Chapter 11 Lucy
Lucy
The sting of rejection softened a few days after Jade’s abrupt departure. A full week down, and it had almost completely disappeared. Almost. Lucy shooed away all thoughts of Jade and blamed the longing on being extra horny from the hormones.
But Lucy missed their conversations. Sure, she and Drew talked daily, but it wasn’t the same.
And yes, she had other people in her life, co-workers, acquaintances – but none that she wanted to sleep with.
Ugh. Whatever. It was a fun few weeks, and now her friendship with Jade was done. And that was that.
The clock showed it was break time. Finally.
She was tired. She’d been putting in some extra hours this past week both while troubleshooting a few account issues and making sure she stayed on upper management’s radar that she was a top contender for the expected manager spot next year.
It sucked thinking this way, but it was reality – pregnant women were often not viewed as leadership material while pregnant.
And if all goes well next week with the embryo transfer, in a few short months she’d start showing.
She couldn’t afford that any of them would forget that she locked in new accounts quicker than anyone else at this branch.
Lucy gathered her lunch bag and purse and swung by Erica’s office. ‘Hey, lady, we still want to go for our walk over lunch?’
‘Ugh, sorry. There’s an issue with the Minneapolis branch, and I’ve got to do some heavy audits before we close,’ Erica said, barely looking up from the screen.
When she did, though, her fingertips stopped clacking against the keyboard and she pushed her slipped frames back up her nose.
‘Hey, you good? You don’t look like your usual chipper self. ’
Lucy never told Erica about Jade. Sure, Erica was her work wife, but their relationship was strictly nine-to-five.
And now was not the time to talk about this low ache in her chest from how things ended the last time Lucy and Jade talked.
‘Yep, I’m good. I’ll catch ya later. Let me know if you get caught up and we’ll sneak in a fifteen-minute walk this afternoon. ’
As she pushed open the door, sunshine and a slight breeze reached Lucy’s face, and she took a moment to breathe in the fresh, non-air-conditioned air.
Fall would be here soon, and beautiful days like this would be scarce.
She plopped down on the park bench in the bank courtyard space.
She was just digging out her lunch when her phone rang.
For a split second, her heart leapt – her phone rarely rang.
Jade? Her dad called, but never during the workday.
Unless someone was in the hospital, he always said ‘no personal calls until after five’.
Lucy pulled the phone from her purse to see Drew’s name flashing on her screen. Not Jade. She swallowed back the slight disappointment and pushed out a smile, instead. ‘Why are you calling? We have a strict texting-only friendship.’ She sank her teeth into a turkey and provolone sandwich.
‘I know. I’m nervous and I hate I can’t be there.’ Drew’s voice was breathy. Most likely he was in the middle of his noon speed-walk. ‘I cannot believe they’re sending me halfway across the country for the next three days when all of this is happening.’
She tried not to roll her eyes. A bit of her missed the old Drew – calm, funny, dirty-minded Drew. His perfectionism was one for the record books, but he’d always directed it at himself, his studies, or his job. He’d taken on a whole new level of obsession since this baby journey began.
‘Dude. For real. You already said this. Like a million times. I’m fine, okay.
’ Lucy dragged the napkin down her face.
‘You’ll be back in time for the transfer, so we’re totally good.
’ Even though the transfer should be the biggest of the big deals – when they actually implant the little nugget in her belly – that part was so deeply clinical and informal that Lucy wasn’t even worried about Drew or Mason being there.
Apparently, it took hardly any time at all, like five, ten minutes, and then they sent her on her merry (hopefully pregnant) way.
It would take longer to find a parking spot for Betty Yellow.
And then, nothing except for shots for weeks until she peed on a stick to see if it took. And then … well, then, the fun began. Baby. In the belly. Holy freaking cannoli.
‘But if something happens … if the bottle breaks, or the syringe pops off, or if you hit a nerve—’
‘Whoa.’ Her spine stiffened. ‘You think I’m gonna eff this up, don’t you?’
‘What? I didn’t say that. No, I don’t. I just—’
‘You’re a control freak. I know you not being here is killing you. I promise I’ll be fine. Chillax.’ She bit into another corner and wiped her lip with her pinkie. ‘I can record a video for you to watch.’
‘Of you injecting? No, thank you. I want to maintain a healthy sex life with Mason, and the image of your white ass burned into my brain will not contribute to that.’
