Chapter 18
CHAPTER 18
Jackson unloaded the groceries and helped me put them away. We worked in silence together. He seemed untouchable which further added to my mounting insecurities. My nerves felt so tight I almost couldn’t take it. I was a rubber band that was about to snap.
“What are you doing right now?” Jackson’s question broke through my thoughts.
I shrugged. I looked around the place. Boxes were still stacked everywhere. What I wanted to do was crawl into bed and not come out.
“Why don’t you start unpacking the bedroom?” he said. “I’ll work on stuff down here.”
I wanted to talk to him, but the words eluded me. Instead, I trudged upstairs and began to unpack. I made short work of my boxes of clothes and started on Jackson’s boxes. It felt weird to be hanging our stuff together in the same closet. It felt like we were two strangers playing house.
I could not stop replaying the scene at the grocery store. I had never seen Jackson react like that. For the thousandth time, I questioned my sanity for being here .
I started loading his socks into a drawer and stopped short when I noticed the little blue Tiffany bag. Inside I found a Tiffany ring box and a receipt. I stood there for a long moment holding it in my hand. I knew that I should just put it away, but I needed to know when he had bought it. Without looking at the price, I peeked at the corner of the receipt and noted the date.
Jackson had bought this ring just after Christmas. December 28th to be exact. This was Harper’s engagement ring. Heart in my throat, I was unable to stop myself from opening the box. It was a magnificent ring. It sparkled and glittered in the light. It suited her perfectly. This ring would have been beautiful on her hand. Here was more proof of how Alien and I had wholly derailed Jackson’s future.
I sat on the bed and stared at the ring. Had Jackson been excited when he bought this ring? Had he planned some romantic proposal? He had told her to be patient with him. She had been. This was the proof that he had meant to honor those intentions. Instead, I had gotten in the way.
“You want me to break down the boxes for you?” Jackson’s voice sounded from the doorway.
I looked up at him, my eyes wide. His gaze dropped to the ring box in my hand. His jaw tightened.
I resisted the urge to apologize for intruding on his privacy. He had asked me to unpack his boxes. I was his wife, and I had just found an engagement ring for another woman amongst his stuff. I wasn’t entirely sure under the circumstances he owed me an apology, but I wasn’t going to say sorry either.
“It’s a beautiful ring,” I said, snapping the lid closed. “It suits her.”
His cheekbones became more pronounced as he sucked his cheeks in. He studied the floor between us. Green eyes finally raised up to meet mine.
He finally spoke. “I hadn’t given it to her yet.”
“You bought it. ”
“We broke up before I left for New York.”
“I’m pretty certain you would have gotten back together.”
“I married you, not her.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I lied.
He put his hands on his hips. “You can’t just say that.”
“Say what?”
“Say that it doesn’t matter.”
What did he expect from me? Of course, it mattered.
“You want to hear that it matters?” I raised my eyebrows at him and nodded, feeling my anger pulse and grow inside of me. “You want the truth?”
“I always want the truth.”
I could not stop the flow of words that streamed from my mouth. “Well, how about this? When a man buys a ring for a woman, it means something. Even if he hasn’t given it to her yet. I get it. I get it.”
“What do you get?”
My chest was rising and falling. “You chose her. You came back to Virginia, and you chose her. You told her you were coming back to her. And you told me to marry Matt.”
He put his hands on his hips and blinked a few times.
“What I don’t understand is why you were so determined to marry me when it's so obvious that you love her. She loves you, you love her, and I’m here in the way. You manned up with all that navy SEAL honor, and you got stuck with me.”
I could not cry in front of this man again. I put the ring on the bed and walked into the bathroom and then shut and locked the door.
“Emily,” he sounded pissed.
I sat on the edge of the tub and put my face in a towel to muffle my sniffles.
I heard the door handle rattle.
“Go away.”
“You can’t just walk away in the middle of our conversation.”
“I was done talking.”
“I wasn’t. ”
I lifted my head from my towel. “I need some alone time.”
Silence for a long moment and then I heard footsteps pound down the stairs. The front door slammed. I walked out to the bedroom window and watched as his black truck roared down the road.
I felt bewildered as I looked around the room. I had no idea how to handle myself in this situation. What did he want from me? Nothing he was doing made sense.
Resigned, I dumped one last box of clothes onto the bed, stopping short when I found a large manila envelope at the bottom of the box. I lifted it up and examined it.
In writing that I didn’t recognize, Jackson’s name was scrawled on the front. The envelope was bulky and opened. Without even thinking, I peeked inside. There were some papers and a flat journal. I chewed on my lip, knowing that I was crossing a multitude of boundaries here. I slid out the book and examined the cover. It was a flat black leather journal. It looked really old with weathered yellow pages.
I flipped open the cover. “Journal of Harry Jarvais.”
Harry Jarvais was Matt’s dad. Why did Jackson have Harry’s journal? Wouldn’t that be something that Matt should have, not Jackson? I looked at the cover of the envelope. Jackson’s name was written in the same handwriting. So Harry had given this book to Jackson? Why would he have done that?
Without thinking, I flipped to the next page.