Chapter 5 - August
She is stubborn. But I'd be lying if I said part of me isn't looking forward to tomorrow. I drop her off at her house and there's hesitation between us, how to say goodbye and whatnot. I'm way out of my comfort zone, especially because I sense her hesitating for the first time tonight.
"Can I come and pick you up at eight? We open up the garage early since we close at noon."
"I'll be waiting." She leaves the car. She moves her mouth back and forth. "Hey, I know I've been kinda of a pain for you, calling you in the middle of the night, picking on you just for fun, ruining your plans, but I want to thank you. You've made this day so much better." And she greets me with a smile, that beautiful smile of hers that makes me want to turn into someone else. Someone else who is bright like her.
I'm glad she's feeling better now. I could tell how much it hurt to be stood up on a day like today. Every part of me wanted to shelter her from it.
"You're not a pain." I say and she just keeps grinning and waves me goodbye as she closes the door and runs to the front entrance to her place. It's not snowing that much anymore, but it's still cold. I wish she wouldn't run with those heels. I'm afraid she'll break something. But she doesn't. She opens the door and waves back again like she actually enjoyed being with me. I let her close the door before I drive off.
It's been a while since someone made me feel so alive. There's always so much to do at the garage, even with all my employees, and it's easy for me to get stuck in the routine, stuck in this endless loop of avoiding everything that's not my job. Of course, her father Jeffrey, being the best friend he is, always invites me to drink a couple of beers at Willow Hope during the weekends. It’s a change of pace that I appreciate and doesn’t stress me out.
What would he say if he knew about the things I've thought of doing to his daughter today? He'd kill me. Even if he has spent a lot of time telling me to go on dates, he wouldn't approve of me going out with his daughter.
I need to sleep this off, maybe I'll gain some clarity tomorrow.
At eight am the next day I'm in front of her place, waiting. I didn't sleep well last night, Emma consuming every single one of my thoughts. Why am I feeling this now? I've sworn off relationships, and besides, she's totally off-limits. But nothing my logical brain tells me is enough to shut off my thoughts of her.
She isn't wearing a dress today, instead she's wearing jeans and a warm rainbow sweater and she looks absolutely lovely. I'm not sure which version I love the most. Who am I kidding? She could be wearing the most outrageous piece of unflattering clothing and I'd still think she’s beautiful.
There's also something in her hands, a plastic container.
When she gets into the car, a sweet smell comes with her too.
"I hope you like pear muffins! Mornin'."
"Mornin'." Why is she looking at me with such joy? I'm no joy to be around. And why is she making muffins? We arrived late to her place last night, why would she wake up early just to make muffins?
"Next time, breakfast is on me."
"Next time?" She wiggles her eyebrows playfully and I realize I messed up because there won't be a next time. I'll fix her car and she is helping me with my paperwork but come tomorrow, there's nothing to connect us.
"Take one."
"It's really good," I say as I finish eating it.
She looks at me with a surprised look.
"What?"
"You ate that in two bites."
I freeze, realizing how fast I ate. My face heats up. "Oh... uh, yeah. Guess I was hungry," my manners are the worst.
"People always tell me I'm a fast eater, sorry."
"It's funny, you don't need to apologize," she reassures me. "You've got something in your beard."
Brushing her fingers against my beard, she shakes it off like it's the most normal thing to do. What is this woman doing? She keeps messing with my head.
I flinch from this electricity that she summons in me and I notice her frown before I start to drive towards the garage.
"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," she says softly, breaking the silence after what feels like forever. How can I possibly tell her that nothing she is doing could ever make me uncomfortable? That it’s the exact opposite. Her presence is the only thing that feels right. But I can’t say that. That would be... too much, too soon. So instead, I say nothing, letting the silence stretch between us like an invisible wall. The air in the car grows heavier, almost suffocating, with all the unspoken words hanging between us.
When we arrive, Clarissa is already there fixing a motorcycle. Emma goes in her direction immediately, I grumble a good morning, not really feeling like talking to anyone but Emma, and decide to start on the paperwork right away. I don't want her to waste her entire Saturday here. Marshmallow is nowhere to be found, probably still sleeping. The office is just as we left it yesterday and it makes me remember her sitting at my desk, her face scrunched up in concentration, making me feel things I have no right feeling. Why did I agree with her being here again? Right. She didn't give me much of a choice.
It must be thirty minutes before she opens the door of my office, her smile illuminating the room. Thirty minutes of torture without her. She’s so bright, no one should have the right to make her feel how she felt yesterday. I could see how insecure that idiot made her feel. I wish I knew who he was so I could make him pay. How dare he? How dare he make her feel less than she is?
She’s the most radiant person I’ve ever met, and I can’t believe it took me until yesterday to see it. Honestly, it might have been better if I hadn’t because now I can’t shake the need to hold on to some of that sunshine for myself. Almost like I’ve been cold my whole life, and she’s made me realize just how much better warmth feels.