36. Ally
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
ALLY
My mother refuses to talk to me throughout the entire drive home from the benefit. I don’t hear a single word from her until the two of us step through the front door of the beach house.
“Explain yourself, Ally.”
My mother is a calm woman. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her raise her voice, especially not at me. Yet I can tell from the sharpness in her tone how furious and disturbed she is right now. I can see it in her eyes. I’m not her little girl anymore. She’s disgusted with me. I’m living in a nightmare, having news of my relationship with Dan come to light in this manner. The embarrassment and shame is something I don’t know how to deal with. But out of all the things I’ve done wrong, I know loving Dan isn’t one of them.
“Help me understand why you would do something like this.”
My throat feels as if there’s a huge ball wedged in it. “I love him,” I whisper, my entire body shaking as I stare at my feet .
“Oh, Ally, please tell me you are not foolish enough to believe whatever this is between you and Dan is love. And please, for the love of God, tell me you haven’t slept with him.” I don’t say anything, and she reads my silence perfectly. “I am sick . Were you sleeping with him behind Liam’s back? I thought I raised you to know better.”
My shoulders rise closer to my ears, and I clench my eyes shut, whispering, “I didn’t cheat on Liam.”
“How long has this been going on behind my back?”
“Since I first met Dan. We fought our feelings for each other from the start. I know Dan is like a son to you, but he’s not my brother. He’s never been a brother to me.”
“ Six years,” she gasps, furious. “You’ve been lying to me, doing God knows what right beneath my nose, for six years? Who even are you? Certainly not the daughter I thought I had.”
My vision grows blurred with tears, hearing her talk like this to me. I wipe my eyes before they start leaking and try to remain strong.
“This… thing you have with Dan stops now. Do you understand me? It’s wrong. I don’t want you around him again, at least not until Josh and I have figured out how to deal with you two. He’s a bad influence on you. Do not call Dan. Do not text him?—”
“Mom, you’re treating me like a child.” Somehow, I find my voice, but she’s quick to cut me off.
“Because you’re acting like a child. Tomorrow, there will be photos everywhere of you with your dress around your waist, looking like a whore, and with your brother, of all people. You know how hard Josh and I have worked to make Forever Families thrive. I’ve poured everything into it, and for what? We’ll be ruined when this hits the media. Did you ever stop to consider how your actions would impact those around you, even yourself? You’ll be fired from Sacred Heart, for sure.”
I’m vibrating, burning up over the way she’s speaking to me. Maybe I’m expecting too much of her in this moment, considering the bombshell of information that’s been dropped on her about me and Dan. But it would have been nice to have my mother’s empathy considering I’ve been caught on camera in such a vulnerable position.
“I need a drink to deal with this.” She hangs her coat and purse on a hook by the front door and sighs, heading out of the entry way.
I watch the back of her head as she leaves, wondering if it’s best to give her space. She’s not in any state to have a reasonable conversation with and I’d like to avoid being labeled with more derogatory terms. I don’t know if I can express myself adequately even if I try speaking with her about Dan. But there’s one thing I’m certain of.
“I won’t stop seeing him,” I say before she disappears around the corner.
My mother pauses, listening to my words but not turning to face me.
I’m holding back tears. My voice is weak, but this she needs to know. “I didn’t come home with you tonight because you ordered it. I came here because I love and care about you and thought we could talk about this properly. I understand this is a lot for you to take on board. When you’re ready to talk, I’ll be in my bedroom.”
She doesn’t respond. The house is deathly silent, all but for the sound of my mother’s high heels on the marble floor as she walks away from me.
Now that I’m alone, I let the tears fall down my cheeks. My emotions run raw, wishing I could rewind time and have chosen to stay in the city with Dan this weekend, where I was so stupidly happy.
I reach for my purse to call Dan and tell him I’m sorry for not being more careful tonight, that I love him and despite the nightmare we’re in, I’m not running away this time. But only now that I’m alone and have a moment to breathe, do I realize my purse isn’t on me.
I left the benefit in such a hurry, I must have left my purse in the office where Dan and I were discovered. I never even had a chance to put my panties back on. They’re still there in that office, probably having been photographed a hundred times already, solidifying the proof of what Dan and I were doing.
Without my phone, I don’t have any means of contacting Dan. I don’t know his number off the top of my head, and he doesn’t use any form of social media. What a perfect end to this horrendous night.