Chapter 7 Elias
CHAPTER SEVEN
ELIAS
After tossing and turning on the couch for hours, sleep still evades me. Sitting up, I push my hands through my hair and rest my elbows on my knees.
It’s been three days since we arrived, but I’m still thinking about my reunion with Wren. I stupidly thought she’d be so happy to see me that she would hug me and tell me how much she’s missed me. That she’d want to spend every waking second with me.
Reaching into my sweatpants pocket, I pull out the small box and open it up. I let out a sigh as I look at the sparkling ring.
I’m such a fool.
Of course, she didn’t see me like that. We’d been best friends, but I’d never crossed that line with her.
But it was only because Robert had threatened me not to touch her when we were twelve, saying she was too young.
I thought he was just being protective. I was never left alone with her after that to tell her how I really felt that I saw her as more than a friend. Much more.
Somehow, I forgot to factor in two very important things: that she thought I abandoned her seven years ago and the four men she’s unexpectedly become attached to.
I don’t know why I was so blind to it; I saw her practically swooning over their letters.
I should have guessed she’d grown emotionally attached to them; she always did have such a big heart.
But four convicted murderers? They might be innocent of their convictions, but they weren’t innocent. I’ve never had to kill someone, but if the FBI hadn’t found me, there’s a chance I would have ended up in a similar situation to theirs.
Before they recruited me, I had been working on a plan to get Wren out of there, and I would have been okay killing anyone who got in my way.
But my skills weren’t what they are now, thanks to my training at the bureau.
Now, I’m much better equipped to help her, both with my fighting abilities and my computer skills.
I just wish it were only her and me doing this together, that it was me she was cuddling up to at night or in the car, instead of them.
I’m not sure what I expected, that they’d be happy to pass her over to me and go on their merry way?
I stupidly convinced myself they saw her as a little sister.
I should have known they’d become obsessed with her.
She is kind, caring, beautiful… perfect.
It’s taken me three days, but I’ve finally cracked the code on getting us into a safe house undetected. The others were already asleep when I realized I’d done it tonight. But now I have to figure out how to get to Robert. With him alive, Wren is always going to be in danger.
I’ve been watching him for years, and when I saw his reaction on the cameras to her going missing, I knew he wouldn’t let her get away. Even if she was no longer the woman he’d groomed her to become, he wasn’t about to just let his favorite asset walk out the door unscathed.
He’d rather see her imprisoned in his home than let her roam free.
When I checked Robert’s location a few hours ago, he was heading North. I know he has connections in Montana, so I’m assuming that’s where he’s heading. We’re going to have to follow him. Making our move when he’s away from his home in Arizona is our best chance at getting to him.
Going on such a long road trip and being stuck in the SUV with those four idiots and being able to do nothing but watch as Wren showers them with affection is going to fucking suck.
But I’d do anything for her, even if that meant when this was all over, she walked away with them, and not me.
At least she’d be free and safe from her brother. She’d be safe with them.
Hearing small footsteps, I snap the box shut, shoving it in my pocket as I turn to look over the back of the couch.
“Wren?” I see her rubbing sleep from her eyes as she stops in the middle of the room.
“Elias? Did I wake you?”
I shake my head and beckon her over to sit with me. “No, I couldn’t sleep. What are you doing up?”
“I’m thirsty.” I quickly move to the mini-fridge and pull out a bottle of water, eager to do something for her.
I pass it over, and her fingers brush mine, making my heartbeat quicken like some love-struck teenager. But that’s what it was always like with her. “Thank you,” she whispers before taking a sip. She eyes the rumpled blanket and pillow on the couch and frowns.
“I’m sorry you have to sleep on the couch, and not in a real bed.”
“I don’t mind,” I say with a shrug. “Besides, we won’t be here much longer, Robert’s moving North.”
She looks at me in surprise before she visibly shudders. I grip her shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze as I give her a strained smile. “It’ll be okay, Wren. I promise, I’ll do whatever it takes to get rid of him.”
Her brows pinch. “That’s what I’m worried about. I don’t want you, any of you, to get hurt. What if the cost of my freedom is one of you? I couldn’t live with myself if that happened.”
I see her eyes start to fill with tears and swear. Fuck. Instead of consoling her, I’m making her more upset.
“I promise I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you and your four… boyfriends… don’t get hurt.”
Her eyes search mine as she blinks rapidly, clearly trying to get control over her tears. She was always so strong. She had to be, growing up with her brother the way he was.
“Why would you promise that? I thought you hated them?” she asks in confusion.
“But I lo—care about you,” I say, almost accidentally confessing how I really feel. “And you care about them. Therefore, they fall into my bubble of protection.”
That finally makes a small smile pull at her lips. “You‘ve changed since we were teenagers.”
