Chapter 12 Tyler
CHAPTER TWELVE
TYLER
“Tyler, it’s me. Can we talk?” Harper knocks on my bedroom door, her voice soft, trying not to wake anyone.
The house is quiet the morning after the engagement party. Everyone is sleeping late while staff are busy in the garden, packing down from last night. I finish buttoning my shirt and call for Harper to enter.
“Hey.” Harper greets me with a reserved smile, closing the door behind herself. She looks tired and is wearing the same emerald dress from the party.
“I didn’t see you again after our dance. You’re wearing the same dress. I assume things went well with Felix.”
Her gaze drops for a second then flicks back up nervously. “Not exactly. We spoke. We fought. Then he left. I was up all night, alone and deep in thought. I went searching for him this morning, but your dad told me he’s returned to the city.”
Her shoulders rise with tension. Something isn’t right. She’s fought with Felix before. Each time, she leaves frustrated, not nervous.
My fingers find hers. “Harp, are you okay?”
“I’m… fine.” She pulls her hand free and looks at the bed, at my open suitcase. Something is definitely wrong. “Are you heading home to L.A.?”
She’s deflecting, avoiding whatever the real issue is here. The phrasing of her question hurts, even though I know she didn’t mean anything by it.
“My home is with you, Harper. Not in L.A.”
Her throat bobs. My answer seems to make her more nervous.
“I’ve canceled my flight. I’m going to hang around for a bit and spend time with the family. I’ll sort out my own living arrangements. Our apartment is still your space.”
Her head cocks with surprise. Even delight. “You’re not rushing off to work?”
“No. I’m taking extended leave.”
“You are taking time off work? I never thought I’d see the day.”
“I told you, I’m taking our time apart seriously. I’ve cut back on work hours but it’s still eating into all my energy. Work isn’t important to me. You are. So are my siblings and I barely have a relationship with any of them.”
She smiles. “I’m glad to hear you talking like this.”
I step closer, caressing her cheek. “I’m sorry I’ve been so consumed with work and that I’ve never been able to let go of my fears about Paul’s death resurfacing.
I’m going to do better by you. I’m going to spend this time figuring out how to reconnect with Felix.
It’s the only way I can see the three of us returning to what we once shared. ”
Her face pales and her eyebrows draw tight.
“Something is upsetting you, Harp. Don’t deny it. I know how to read you. Tell me what’s wrong.”
She lowers my hand from her cheek and looks directly into my eyes. “Felix gave me an ultimatum.”
My chest sinks. I already know what the next words out of her mouth will be and I hate them.
“He wants to be with me again, but… only if I cut ties with you.”
A foul taste coats my mouth. Felix is important to me, and yet there’s no denying he can be a real fucking asshole.
When someone wrongs him, it takes something momentous for him to accept them back into his life.
As teenagers, he spent years being angry with Harper.
It wasn’t until her mother died that his walls softened with her.
Even then, he struggled to tell Harper he loved her.
What the fuck is Felix going to require of me?
“Of course those are his terms,” I groan. “He knows how much you mean to me. This is revenge. He wants to make me suffer. He wants to steal you from me the way he thinks I stole you from him.”
“Tyler, no. I don’t think it’s like that for Felix. He wasn’t acting smug or triumphant when he said any of this. He was hurt. He’s trying to protect what’s left of himself. He said you’ve caused him more heartache than I ever have. He won’t admit it, but he misses you.”
I pace the room, rubbing my jaw with irritation. “He doesn’t miss me. He despises me. I’m so fucking sick of him hating me when all I ever tried to do was protect him.”
Something else comes to mind—the real issue here. My feet stop and I swallow hard, cautious as I observe Harper. “How did you answer his ultimatum?”
She holds my gaze. The slight delay in her response is all the answer I need. “I told him I need time to make a decision.”
“But you’ve made your decision, Harper, haven’t you? I can see it on your face. You’re choosing him.”
“Tyler… I…” She’s tongue-tied and takes a deep breath to gather herself. “You and I broke up because we weren’t working—”
“We’re taking a break to make our relationship stronger. The intention was we’d always find our way back to each other.”
“I know that was the plan.”
“Was the plan?” My voice rises and my chest heaves with frustration. “All that talk about soul mates last night, it was corny but it was the truth. It’s you and me, always, Harper. After everything we’ve been through, how can you turn your back on us?”
“That’s not what I’m doing.”
She steps up to me, pressing her body flush against mine. Her hands are on my jaw. Her touch is gentle as she brings us face to face. When she speaks, her tone is soft. There’s even a trace of hopefulness within her.
“We’ve been apologizing to Felix and begging him to take us back,” she says.
“Nothing we’ve tried with him has worked.
I think this could be the right move. Our entire lives, you and I have been a pair.
That’s the issue here. I’ve realized fixing our relationship with Felix isn’t something we can do together.
Only I can fix my relationship with him.
Only you can fix your relationship with him.
Only then is there any possibility that the three of us can work.
That’s why I’m choosing Felix. I’m going to be with him and only him.
I’m taking a leap of faith and believing that somewhere down the track the three of us will be together again. ”
“And if he never forgives me? You’re happy to be his forever? Only his?”
She lowers her hands from my face and steps back. “Tyler… Don’t make this more difficult. You and I had our chance and it hasn’t worked.”
My pulse thumps so fast I can feel it. A painful realization hits me, knowing deep down she’s right, even if I don’t want to accept it.
Letting go of Harper, letting her live her life and be happy with Felix is the only way I can see a future for the three of us.
All I’ve ever wanted was for her to be happy. For them to both be happy.
“I have hope for the three of us, Tyler.”
I shake my head and whisper, “No. Don’t have hope.”
“I don’t understand. Why—”
“I love you so much, Harper. More than you’ll ever know.
” My voice trembles. I curl a lock of her hair around my finger, taking every chance I can to touch her.
“I’ve always wanted the best for you. I wish I could keep you wrapped in my arms forever, but my love for you has never been selfish.
When you truly love someone, you never hold them back.
You let them go and hope they flourish, even if parting ways hurts. ”
A tear falls down her cheek. I wipe it away with my thumb. This moment feels like we’re breaking up all over again. Except it’s worse this time because there’s no security of us only being on a break. But I won’t let myself crumble.
“This is me letting you go, Harper. You have my blessing to be with Felix and there’ll be no ill feelings on my behalf. Be happy with Felix. Be his and only his. There is no you and me anymore.”
“Tyler…”
“It’s what I want. Both of us have been so unhappy without Felix in our lives.”
No sooner than I say the words, I realize this isn’t just about wanting Harper to be happy. I want Felix to heal from the disaster that spiraled from Paul Ferguson’s death. But this decision is about what I need too. I need Felix as my brother again. I need him as a friend.
“I’ll always have hope that you join us—”
“Don’t hold onto hope, Harper. Don’t wait for me. You need to start your life with Felix.”
My lips press to Harper’s. It’s not a heated kiss, but soft and aching. A goodbye.
I taste salt, her tears or mine, I don’t know. When we pull apart, something inside me splinters but doesn’t break—because I do have hope.
This won’t be our final kiss but she can’t know this. Harper needs to belong purely to Felix before there’s any chance of us sharing her again.
I will fix this mess. I don’t know how I’m going to mend my relationship with Felix, but I’ll make it happen even if it’s the last thing I ever do.