29. I Can’t Be Gentle Right Now
I Can’t Be Gentle Right No w
Missy
‘Morning, Kacey.’
I beam as I walk into Chopped to see Kacey setting up her station. I hand her the coffee I just picked her up from the diner, which she gratefully takes.
Saturday was opening day, but today is the first real day of work. I decided that our weekend would be Sunday and Monday, so on this beautifully crisp Tuesday morning, I have a spring in my step and a book full of appointments.
Forest Falls showed up for me on Saturday, and the appointments cramming our book show they intend to keep showing up. The barber shop closed a few years ago, and there’s never been a salon tailored toward women’s hair here, so they are excited not to have to drive out of town to get a little pampering done.
‘This is a great little town, Missy,’ Kacey observes, and I nod.
‘It really is. I love it here.’
Smiling, I sit in the chair at my station and sip my coffee. I really feel at home here. Jonah is settled in school, the apartment is perfect, and now the shop is open. I haven’t seen Nick since Saturday, when he left the opening to go to work himself. Lynnie offered to have Jonah and Bo so I could go celebrate with my friends, but honestly, I was just so tired that I wanted to curl up and watch a Disney movie with my baby, then have an early night. I thought I might have seen him on Sunday or yesterday, but he stayed away. Half of me is glad for the brain space. He’s very hard to say no to when he’s right in front of me looking all kinds of perfect. The other half, though, she misses him.
Enough of that. I have work to do.
‘Okay, let’s get going.’
Standing, I move to rinse out my coffee cup, pop in a breath mint, and open up the doors.
‘Oh my god, I love this town.’ Kacey drops down into her seat and laughs. ‘The gossip is unmatched. Please never take Mrs. Abernathy from me.’
I chuckle as Emma, the eighteen-year-old salon assistant, sweeps away the hair, and I set about cleaning up my station. It’s lunchtime, and for the first couple of weeks, I’ve made sure we have no appointments over lunch so that we can all go to eat together and get to know one another a little.
‘Come on, let’s go eat.’
We all grab our purses and head for the door just as it opens, and Mr. Barber Senior walks in.
‘Mr. Barber, hey.’ I smile, gesturing for Kacey and Emma to go on ahead.
‘Hi, Missy, are you heading out?’
‘Oh, we were just going to the diner, but that’s okay. What can I do for you?’
‘Well, I thought I’d come down and see what you’d done with the place, thought maybe I could squeeze in a haircut too, but if you’re busy…’
‘No, not at all. Sit.’ I guide him to my station and put down my purse, pulling out my phone and sending a quick text to Kacey to explain and ask her to bring me back a sandwich.
‘This is quite something, Missy.’ Mr. Barber looks around, taking it all in. ‘It’s a totally different place.’
‘Yeah. I hope you like it. I love it so much.’
‘It’s beautiful. It’s nice to see it open and breathing again.’
I smile as I turn his chair and stand behind him, our eyes meeting in the mirror.
‘What can I do for you then? Just trim it up all over? ’
‘Yep, exactly, just tidy things up. It’s been a while since anybody but me has cut it.’
‘Okay, I got you.’
Mr. Barber chats easily as I cut his hair. He tells me the history of the shop and his family here in Forest Falls, and it’s fascinating to know. I see how much that legacy means to him, and I can’t help but wonder how he felt about Nick following a different path.
‘Okay, that’s all done, what do you think?’
He leans forward, inspecting the cut, and smiles. ‘Fine work, Missy. Great job.’
He smiles and stands and pulls out his wallet, and I wave him away. ‘No, no. This one’s on me.’
‘What the hell are you doing here?’
I don’t have time to react to the door opening as Nick bursts in, glaring at his father.
‘ Nick! ’ I scold him for his interruption, but his eyes are fixed on Mr. Barber.
‘Oh, don’t you worry, Missy. I’m used to his tone. Nicholas. Good to see you, son.’
Nick laughs, but it’s not the usual deep, warm hug that his laugh is — it’s tight, cold.
‘I asked you a question, Dad . What are you doing here?’
‘Well, Missy here was treating me to a trim.’ Mr. Barber smiles, and Nick steps closer.
