Chapter 25
twenty-five
. . .
Cutler
“What? Oh, um,” she said, eyes wide as if she didn’t expect to see me here. “There is no other option for where to put the floral arrangement.”
She quickly shrugged it off and then tilted her head to the side as if she was waiting for an explanation about why I was here.
“I figured you’d need help, so I brought backup.” I eyed the barely touched food on the counter. “Is this your sandwich?”
“Yes. Are you hungry?” she asked, and I chuckled.
“No. I ate lunch. I’m wondering why you aren’t eating—you’ve taken one bite, and you’ve been here for hours.”
“Ahhh…you’re becoming a real wet nurse, Heart.” Cannon clapped me on the shoulder. “Put us to work, Gracie.”
“You going to eat those chips?” Phoenix asked Tatum when she moved to the counter to take a sip of water. “I assume those are yours?”
She rolled her eyes and handed him the bag. “Some things never change.”
“Hey, you were always more prepared with lunch than I was.” He tore the top open and shoved a few chips in his mouth.
“You just ate at Four Clovers. How are you and Heart always hungry?” Brody asked with a laugh.
“Hey, this body is a work of art,” Phoenix said over a mouthful of food. “I need to keep it well fed. Thanks, Tate.”
“You’re looking good, per usual, Tater Tot,” Cannon said as he winked at her, and I noticed the way Phoenix’s hands fisted at his side.
I could swear Cannon flirted with her just to get under his skin. Phoenix and Tatum had grown up living next door to one another, and he’d just always been protective of her.
Bass added, “I’ve got two hours before I have to be at the restaurant, so let’s stop with the flirty banter and get our asses moving.”
Gracie laughed, and she started directing us. The place was an absolute disaster, and I had no idea how she’d possibly have this ready to go by tomorrow morning, when my aunt and uncle were set to arrive.
I’d offered to move their arrival back by a day or two, but she’d turned me down. She had to get the Petersons’ house staged next, and she said she worked best under pressure, and she never missed deadlines.
But looking around the place, I didn’t know how she was going to pull this off.
We all spent the next few hours moving furniture, breaking down boxes, and carrying tall potted trees from room to room. I unpackaged more throw pillows than I’d ever seen in my life, and Brody and I were assigned to hanging things on the walls, with Gracie directing us like a fucking boss.
She was badass.
I loved watching her in her element.
Bass had to take off and get back to work. Tatum stayed until it got dark, when Gracie insisted she head home. Brody and Phoenix and Cannon stayed for another hour and hung floating shelves and carried all the broken-down boxes out to the recycling bin on the side of the house.
“All right, you think you two can handle the rest?” Brody asked.
“Yeah. We’ve got it. Thanks so much for coming,” I said, giving each of them one of those half bro hugs that dudes did.
These were my brothers in every way.
We always showed up for one another.
Always had. Always would.
“You guys are life savers,” Gracie said, pausing to give them each a hug. “I will be baking you all cookies and any other treats you want.”
And then it was just the two of us. I made my way out to the backyard to help her place the outdoor furniture she’d ordered.
I had no idea how she would have done all of this herself, but I had a hunch she would’ve just stayed and worked through the night.
She was impressive, no doubt about it.
When we stepped back inside, I whistled as I took it all in.
It looked like something out of a magazine.
She hadn’t stopped since we’d arrived, continuing to move things around on the built-in bookshelves until she’d gotten things just right.
I plopped down on the couch and watched her do her thing.
Seeing it all come to life with her design was next level.
“Damn. This looks fucking amazing, Jeege. You are unbelievably talented.”
She turned to look at me, the corners of her lips turning up. “Thank you. I thought I’d be here until the sun came up, but we’re almost done. This is unbelievable. Thank you so much for bringing everyone over. How did you even know I’d need help?”
“Maybe I did it for selfish reasons.” I tugged her down onto my lap, wrapping my arms around her. “Maybe I wanted to make sure you were in my bed tonight.”
She tipped her head back. “Thank you, Bear. You always know what I need.”
“Yeah?” I leaned down and nipped at the lobe of her ear. “And what do you need right now?”
She sighed, and her warm breath tickled my cheek. “Let’s go home and take a shower together.”
“I could get on board with that. But I’m feeding you first because you never ate your sandwich.”
She tipped her head back and chuckled. “What did I do to deserve you?”
“Exist. That’s all you ever have to do.”
And I fucking meant it.
Her eyes were wet with emotion, and she looked away briefly, as if everything we were feeling was too much.
Hell, I understood it, because I felt it too.
Somewhere along the way, our relationship had shifted.
And once again, the timing wasn’t right for us.
I sipped my coffee after taking the last bite of French toast at the Cozy Griddle with Brody and Bass.
“So what’s the plan here, brother?” Bass asked, one brow raised.
“The plan with what?” I looked between them, because they were both staring at me with concern.
“Ummm…the woman who lives with you. Your best friend and now lover,” Brody chuckled.
I rolled my eyes just as Stanley, who owned the café with his wife, Margo, walked over to the table with a pot of coffee. “Refill?”
“Please. Apparently, I’m going to need it for this conversation.” I blew out a breath as the older man topped me off.
“Where’s your girl? She’s much better company than these two,” Stanley said with a smirk.
“Hey, I’m great company,” Bass snipped.
“Well, you’re not as pretty to look at.”
“We can’t argue that one.” Brody shrugged.
“Leave these boys alone and let them be,” Margo said as she swatted a towel at her husband.
“Just saying. He doesn’t look this grumpy when he’s with Gracie.” Stanley followed his wife back into the kitchen.
