38. Ally
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
ALLY
Moonlight streams down on me in my bay window, shining on the Queen of Hearts card in my hand. She’s been the only thing keeping me sane these last twenty-four hours. Neither of my parents have spoken to me, other than a warning to stay in the house, away from the reporters that have set up camp in front of our gates. I told Mom and Josh I’d like the three of us to speak about me and Dan, but they turned me away, saying they’re too busy in damage control mode with Forever Families.
It’s part of the truth. They’ve been locked in the home office all day taking non-stop video meetings and giving statements to the public. This step sibling scandal, along with the regular bad press Dan’s poker games bring to the organization, has the public demanding an audit of the charity’s credibility.
The other part of the truth is that my parents don’t want to entertain the idea of Dan and me having real feelings for each other.
Their reaction is beyond upsetting, but not a shock. This is why I tried to keep me and Dan a secret. But now the whole world knows and I’m being punished for loving him. I lost my job this morning. No surprise there. Principal Sinclair was able to reach me on the home’s landline. The conversation between us was humiliating but is so small in the grand scheme of all my issues. I haven’t bothered searching my name on the internet, knowing I’m better off without seeing the photos or reading what’s being said about me.
My bedroom door creaks open, letting in a trail of light to the darkness I’m sitting in. “Knock, knock.”
I glance at the door, finding Daxton’s head poking inside. I had no idea he was visiting. Ordinarily, I’d be happy to have his company. But I don’t think I can handle seeing him right now if he has anything negative to say. Nor can I deal with him, of all people, thinking less of me.
“Hey, kid. Can I come in?”
“Only if you don’t hate me now too.”
“No one hates you. Certainly not me.”
I squint when Daxton turns the light on. He steps inside, closing the door behind himself, and joins me at my window seat.
I slip the Queen of Hearts into the pocket of my pajama pants. “Mom called you here for support, I guess. How did you get through all the paparazzi at the gates?”
“Your parents hired security.”
It’s that bad out there? Jesus.
I stare at my hands, fidgeting with them in my lap. “You should have seen how angry Mom and Josh were with me last night. They struggle to look at me, their perfect little girl who is not so perfect anymore.”
He contemplates my words, silent for a long moment before nodding. “I’ve never told you this, but I messed up really bad when Jordan and I first started dating. So bad that she broke up with me and I thought I would never see her again.”
I look up at him, a little surprised. Curious, even. But I don’t pry.
“The point I’m making is that I’m not perfect. No one is. And I’m the last person who should be judging anyone. Your entire life, Ally, you’ve always worked so hard to be the perfect daughter. Perfect student. Perfect musician. You’ve never stepped a toe out of line. Perhaps you think people will like you more if you’re perfect. Whatever the reason, I can’t imagine how tiresome the pressure would be. You don’t need to be this perfect girl that other people might want you to be. You need to do what will make you happy.” He stops with the spiel and smiles at me. “Dan makes you happy.”
I lower my head and sigh, fidgeting with my hands in my lap. Daxton might be my favorite person in the world, second to Dan. He always knows the right thing to say. “Can you repeat all of that to Mom and Josh?”
“I’m working on it. But they need time to process you and Dan.”
“You’re a really good guy, you know that? Jordan is so lucky to be marrying you.”
He chuckles. “I remember when Jordan first met you. You were fifteen. She told me and your mom that you had a crush on Dan. Your mother was convinced Jordan was mistaken. She said you were such a lonely child and just happy to have a friend in Dan. The evidence has always been in front of your mother’s face. Perhaps she didn’t want to believe it because she’s had such a rough past and was so set upon having a picture-perfect family for once.”
Daxton again with all the insightful wisdom.
“I wanted a picture-perfect family too after what happened with Mom’s ex. I tried really hard to keep Dan as a friend. A… brother.” I cringe, using that label for him. “But he’s not. I won’t stop seeing Dan. At the same time, I care about Mom and Josh’s opinion of me, and I want to fix this family. I don’t like that I’ve caused so many issues for them with Forever Families.”
Daxton takes my hand in his, giving it an encouraging squeeze. “Tell them everything you’ve just said to me.”
“I’ve tried. They don’t want to talk.”
“They’ll come around. Give them time.” Daxton stands from the window seat. “In the meantime, come downstairs and eat ice cream with me.”
I smile, about to take him up on the offer, but something more pressing comes to mind. “Ice cream sounds good. Would you mind if I borrow your phone first to call Dan? I left mine at the benefit and haven’t been able to contact him since.” Nor have I been game to ask Mom or Josh if I can borrow their phone to make this call.
“Sure. I’ll be downstairs when you’re ready.” Daxton hands me his phone and steps out of my room.
The moment I’m alone, I’m left staring at the screen, wondering how I plan to contact Dan when I still don’t have his number. I scroll through Daxton’s contacts, hopeful to find Dan’s name. It’s not there, nor can I find anyone else’s name who would be able to pass Dan’s number to me. Goddammit. I don’t know why I thought this would work.
I take a long shot, calling Jordan in the hopes that she can help me find Dan’s number. When she doesn’t answer, I give up, knowing I’ll have to resort to the dreaded option of asking one of my parents for their phone. I’m betting they’ll turn me away when I explain I’ve lost my phone and would like to use theirs to speak with Dan. But I’ll take my chances.
