Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
TUCKER
The truth is, I’ve never gone ice-skating, but I’m good at rollerblading, so I figure somehow, that should transfer to the ice? Right? I read that somewhere once.
It’ll be fine.
That’s what I tell myself as I lace up my skates, watching Julie’s knee bounce in my peripheral. Carly, Jessie, and Carson are already out on the ice. Her mom is busy chasing them around the outside of the rink, taking pictures and sipping hot chocolate.
“Ready?” I turn to Julie, forcing a smile.
She nods, and then sighs. “Are you okay though?”
I dismiss it, my stomach rolling. “I’m grand. Let’s get this over with and try not to break a bone before the parade tomorrow.”
Or maybe do? Then I don’t have to dress up like Santa.
I grab her hand and lead the way to the rink. I step out, feeling the blade slip on the surface. I carefully move forward, quickly catching onto the feeling. Julie is shakier, clinging to my arm to stay upright.
“You really are terrible at this,” I burst into laughter, threading my fingers through hers. I try to pretend like it doesn’t feel right to be in this moment with her.
“Just don’t let me fall…” Julie says, her focus solely on staying upright in the moment. We stay to the outer edge, moving slow. “I don’t know why I put myself through all this embarrassment.”
“It’s not embarrassing,” I reassure her. “We’re in Hillsdale, Texas, honey. We were all taught to stay off ice when we saw it, not try to skate.” She peers up at me, her cheeks growing red. “What?” I furrow my brow.
“You just called me ‘honey,’” she giggles.
“Oh yeah,” I clear my throat. “I guess I’m just getting used to my role.”
“Right…” She looks away but I squeeze her hand.
“What would you like to be called?”
Julie tips her head in confusion. “Like for this? ”
“I mean, in a relationship, what do you prefer your pet-name to be?” I shrug, trying to make it nonchalant, all the while feeling as awkward as ever.
“ Oh, ” Julie giggles. “I don’t know. I haven’t ever really been called anything.”
“Hmm…” My voice trails off, remembering all the times that Nate would call her babe. For that reason, I’m certain that I won’t be calling her that—not even in fake form. I don’t want to mimic the way he treated her in the slightest…
“What would you call your girlfriend? In real life?” Julie slows down, as if that’s even possible.
I mull it over. “I’ve never called a girl anything.”
“You just called me honey, Tucker. I think that counts as calling a girl something.” She nudges me slightly, and as she does, Julie loses her balance, her feet coming out from under her. I catch her, but I’m not good enough on the skates to stay upright myself. In the middle of the fall, my instinct kicks in, and I sweep her around my body, letting my back break her fall.
Julie lands on my chest with a thump, her hair falling all around my face as she squeals. I inhale her sweet perfume, and her nose brushes mine as she lifts herself, clearly mortified. However, as for me?
All I see is her.
All I feel is her against me.
I don’t want to let her go. My arm snakes around her waist, and as I run my tongue along my lower lip as she meets my gaze, the tension crackling between us like an electric current.
“I’m… I’m sorry,” she chokes out, her voice barely above a whisper.
I shake my head, instantly remembering the crowd around us. I clear my throat and sit up, helping her right herself. “I don’t think either of us are cut out to be pro skaters.” I use the line trying to be funny, but the landing is awkward, Julie not even muttering half a giggle.
“That was a graceful fall,” a voice calls from behind us. I stand unsteadily to my feet, and then help Julie, my eyes landing on Carson. He’s stopped a few feet from us, watching the spectacle unfold with a raised brow.
“I told you I didn’t want to come,” Julie mutters, shaking her head with redness splashed across her cheeks. “This is why.”
“No one cares if you fall,” Carson laughs. “We all fall sometimes.”
“He’s right,” I surprisingly agree with her brother. “I’m pretty sure that if we look around longer than five minutes, we’ll see plenty of people bite it. It’s just part of the fun.” Though, my back might disagree with that tomorrow.
“True…” Julie’s voice trails off as she smooths out her shirt, now shakily on her feet again. She has a death grip on my arm once more, and I interlock my fingers with her.
