19. Addison
Addison
# One kiss is all it takes…to ruin your life
E va dabs at the corners of her mouth with her napkin, having finished the last drop of her champagne from the rehearsal dinner. “So, how’s it going sharing a cabin with Chase?”
I’m immediately suspicious. “Why? What has he told you?”
She laughs and shakes her head. “Nothing at all. But why are you so defensive, Addie?” Her eyes are sparkling with mischief.
“I’m not defensive,” I insist—defensively.
“Okay.” Then she sighs. “It’s just…”
“Just what?” I take a sip of my champagne, careful not to drink more than one glass because I have to drive Angelina back to the cabin.
“I always thought you and he would be perfect for each other, you know? I used to fantasize about how cool it would be if all four of us were in couples.” Then she pulls a horrified face. “Obviously, I mean me and Brax and you and Chase.”
“Yeah, I got that. But why would you think that? I mean, Chase is Chase. He’s always been…well, Chase Hunter.” Aka an unattainable godlike creature.
“I don’t know. I know you used to have a crush on him back in high school, and then sometimes I used to see the way he looked at you and I wondered. And then he…”
Then he broke my heart into a million tiny fragments and never came back to Juniper Ridge again.
It was Eva who found me that afternoon, crying in my bedroom.
Well, not exactly crying, more like hyperventilating and having a full mental breakdown.
I lied and told her it was about some guy from college rather than face the humiliation of Chase being the one who’d betrayed me so badly.
I was ashamed to have been so wrong about someone I’d always looked up to and trusted.
“I always thought he’d move back some day, you know? When we were kids, he always talked about growing old in Juniper Ridge. We all did.”
“People change, I guess.”
She nods and then wraps an arm around me. “Not you. You’ve always been so wonderfully you. I love you, Addie.”
Well, now I’m crying. I brush away the tears before anyone sees. “Love you too, Eva. I’m really really happy you’re marrying Brax.”
She’s crying now too. “Yeah, me too.”
Speaking of whom, he walks up behind us, sliding an arm around each of our shoulders. “You two okay here?”
Eva sniffs. “Yes. Just telling your sister how much I love her.”
That makes my brother smile, and he kisses her head and then mine. “The hall is truly something else, Addie. Thanks.”
Eva nods her agreement. “It’s stunning, Addie.”
“Thank you. It’s the least I could do for both of you.”
“And this rehearsal dinner went so fucking well, I’m kind of scared that all the fuckups will happen tomorrow now.” Brax lets out an anxious laugh.
“They absolutely will not,” I assure him. “Dinner went well because why would it not? Tomorrow is going to be just as perfect.”
Brax loosens his tie. “So long as Samuel doesn’t berate me in the middle of our first dance for missing my steps.”
Eva snickers.
“Don’t worry, Chase and I will keep an eye on him for you.”
“Did I hear my name being taken in vain?” He sits beside me.
“We were talking about how great today was and how tomorrow is going to be even better,” I tell him.
He nods, smiling at his two best friends, who are now looking at each other in that way that makes me want to hurl.
Mere seconds later, they excuse themselves and head back to their cabin, having announced they will absolutely not be following the tradition of spending the night before their wedding apart. Can’t say I blame them to be honest.
“You want to head back too, Firefly?”
“Yes. I need a bourbon.”
Chase stands and then he takes my hand, helping me up from my seat.
I don’t think I’ll ever not react to the touch of his skin on mine, like electricity sizzling through my veins.
When he lets go, I feel the loss of his warmth so acutely that it’s almost like a physical hurt.
I wonder if I’m just letting Eva’s fantasy make me feel melancholy, but the truth is, it’s a fantasy I’ve had many times myself.
We drove back to the cabin in silence and as soon as we arrived, Chase jumped out of the car and came to open my door, once again taking my hand and helping me up. And I get that same feeling I always do, but this time he doesn’t let go, his fingers clasped tightly around mine.
He’s still holding on when we get inside and he closes the door.
“Thank you for your help today, by the way. And dinner was fun.”
“I would do anything for you, Addie. And yes, dinner was fun. Mostly because you were there. Actually, I just really enjoy spending any time with you.” His voice is thick with emotion.
“Me too,” I whisper.
We move closer, and once again I find myself standing like this with him—staring into his blue eyes, our bodies so close together I can feel the heat from him through our clothes. His gaze rakes over me, a subtle caress on my skin that sends a shiver of excitement skittering up my spine.
He dips his head and his lips brush so softly over mine that I hardly feel them, yet somehow, I experience that barely-there kiss more deeply than I’ve felt anything in a very long time.
“Fuck, Addie,” he groans.
It would be so easy to give into this and let him make me feel the kind of pleasure I know only he is capable of.
But he can cause me pain like nobody else can too, and even if I trust he wouldn’t hurt me on purpose this time, I have no idea how I’d feel tomorrow morning in the cold light of day. What if I make another huge mistake?
It takes a gargantuan feat of willpower, but I pull away from him. “We can’t do this, Chase. And especially not the day before Brax and Eva’s wedding. What if we mess something up for them? I would never forgive myself.”
He sighs, but it’s one born of realization. “I know, Firefly. Me too.”
I stare at the tiny couch he’s been sleeping on this week and feel a pang of guilt. “You still don’t have to sleep on that couch tonight though.”
“Addie!” He says my name like it pains him.
“Look, you need to be at your best tomorrow, right? That couch is way too small for you. We can share a bed without mounting each other, can’t we? We’re not animals.”
He tilts his head to the side, like he’s considering that and I nudge him in the arm. “We can even put a wall of pillows between us if you think that would help?”
He laughs. “You’re sure you can sleep next to me and resist mounting me?”
No, I am absolutely not sure. “I think I can handle it,” I tell him instead.