My Favorite Sinners (Playing Favorites #3)

Chapter 1 Felix

CHAPTER ONE

FELIX

I’m at my father’s engagement party when I see Harper for the first time since she broke my heart a year ago.

She’s unaware of my eyes on her, standing across the crowded living room. I thought I’d prepared myself well for this moment but seeing her is more painful than I expected. She’s more beautiful than I remember. She’s happy, smiling at Tyler. That’s the part that hurts the most.

My brother gets all her smiles and to make her laugh. He gets to fall asleep every night with her in his arms. He gets her kisses. Her moans. Her perfect body.

Tyler has access to every precious piece of Harper and doesn’t deserve any of it.

Fuck him and his happiness.

“Champagne?” A passing waiter holds up a tray of flute glasses.

At least the alcohol is flowing at this party. My father knows how to throw money around to impress people. Tonight, his penthouse is buzzing with Manhattan A-listers. Journalists and photographers are here to report on the “happy family” he’s building.

I drink a flute of champagne in two gulps then grab another before the waiter leaves. My gaze returns to Harper. She’s laughing with Dad’s fiancée, Amabella, while wrapped in Tyler’s arms.

My breath stops when Harper’s eyes suddenly land on me. Every inch of my body is aching and burning up. Her laughter disappears, replaced by a miserable darkness in her eyes as if she’s never known a day of happiness in her life.

So many emotions live within those beautiful blue eyes. Sorrow. Despair. Anguish. Guilt. But what I see most of all…

It rips me to shreds because she should not be looking at me like she… loves me.

Fuck. That is the last goddamn thing I need to see from Harper. She’s the one who broke up with me. She insisted we could no longer be a trio. I was a wreck after losing her and have worked hard to get my life back on track.

Harper tugs Tyler’s arm. He breaks conversation with Amabella, following Harper’s gaze straight to me. The piece of shit instantly leaves his post with Harper, weaving among guests for me, always desperate to have my forgiveness.

I don’t know how I can forgive him for the choices he made while I was trapped at that fucked up reform school, Westbridge, for five months by my father’s command.

Tyler worked with our dad in lying to Harper, claiming he didn’t know where I was, and let her believe I abandoned her.

When Harper got pregnant, Tyler made plans to marry her even though he knew she was my entire world and I was coming back for her.

I can’t understand Tyler’s logic, not when he claims the three of us were the most important thing to him.

If he just used his fucking head for once instead of following our father’s order to lie, we’d still be together.

I skipped town for a few months after the breakup, rarely sober and unable to face reality. Since returning to the city, I’ve been unable to avoid Tyler due to family events, but I’ve kept my distance, shutting him down every time he tries to apologize.

I’ve received countless phone calls from him, Harper too, which have led me to block their numbers. I’ve given my doorman strict orders to never let them enter my building. Neither of them can take the hint to fuck off out of my life.

My brother and Harper annihilated me. So, while Harper is looking at me like she loves me, and while Tyler is desperate for us to be the close brothers we once were, I can’t let their bullshit back into my life.

Rule one: Never trust Harper and Tyler. This way, they’ll never be able to hurt me again.

Rule two: Under no circumstance, no matter how fucking badly I want it, am I to engage in any kind of sexual intercourse with Harper.

I turn my back on them and disappear among the party guests. My career is now my sole focus in life. I’m dealing eclipse with Theo and will soon be opening my speakeasy.

Besides, Harper and Tyler’s relationship is messy, wrapped up in secrets, lies, and shame, and I want no part of it.

They have issues I can’t even try to understand.

I fled town, unable to watch Harper marry my brother and bring a child into this world with him.

When I built up the courage to return, I was shocked to find no baby or marriage.

No one was even aware of Tyler and Harper’s situation, other than my father.

Even to this day, my two youngest brothers, Dan and Killian, are clueless to everything that happened.

No one has told them I used to be with Harper or that I shared her with Tyler.

They don’t know I killed a man while fighting him off Harper.

They don’t know our father covered up the murder or that he sent me across the country to Westbridge.

I’m confident Dad hasn’t told Amabella any of this. She’s enamored by him and thinks he’s an honorable man. He wouldn’t risk frightening her away by sharing the skeletons in his closet.