‘My smooth, beautiful, plump white ass, thank you very much.’ She revelled in her friend chuckling on the other side. ‘If you were with me in person, though, it’d be the same. You’d be scarred for life.’
‘Nope. Video makes it weird and creepy. In person is clinical.’
‘Whatever.’ She cracked open a bubbly juice and took a hearty gulp. ‘You excited about your trip?’
‘A software convention is not a trip. Imagine being surrounded by the most humourless humans alive. Boring as hell. But! I forgot to tell you they’re going to have a keynote speaker on system architect design within an agile framework utilising the technology of …’
Lucy fought to pay attention to what her friend was saying but quickly lost the battle. Her eyes followed a blue jay hopping from branch to branch until Drew’s throat-clearing snapped her back to reality.
‘Anyway, Mason texted that his flight changed, and he’s coming back early tonight from Phoenix, so if you need him to help, let him know.’
‘I think he’d rather die.’ She gathered her items to find shelter in the shade. ‘But it might be kind of funny to watch him squirm.’ The picture of a shaky-handed Mason holding a needle over her butt made her crack up.
All this was nerve-wracking, of course, and even though she didn’t want to admit it to Drew – no reason to freak him out more than he already was – she hadn’t been able to sleep the previous night, plagued with thoughts of the injection.
What if she did actually screw it up? What if it hurt as bad as she thought?
What if she had some sort of allergic reaction to it, and no one was there to call 911.
She breathed out, and after chatting for a few more minutes, she felt better.
Drew dropped the call to finish his speed-walk and she dropped in search of chocolate she could swipe from the lobby.
A few hours later, as she packed up her items at the end of the day, Erica knocked on her open office door. ‘Happy hour tonight. Everyone’s coming.’
Lucy powered off her computer. ‘Oh dang. I can’t. I have plans.’ To inject myself with progesterone.
‘Oooh, what’s her name?’ Erica winked and tossed her large tote purse over her shoulder.
Jade. ‘Stop it.’ Lucy forced a giggle. ‘Her name is Chucky, and he is the neediest child in the world.’
Erica shook her head. ‘Remind me never to get a dog. If you change your mind … shoot me a text and I’ll save you a spot.’
On the drive home, Lucy couldn’t shake thoughts of Jade.
Should she reach out? She really missed their conversations.
Besides Drew, she hadn’t had in-depth conversations with anyone else.
Wracking her brain, she couldn’t even think of an ex-girlfriend she’d talked to at the level she and Jade talked.
And yet … when Lucy was honest, things went south.
Yes, she had the itch to call Jade. But also, Jade was the one who had upped and left, as if Lucy had said something offensive.
Maybe she should’ve told Jade about her surrogacy arrangement sooner?
But also, was she obligated to tell everyone everything about her life the moment they met?
Honestly, how would she have even slipped that into one of their early conversations?
‘So, have you eaten at the new ramen place? I’m going to be a surrogate.
Do they put the eggs in the soup like the other place? ’
She eased up to a red light in front of her favourite indie bookstore and the new do-it-yourself ceramic place that she still hadn’t checked out, and debated for exactly five seconds if she should hop over to the left lane to drive down 7th Street.
She’d never admit it to anyone, but she’d driven on 7th twice this week and once the previous week to see if she could spot Jade.
And she went to the grocery store where they met, even though she didn’t need to buy anything.
But only once. When she didn’t see Jade in either place, she felt a rush of relief mixed with disappointment, which was unsettling and confusing, then went home upset with herself for being a creeper.
This was silly. They’d only known each other for a few weeks. The slight knot, deep in the corner of her chest, was clearly from the hormones. She turned Betty Yellow into her driveway, killed the engine, and stepped into the house.
The air conditioning blasted her face. How had she forgotten to turn that down this morning?
Chucky trotted to her, tail wagging. She tossed her keys and bag on the side table and bent down to scratch his ears. ‘Come here, baby. Were you a good boy today?’
A note on her kitchen table caught her eye.
Your house was too damn hot for the fat dog. I turned the air conditioning on higher. Also, I gave him two turkey sticks and some cheese, so lay off the treats – Dad.
‘Can’t save ’em all. And I ain’t got the energy to help,’ he had said when she rescued Chucky. And then he proceeded to stop by every day to visit.