24. Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Four
Meg
A fter finding out I was pregnant, my primary care doctor got me in for an appointment right away, but the earliest I could schedule an ultrasound was January 25 th . How the hell was I going to hold it together for two weeks and six days?
I examined my profile in my full-length mirror and rubbed my hands up and down my belly. I didn’t look any bigger than I did three months ago—three months since Lance darkened my door. If I ever saw that imposter’s face again, I’d explode.
I should have paid more attention to my cycles. But my periods have never been reliable. Sometimes I’d skip a month and then I’d have a heavy flow the next. Because they were so erratic, I’ve never been good about keeping track of them which worked because I wasn’t one to sleep around. I didn’t even lose my virginity until I was in college.
Now I was so freaked out, I didn’t know if the sudden onslaught of nausea was because of stress or because of the pregnancy. I’d been so close to telling my mom about it more than once, but every time, I stopped myself. I wanted the damned ultrasound first. Of course, I was going to tell her and everyone else. I just really, really wanted to know the due date before I went public…or told my mother she was going to be a grandma.
The doorbell rang and Maya darted out of my bedroom, yapping like a demon.
“Meg!” Mike shouted from the porch. “Open the door!”
I stood frozen, my miniscule dog jumping, barking, and running in circles.
“Are you okay? Please. I just need to know that you’re all right!”
The poor guy was worried.
About me.
And once I told him the truth, he was going to throw up in my face .
“No, Maya,” I said, my voice calm, unlike the tempest churning inside me. I might have been able to hide from Mike for a few days, but obviously I couldn’t avoid him for two weeks and six days. Hell, I’m surprised my mother hasn’t beaten down my door and demanded to know what’s going on. But at least I’d told her about the genetic testing.
I swept the Chihuahua into my arms and opened the door, only to end up with a flurry of snowflakes in my face. “Sorry.”
“Sorry?” Mike’s dark eyebrows pinched together beneath his snow-covered black hat. “You haven’t answered a text or a phone call since you went to see the doctor in Rochester. That was four days ago, Meg! And when I called the library they said you were out for the day.”
I ran my hands down my face. I’d gone in the previous two days that I’d been scheduled, but I happened to be off today and desperately needed time for zoning out on the couch. “Sorry,” I repeated, taking in a deep breath while snow continued to blow in and melt as it struck the hardwood. “The news isn’t what you expect.”
“Not what I expect?” he said, almost shouting, but his voice was more intense than loud. “How about what you expect? Are you going to have another dissection or something? Do you have a brain aneurysm?”
Oh, shit. After Dr. Davis gave me the baby news I didn’t think about how going to a vascular surgeon would worry him—worry anybody. I tucked Maya under my arm, pulled him inside, and shut out the blizzard. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
Mike pulled off his hat and gloves. “Oh, God, you don’t have cancer do you?”
I urged him onto the couch, setting Maya on my lap. “No, it’s not cancer.”
“Then what is wrong?”
The room spun. “You don’t want to know.”
“I assure you my present state of ignorance is definitely not blissful.”
That’s what he thinks . I gulped, glanced at his beautiful gray eyes, then my gaze darted to the floor. I did not deserve him. “Well, before a CT scan, they test all women of childbearing age for pregnancy.”
“Pregnancy?” he asked as if he’d never heard the word before.
“Mm hmm. And instead of having a CTA, they gave me an MRA, but I didn’t find out why until I met with Dr. Davis.”
“Wait.” The tension creasing his brow went slack as his mouth dropped open. “You’re not pregnant are you?”
I tried to breathe but only managed a strangled cry .
“You are?”
Whoa, did he just sound hopeful?
I’d better set him straight before he dashed out to his car and sped through a blizzard to set up a baby registry at Target. “That’s what Dr. Davis told me, but I can’t get in for an ultrasound for nearly three weeks.”
He cupped my cheek with the cool palm of his hand. “You don’t sound excited. I thought you wanted kids.”
“I do, it’s just—”
“You wanted to be married first?”
“Yes, but—”
“Then let’s do it.” He dropped to his knee. “Marry me, Meg. Anywhere you want. We can go big or go to Vegas.”
Holy mother, he needs to slow the fuck down!
“Wait.” Groaning, I put Maya on the floor and started to pace. I clapped the heels of my hands to my temples. Fuck, fuck, fuckety, fuck, there was no skirting around this. No making him wait two weeks and six days.
