Chapter 13
CHAPTER 13
Two hours later, I stood in my version of hell. Music blasted, people talked and laughed. I was just a girl, standing alone, at her party. I sipped my wine. I sighed and looked down at my ring. I thought one benefit of getting engaged and married was so that you had the plus one who gave a fuck about you at parties. My throat tightened as I remembered the throaty female voice that answered his phone. I forced myself to not think about that.
Four women surrounded Jackson. Julie trailed one hand up Jackson’s arm and then laughed as she squeezed his bicep. I gulped more wine. My University days flashed in front of my eyes. Friends tripped over themselves to capture Jackson’s attention. I predicted that Julie would win. I already envisioned Jackson tugging Julie’s hand as he discretely led her upstairs to his room.
Julie waved at me. “Em, come over here.”
With great reluctance, I fixed a smile on my lips and walked over.
Julie studied me. “Wow, your lips look fantastic.”
I swallowed and avoided looking in Jackson’s direction. “Thanks. ”
“My lips would look that good if I also could afford $40 lipstick,” she looked around the group. “But not all of us got so lucky in life.”
“Five dollar lipstick from Walgreens.” I kept my voice light.
“So we were just bugging Jackson about his workouts.” Julie changed the subject.
“Oh.”
“He won’t tell us about the crazy things he does. He says that he just works out like everyone else.”
I stared at her. What was she even talking about? This had to be the most inane conversation I have ever walked into. I took a big sip of my wine.
I evaded making direct eye contact with Jackson.
“Are you going to tell us?” Julie urged. I looked at her. Her eyes burned bright, giving her a somewhat alarming look. She loved the conquest. This persona appeared when you mixed Julie, a hot man, wine and some female competition. No one liked this side of her, mostly because she became a tiny bit scary.
“Tell you what?”
“Tell us about Jackson’s workouts. We need to know how he created such a perfect hard body.”
A few other women nodded and leaned in. This entire conversation mortified me. Is this how people flirted? It pained me even to listen. Jackson stared at me without expression.
“I apologize for my friends,” I said to him. “They’re acting like they just broke out of a nunnery.”
Jackson looked away. He struggled not to laugh.
Julie’s laughter peeled so loud; she almost blew out my eardrum. “Maybe we just haven’t met someone of Jackson’s caliber.”
I hadn’t realized that Jackson’s party experience might be worse than my own.
Beth squeezed my arm. “Do you mind lending me that soup cookbook you were telling me about?”
I breathed a huge sigh of relief. That was our code for we needed to talk. “Absolutely. Come with me. ”
We walked away from the group.
Beth leaned into my ear. “Julie’s acting crazy tonight. She’s barking way out of her league.”
I sniffed. “She doesn’t seem to think so.”
“He’s being nice about the fact that she is trying to molest him without ever giving her a single shred of hope that he’s interested.”
I looked across the room. Jackson listened politely to someone talk. “He’s a nice person.”
“You didn’t lie. I'm confident that he’s about a thousand times hotter than the hockey player.”
I took a deep breath. “Ever since he arrived, Matt has been missing in action.”
“Why?”
“I have no idea. Meanwhile, I'm trying to plan this wedding and Matt is no help. Jackson is a great houseguest but I just…”
Beth’s gaze focused on mine. “I get it.”
“You do?”
“You’re living with a GQ model, and your fiancé has fucked off. Shit gets complicated.”
My breath gusted out of me. “I love Matt, but I feel like I haven’t seen him, much less talked to him in weeks.” I lowered my voice and leaned in. “And Jackson is constantly working out with his shirt off. My car is in pieces, so he's driving me everywhere.”
Beth started to laugh. “And this is a problem why?”
I shook my head. “He listens to me when I talk, and he cares about things like my art and my job.”
Beth gave me a sympathetic smile. “He’s treating you like you wished Matt would treat you.”
“Yes!”
“Where is that dick anyways?”
I hesitated. Wanting to confess that another woman had answered his phone, but knew that it would only make Beth angry. “He canceled. He promised me that he would be here, but he bailed at the last minute. ”
Beth sighed and rubbed my arm. “You do realize you deserve better, right?”
I didn’t want to talk about it.
“It’s not Matt’s fault. He has a crazy job. I just need to get through to the wedding. That’s my goal.”
Beth and I chatted a bit more, and despite my pleading, she had to leave. She had an early brunch with her family, and she didn’t want to show up hung over.
