Chapter 8
CHAPTER 8
“I'm home,” Matt announced his arrival. I looked up from the stove. Matt walked across the loft, into the kitchen and kissed me hard on the lips.
“Something smells amazing in here.”
Jackson appeared at the top of the stairs. Matt stood back, and the two men stared at each other. Jackson lightly jogged down the stairs.
“Buddy, it’s been a long time,” Matt said, grinning, even though his voice sounded strained.
“Too long.”
“How long has it been?”
Jackson glanced at me. “Dan’s wedding?”
Matt frowned with a smile. “Can’t be. That wedding was over four years ago.”
Jackson shrugged. “Good to see you.”
They shook hands and continued to stare at each other.
“Likewise.” Matt nodded, his grin wide. Too wide. “Shit man. You’re a brick shit house. What the hell are they feeding you in the navy anyway?”
“Nothing good. ”
They both had variations of smiles on their faces. The air crackled with unexplained tension.
“Have you tried any of Emily’s cooking yet?”
Jackson’s gaze, wide and green, trapped mine. “She can cook.”
I flushed.
Matt stepped back and pointed at Jackson. “I'm just going to change. Grab some beers.”
He pounded up the stairs and then his bedroom door shut.
The silence settled between us. He stood on the other side of the island studying me.
I walked to the fridge and set two cans of beer on the island between us. I took a deep breath. “Well, Matt’s finally home.”
“Yes.”
I couldn’t quite decipher the energy he was giving off. If I wasn’t mistaken, he was even more on guard than when it was just the two of us.
“Matt said that you used to live together.”
He cracked open a beer. “I used to live with Matt’s family.”
I held my breath. “Matt just mentioned that to me today, but he didn’t say why.”
Green eyes held my gaze with intense honesty. “Matt’s dad used to arrest Ted for being drunk and disorderly. And more often than not, I ended up at Matt’s house.”
My eyes widened. “Oh.”
He picked up his beer and took a long drink.
I hesitated over my question. “Ted is your dad?”
“Ted is the man I lived with after my mom died.”
Questions flowed through my mind. When did Jackson's mom die? How old was Jackson when she passed on? Who was Ted? Did Ted have legal guardianship over Jackson? If he wasn’t Jackson’s birth father, then who was? I stood there looking up at him unsure what to ask next.
He swallowed and pinned me with his gaze. “It was a long time ago. ”
His tone said the conversation was over. I stood there and watched him take another sip of his beer while I tried to keep the sympathy from showing on my face. I had a feeling that Jackson didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for him.
Matt pounded down the stairs. Words flowed from him before he even hit the bottom step. He grabbed his beer, tasted something from the stove, kissed my neck and checked his phone. I secretly referred to Matt as a tornado in a bottle. His energy was explosive. He never slowed down. I watched as he fired questions at Jackson, talked about work and scrolled through his phone to show Jackson something. Matt moved a hundred miles a minute. Jackson revealed his intensity through his quiet demeanor and his stoic strength. Matt noticed nothing and Jackson observed everything.
“Time to eat,” I said, carrying the last of the food to the table.
They communicated like old friends, but their differences were stark. Matt talked nonstop. Jackson listened more than he spoke. Matt looked short and lanky. Jackson appeared to have DNA from some mythical Adonis. Matt appeared younger with his combed-back blond hair and a clean-shaven face. Jackson’s overgrown hair and stubble added years, giving him the appearance of being older. I needed to stop comparing these two men. I disliked where my thoughts were going.
I abruptly stood up. Both men glanced up at me.
Matt gave me a smirk. “You okay?”
I looked down at my plate. It was still half full. “Yes.”
“You’re as nervous as a cat,” he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me back down. “Relax.”
I sat down and picked up my fork. They continued to talk. It was hard to believe these two guys had grown up together. What was the story? I was dying to get Matt alone so that I could pump him for information .
Finally, they were done eating.
I shot up again and started to pick up their plates.
“I'll do dishes.” Jackson’s voice was low.