‘Are you okay?’ He directs the question to me with concern in his eyes, and I nod, yes, but can’t seem to speak as he turns back to his dad. ‘You need to leave.’
‘Nick,’ I barely say his name, shocked at how he’s speaking to his father.
‘Nicholas, watch your mouth.’
The change in Mr. Barber has me taking a step back. His smile falls, his expression hardens, the lightness in his voice is gone, and he speaks slowly, his words clipped and devoid of the warmth he had while speaking to me.
‘This isn’t your shop anymore. You have no reason to be here. Leave,’ Nick practically growls.
‘You have a son, don’t you, Missy?’ I nod yes. ‘You need to take a firm hand while he’s young, or he’ll turn out like this.’ He points at Nick, and my jaw drops. ‘Insolent, head in the clouds, interesting ideas. You make sure he knows now what you expect of him.’
‘A firm hand, really?’ Nick spits. ‘Your firm hand is exactly the reason I fuckin’ hate you.’
Mr. Barber steps toward Nick, his fist clenched, and I get it now. As Nick stands strong, refusing to back away, I see his resolve, and it all makes sense.
‘He’s a disappointment. Gave up our legacy for puppies and kittens because he’s soft, always was. Such a waste.’ He scrutinizes his son with disgust twisting his features at the same time as it twists my gut. ‘You take a firm hand with that boy, Missy. Heed my warning.’
‘Excuse me?’ I tilt my head, unable to believe the change in the man in front of me or the words coming out of his mouth. ‘If my son turns out to be half the man that Nick is, I’ll be a very proud mom, Mr. Barber.’ He turns to me, his jaw clenched, and I smile sweetly. ‘Your son, I suspect, despite your special brand of parenting, has turned out to be the kindest, most loving, sweet man I’ve ever met. Now I’m going to have to ask you to leave.’
‘What?’
‘You come into my shop and disrespect my friends — that’s a problem for me.’
‘This shop has been in my family for generations. You don’t get to tell me to leave, girl.’
‘Oh, yes, I do, actually. You gave me that right when you sold the place.’ I point to the door, ‘Your welcome here has been revoked.’
He glares at me, but my attention comes to Nick who looks ready to pounce at any second. When his dad steps close to him, I tense, expecting one or both of them to blow, but neither do.
I notice the tension in Mr. Barber as he clearly doesn’t know what move to make, so I step toward the door and open it.
‘Mr. Barber, thank you for coming to Chopped today. I appreciated the history lesson, but now it’s a new era. For the record, as you’re walking away from this old building that you no longer lay any claim to, I need you to understand something. Raising a child is not about shaping them to be who you want them to be. It’s supporting them in their dreams, keeping them safe and happy. You failed, Mr. Barber, but somehow, your son turned out wonderful anyway. Sadly, I suspect you’ll never get to know just how much. Now, I would like you to leave.’
Nick steps aside and Mr. Barber, with his glare boring into me walks into the doorway, and stops, just for a moment, then walks away.
‘ Fuck! ’ Nick yells, and I flinch.
He walks away from me, to the back of the salon, his back to me as I close the door.
‘Nick, are you okay?’
He laughs, that same humorless laugh I heard before.
‘I need to go.’
Turning quickly, he walks toward me and the door, and I put my hands on his biceps, stepping in front of him to halt him in his escape .
‘No, don’t run away from me. I need to know you’re okay.’
‘No, I’m not fuckin’ okay, Missy. It’s humiliating.’
‘What?’ I breathe the word, surprised, and bring my hands down to his, then pull him toward my office, out of view of the passing public.
‘I need to leave, Miss.’
‘No, you need to sit.’
Nick huffs out an exhale and drops into my chair, and I drop to my knees in front of him, bringing my palm to his cheek.
‘The only person who should be embarrassed right now is your father.’
‘He’s not the one who needed you to fight his battles.’
I sit back, my brows knitting together.
‘I wasn’t fighting your battles, and the only reason I felt strong enough to say anything is because I knew you had me.’
‘I’m not a little boy anymore.’ The way he says the words as if he’s saying them to himself, not me, breaks my heart.
