Chapter 12 Jade #2
At the fridge, Jade shuffled a couple of leftover containers to the side and opened the drawers.
‘Can I bring you something to eat?’ She pulled out an orange, a yogurt, and a cheese stick.
She wasn’t even that hungry and didn’t want to waste Lucy’s food.
But the lingering awkwardness from the last time they hung out was still in the air, and she didn’t know if she could just come right out and say she was going to stay and monitor.
‘No, I’m good.’
With snacks and water in hand, Jade made her way back. She sat on the very edge of the couch by Lucy’s purple-glitter-covered toenails, as Chucky eyed the cheese stick in her hand. ‘Here, maybe just take a few sips of water.’
Lucy lifted herself, emptied the glass, then lay back down. She titled her head to the ceiling. ‘You know, I haven’t gotten drunk for almost a decade.’
Jade opened the cheese stick and Chucky leapt up like he heard a gunshot. In a millisecond, his eyes were wide, tail wagging, and he’d pressed himself directly against Jade’s legs. She peeked at Lucy, who nodded. Jade broke off a chunk and laid it in her palm. ‘A decade of no drinking? Why?’
‘’Cause this.’ She waved to her face. ‘I was like twenty-two, maybe twenty-three, and devoured buttery nipples all night—’
‘Not a bad way to spend a Saturday.’
‘The shot! Butterscotch liquor and Irish cream.’ She pinched the bridge of her nose and shifted.
‘We were at a casino and the carpet’s diamond pattern started spinning …
and oof. Let’s just say I ruined my shirt, a pair of shoes, and the security guard put on latex gloves before kindly escorting me out. Never again. I hate being dizzy.’
‘Oh, no.’ Jade smiled and tore the top off the yogurt.
She dug her spoon into the cream, and several moments of awkward silence stretched between them.
She probably should call out the elephant in the room, but it was the mother of all uncomfortable conversations.
‘Hey, um, I’m really sorry about the last time I was here. ’
Lucy slowly sat up and propped herself on her elbows. ‘That was a sucky night. But honestly, I probably should have told you sooner.’
‘You don’t owe me anything. I barely know you.’
Lucy looked down at her fingers and took a breath. ‘Why do you say that?’
‘That I barely know you? Because it’s true. We only met like a month ago.’
Lucy’s beautiful amber-dark eyes tapered. ‘Do you only think of how well you know someone by the length of time you’ve spent with them?’
Hmmm. How did other people measure the amount of knowing someone?
Jade had known her parents her entire life and barely knew them.
But she’d known Amanda for less than a year and felt like Amanda understood her better than most. She thought she knew her ex-wife better than anyone, but it turns out she didn’t know her at all.
‘I guess? I mean, how else do you know if you know someone?’
Lucy sat all the way up and crisscrossed her legs.
‘It took until I was in my twenties before I felt like I knew my dad. I’ve known co-workers and other friends for years, and they don’t know I’m going to be a surrogate.
They’ve certainly never seen my butt.’ She tore a chunk of orange from the peel and nibbled.
‘I don’t normally get to know people on any sort of deep level, and I feel like I know you.
At least, I know you enough that I was pretty confident when I called you for help, you’d come over. ’
Hmm. This was a lot to take in, but Jade saw the logic in Lucy’s words. Jade scooped the last bite of yogurt and set the container on the coffee table. ‘Your co-workers don’t know you’re going to be a surrogate?’
Lucy shook her head. ‘No. My dad, the fathers, and my manager all know – and my manager just knows because I had some questions about health insurance.’ She shifted on the couch and covered her leg. A soft tendril fell from her messy bun and grazed the top of her collarbone.
Jade pretended not to notice.
‘Is this your first time taking a shot?’
‘I’ve done them in my belly, but the needle was so much smaller. Like the size of a flu shot needle. I didn’t think I would freeze. Months and months spent prepping, and I just failed.’ Lucy’s eyes flickered down before she reached for another orange slice.
Zero reason existed for Lucy to feel bad. Even though her body pushed her to reach out and touch Lucy’s leg, Jade refrained.
‘Five years ago, my ex-wife bought us tickets to sky dive,’ Jade said. ‘It was a lifelong dream of mine. I took the classes, prepared myself – I was so damn excited. Went up to the plane, stood at the door, and literally became immobile.’
Lucy’s eyebrows knitted. ‘Such a bummer. Was she pissed?’
Jade chuckled. ‘You have no idea.’ Jade left out the part where she and Elizabeth drove back home in silence.
But the level of disappointment radiating from her wife was nothing compared to the self-loathing Jade felt.
By that point in their relationship, it felt like Jade did something at least once a week that let her wife down.
Lucy’s eyelashes grazed her cheeks as she looked down. Suddenly, Jade had so many questions. Had Lucy ever had her heart broken? Who was her first love? Why did there seem to be a flicker of sadness behind her eyes even when she was giggling?
‘I’m feeling better.’ Lucy stood up and readjusted her robe.
If that wasn’t an invitation to leave, Jade didn’t know what was. Her heart dropped to her toes. What was she thinking, anyway? Because she performed a kind act, she was now some purple-haired knight in shiny cosmetology armour, and therefore deserved more of Lucy’s time?
Jade gathered her things. She couldn’t help but take one last look at Lucy in her pink robe with her toes sticking out. She moved to the door, ignoring the way her belly churned, ignoring the way the robe wrapped around Lucy’s curves.
Lucy bounced on her tiptoes and chewed the side of her lip. After a moment passed, she gripped the front door and swung it open. ‘Thanks again. For real. Super, super cool of you to help me.’
‘Of course.’ The warm night air engulfed Jade as she walked to the car.
On the drive home, her mind wandered to what a strange, and yet almost familiar, evening it had been.
As awkward and odd as the last hour was, it also wasn’t.
Which was confusing as hell, and she didn’t know how to decipher the conflicting feelings.
She rolled up her driveway and pushed her car into park when her phone pinged.
Lucy: You saw my butt.
Jade grinned.
Jade: In all fairness, it was more butt-ish. Just the side. And I wasn’t looking, anyway.
Lucy: Rude.
Jade chortled. She actually wanted to say that she shouldn’t have looked but did, that touching Lucy’s skin was electric, and Lucy smelled nice, and her house was homey, and Jade kind of wanted to curl up with Lucy’s chunky knitted blanket and fall asleep next to the dog.
Instead, she hovered her fingers over the screen.
Jade: Goodnight.
And that little tingle that Jade had been fighting with, trying so hard to ignore, sprung back up. But this time, no matter how hard she tried, it refused to disappear.