To play along with Dad’s cover-up, I fed Killian and Dan a lie about attending boarding school; it’s easier than recounting the truth. They’ve asked me questions, particularly why I can’t stand to be around Tyler when he was once my closest friend. I’ve told them it’s private.

Lucky for me, they’re consumed in their own lives and haven’t pried too hard. Killian’s always off chasing girls. Dan is spending all his time with the newest additions to the Blackwood family—our soon-to-be stepmom and her daughter, Ally.

I can’t blame him. Amabella is lovely. She’s the mother we’ve never had. Ally is this timid kid who has trauma from her mom’s violent ex. She’s been bullied at school. She didn’t have any friends until meeting Dan. Now I never see the two apart.

Amabella and Ally have changed my piece of shit absent father.

He’s suddenly all about family. He’s even gone as far as to leave his career in hotel development and start Forever Families with Amabella—a non-profit for families in need.

This new blended version of the Blackwood family is to be the face of Forever Families.

We’re supposed to show off how united we are.

What a fucking joke.

But I’ll play along and pretend there’s no issues between me and my father.

I need him to believe Westbridge reformed me so he’ll stay out of my business.

He’s proud of the sensible life choices I’ve started making.

Namely, the cocktail lounge I’m about to open.

He has no clue the venue is a facade for the illegal speakeasy that will live beneath it.

Leaving the engagement party and its guests behind, I step out to the balcony for fresh air, resting my forearms on the railing. It’s quiet out here, all but for the sounds of traffic twenty stories below us.

You are my favorite secret, Felix Blackwood, Harper’s voice replays in my mind.

Felix, you see the real me. I struggled to see the real you for a long time, but I see it now.

You belong to me for life.

Each of those memories are from some of the most meaningful moments of my life.

That last one… Fuck. The memory hurts. I gaze down at the scar on my left palm, reliving the day Harper gave it to me as kids.

It was her way of claiming ownership of me.

Both of her hands were bleeding from touching broken glass, sure to leave scars.

She cut Tyler’s palm too so all three of us would match forever.

I think about that day every time I see the scar. It’s agony, reminding me of everything I’ve lost.

“Felix.”

My muscles stiffen with nerves, hearing Harper speak my name behind me. I should have known I wouldn’t escape her on this balcony. She’s smiling; I can hear it in her tone. Her voice is a little breathless but filled with hope.

Bracing myself, I face Harper, tucking one hand in my suit pocket to stop myself from touching her, because my god, she’s breathtaking this close up.

The girl is beautifully delicate with luscious red hair I’m craving to touch.

My other hand wraps around my champagne glass, my grip so tight I’m at risk of shattering it.

Harper’s pale cheeks are flushed. She’s nervous yet excited. Her breasts swell with each rapid inhale. When she licks her pretty lips, my attention is drawn straight to her mouth. I could kiss her if I wanted. I could do anything to Harper and she’d let me, but I have no intention of touching her.

I almost speak the thought aloud, wanting to put Harper in her place, showing her she means nothing to me. Lashing out is something I would have done in the past when we were young and angry at each other.

“Congratulations, Harper.” Though it’s difficult, I take the mature approach, keeping a level tone. “I hear you’re a company dancer.”

I genuinely mean what I say. She’s worked hard her entire life. Being a professional ballerina has always been her dream. But this polite conversation feels wrong. I can’t wrap my head around how someone I knew so intimately is now a stranger.

“Thank you. I’m really happy to see you. Felix—”

“I also see there’s no wedding ring. No baby. Whatever happened, I’m sorry.”

Her smile fades. “I lost the baby right after I broke up with you. I put an end to the engagement because everything felt wrong. I’ve been trying to contact you for months.

I know you don’t want to talk, but I need you to hear me.

I made a mistake. The biggest mistake of my life.

I love you and I need you. I don’t deserve you but I’m begging you to forgive me—”

“Don’t.” I glare at her, trying to remain calm all while my heart races with frustration. “You made your choice. It wasn’t me.”

She steps closer, pleading. “People make mistakes. Think about our history. You belong to me for life.”

“Don’t pull that shit on me, Harper. I did belong to you. Not anymore. I don’t love you.”

Her lower lip trembles but she shakes her head, refusing to believe me. “You don’t mean that. We’ll be together again. You, me, and Tyler, as we’re supposed to be—”