‘I meant what I said. I think you’re wonderful, Nick.’
He raises his gaze to meet mine, and I see the pain in his expression. This beautiful, strong, tall, muscular man has been reduced to a scared kid just by his father's presence.
I could tell him. I should tell him that I know how the back of a fist against my skin feels, that I know the squeeze of a hand around my throat and the brutal sting of abuse firsthand, but I don’t. Instead, I stand and lean back against my desk.
‘What do you need?’
He shakes his head, and I reach under my dress, pulling down my underwear and stepping out of them. I see his eyes widen at the surprise of lace when he’s so used to me in boxers, but he doesn’t say anything.
‘Take back control, Nick. Show me — take what you need.’
‘Missy…’ There’s hesitation in his voice, so I start to pull up my dress. I need him to know that I still see him the same way. I still see the gorgeous man I always did. I need him to feel that.
His hands come up to grip my wrists and he stands, then closes the office door and turns the lock. I glance up at the clock. We have about fifteen minutes until Kacey and Emma are back.
‘Turn around.’ His deep, commanding tone thrills me, and I do as he says. ‘Hands on the desk.’
As I follow his instructions, he raises up my skirt and brings his fingers to my pussy. I shudder at the contact as he starts to stroke me, grazing my clit with not enough pressure and too quick passes that I know are on purpose.
He slowly circles my entrance, then pushes a thick finger in, making my head loll forward and a loud exhale escape my lips. He pulls out his finger and pushes it back in a couple of times before he pushes two in, stretching me and forcing a sigh from my mouth.
His wallet hits the desk, and he opens it one-handed, pulling out a condom, and I hear the rip of the packet as he uses his teeth to open it while he pumps his fingers in and out of me slowly. His fingers leave my body, and I glance back to see him rolling on the condom, his scrub pants pulled down just enough for him to pull his dick out, and I bite my lip in anticipation. I was prepared to stay away, to stop this thing between us, but there’s not a part of this man I don’t want, not a part of him that doesn’t turn me all the way on.
‘I can’t be gentle right now,’ he warns as he lines up the head of his dick and pushes in just a little.
‘Take what you need,’ I repeat as I brace my hands on the desk, and Nick’s hands grip my hips as he pushes in, pulling me back and giving me just a moment to adjust to the stretch before he pulls out and slams back in .
A cry escapes me, and my elbows buckle, but he doesn’t stop. His fingers grip my hips harder as he pulls me back to meet his relentless thrusts.
‘Fuck, Missy,’ he hisses, and I clench in response to his tone. ‘Touch your clit while I fuck you,’ he commands, and I lower my chest, leaning down on one bent arm while I reach my other hand down between my legs. ‘I need you to come. I need to feel it.’
Well, okay then.
The second my fingers make contact with my clit, with him driving deep into me, my eyes close, and pleasure erupts through me.
‘ God , Nick.’ I pant, and he pushes me against the desk harder. I’m going to bruise. I know it, but I don’t care. These aren't the same bruises I'm used to, these won't mean what they always did. I just need him to feel in control — that’s all I care about right now.
‘Come, Missy. Need you to come.’
His command rips through me, and I come undone, letting go and feeling the ecstasy of release as I moan and tremble and relish in the feel of him taking from my body.
I’m aware of him stilling behind me as my body tingles, and I notice the emptiness as he pulls out of me, but I can’t stand up yet. I can’t trust that my legs will hold me up.
‘I’m sorry if I hurt you.’ His voice is quiet, and I turn, leaning back against the desk.
‘You didn’t.’ His words hit me like a ton of bricks as I take in the expression in his eyes. Bax never said that. He hurt me on purpose time after time and never apologized.
Nick pulls his pants back into position and steps close, and I wrap my arms around him as he presses a soft kiss to my forehead.
‘I should get back to work.’ He leans back to hold my gaze as he inhales deeply, and panic hits me. I have feelings for this man: deep, intense, protective feelings.
‘Me too.’ I smile and pull down my skirt.
‘Miss…’
‘It’s okay, Nick. We’re good.’
I reach out to unlock the door, and with one last glance back at me, he leaves, and I swallow hard. I have to end this before I break both our hearts.