“See? All good,” Carson smirks, and then shouts to Jessie and Carly, who are busy skating in circles on the other side. He jets off, and for a moment, I wonder if the guy played hockey or something in his younger years.
“Ugh,” Julie says, frowning. “Ice skating is not nearly as magical as I thought it would be.”
I squeeze her hand. “I don’t know. I thought that fall felt pretty special.”
She whips her head up at me, surprise etched into every crinkle in her nose. “What?”
I shrug it off, feeling exposed. “Nothing. It was nothing.”
“Right.”
My gaze flickers back to her, and I catch my breath at the way her dark lashes flutter under the warm lights of the little makeshift downtown rink. We slip past the ten-foot Christmas tree, decorated to the max, and for the first time in my entire life…
I actually think I do feel the Christmas magic. Well, a little, anyway.
“Do you remember when we were in high school?” Julie’s question breaks my thoughts. “Like, back when I was with?—”
“Yeah,” I cut her off, not wanting to hear his name right now. “I remember it.”
“Were we…” She pauses, shaking her head. “I sound so stupid, but… Were we friends? Like, did you look at me as a friend?”
“That’s a strange question, Julie,” I tell her, chuckling. “I mean, I guess I saw you as a friend of sorts. We were in the same group because of your boyfriend…”
“Yeah, but we never really talked.” Julie’s voice is flat, like she’s mulling something over. “I feel like I only ever really knew you as Nate’s best friend—and everything else was from afar, you know?”
I nod, understanding what she’s saying. “It was like that,” I confirm. “I always just watched you from a distance.”
“Sounds creepy,” Julie giggles, and then grows serious, peering up at me. “But really, I think I missed out. I wish I would’ve known you better.”
A knot forms in my throat. “Well, I guess we can start now then, can’t we?”
She grins. “Yeah, that sounds nice. I think I’d like that.”
Two hours, three hot chocolates, and one shower later, I’m collapsing into my bed with the disturbing Frosty grinning up at the same ceiling fan as me. Julie loosened up, and we spent the rest of the evening skating with Carson and Jessie. When we made it home, she went with her mom and Carly to try on elf costumes, and I jetted off to bed, feeling exhausted. However, now…
All I can think about is the past.
And the fight that Julie has no clue about.
May, Twelve Years ago…
My eyes flicker to Nate, stalking around the backyard with a red solo cup in his hand. He’s in a pair of swim trunks with stupid little palm trees and pineapples on them. His eyes are already red from all the spiked punch, and while usually I’d be right there with him, I don’t like the way it tastes. I stay seated in my lounger a few feet from the edge of the Roland’s in-ground pool.
The string lights illuminate the evening, and the kids of our graduating class are sauntering around like they’re big deals now. All grown up because we got a piece of paper that says we made it through the public school system. Whoo-hoo.
“Dude,” Nate slaps a heavy hand on my shoulder, pulling me from my thoughts. “Have you seen Maddie in that little red bikini? She is smokin’ .”
I curl my lip, bristling. “Haven’t paid any attention.” I wipe a sweaty hand on my denim covered thigh, having come straight from the arena. I hate the way Nate drools over Maddie, even when his girlfriend is right there in front of his face. My gaze shifts to her, standing there in a pair of jean shorts and a black bathing suit top. She’s just to the left of Maddie, who’s in the red bikini Nate is drooling over…
And I just don’t understand.
Julie’s blonde hair was in loose waves, landing in the center of her back, and I don’t for the life of me understand how Nate could see any other girl at this party. Julie is all I ever see.
“I wanna get her in the pool.”
“What?” I turn to Nate, clearing my throat.
“Maddie,” Nate says to me. “I want to get her in the pool.” His attention is on Julie’s best friend, and I’m left with that sick feeling in my stomach for the hundredth time. I don’t know how Julie doesn’t notice this… But maybe she does? Maybe she doesn’t care?
Well, if she doesn’t, she should. She deserves so much better.
Nate gives my shoulder another squeeze and then heads off to the two girls standing at the edge of the pool. I watch carefully, tightening my grip around the plastic cup, I feel it give under my fingers, and the red liquid splashes out over the top. I toss the rest of it out onto the grass behind me and stand to my feet.