The room felt lonely without her. I glanced around the room. Julie and company were crowding Jackson like a poorly mannered fan club. I stood in the kitchen alone, sipping my third glass of wine. How many parties in my youth had I attended precisely like this? Where my friends were off chasing some guy, and I was left standing, by myself, feeling socially awkward. I looked around the room. It was my party, my place, but no one noticed me. I needed one moment. I needed to clear my head.
I walked upstairs, moved into my bedroom and shut the door. I flopped back onto the bed. The music throbbed from below. Loneliness crashed over me. I sucked in a deep breath. I permitted myself to partake in a three-minute pity party, and then I would head back downstairs.
A soft knock sounded on my door. Before I could answer, Jackson stepped in and shut the door behind him. His size dominated the room. I pushed myself into a sitting position.
“Is everything okay?” my voice sounded raspy.
“I was just about to ask you the same thing.”
I blew the bangs off my forehead. “Just taking a breather.”
“Where’s Matt?”
“Working.”
“Seems like that’s all he does.”
“Agreed.”
He frowned and walked over to sit on the bed beside me. “You sure you’re okay?”
I nodded, trying to swallow the lump from my throat. His care exacerbated my pity party feelings. “I think I was having some University flashbacks.”
His gaze sharpened, but he remained silent.
“I thought I had grown out of standing off to the side and watching my friends flirt with the hottest guy in the room.”
I exhaled and pasted a smile on my face.
“Wait,” he paused, thinking. “Am I the quarterback?”
“Shut up.” My voice was devoid of meaning.
“Em,” his quiet voice sounded sincere. “I bet those University guys were dying to come and talk to you, but they didn’t have the balls.”
I snorted. “Trust me. You had to be there.”
He lifted a hand and brushed a strand of hair off my cheek. “I see you standing off to the side. You're so untouchable to the rest of the world, it hurts.”
I grabbed his thick wrist, and my eyes drifted shut when I felt his thumb gently brush my cheek.
“I bet they constantly thought about kissing you.” His low voice hypnotized me.
I opened my eyes. Green eyes studied my face. His huge hand slide around the back of my neck and then he pulled me close.
My hands fluttered in my lap when his mouth touched mine. He tasted like wine and desire. I moaned, and instantly the kiss deepened. His lips coaxed my mouth, intoxicating me with pleasure. I opened my mouth beneath his while his fingers tangled in my hair. He moved my head, angling it so he could torture my mouth some more with his wicked perfect kiss. My entire body responded. My skin tingled, my body tightened, my heart tumbled. A deep noise rumbled in his chest, and his passion staggered me.
His mouth yanked off mine, and he turned away from me. His breath was harsh. “Oh fuck.”
My body violently trembled. My heart was like a feral bird, fluttering with madness in my chest. I could not believe that I had just kissed Jackson. I was a terrible person. I had just cheated on Matt. Matt, who was working late tonight. I couldn’t even reconcile what had just happened. What had I done?
“I'm sorry,” I bleated.
He tilted his head at me. His look was incredulous. “This was not your fault.”
My eyes were wide. I was still in shock. My body still trembled. Guilt crushed my heart. “It kinda is.”
I watched as he stood up and walked to the door.
I stared at his broad back, wishing my voice wasn’t shaking so hard. “I'm engaged to be married.”
His movements stopped. He faced away from me, but he was listening.
“You need to go downstairs and flirt with someone else. I can’t do that again. I'm a faithful person.”
His body pivoted with control. He looked different. Real emotion moved across his face, a mixture of anger and deep, hot desire.
“Emily.”
“Yes?”
“There is only one other person in this world that I have met that is as good as you. You have no responsibility or guilt here. I kissed you. That was me, taking something that wasn’t mine to take. It’ll never happen again.”
He turned around and walked out of the room.
I think I was in shock. I couldn’t even process what had just happened. I held my fingers to my lips. I had never been kissed like that before in my life. I worked to recall kissing Matt, but my mind was drawing a blank. Who failed to remember what it was like to kiss their fiancé?
I washed my shaking hands and pulled a hairbrush through my hair. I wanted to crawl into bed and not come out. Instead, I took a deep breath and opened my bedroom door .
Standing in the midst of his she-pack, Jackson lifted his eyes and watched as I slowly walked down the stairs. I momentarily fantasized about turning off the music and kicking everyone out, but instead, I walked into the kitchen, found my wine glass and poured myself another generous glass.
His mouth covered mine.
His teeth nipped my bottom lip.
I moaned into his mouth.
Our kiss flashed in my mind on repeat. I felt my face heat up. It was going to be a long night.