Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
JULIE
“What?” My own voice sounds distant as my nightmare unfolds in front of my very eyes—in front of the entire town. “What is he saying, Tucker? I’m the one who put it on the table. It wasn’t him,” I turn to my dad. “It wasn’t Tucker’s idea. It was mine. ”
“You don’t have to do this?—”
“No,” I cut off Tucker, and then shoot a glare at Nate as he bursts into laughter, tipping his head back.
“This is rich, ” he cackles. “Here I was thinking that it was just Tucker trying to use you, but in reality, it was you? You’re really that forever alone, huh?”
“Shut up,” Tucker roars at him, shoving his chest. “Just get out of here.”
Nate shoves him back, and I brace for Tucker to throw a punch at him, but he doesn’t. Instead, he just shakes his head.
“Carson is right, you know,” Nate says to me, taunting amusement in his voice. “Tucker’s had the hots for you since he came to Hillsdale.”
I can hardly believe what I’m hearing, and now, I feel the weight of the audience we have as I choke out. “Tucker, tell me the truth.”
He turns to me, still gripping the buckle box. “I love you, Jules—and that’s why I had to leave this town.” My mouth falls open as Nate laughs.
“Go ahead, tell her. Tell her how you always were out to be her protector, even though she never saw you as anything more than a troublemaker.”
My dad and Carson have long gone silent, their own faces now morphed with a mixture of shock and anger—probably at both of us. My heart is beating so violently in my chest, I don’t even notice the snowflakes falling from the sky.
“It’s true,” Tucker says quietly, his face reddening. “I fell for you in high school, even though we barely talked, and maybe it wasn’t love… But… I know it is now. It’s not the deal.” He pauses, shaking his head. “I don’t care about the deal. I care about you, Julie. I didn’t even want to tell you how desperate I was to save my herd—and all I’ve wanted is to win you over.”
“How pathetic,” Nate scoffs, downing his spiked eggnog and looking at Tucker with disdain. “Just leave, Tucker. She just wanted a date to the party.”
Tucker’s eyes bounce between all of us, and my heart breaks at the way his face contorts with defeat. He turns to me, meeting my gaze. “I don’t think it’s right for me stay.”
I can’t find the words. I’m still in shock that he lied to me about his situation. I’m shocked that he’s had feelings for me for years and never once told me. Maybe things could’ve been different… But would I have seen him differently? I don’t have an answer for that, and as Tucker shakes his head, I still find myself frozen, watching him walk away. He sets the buckle box on the kitchen island and disappears through the parting crowd.
“I can’t believe you would stoop so low,” Mom says in a near whisper as she places a hand on my shoulder, shaking her head. “You’ve never been pressured to bring someone home.”
“No, but it’s all I freaking hear from the family. It’s all I hear around town. I’m the reason you never invite Nate and Maddie.” I gesture to the two of them, Maddie now suddenly showing face. “I just didn’t want to be alone this Christmas, and I know it sounds pathetic, but… I just wanted this year to be different.”
“Well, it is that,” Jessie mutters.
“I’m disappointed,” Dad says, his shoulders falling. “And that’s all I have to say right now.” He stalks away, and my mom follows him, glaring at me as she does. Carly runs to Jessie, tugging on her dress. It leaves me Carson, Nate, and Maddie, all three of them staring at me.
“Blew up right in your face,” Maddie says, her voice flat.
“Oh, shut it,” Carson growls. “You have no room to talk. You’re the definition of the worst friend ever. Neither of you should’ve been invited here.”
I swallow hard as the two of them slink away, both looking at us like we’re crazy—and honestly, we are. But my stomach is churning, I’m overwhelmed, and I’m sweating…
And I feel like I need to cry.
I make a beeline for the backdoor, shoving through the doors and right out into the snowy evening. I wrap my arms around myself as the sharp wind hits, and as much as I should be soaking in every second of the moment, I feel gutted instead. I hear the door open from behind me, and I brace for whoever followed to berate me.
“That was a really dumb plan,” my brother’s voice cuts through the hum of the music. “Like, what did you think would happen after the holidays?”
“I don’t know,” I say, sniffling as the tears roll down my cheeks. “I guess I just thought we’d break up. He’d run his cattle, and… and…” I stop, sucking in a gasp of air and turning to Carson. “I had no idea he was in such a bad place.”
“Yeah,” my brother nods, shrugging his shoulders. “I knew it.”
“How?” I gasp. “How could you have known?”
He chuckles. “Word gets around fast, but it didn’t change my mind about the deal. Tucker is a good man, and he didn’t tell you, because he knew how desperate it’d make him feel. I think he’s had enough of those moments in his life.”
“And what about his feelings? Why didn’t he tell me that?”
Carson frowns. “Because he was showing you instead. The man spent three days with you, all the while you were throwing up and gross. He put on a Santa suit and rode in a parade.”
“It was part of the deal.”
“Was that necklace part of the deal?” He points to my chest. “Because that looks expensive. Why’d he give it to you?”
“For Christmas…”
“What’s inside it?”
“Nothing,” I answer, wiping away a tear. “He said it was for when I found my person…”
“Ha, that was clever,” Carson chuckles. “He was probably hoping you were going to tell him he was or something. But seriously, he told me how he felt about you when we went for a ride that day—and it was before the deal was made. He told me he never told you how he felt about you, or why he and Nate fell out, because you didn’t see him. And you know what, Jules?”
“What?” I keep wiping fresh tears from my cheeks.
“You’re crazy to have let him walk out of here like that. I told you he loved you tonight, and you just stared at him. That was cold, Jules, even for you. I know you’re scared of getting hurt again, and I think that’s why you’d rather arrange a fake boyfriend instead of actually considering giving your heart away.”
My lower lip trembles. “It hurt… And what if Tucker is just saying those things so that he can have the land for his cattle? I was… I was going to talk to him about how I was feeling…”
“ He told the truth. Not you. He knew he was going to lose the deal the moment he told Dad what was going on, and he said he loved you afterward. A man who wants to get away with a crime doesn’t confess.”
“Yeah…” My voice trails off, as I hear the roar of a diesel engine in the night air. My heart drops and I meet Carson’s gaze. “He’s already leaving. I… I need to talk to him.”
“In his mind, there’s probably nothing here to stay for.”
“Oh my gosh,” I choke out, suddenly shaking my head. “I have to fix this. It’s all my fault, and it’s all my fault I didn’t tell him that I have feelings for him, too.”
Carson snorts as I take off toward my jeep. “Drive fast, Jules. He’s a man on a mission. Best of luck.”
“Ugh,” I groan, whipping the side door open. I rush for the counter, swiping up the belt buckle I got for him, and ignore all the funny looks from the partygoers. They have no idea how bad I messed up—well, they do.
But they have no idea how amazing the guy is I’m about to let get away.