No. That was a bad idea. I needed some space. To think and clear my head. “Don’t even think about it. You two should sit outside. It is a beautiful night.”
Matt stood up. “That’s a great idea.”
I carried plates into the kitchen. Matt followed me and grabbed a beer out of the fridge. “Great dinner, babe.”
I smiled, looking up at his face. Matt ignored my expression and walked out to the patio. Matt’s brush off made me flush. Jackson observed all from where he sat.
I wiped my hands on my skirt. “Would you like another beer?”
“No thanks.”
“When he hits five beers, shut him down. The last time he had six beers, he tried to take off his shirt at a work party.”
He smiled a smile that I felt down in my toes. “Still a lightweight?”
Seriously. This man needed to stop smiling at me. “Still a lightweight.”
“Come join us. I can do the dishes later.”
Who was this man? I decided that him being in the kitchen with me was more than a bad idea. I shook my head. “I think you two need man time.”
“What exactly is man time?”
“When you talk about women and sports and other secret topics that women don’t know about.”
His eyebrows moved up in amusement, but he obeyed and followed Matt onto the patio.
I washed the dishes, unable to stop myself from looking outside. Matt moved up and down from his chair. He regaled big stories with big gestures. I recognized this Matt. He wanted to impress. Jackson reclined in his chair, his long legs crossed in front of him, playing audience to Matt. As if sensing my gaze, Jackson turned his head and looked directly at me. I flushed and spun around, embarrassed that he caught me staring. Still, I lingered. I wiped a counter that was already clean. I swept a floor that had no crumbs. I wanted to walk out onto that patio, but I held myself back.
Enough. I needed to stop. Since he had arrived, Jackson had pushed his way into my thoughts far more than was acceptable. Yes, he was stupidly hot and extremely manly with his big muscles and broad shoulders, but it wasn’t even that. It was the way he talked to me. When I spoke, he listened. He paid attention. He encouraged me.
Matt had become so busy at work and was so absent. It was normal to feel flattered that someone was noticing me as a human being. Right? Matt and I had a great relationship. Everyone said so. When we first started dating, he had been so attentive and fun. So life had gotten in the way a bit. He was rarely around. He seemed to work all the time. And did I need him hanging off my every word? That wasn’t a realistic expectation of a relationship, was it?
I loved Matt. He was everything I needed. He had a respectable job. He enjoyed some of the same things I did. We rarely fought. Did it matter that sometimes it seemed like we were two roommates leading different lives? Things would become different after we got married. Matt was going to be my husband. And we would have a wonderful marriage. I had everything I wanted and needed right here.
It was irresponsible to get distracted by this intense stranger who stared at me with those knowing green eyes. Just because he talked to me and seemed to see me, didn’t mean anything. That was just who he was. He was an intense person. You couldn’t misread someone’s intensity as interest. So, maybe he made my stomach flutter a bit. Anyone who still had a pulse would get a fluttery stomach around him. I was mature, and I could admit that he was attractive. So what if he made me a bit nervous when he was around. That was normal. He would make anyone nervous.
But that didn’t mean I needed to read into anything. I wasn’t a college student anymore that daydreamed about hot men. I was the fiancée of a lawyer. And now, I just needed to refocus my energy on the wedding and Matt. Without looking back, I forced myself to climb the steps to my room.
To try and get my mind off everything, I forced myself to read in bed. A soft tap sounded on my door. Matt poked his head in, giving me a grin.
“You look snug.”
“Hey.”
“How are you?” He sat down at the end of my bed.
“Good. Glad you got home for dinner.”
“Thanks for making Jackson feel so welcome.”
I blinked, remembering the golf club incident. “Are you joking?”
“He told me you bought the bed and fixed up his room. That was nice of you.”
My lips parted. I marveled that Jackson had not told Matt about the warm welcome he received when he showed up. “Any friend of yours is welcome.”
Matt studied me. “Are you sure?”
“He can stay here as long as he wants.” I lied. The sooner the man left, the better. I decided that maybe Matt having asshole friends was far preferable to nice attractive ones.
“Has Jackson told you what treatment he’s getting at the hospital?”