“You don’t understand!” I shook my fists. “I need to get the ultrasound to find out how far along I am.”
He stood and threw out his hands. “Of course you do.”
With a strangled cry, I slid my hands down my face, pulling my lips into a frown. “Because the baby might not be yours!”
Mike stared at me as if I’d just stabbed him in the gut. He took a couple of steps away and fell onto the couch, his head dropping forward. “Oh.” His body language expressed deflation with a capital D.
“Remember when we first started not dating?” I asked, my head swimming like I was going to faint and puke at the same time.
“You were reeling from a bad relationship.” His lips formed a thin line as he glanced away. “The douche.”
Maya jumped against my leg, asking to be picked up again. But I couldn’t draw my focus away from Mike. With every fiber in my body I wanted this baby to be his, but there was no way in hell I was going to assume anything. This was a major life event. This honest, wonderful, caring man deserved nothing but the truth, no matter how much it killed me.
Mike squinted. “Wasn’t the last time you saw him during Octoberfest?”
I nodded, relenting and picking up my dog. She was warm and furry and she loved me no matter how bad my dating decisions had been.
For once in my life I started going out with a nice man, and this happens. Mike’s going to ditch me and I will end up being one of those single moms who bakes the cookies for the PTA meetings because everyone else is too busy making dinner for their husbands.
He drummed his fingers on his knees. “But that was three months ago. Haven’t you had a sign—nausea, missed your period or something ?”
I clutched Maya beneath my chin. “I’ve never been regular. And I didn’t get morning sickness. At least not until Dr. Davis told me I was pregnant.”
The finger drumming morphed into rubbing his hands back and forth along his thighs. “Wow.”
“I know. It’s a shock—and you don’t need to hang around just because—”
“What?” Mike shot to his feet. “The baby could be mine, right?”
“What if it’s not?”
“We can’t know that until we get the ultrasound.”
“We?” I gulped. “Are you planning on going with me?”
“Absolutely, I’m going with you.”
“Right, and what if they say I’m three months preggers? What will you do then?” I reached for his hand and he snapped it away. I stood stunned. Dear God, if only he would hug me and tell me everything was going to be all right. But there was no way I could let him go to the ultrasound with me. “I think I ought to go alone—to the first one, anyway.”
Mike paced, running his fingers over his hair, then he faced me. “If it is his, he’s married, right? Are you going to tell him?”
Lance was the last person I wanted to talk to ever again in my life. “Do you think I should?”
I’d never seen Mike look grim, an edge to his jaw, his gray eyes almost black. “I can’t answer that.”
“Would you want to know you knocked up a librarian if you ran around with a fake name, telling people you were a single doctor, when you really were a married garbage man?”
“I…ah…” Mike grabbed a throw pillow off the couch and punched it. “ Fuck !”
My fingers riffled through Maya’s fur as if doing so would calm me. It did not. “I don’t think scumbags want to know about their illegitimate children.”
He tossed the pillow and squared his shoulders. “Does your mom know?”
“Not yet.”
“When are you going to tell her? ”
Maya wriggled so I reluctantly set her down. “I wanted to wait until after the ultrasound. I didn’t want to face it myself until then. For the love of God, I’ve hardly been able to think for the past four days.”
Mike dropped his head back and groaned. “Jesus, Meg.”
I twisted a lock of hair around my finger and suddenly started sobbing. I mean, I didn’t even feel the tears coming on but within a snap I was bawling my head off.
He pulled me into his arms. “We were careful.”
“I’m so-o-orry,” I cried, starting to hiccup. “I-I guess it’s the hormones.”
He kissed my forehead and took a step back. “I get it. If you don’t want me to go to your ultrasound, fine. But I’m not turning my back on you, okay?”
“K,” I managed through my sobs.
“We’ll get through this.”
I nodded, hopeful. “Y-you’re not m-mad?”
“No.” Mike surrounded me in his arms again. “Maybe a little peeved with the douche, but I really care about you. God, the first time I saw you, I said to myself, ‘that redhead is gorgeous.’ And know what?”
I shook my head against his warm chest.
“You’re smart and funny and creative, so much more than a pretty face.” With the crook of his finger, he raised my chin. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.” He gently kissed my lips. “Hey, I’m kinda dazed at the moment. I just need a little time to think this through, all right?”
“K.”
He hugged me tight, gave me another kiss, and slipped out the door.