Chapter 20
twenty
. . .
Gracie
It was amazing what good sex could do for a person. I’d most definitely been missing out, and I was making up for lost time.
Cutler and I had taken advantage of every free moment we had over the last week, ever since we’d changed up the rules, which of course I’d adjusted in the notebook and had us both re-sign.
Once a type A girl, always a type A girl.
Crossing the line with Cutler proved to be the best decision I’d ever made. And he’d added a new rule of his own that I’d agreed to. When we had sex, he wanted us to sleep in the same bed together after. So, I was now sleeping in his bed every night as well.
My casual fling was proving to be full of surprises.
A small part of me worried that the lines were graying more than we should allow—but I pushed the thought away.
Because right now I was having the time of my life and I just wanted to enjoy it.
Enjoy him.
So I was going to allow myself this time with Cutler and not overthink it.
I came over to the Four Clovers to meet Jovi and Tatum for a drink and an appetizer because Jovi was leaving to head back to New York for her last year of college this week. I’d grown close to both of them. Work was crazy busy, and it was nice to get some girl time.
“I can’t believe you’re heading back to school this week,” I said, turning my attention to Jovi. “I’m going to miss you.”
“Me too. And we’ll get to hang out when you move there in September.”
“At the end of September,” Tatum said, making a pouty face. “Don’t rush it. I’m losing you both, so I’m going to hold on as long as I can. I’m so happy we’ve had this summer together, though.”
“It’s been such a good summer—I mean, aside from living on a small houseboat with my overbearing brother.” Jovi shook her head and chuckled.
Tatum’s head fell back with laughter. “He’s so protective when it comes to you. I’m sure it’s a pain in the ass, but it’s actually kind of sweet.”
“I love him so much,” Jovi said. “He’s the best brother a girl could ask for. But come on, I’m almost twenty-two years old and graduating from college this year. He treats me like a child.”
“Dinner of champions, ladies.” Brody set down our three martinis along with a big basket of Tater Tots. “Let me know if you need anything else. I just got a few customers I need to check on, so I’ll be back.”
We thanked him and I turned my attention back to Jovi. “He means well, and it’s definitely sweet, but I’m sure it’s hard living in such close quarters, especially with him treating you like you’re still a kid.”
“Yes. I’ve been on one date since I’ve been here, and that was a total bust.” She reached for her glass and held it up. “To the single girl life.”
We all clinked glasses, and I felt a tinge of guilt that I hadn’t told them what was going on with Cutler and me. We’d agreed we wouldn’t keep it a secret from our friends, but it had only been a week since we’d decided that, and I hadn’t seen them before now.
It felt weird to just bring it up at this point.
“Well, I don’t think we’re all single girls.” Tatum smirked, and then turned to me and waggled her eyebrows. “Do you really expect us to believe that nothing is going on with you and Cutler?”
“Agreed. The way he was looking at you at game night?” Jovi said as she coughed over her drink, and we all chuckled. “If a man looked at me like that, I’d be climbing him like a tree.”
The table erupted in more laughter.
I raised a brow. “And how does he look at me?”
“Like he wants to lock you down for life,” Tatum said. “It’s that certain look that says ‘I want to put a ring on it.’”
My thoughts raced at her words, and it surprised me when a flicker of hope warmed my chest.
This is temporary. A fling that you agreed to. Don’t romanticize it.
“Yep. That man is all in. And I’ve known him a long time, and I’ve never seen this side of him.” Jovi reached for a Tater Tot.
“Well, you’re wrong and you’re right.” I set my glass down.
“Do tell, little sneaky one.” Tatum leaned in closer.
“We’ve sort of got an arrangement going.”
“What kind of arrangement?” Jovi asked, eyes wide.
“You know, a friends-with-benefits sort of thing,” I whispered as I glanced around to make sure no one else was listening.
“I’ve never done anything like this before, but it was time for a change.
The relationships I’ve had before now have been an absolute bust. And after ending things with Gabriel, I just do not want to go down that path again.
I want to focus on my new job, and not worry about finding a long-term partner.