“In a good way, I hope?” I ask, wondering if she finally sees me less as the boy next door and more as the man motivated to keep her safe.
She nods slowly, her eyes tracing over my face and chest. I’m wearing a white tank top, leaving my shoulders and arms bare. I hope she likes what she sees. FBI training definitely helped fill me out.
“Yes, in a good way. You’re more open now.”
“Really?” It feels like I’m holding back so much from her right now. If she knew the extent of my feelings, it would probably trigger another panic attack.
“Well, we haven’t really had any time to talk alone since you came back. But when we were younger, it felt like I was always carrying the conversations, like you were holding back.”
“I was. God, Wren.” I brush my hand through my hair and blow out a deep breath.
“You have no idea how much I was holding back before. I wanted to tell you everything. That what your brother was doing wasn’t normal, that there was something fishy about him.
I’m so sorry I didn’t get you out of there sooner. ”
She shrugs, her eyes moving to stare out the window as if she’s remembering something in the past. “That’s okay. It’s not like he was hurting me.”
I squeeze her shoulder in comfort as I tell her the truth. “I don’t think that’s true. He was doing a lot of damage to you, sweetheart. Just because he didn’t leave any marks on your skin doesn’t mean he didn’t leave any on the inside.”
Her brows pinch in pain as she looks up at me. “The guys said something similar.”
I nod, remembering how Sly had thrown that at me. I was surprised they were smart enough not only to know that, but also to understand the damage Robert’s done.
“That’s right. You must have shared a lot with them,” I say, trying not to be jealous of their connection to her.
“They were all I had, Elias. You left, and I had no one for years. Then, when I accidentally wrote to them, and they replied, it felt like someone actually cared again. Someone I could be myself with.”
“I never stopped caring,” I whisper.
“I know that now, but I didn’t then.”
I knew she had felt abandoned by me. It had been eating at me for seven goddamn years as I sat behind a monitor and watched her be miserable.
I begged to get her out of there on multiple occasions, but my superiors kept telling me that as long as she wasn’t being physically abused, they couldn’t risk it.
We’re silent as we sit there staring at each other.
I’m unsure what she’s thinking, but I’m just thinking about all the time we lost while I listened to the feds, holding back, and for what?
Robert and Ivan were still out there. If they were going to mess up, they would have done it by now. They were too smart to get caught.
“Did you think about me at all?” I ask, desperate to know that she still cares, even a little.
“Elias, I—” She cuts herself off, swallowing heavily. “I thought about you every day. I missed you so much.”
I can’t help but pull her to me, engulfing her in my embrace, and thankfully, she does the same, her little arms wrapping around my waist as she rests her cheek against my chest.
“I missed you so fucking much, sweetheart.”
“Thank you for saving me, for saving us,” she whispers against my chest. “I should have said it sooner. I have no excuse, but it took me some time to process everything you said. I thought you were gone from my life forever, and to know you’ve been watching me this whole time…”
I squeeze her a little tighter, hoping that part didn’t scare her off completely.
“It was a lot to wrap my mind around. But I need you to know how much I appreciate you looking out for me, even when I didn’t know you were doing it. You’ve been looking out for me my whole life, and I’ve done nothing for you. I don’t even know why you’re here.”
“Sweetheart…” I say, pulling back and holding her at arm's length so I can look into those beautiful blue eyes. “Relationships aren’t about what you can do for one another. It’s about how you make each other feel.”
“And how do I make you feel?” Swallowing the lump in my throat, I realize I’ve put my foot in my mouth.
If I admit how much I care, how I truly feel about her, and what is currently burning a hole in my pocket, it’s sure to send her spiraling.
So instead, I opt to tell her the truth without admitting too much.
“You make me feel seen, feel special. Even at school, none of my friends ever cared about me the way you did. Being with you is like basking in the sun, a warm caress that constantly leaves me wanting more.”
She looks stunned as she asks, “That’s really how you feel?”
I just nod, and she leans back in to hug me.
I hold her tight to my chest, swaying her back and forth, afraid that when we part, I’ll never get to hold her like this again. I firmly kiss the side of her head, then squeeze her even tighter, reveling in the fact that I’m finally holding her in my arms.
Even if it is just the reunion of two friends, I’ll take whatever I can get.
One thing’s for sure. After feeling her embrace, knowing what it’s like to hold her, there’s no way I’m going to give her up to them without a fight.
The problem is convincing her of that, while the other four are constantly stealing her attention and keeping her away from me. Not to mention that I fear bringing it up will cause her to have another anxiety attack. That’s something I’m determined never to cause again.
If she just wants me as a friend, I can do that… for now.
But I’m more determined than ever to prove that I’m worthy of her, that I can be so much more, if she’ll just let me in.