22. Ally
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
ALLY
My five-day weekend arrives and I’m catching an early lift with Josh Thursday morning as he drives to Manhattan for work. We were busy talking about plans for Daxton and Jordan’s wedding until I received a text from Dan, linking an audition application for Juilliard.
I sigh with mixed feelings. Dan believes in me and knows me too well to trust when I say I’m content with teaching. I love that about him. But there’s also disappointment and fear inside me over Juilliard, knowing I’m not good enough based off my time at the Paris Conservatoire. Even if I were good enough, I can’t audition without breaking out in a panic. I want nothing more than to fill out the application form, but I can’t bring myself to do it.
“So, you’re attending the bridesmaid fittings with Jordan this weekend.” Josh’s voice draws me back to our conversation. “What else is on the agenda while staying in the city?”
I put my phone away. “I’m attending the ballet with Violet tonight.”
“And the boyfriend? Are you spending time with Liam? ”
My shoulders clench. “Liam isn’t my boyfriend. We’ve just been on a few dates.”
I’ve wanted to officially end things with Liam since our date last weekend but he’s out of town with his band. I don’t know much about dating, but what I do know is that I like and respect Liam and he deserves an in-person explanation.
Josh glances at me for a second, smiles, then focuses back on the road. “Your mother and I like Liam a lot.”
Yeah, I can tell. They ask me about him every other day. “I’m also spending Dan’s birthday with him.”
Josh’s eyebrows knit. “How did you talk him into that?”
A flush of heat hits me between my thighs at the memory of me grinding on Dan’s leg with his cock in my hand. “Um… I won a poker game against him and this was the prize.”
Worst lie ever. I’ve never won a game against Dan in my life.
Josh’s brow remains furrowed as he drives in silence. I don’t know how to read his expression. Frustration or disappointment. A rumor surfaced in the media on Tuesday about Dan winning a million dollars in a poker game. It’s brought negative press to Forever Families and has been a stressful week for Mom and Josh. I’m tempted to ask Josh what he’s thinking, but Dan is a sensitive topic for him that I’m not game to broach.
After minutes of driving in silence, Josh speaks quietly. “Out of all my sons, Dan is the one I’ve struggled with the most. He rebels the most. He frustrates me. I can’t get through to him. I don’t know how to talk to him anymore. But none of that stops me from loving him. I’m glad Dan has someone like you in his life and that he won’t be alone on his birthday. Thank you, Ally. ”
“I… um…” I don’t know how to respond. While I’ve always seen Josh’s affectionate, fatherly side, I’ve never witnessed him be so vulnerable in front of me. “You don’t need to thank me. We’re family and I care a lot about Dan.” Wow, this is weird. “I’ve never liked him being alone on his birthday.”
“I do need to thank you, Ally. You don’t know it, but you and your mother are the glue to this family. My boys see you as a sister and Amabella as a mother. After their mother passed away, I struggled to be the father my sons deserved. I made mistakes I wish I could take back. But I love them all very much. I love you and Amabella for bringing them back to me, even if my relationship with them is tarnished. I think the reason I cling to you and your mother so tight is because I messed up with my sons and I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes with you two.”
“Have you told them this?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t know how to when Dan barely speaks to me. The other three aren’t much better.”
“Maybe you could write them a letter, or I could say something to them on your behalf.”
“No, Ally, I appreciate the offer, but I don’t want you in the middle of this. My boys are something I have to figure out on my own.”
“Okay. I understand.”
His face softens, his voice warm again as he glances from the road to me. “Speaking of family, your mother mentioned you were asking about a photo of your father.”
“Yes.” I sit a little taller, hoping good news is about to follow. “It’s a photo of us from when I was born. I haven’t seen it in years, ever since we moved in with you. Mom said she was going to search for it.”
“I’ve been thinking maybe you could ask Daxton about the photo. He stored a couple of your mom’s boxes at his place during the move. I thought we received them all but perhaps a few got left behind.”
I sink back with disappointment. At least I have a potential lead on that photo. Daxton owns the hotel he lives in, and after all the terrible things that went down with Mom’s ex, Daxton housed us in the same building, a few floors below and free of charge. The photo could definitely be in Daxton’s penthouse.
“You make a good point. Thanks. I’ll ask him.”
“So, do I get any more details about this mystery guy you ran off with at the benefit?” Violet asks while applying mascara in the mirror.
We’re both getting dressed for tonight’s ballet in the guest bedroom Daxton and Jordan always give me when I stay at their place. The room is fancy, like the rest of the penthouse, with a glass wall that looks out to the private rooftop pool and has a stunning view of Central Park.
I sit on the edge of my bed, buckling my heels and acting oblivious. “What are you talking about? I didn’t run off with anyone.”
“Oh, come on. You were glaring at some guy for talking to another woman. Then you excuse yourself for a family photo and that’s the last I see of you for the rest of the night. You were totally sneaking away with whoever that guy was.”
“I was busy socializing and talking to reporters.”
Despite the awkwardness of her questions, there’s a little ball of happiness burning in my chest because I’ve never had a girlfriend like this before. Someone to discuss boys with. There’s Jordan, but she’s a lot older than me and I never know if what I tell her will get back to Daxton and my mom.
