Chapter 16
CHAPTER 16
Jackson reappeared at the doorway of my bedroom. He had pulled on sweats, a t-shirt, and a worn baseball cap.
My voice sounded sad. “I barfed on my quilt.”
He walked over to stand beside me. “Just a little bit.”
Tears choked me. “Why isn’t Matt here?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know.”
He reached down to my bed and started stripping the duvet cover off the bed and then removed all the sheets from my bed. I was still a bit drunk. He carried the linen out of the room, and I heard the door of the washing machine slam shut.
He walked back into the room. “Do you think you're going to be sick again?”
“No. Sorry.” I covered my face. “I'm so sorry.”
“Emily.”
I sat on my bed. “Which guys did Matt go with?”
“I don’t know.”
“Did he say when he was going to be back?”
“No.”
“What time is it? ”
“Just after 0400.”
“Don’t you think he should be back by now?”
“I don’t know.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
He crouched in front of me, his concerned face looking up at me. My smile trembled on my lips. “Thanks for your help. I can do the rest. You should go get some sleep.”
“I don’t need much sleep.”
I swallowed. “How come?”
“It’s my job. When we are engaged, sometimes we are up for 48 hours straight.”
“What does engaged mean?”
“When we’re fighting.”
I pulled in a deep, shuddery breath. “Do you have to shoot at people?”
He lifted his hat on and off his head, and then he squinted up at me. “Sometimes.”
“Oh,” I swallowed thinking. “I think your job sounds awful.”
His laugh was short and low. “Do you want to wait downstairs? I'm sure Mattie will be home soon.”
“Okay.”
He stood and offered me a hand. We walked downstairs. I stopped when I was on the second last step. The entire place was spotless. Everything gleamed. Clean wine glasses hung on the wine rack. Everything was in order. It looked like a showroom.
I stared at him. “Did you do this?”
“Come on,” he tugged on my hand. “Let’s get you on the couch.”
I sat, and he grabbed a blanket and pulled it over me. “Lie down.”
I looked up at him. “Will you sit with me?”
He paused for such a long moment, I was sure he would say no, but then he nodded. “Sure.”
He sat on one end, and I lay on the length of the couch, my knees up, and my feet next to his thigh.
He looked over at me. “Do you want some water? ”
I shook my head. “Thanks for sitting with me.”
A smile ghosted across his face. “That’s what friends do.”
I shifted my legs. My feet were cold. I burrowed them under his thighs.
He looked at me. I snatched my feet back up. “My feet are cold.”
He grabbed my feet and pulled them onto his lap. He wrapped one warm hand around my foot.
“They are cold.” He wrapped his other hand around my other foot.
“Your hands are better than socks.”
Another smile tugged at his mouth.
I stared at him. “Why did you clean everything up?”
He shrugged.
My self-loathing reached an all-time high. “I bet you wish you never stayed here.”
“Not true.”
“Why are you so nice?”
His laughter was harsh. “I'm not nice, Emily. Not even close.”
“You’re nice to me.”
“Go to sleep. You’ll feel better if you sleep.”
I was half conscious when he got up off the couch.
“I’m just switching the laundry over,” he said.
I failed to open my eyes. “Okay.”
“Come on sweetheart.” He lifted me and then I was snuggled up against something hard and warm. I curled up, burrowing into the warmth. My head rested on a heater that rose and fell with each breath. I squinted. I was cuddled up against Jackson’s chest. My arm drifted up around his waist. I felt warm and so safe.
Voices woke me up. I was lying alone on the couch.
“What’s she doing down here?” Matt’s voice. He sounded annoyed.
Footsteps jogged down the stairs. “She threw up on her bed.”
“Oh, well fuck,” Matt said. “Serves her right. She was hammered last night.”
“What the fuck are you doing, Matt?” Jackson sounded pissed, but his voice was quiet.
A harsh laugh from Matt. “Oh, this is rich.”
“That girl is so in love with you. She’ll do anything for you. All she wants from you is to spend some time with her.”
Matt slurred. “You have no fucking clue what you're talking about.”
“I know who you fucking left with. Seriously?”
“Don’t fucking start with me.”
“You’re messing up a good thing here.”
“Jackson. You have always been so fucking jealous of me, haven’t you?”
“This has nothing to do with me. Open your eyes.”
“My eyes are wide open.”
“So when your fiancée is sick and calling your name, and you aren’t home, and she knows that something is up, but she can’t wrap her mind around it.”
“Just shut the fuck up, Jackson. God. Don’t even start with me.”
“I’m trying to prevent a train wreck.”
“You want to know what a train wreck is? Cynthia Clymore.”
“You're still upset about her? She was your girlfriend, what, when you were fifteen?”
“You fucking stole her from me,” Matt’s voice escalated about four-decibel levels.
“I didn’t steal her. I didn’t touch her,” Jackson’s voice remained calm .
“That isn’t what she told me.”
“Well, she lied.”
“You never wanted me happy. Everything I had you needed to break.”
“Come on, man. I'm not the one breaking what you have here.”
“Cynthia. My family. You came into my home and stole my family.”
“Like I had a choice about coming to your home.”
“You could have said no.”
“I was seven years old. I arrived there kicking and screaming. I wanted to stay with Ted.”
“Bullshit. You wanted my life all to yourself.”
“Why the fuck do we have to rehash the same old shit? Huh? I was seven years old, and Ted spent more time in jail than he did at home. Looking back I guess I should have just manned the fuck up and dealt with it.”
“Poor you. Always the same crying bullshit.”
“Yeah, well I have no idea why I'm here since you're the one who begged me to come here. You so obviously don’t want to have anything to do with me.”
“You’re such a dick. You know that, man? Like everything you do, you just do to spite me.”
“Not true. It may come as a complete surprise to you, but I think of you as family. I want the best for you.”
“You want my fucking life.”
“No, I want you to open your eyes and see what an amazing life you have before you fuck it up.”
“I’m not the one who fucked my life up.”
My eyes were wide open, and my heart pounded in my chest. I pushed myself to sit up. Matt and Jackson stood nose to nose. Matt shouted his points, but Jackson’s voice remained moderate. Matt compared to Jackson looked small, yet he looked like he wanted to tear Jackson apart.
I climbed to my feet. “What’s going on? ”
Two heads rotated in my direction. Matt tossed up his hands. “I can’t deal with any of this shit right now. I have to go.”
Matt walked out of the loft. Jackson’s hand covered his mouth. He turned and walked away, his hands on his hips.
I dropped the blanket on the floor and walked upstairs. I crawled into my freshly washed bed. I forced my brain to shut off. I was in no shape to even process that right now. I stared into the dark with wide eyes until sleep claimed me.