I wanted something casual, and seeing as Cutler is my best friend, and he doesn’t do the serious relationship thing, it’s worked out perfectly for both of us. ”
My chest tightened as the words left my mouth, because even though I knew what this was, even though I’d been the one to ask for it—it felt so much deeper than the way that I was describing it.
I’d never felt so connected to anyone before, but considering I was having sex with my best friend, it was normal to feel this way, right?
“I knew it. You’ve got that good sex glow going. How long has this been going on?” Tatum asked.
“The sex is new. It started on game night, actually.” I chuckled as they gaped at me. “But we were doing—other things, just no sex. We’ve kept things all very official so that there won’t be any misunderstandings.”
Jovi’s mouth was hanging open. “How did you make it official?”
“You know, we wrote it down, we have rules in place. It was anything on the table aside from sex at first. But then we decided to add the sex in on game night.” I reached for my glass. “And I’m not sorry about changing things up.”
“Stoooop.” Tatum clapped her hands together. “So what part were we wrong about? It sounds like we were spot-on with what we picked up on.”
“The other part. Yes, we’re having a besties fling.
But no one is putting a ring on anything.
He’s not that guy, and I know that.” I shook my head and shrugged.
“And it’s totally okay. I feel like my entire life I’ve been following these certain rules.
You know, I’ve always been in serious relationships with the goal of them leading—somewhere.
And it’s all led me nowhere. So, when I left Paris, I made a conscious decision to have a fresh start in Blue Sky Bay.
I’m leaving for New York in two months, and I’m having the time of my life with my best friend.
I think he was probably worried I’d romanticize things, but surprisingly, I’m totally okay with what we have. It works for us.”
Jovi took another sip of her martini and smiled. “I’m so impressed. You’re evolving into this powerhouse woman. You don’t need a man bringing you down. You just needed to have your world rocked, and who better to do that than your best friend, who happens to be hot as hell?”
“Damn. I could use a hot guy bestie, but I’m afraid I’m fresh out.” Tatum smirked. “I’m happy for you. Sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves as women. It’s exhausting.”
“Right?” I agreed. “I had this sort of self-inflicted biological clock ticking last year. Like I took this leap with this man, against everyone’s advice, and moved to Paris.
So I felt like he had to be the one, you know?
And when it ended in a huge disaster, I felt like I’d failed.
And why would I feel like I’d failed? The guy was a complete narcissist. It wasn’t my job to make it work.
He doesn’t feel like he failed. So I’m in a new phase of life.
I’m not settling. I’m doing what feels right in the moment, and I’m not looking beyond that, at least not in my romantic life. ”
“You are so right. And you shouldn’t have to feel that way.” Jovi shrugged. “You’ve got plenty of time.”
“I know. And then I did a deep dive into why I’ve had the relationships I’ve had. None have been very exciting or passionate, and I just fell into a comfort zone where I didn’t think about what I actually wanted. I thought more about what I was supposed to want.”
“Amen, sister.” Tatum held up her glass, waiting for us to clink ours with hers. “And now you’re getting exactly what you want.”
They both had goofy smiles on their faces, and I couldn’t help but smile.
Because they were right.
I was getting exactly what I wanted.
“Oh, Gracie, I can’t get over how gorgeous this is,” Shana said as we stared at her bathroom tile that had just been laid.
“Yes, this beautiful stone is hard to beat. And all the coordinating marble you chose for the shower and the backsplash is going to complement the look so well.”
“I can’t believe how quickly you got it. I thought we were going to be delayed because I couldn’t make a decision before working with you.” She chuckled.
“Nope. Luckily everything that you chose was in stock, so we’re still on track for your move-in date.” I had only selected options that were in stock for her to choose from, but she needed a win, and this felt like one that I could give her.
She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tight. “I’m just so grateful for you. I’m finally sleeping again, and I’ve hardly even been here, because I know you’ve got it.”
“That’s exactly how it should be.” I glanced down at my phone to check the time. “And you have a soccer game to get to, so you better get going. I just wanted you to see the progress, and give you something to be excited about with this project.”