Something inside me wants to open up to Violet and tell her everything about Dan but leave his name out. I could never live with myself if anyone finds out I’ve been fooling around with my stepbrother. But the slight risk of Violet placing two and two together holds me back from saying anything.
“Nothing happened with that guy.”
She sinks onto the bed with me, blowing out a huff of air. “Well, that’s disappointing. I was hoping to live vicariously through your sex life.”
We both laugh. “What about you and Killian?” I ask. “I can see potential with you two. If you repeat this to him, I’ll deny it, but sometimes I catch him looking at you.”
She smiles, ducking her head. “Your brother is very… handsome. I could see myself with him. But we’re friends and colleagues and I know neither one of us wants to cross the line of professionalism. You’ve seen what Sacred Heart is like.”
Yeah, I do know what Sacred Heart is like, which only confirms my decision to remain quiet about Dan.
“So, is Liam amazing with his dick or something?”
I snort, caught off guard by the question. “What do you mean?”
“I’m trying to figure out why you’re with him.”
“I’m not with him. I’m going to end things with him—” A knock on the bedroom door interrupts me. “Come in.”
Daxton steps inside, handsome in a black suit and about to head out for the night with Jordan. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything. ”
“Not at all,” Violet says. “We were only talking about boys.”
“Only?” Daxton teases. “That’s the best topic of conversation. I’ll let you girls get back to it. I just wanted to let you know there’s a car service waiting downstairs to take you two to the ballet.”
“Okay, thanks.” I rise from the bed and grab my purse. Daxton turns to leave, but I call out to him before he closes the door, remembering my conversation in the car with Josh. “Hey, Uncle Dax?”
“Yeah, kid?”
“I’ve been looking for a photo of my father that I haven’t seen in years. Josh mentioned that when Mom and I moved out of here, you stored a couple of her boxes and might still have them. The photo could be inside one of them. Do you know if you have those boxes?”
Daxton sucks his bottom lip, thinking about the question. “It rings a bell. I might have those boxes buried at the back of my closet. I’ll see if I can dig them up later tonight.”
The ballet is beautiful. I enjoy Violet’s commentary on the performance and all the ballet knowledge she shares with me. Tyler’s girlfriend, Harper, is a principal ballerina in the show, and it turns out Violet knows her from her own time in the New York City Ballet.
The two of us stay up all night talking and laughing out by Daxton’s rooftop pool and it’s the most fun I’ve had with anyone other than Dan. Come Friday morning, she returns to The Hamptons, and a stack of boxes are waiting for me in Daxton’s living room. I spend the morning sorting through them .
There’s no photo of my father inside.
I blow off my frustration by playing Daxton’s piano. My afternoon is occupied with Jordan and the bridesmaid dress fittings. By evening, I’m ready to curl up and watch something in their home theater, tired from the day, but a phone call from Liam stops me. I return to my bedroom, pacing around the room in a cold sweat as I answer.
“Hi, Liam.”
“Hey, beautiful, I’ve missed you. I’ve been thinking about you all day long. All week long.”
His words are flattering but I find them hard to believe, considering there’s another person he’s seeing.
“I’m back in town earlier than expected. You said you’re in the city. Can I see you tonight?” he asks.
I’m about to turn him down with the truth, that I’m tired. I also don’t want to deal with the awkward and tense encounter of ending things with him, which I plan to do the next time we see each other. I hate confrontation. My mom’s ex hit her for trying to leave him. I know this is a different situation and I don’t believe Liam will turn violent over me wanting to just be friends, but it’s still a stressful conversation to have.
Dan is the one thing that gives me courage. It’s his birthday on Sunday and I don’t want this issue with Liam lingering over my head. Dan deserves my full attention on his birthday, especially with it being such a difficult day for him.
“I can make tonight work.” My throat strains and there’s a sharpness in my stomach as I push myself to be honest. “There’s something we need to discuss. Can we meet somewhere public?”
Silence lingers on Liam’s end of the phone. He sighs. “Shit. I know those words. What’s wrong? ”
My stomach clenches tighter. “Um… I’d rather talk in person.”
He swears under his breath. “Tell me now. I can take it.”
“I’d rather see you?—”
“Ally.” His voice is firm but level. “If you’re ending this, just tell me. I don’t want to wait. You have me sweating like mad over here.”
I wipe my own sweaty palms on my dress and swallow hard, afraid of his reaction. “Okay, um, I like you a lot and I mean it, but just as a friend.”
He sighs, staying silent for so long that I have to ask if he’s still on the phone with me. “Yeah, I’m here. I’m just processing everything.”
“We can meet up if you want to discuss this further,” I tell him, jittery and bouncing on the spot, my words coming out fast. “You’re a good guy. I really would like to be friends but I understand if you’re not interested. In terms of dating, I think we’re just too different. I thought I would be okay with an open relationship but I’m not. I understand you have your way of doing things. I just want one person. One guy and—” Shut the hell up with the nervous talking, Ally.
Liam sighs again. “I really like you, Ally. I’m sorry this didn’t work. Maybe we can talk in a few days. Tonight is probably not the best idea. I need some time to think.”
“Sure. Whatever you need.”
“Goodbye, Ally.”