I head downstairs, straight for the office, a ball of nervous energy as I knock on the door. Nobody answers. My palms are sweating, anxious over disturbing them in a meeting. I knock a second time, and when there’s still no answer, I open the door, finding the office empty and… my phone laying in the middle of their desk.
My purse is there too. A slither of pink lace peeks out from the zipper and I realize it’s my panties I left behind at the benefit.
Jesus Christ. My parents have had these items the whole time? What, did Josh grab my belongings at the benefit, realizing I’d left them behind? And now they’ve kept them here in secret, knowing that without my phone I can’t contact Dan.
I don’t care how much stress they’re under, how disappointed and even angry they are in my choices, keeping my phone from me isn’t right.
My blood pumps hot around my body with frustration. I live under my parents’ roof but it’s not because I’m reliant on them. They were the ones who were so eager for us to live together when I returned from Paris. I have my own money. I pay for this phone myself. Yet they’ve kept the phone from me like I’m a rebellious teenager instead of a fully-grown adult. Just because they don’t like me being with Dan doesn’t mean they can act like this.
I lean against the desk and hold my head in my hands, wondering if it’s all my fault they’ve kept my phone from me. They believe they’re doing right by me. They’re treating me like a child because I’ve always let them treat me this way. My behavior needs to change.
With a heavy exhale, I unlock my phone to call Dan, finding our text message conversation already open. There are a bunch of messages from Dan, asking if I’m okay and why I’m not returning his texts or phone calls. Then I see the last message from me.
Ally
Please stop trying to contact me. I need space from you after everything that happened.
My hand tightens around the phone, my blood pressure rising.
I never sent that message.
Someone sent it. Who?
I’m riddled with disbelief, not wanting to face that my parents could have sent Dan a message, pretending to be me. They wouldn’t… They’re mad with me but…
I grow hotter by the second, seething , not seeing any other possibility when they’re the ones who have been in possession of my phone. If they did send the message, this is crossing the fucking line. Do they think they’re protecting me? Whatever the answer is, I don’t care. There’s no acceptable excuse. Sending this message is deceitful and an invasion of privacy.
I storm out of the office, searching for Mom and Josh. Voices come from the kitchen. I search there first, finding them in a conversation with Daxton, the three of them sitting on stools around the island counter.
“You hid my phone from me?” I interrupt, my voice revolted but level.
The three of them turn my way, startled by my tone.
“Yes,” Mom admits. “We didn’t want?—”
“You sent Dan a message, pretending to be me. ”
She falters, looking to Josh for support. “We did what we thought was best?—”
“How dare you,” I shout. I’m shaking, having an out of body experience, never having raised my voice like this in my entire life. I always speak to my parents with the utmost respect, but I’m too angry to care right now. They don’t deserve my respect when they don’t respect me.
They’re sitting wide-eyed, stunned by my outburst, Daxton especially. He’s the first one to move, his gaze shifting in confusion between me and my parents. “Ally, take a breath.”
I ignore him, unleashing myself on my parents. “Do you even care about Dan in all of this and how that message will impact him? You say you don’t recognize me anymore. I don’t recognize you two either. I stayed with you last night instead of going to Dan because I love you and thought you deserved an explanation about my relationship with him, but you don’t want to talk. You want me to fall into line and take orders. I am not a child. And I am not staying here another night.”
“Ally, you’re upset,” Josh says carefully. “There’s a lot of high stress going on in this household right now and you’re not thinking properly.”
“For the first time, I’m thinking properly.”
“You have no car,” Mom adds. “Not to mention all the press outside.”
“I don’t care about the press. And I don’t care if I have to walk to Dan. I am leaving this house.”
“Ally, enough,” her voice cuts through the air, trying to discipline me.
“No. I’m an adult and you don’t get to treat me like this. You don’t get to tell me who I can and can’t love. You don’t get to tell me I look like a whore. ”
Silence rings between all four of us, broken only by Daxton in disbelief. “A… whore?”
My mother sighs, holding her temples. “I was speaking in reference to the photographs of Ally taken last night and the bad image they would cast upon her and Forever Families. I said they would make her look like a whore, not that she is one.”
I scoff, finally understanding Dan’s issue with the organization. “That’s all you seem to care about, saving Forever Families, instead of talking to your children and mending relationships.”
“Ally, that’s not true,” Josh says, trying to cease fire and hush me with his hands. “Your mother and I care about you very much.”
“How? Because I can’t see it. You won’t talk to me. You send a message to Dan, impersonating me, trying to destroy my relationship with him. God knows how terrible he’s feeling right now. I thought you wanted to fix things between you and Dan. You’ve just made everything a million times worse for yourself. He’s a good person and deserves so much better than this treatment.”
Daxton digs into his suit jacket, retrieving keys. “I think it’s best for everyone if you all have space to calm down. I’ll take Ally back to the city to be with Dan.”
“Absolutely not,” Mom snaps. “That will only encourage?—”
“Amabella, you are driving your daughter away from you right now. Trust me in this decision before you lose her for good.”