“My point exactly.” Bass turned to look at me, his tone all business now.
“Seriously? Are you guys worried about this? We’re fine. Everything is good. What’s the problem?” I asked, my voice coming off more defensive than I meant it to.
“Dude. You’re in the most serious relationship you’ve ever been in, and she’s fucking leaving,” Brody said. “This is not a fling. This is not a friends-with-benefits situation. This is a disaster in the making.” He shook his head in disbelief, as if I should have known this.
“We’ll be fine. We’ll figure something out.”
But I knew he was right. I was trying not to let myself even go there.
Not to admit that I was clearly headed for exactly what I’d always avoided.
Because I was in love with this girl, and when she left, it was going to shatter me.
We had no idea what the future held, and she might leave and never look back.
I mean, of course we’d always be best friends, but this was so much more now.
And the idea of it ending scared the shit out of me.
“Have you discussed it? I mean, you could try the long-distance thing,” Bass suggested.
“She’s moving to New York. That’s on the other side of the country. How would that possibly work?” Brody leaned back in the booth and reached for his mug.
I scrubbed a hand down my face. “Listen, things got a little more complicated than we planned. I know that. I didn’t expect this to turn into what it has.
Maybe it’s because we have a history. Maybe it’s because we were already best friends.
I don’t fucking know. But we have a plan, and I’m fairly certain she wants to stick to it. ”
She’d made that clear. She was the one who was leaving. The ball was in her court.
“I don’t know that it’s going to be that simple, Heart.” Bass did not hide his concern. “I’ve never seen you like this. And you’ve always been the happiest dude I know. But you’re just—happiest when you’re with her. So I don’t know how you’re going to handle being away from her.”
“It’s not like you can pack up and move to New York. You have a business here. Have you guys discussed it?” Brody pressed. “Does she know how long she wants to stay in New York?”
“No. We don’t talk about it. We’re just—aware that it’s coming, you know?
” I tried to keep my tone calm, but I knew this was not going to be easy.
“And she’s excited about New York. So I don’t want to fucking dim her light.
I would never do that. But I’m not sure how this works when she leaves.
We had rules in place, rules that I laughed about because she insisted on writing them down in her notebook.
But it was always clear that it would end, and we’d just go back to being best friends. ”
These guys knew me well, and they were right to be concerned. I was concerned.
The only person who didn’t seem concerned was Gracie.
She was confident about our plan, or at least she acted like she was.
She never talked about what would happen when she left. We were just always in the moment, but also very aware that there was an end date.
“Will it bother you if she starts dating when she moves to New York?” Bass asked.
My jaw clenched at his question.
“That’s a fucked-up question. Don’t ask me that,” I hissed.
“Well, I guess I just got my answer.” He gave me a look.
“This is a wake-up call, Heart. You need to get yourself in check. Because she’s leaving in less than a month, and you two are shacked up like you’re in for the long game.
We’re just worried about you, brother. Hell, we’re worried about her too. ”
I glanced down at my phone to see a text from my mom.
Mama
Hey, sweetheart. I was just talking to Uncle Bridger about Christmas, and I told him you might be bringing your girlfriend. Is that still going strong?
I groaned and set my phone down.
“What’s wrong?” Brody asked.
“My mom is obsessed with meeting my mystery girl. She asked me if I was in love yesterday.” I rubbed my face.
“Are you?”
“What? I mean, of course I love Gracie. I always have. But this is—different. At least for me it is. But I’m more than aware that this wasn’t supposed to be her end-game.
She doesn’t think I’m that guy. She’s also made it clear that she doesn’t want to be in a serious relationship right now.
That’s why this works. For the first time in her life, she wants to focus on her career and herself.
I know that. So what am I going to do? Fuck it all up for her and tell her I’m madly fucking in love with her? ”
“Well, yeah. That’s kind of how it works when you fall in love with someone. You’re supposed to tell them.” Bass smirked as he picked at the fruit on his plate and popped a piece of cantaloupe in his mouth.
“And what if I’m not that guy? What if I put it all out there and then I fuck it up? This is Gracie. I can’t risk that.”
“Has it ever dawned on you that you probably haven’t ever been in a serious relationship because you’ve always been in love with your best friend?” Brody asked, tipping a shoulder up and pursing his lips. “You just weren’t ready for it before now.”
Bass nodded. “He’s right. You’re in a fucked situation.”
“Thank you. I’m more than aware. And there’s a lot at stake.
But at the end of the day, I know she wants to go to New York.
I know this is important to her. And if I tell her how I feel now, it’s going to confuse her and make her feel bad for choosing her own dreams over me.
I’m not that fucking guy. I won’t do that. ” I blew out a breath.
“So what are you going to do?” Brody asked.
“I’m going to suck it up and stick to the plan. I owe her that much. And we’ll see how it goes.” I cleared my throat. “But for now, I’m going to enjoy my time with her, all right?”
“Of course, brother. I get it. It’s a shit situation.” Bass shook his head. “But I do think you’re going to have to tell her how you feel at some point.”
“I’m going to let her take the lead on how we handle it when she leaves. Some things aren’t meant to be said. Sometimes loving someone means not being a selfish prick.” I tossed my napkin on the table and shrugged.
Brody chuckled. “Damn. You really are in love with the girl. It’s worse than I thought.”
“You’re a smart guy,” Bass added. “You need to trust your gut. And we’ll be here for you regardless.”
“Thanks. Don’t worry, it’ll all be fine.” I got up. “I need to stop wallowing and get my ass to work.”
I wanted to enjoy these last few weeks and not worry about what would happen after.
I’d pick up the pieces and figure it all out when I had to.
What other option did I have?