Chapter 18
CHAPTER 18
Irene studied me. “How are you?”
I lied. “I'm good.”
“How’s the wedding planning coming along?”
Another lie. “Good.”
Silence descended upon us. She looked around. “Is Matt sleeping?”
“He’s at work.” I was getting quite good at lying. Lying to myself. Lying to others.
She shook her head. “I have no idea where Matt got his work ethic from. He’s the hardest working person I know.”
“Lately, he’s been working around the clock.”
Jackson stood on the side, leaning against the counter, his long legs crossed, his arms folded.
Irene looked back between Jackson and I. “So, I obviously walked in on something here. Want to tell me what’s going on?”
Jackson cleared his throat. “Same old shit.”
“Did you and Matt fight?”
“Yep.”
“Jackson. I know for a fact that Matt wanted you to come and stay with him because he wanted to repair your relationship. Why are you making this so difficult for him? You always do this.”
Jackson didn’t answer. Shock skidded across my skin. Jackson wasn’t the difficult one in this situation. He was probably the only sane one.
She folded her arms. “Matt is trying here. Why can’t you make an effort to get along?”
He stared back at her.
She cleared her throat. “I woke up this morning to a very incoherent drunk message from Matt. Half of which I couldn’t understand. Jackson, you seemed to have upset him.”
More silence while Jackson and I processed that statement.
“It’s not your situation to fix,” Jackson finally said.
“Ever since Harry’s funeral…” her voice trailed off. “I'm asking you to fix this.”
He glanced at me. “I think cooler heads might prevail.”
She made a little noise. “So you're just going to take off again? That’s so typical. We’re trying here with you. We’ve always tried with you.”
I was shocked at how biased this woman’s view was of this situation. She was holding Jackson entirely responsible for this mess. I couldn’t reconcile that Jackson had grown up with this woman. They seemed like two strangers.
“Matt wasn’t exactly an angel in this situation,” I interjected.
Cold eyes that reminded me of Matt turned on me. “And how’s that?”
I swallowed again. “Well, Matt’s been pretty distant lately.”
“He works so hard.”
“Yes. But he hasn’t been around to try and fix stuff either.”
She sniffed and looked around the loft. She turned back to Jackson. “I'm asking you to stay. For Matt. This is obviously important to him.”
I held my breath. His face was devoid of expression, but he nodded. My heart bleated with joy. I didn’t care that he was being coerced.
It was like a switch went off inside of her. Now that she had her way, everything was sunny in her life again. It reminded me of Matt. He would have his little temper tantrums about stuff, but as soon as I agreed to give in, I was back in his good books. At the time, I always felt such relief that things were back to normal, I had never stopped to realize how manipulative it was.
Irene chatted gaily about her choir that she attended every Thursday night and asked Jackson advice about shingles. I sipped my coffee while their conversation drifted around me. I stopped listening, so I could think.
Something nasty was going on with Matt. When had he stopped talking to me? I couldn’t even remember the last time he had returned one of my texts. We used to text daily. Now it seemed like we hadn’t talked in weeks. It had happened so slowly, I had barely noticed, but now it didn’t even feel like he was living here, much less in a relationship with me.
Was it supposed to be like this? When we first started dating, he had been fun and sweet. We had cooked together and gone on date nights. Matt never did have a lot of time, but he had always made time for me. When had he stopped doing that? And why did he call his mom in a drunken stupor last night? It didn’t make sense.
My head pounded and I felt light-headed. I glanced up. Jackson listened to Irene, but his eyes watched me. He moved to the fridge and took a ginger ale out of the refrigerator. He cracked that open and set it in front of me. Then he peeled a banana and placed it on a plate and shoved that in front of me. I picked up the banana and washed it down with the ginger ale. My stomach heaved dangerously at first, but in a few minutes it settled, and I became less lightheaded.
A few weeks ago, everything in my life had been fine. Not fabulous but pretty okay. Matt had been busy, but at least we were texting on a regular basis. Jackson showed up. Matt accused Jackson of infringing on his life which didn’t even make sense, considering Jackson hadn’t even existed in our lives up until Matt allegedly begged Jackson to come and stay here. Matt pleaded for my help in keeping Jackson here so he could spend more time with Jackson, but instead, every time there was a situation that he could hang out with Jackson, he invented some excuse to do otherwise.
Jackson and I found a space where I didn’t ogle him too severely, and he refrained from flirting with my heart. We laughed together and had a comfortable friendship. Perhaps his scent was more intoxicating than any other person I had ever smelled in my life, but that was beside the point. We kept all of that under control.
Then he kissed me. I blew hot as I remembered his kiss. The way his mouth had moved over mine. The taste of him. The feeling of his big hand on the back of my neck. I had never been kissed before in such a manner. I would probably be remembering that kiss in my dotage.
But it had been a colossal mistake of epic proportions. My face burned as I recalled my over-the-top response in my attempt to keep him here. It didn’t get any more mortifying. Nor did it make sense. What could make sense about my frantic desperation to keep him here? I had left the guy utterly speechless. He had no words while he watched me completely lose my shit. Basically, I had begged him to stay.
Irene decided that she’d had enough. “I think I’d like to go back to my hotel now. Jackson, would you mind driving me?”
“Sure.”
I stood up. “Would you like to come by for dinner tonight? I'm pretty sure Matt won’t be working.”
She gave me two air kisses. “That would be lovely, dear.”