Nate walks up to Maddie, placing his hands on her shoulders. She tips her head back and giggles up at him, while I watch the opposite expression form on Julie’s face. Her pretty eyes are focused on his hands, gripping her best friend’s shoulders.
I start over to them, just as Nate sweeps Maddie up into his arms—and then jumps into the pool with her. Maddie lets out a squeal, and I don’t miss how close their bodies are as they disappear into the water. My eyes flicker up to Julie, who’s watching them, her face unreadable.
“Julie,” I call to her, jogging up to her. “What do you think of the punch?” My heart thumps unevenly in my chest as she smiles softly at me. I can see the hurt in her eyes.
“Um, it’s not great. I don’t know how his parents don’t know he spiked it.” She frowns, staring down into the liquid.
“I bet they know,” I chuckle, the distant sound of Nate and Maddie’s laughter like nails on a chalkboard. Julie angles her body away from them, facing the house instead of the pool, and I don’t know if it’s on purpose or not…
But I can still see the two of them, Maddie clinging to Nate like she might drown without him.
“So,” I clear my throat, “Are you excited to get out of this town?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know.”
“You know, you’re really smart, and you could do anything you wanted—wherever you want to.” I feel so nervous around her, and she has no idea, laughing me off.
“Thanks, Tuck.” She tips her drink to her lips, and I glance back to Nate and Maddie…
Just in time to catch their lips locked.
Oh, no. Heck no.
“Get out of the pool!” I shout at Nate, startling everyone. They instantly part, and Nate glares at me, his eyes bouncing to Julie as she turns around to face them.
“What happened?” Julie asks, bewildered.
“He—”
“Nothing,” Maddie cuts me off, shooting me a glare. “It was nothing. He just thought Nate was about to drown me or something.”
Nate pushes himself up and out of the pool then, his focus on me. “You and I need to talk.”
I back away from him. “No, you and Julie need to talk.”
Nate claps his hand on the back of my neck, as if he’s going to steer me away from it all. I shove him back off me, and Julie squeals at the violent gesture.
Maddie grabs Julie and leads her toward the house, and as much as I want to stop that from happening, I don’t have a chance. Nate comes barreling back at me, the palms of his hands connecting with my chest. I’m stouter than him though, and he only knocks me back a foot or so.
“You’re an idiot! ” I bellow. “You did it right in front of her face. She deserves better than you, Nate.”
“You don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Nate growls, standing on his toes to get eyes to my level, his chest against my chest—as if it intimidates me. “You and I both know that you’re just mad because you’re jealous. You wish you were inheriting the ranch that I am.”
“You’re cheating on her right in front of her face,” I seethe. “She deserves so much better than you.”
“You need to leave,” Nate spits in my face. “I’m sick of you trying to tell me what to do all the time, like you’re not some pathetic, lowlife orphan. You’re only here because I had pity on you. My parents don’t care about you, Tucker. No one does.”
I ignore the way his words sting, shoving him as hard as I can. He goes down to the concrete this time, his body hitting it with a thud.
“Hey!” I hear a familiar deep voice from behind me, and I inwardly cringe as Nate’s dad is suddenly in my face.
“He’s unhinged!” Nate calls from the ground. “I told you he was crazy.”
“What’re you doing, Tucker?” Mr. Roland demands, shaking his head at me. He looks like Nate, only with gray hair. “Why are you attacking my son?”
“He kissed Maddie,” I say, shaking my head. “He’s being a piece of?—”
“He wouldn’t do that.” Mr. Roland immediately comes to Nate’s defense.
“He stole from my deposit box under my bed, and he doesn’t want to admit it,” Nate says, his voice so loud it booms over the music. “He’s a thief and doesn’t want to admit it!”
Mr. Roland’s eyes grow dark and angry. “ Get out. ”
“I didn’t—” I can’t finish as I catch sight of Julie walking out of the house, her eyes wide as she looks at me, and then Nate on the ground.
“We’ll get your things to you,” Mr. Roland barks. “ Out, Tucker.”
I shake my head, my hands shaking. I don’t even know where to go but turn on my heels and slip out of the Roland’s backyard.
Good riddance.
No good deed ever goes unpunished.