downfalls and isn’t showing one bit of remorse.
Another realization hits me. Cindy told her little sister about Tyler and Felix, but I was too loyal and believed her lies when she got caught.
Now, she has the nerve to lie to me again, claiming she never told the academy about my pregnancy.
They found out somehow. She’s the only one who benefits from them knowing.
What hurts more than losing the role I’ve worked so hard for and the humiliation of everyone knowing about the pregnancy is that my best friend has deceived me.
I trusted her. I thought I could rely on my judgment of character, but I can’t even trust in myself anymore. Everyone I believed in has hurt me. The only person who hasn’t is Tyler.
Cindy shrugs, shifting her weight onto one foot.
“Come on, Harper. Don’t be upset. Someone had to take your role.
Swan Lake doesn’t stop just because you made a few bad choices.
I don’t want to say I told you so, but I did share my concerns a few months back that you were taking things too far with Tyler and Felix.
Maybe you should’ve been more careful with how much sex you were having. ”
Cindy’s comment slaps me harder than any fall I’ve ever taken in rehearsal.
Her last words weren’t spoken quietly, and a bunch of girls laugh, overhearing. Cindy glances over her shoulder at them. When she turns back to me, she composes herself a little too late, and the remnants of a laugh remain on her lips.
I look at her— really look at her. The smug twist of her mouth. The victorious way she’s standing. It’s like she’s been waiting for this very moment.
Cindy planned this and now she’s gotten everything she wants.