I shook my head.
“Me neither.”
We stared at each other. Didn’t Matt think it was weird that he had invited someone into our home that he barely seemed to know anymore? A man who apparently wasn’t entirely comfortable here and who made Matt feel the same way. The whole situation baffled me.
“Is everything okay between you and Jackson?”
He shrugged. I expected him to blow off my question. It threw me when he was honest. “Things have been pretty shit between Jackson and me since my dad passed away.”
“I'm still really confused as to how Jackson became part of your life.”
His eyes slid up to my face before shifting away. “One day, I woke up and Jackson was sleeping in my top bunk. He was my dad’s charity case. There’s more to the story, but that’s the gist of it.”
“You’re kidding. How old were you?”
“About seven.”
“And your mom was okay with this?”
“She knew it was important to my dad.”
I blinked at the bitter tone in Matt’s voice.
“I’ve never heard this story,” I said. “Were you friends?”
“Yeah. We used to be good friends.”
Matt was holding back. “How old were you when he stopped staying at your place?”
“He lived on and off with us until he left to join the navy.”
“So he was part of your family for most of your life.”
Matt looked down at his hands. “It was complicated. My dad invited him to be part of the family.”
“Were you okay with it?”
“Sometimes it was fun. Lots of the time, he felt like a brother. He was completely wild.”
“Was he a bad kid?”
“No, he wasn’t a bad kid, but trouble always seemed to find him. I remember one lunch hour, these older kids came over and started to pick on us. There was six or seven of them and the two of us. I was ready to bolt, but Jackson just stood his ground. I took one hit to the face, and I ran screaming to the lunch lady, but he didn’t run. He took them all on. They messed him up so bad he was in the hospital overnight with a bruised kidney, but when the teachers got there to break up the fight, it took two teachers just to subdue him. He was tougher than anyone I knew.”
“Oh, my gosh.”
“A bunch of kids got suspended over that fight, but that’s just who Jackson was. He had no fear. He would take anyone on. He was wild that way.”
“So, what happened?”
“What?” He avoided my gaze.
“Did you guys have a falling out?”
His shoulders twitched. “We’re just really different.”
There was way more to this than Matt was letting on. “Does your mom still keep in touch with him?”
Matt looked at me sharply. “Wow, someone is interested.”
My eyes widened. “This guy grew up with you, and I have never even heard about him. Of course, I'm curious.”
“It isn’t a big deal.”
“Okay.”
He cleared his throat. “Can you keep your eye on him for me?”
“What?”
“I had to twist his arm to stay here, but you know what my work schedule is like. We need time to work on some stuff.”
“Having me keep my eye on him isn’t going to fix your past with him.”
“I know, but I need you to buy me some time. I don’t want him to take off.”
I studied the chipped clear polish on my nails. “I don’t think I'm the one that Jackson wants to hang out with.”
“Getting him to fix your car was a brilliant idea.”
“I didn’t ask him to do that.”
“I know, but maybe ask him for help on things. Make him feel useful. ”
That felt manipulative. “Matt, no. Jackson seems like a great guy, but I'm not going to impose on him.”
“At least spend some time with him.”
“We have nothing in common. Forcing him to hang out with me might drive him out of here quicker than if I just left him alone.”
“Please. It means a lot to me. Keep him busy.”
“Matt, you need to come home for dinner more. More than once a week. I get the sense that if Jackson feels like you're blowing him off, nothing will get him to stay.”
“You’re right. I'll try. Honest.”
We eyeballed each other. The cosmos laughed at my expense. I wanted to avoid Jackson, not spend more time with him. I needed to be more careful. Schoolgirl fantasies aside, flirting with anything Jackson was just a terrible idea.
“Where is he now?”
“I think he’s downstairs working on your car.”
I nodded.
“Hey, did you see that he moved that tire?”
“I noticed.”
He leaned forward, his eyes wide. “Tell me the truth. Did he use his truck to move that thing?”
The lie rolled off my tongue. “I have no idea.”
“I guarantee he used his truck.”