She blinked a few times, and I noticed her eyes were wet with emotion. “I’m so grateful for you,” she said again.
She gave me one more hug and hurried out of the room, just as I heard someone calling my name. I sighed, because I recognized the voice.
You can do hard things. You survived a relationship with Gabriel.
“What’s up, William?” I asked as I came around the corner and found one of our subcontractors in the laundry room. He was installing the wallpaper for me, and he’d already had some run-ins with the other subcontractors.
I didn’t know how Cutler handled all the moving parts and personalities in this business. And he never seemed bothered by it. He was even-keeled, yet he knew how to get things done. They all respected him.
“Well, your painter did shit work, and I can’t work under these conditions.” William tossed his hands in the air.
“This guy has some nerve talking shit about my work,” Carl hissed as he came walking out of the pantry, startling us both.
“Oh. I didn’t know you were still here,” William said.
“Well, here I am, asshole.” Carl placed his hands on his hips and stepped forward.
“And I here I am speaking the truth, asshole.”
Please make it stop.
“Listen, you little diva. You had a problem at the last project with the cabinet guy touching your work, and now you have a problem with me,” Carl shouted, and they stepped closer to one another.
“I don’t want any of you assholes touching my paper!” William’s voice bounced off the walls in the small space, and my heart raced at how heated this was getting.
I moved forward to step between them because I had a feeling they were ready to throw blows, and I hoped like hell they wouldn’t do that if I was standing between them.
“Your paper? Did you make the wallpaper? Are you the artist? I don’t believe you are.” Carl’s sarcasm was impossible to miss.
“You son of a bitch!” William shouted.
“What is going on in here?” Cutler’s voice came from behind me, and my shoulders relaxed immediately.
“Oh, hey, Cutler.” Carl cleared his throat and shoved his hands in his pockets.
“‘Oh, hey’?” Cutler asked. “I hear shouting on the jobsite, and all you have to say is ‘hey’?”
Cutler stepped in front of me, and I instinctually stepped back, which I assumed was the purpose.
He placed himself between the two men and crossed his arms over his chest. “You know I don’t tolerate that on my jobsites.
Period. You have a problem, you come to me.
You don’t get into it here while you’re working.
And I don’t appreciate you putting my girl in the middle of your mess either. ”
They both turned to look at me and winced.
Cutler glanced over his shoulder and winked at me, and William and Carl both apologized at the same time.
“Now apologize to one another. You’re brothers, for fuck’s sake,” my best friend said, and now it was me who was gaping at them.
“You’re brothers?” I asked, not hiding my surprise.
“Of course. Do you think I’d talk to a stranger like that?” William shrugged.
“I’ve been dealing with this prima donna my entire life,” Carl grumped. “He thinks he’s an artist and the rest of us are talentless.”
“Your words, not mine, brother,” he chuckled as he picked up his roll of wallpaper. “I guess this wall is prepped as good as it’s going to get. I’ll get this going right now, Gracie.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“Unbelievable. You made that whole scene and for nothing.” Carl shook his head and stormed out of the laundry room.
Cutler motioned for me to step out of the room, and he placed his hand on the small of my back as we walked down the hallway into the kitchen.
Another subcontractor, Jackson, was there, laying the floors, and he and Cutler were discussing the timeline.
The electrician, Coby, was waiting for him as soon as he finished talking to Jackson. I didn’t know how he handled being pulled in so many directions all the time.
Cutler Heart wore a lot of hats.
And right now, while I stood there watching him do his thing, it nearly took my breath away.
His shoulders strained against his navy tee as he listened intently to Coby’s questions.
I watched as he put fire after fire out.
Everyone came to him, and he never lost his cool or got frustrated.
He was the most confident man I’d ever known.
The sexiest man I’d ever known.
And it took everything in me not to pull him against me and kiss him right here in the middle of this kitchen, in front of all these people.
The irony was not lost on me.
I’d come to Blue Sky Bay to have a fling and keep things casual.
But this felt like anything but casual.
This felt terrifyingly real.
And that was not supposed to happen.