40. He Saw You Keep Him Safe
He Saw You Keep Him Safe
Missy
I wish I could enjoy this, I think, as I wake up in the way too big, far too comfy bed: Nick’s bed. I wish I could enjoy waking up in Nick’s bed, in his clothes, but the onslaught of memories and the pain in my body won’t let me do that.
Instead, I reach out on both sides, realizing I’m alone and tamping down the tendrils of panic.
I’m safe. Nick keeps me safe.
Bax came back, and he wanted to end me. There was something in the way he looked at me, the way he spoke that told me he was done. He didn’t want my pain anymore. He wanted me gone.
Jonah ! Sitting up abruptly, I turn and see a note on the side table.
Miss, you’re safe. Your phone is in the living room. Take this water and these pills if you can swallow them. If not, the Tylenol is still in the kitchen. I need to run. The door will be locked. Jonah is at Doug’s and happy to be there. Rest, honey. Nick x
Safe. I’m safe.
I manage to take the pills, then consider getting my phone but decide against it. I’m exhausted, and I don’t want to move if I don’t have to.
Shuffling back down into Nick’s bed I pull his pillow to me, wrapping my arms around it, resting my head on it the way I fell asleep on his chest last night, and the comfort and tiredness take me back into it's hold.
The soft click of the door has me opening my eyes to see Nick padding across his bedroom with just a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair is wet, and he has his back to me. He’s trying to be quiet, to not wake me, and he doesn’t realize he’s too late, so I take the opportunity to just watch him for a moment.
This man. This beautiful, sweet man.
The muscles in his back twist as he moves, getting what he needs from his chest of drawers. He drops the towel, his back still to me, thank the lord, as he pulls on some boxers and then some sweats, and my attention remains on his butt. You could bounce a coin off that thing!
He turns and catches me watching him, and a shy, sexy grin spreads across his face.
‘You could have told me you were awake.’
‘I was too busy looking at your butt.’
The easy flirtation makes the corner of his mouth lift, but he doesn’t reciprocate. Instead, he moves toward the bed, leaning down toward me.
‘We’ll circle back to that in a few days.’
He kisses my head and stands, and like a lovesick fool, I feel disappointed.
‘Or we could just discuss it right now,’ I comment hopefully as he stands and pulls on a shirt.
‘A few days, honey. You just went through something traumatic. It’s not the time, but we will circle back.’ He smiles softly. ‘And, in the meantime, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, and I’ve got you. Also, Bree’s here.’
My lips part, and I remember that my friend hauled my ex away in handcuffs last night.
‘Is she in uniform?’
Nick nods. ‘Yeah, she’s here on business.’
Fuck. She needs a statement. She needs me to tell her everything, and I don’t want to.
‘If you don’t want to get dressed, there are hoodies in the closet, sweatpants too, help yourself.’
He smiles and leaves the room, and I remember that he came in here in a towel. That means Bree saw him mostly naked, and that thought lightens my mood, as I know we’ll be circling back to that .
‘Hey.’ Bree stands from her seat at Nick’s table as I leave his bedroom. I took him up on the offer of a hoodie but stayed in his shorts. I see the way her eyes widen as her attention falls to my hair. ‘Oh my,’ she exhales, ‘your hair.’
‘Nick cut it.’ It doesn’t explain anything, but I don’t have energy for more.
The way he took care of me last night sealed the deal for me. He’s wonderful. I have to keep him — letting him go is not an option for me.
Bree’s eyes move across my face, fixing on my mouth and the damage Bax inflicted there.
‘I’m here as chief,’ she remarks, almost apologetically. ‘I need to get some information from you so I can keep him behind bars.’ Her lips press together, and I know she’s trying so hard to remain professional. ‘Do, you want to go over to your place so we can talk in private?’
I turn to look back at Nick, and the expression on his face is, well, kind of blank until he meets my eyes, and I read him, whatever you need, honey, I’m here.
‘Can we stay here? Nick, is that okay?’
‘Of course.’ He nods yes. ‘I can leave?’
‘No,’ I say in a panic. ‘Stay, please.’ I meet his gaze and hope he can see that I don’t want to be away from him. With a soft smile, he makes his way over to me and takes the seat next to me and then my hand. I notice Bree’s attention drop to the connection before she raises her gaze to my eyes, and the questions begin.
‘Will he get out?’
Nick grits out the question as we all stand, and Bree prepares to leave. I told her — and because he was there, Nick — everything. Every single thing that man subjected me to. Nick wrapped his arm around my shoulders and white-knuckled the edge of the table with the other hand.
‘I’m going to do my damndest to make sure he doesn’t, honey. Your honesty here,’ she gestures to the notes she just took, ‘makes for pretty fuckin’ disgusting reading. I’m a small-town police chief, so I can’t make you any promises, but I’m going to make some calls, and I’ll do everything I can.’
I appreciate her candidness, and I gratefully accept as she opens her arms to pull me into a hug.
‘Something tells me he wouldn’t get within a hundred feet of you and Jonah even if he did.’
She releases me and nods toward Nick and I give a small smile in response, but I can’t relax into it, knowing there are no guarantees.
As I close the door and turn, Nick paces away from me and toward the bedroom without a word. The door closes behind him, and I stand still for a moment before following.
When I get there, I find him folding laundry way more aggressively than I’d expect or than the task dictates.
‘Nick,’ I say softly from the doorway, but he doesn’t answer. I watch as he folds, unfolds, and folds again before throwing the jeans in his hands against the wall and making me flinch.
‘Sorry, shit, Miss. I’m sorry.’ The words rush out of him as he steps toward me, then away, and sits on the bed, his head in his hands .
I step toward him, moving until I find myself in front of him and lower to my knees so I can find his eyes with mine.
‘Honey,’ I say softly, reaching up for his hands.
‘I tried. I tried to stop him.’ He squeezes his eyes closed, forcing tears out from under his eyelids. I don’t speak. I can’t speak as my own tears well, and emotion steals my voice. ‘I begged him, time and time again to stop. I put my body in front of hers, but he just pushed me aside and beat me until I wouldn’t be a problem anymore. He knew my brother would protect me, pull me away, but nobody protected her.’ I can’t hold back my tears as I look up at the broken little boy in front of me. ‘She stayed, she always stayed. She could have got us out like you did for Jonah, but she refused. She would protect him even while she lay on the floor with torn clothes and a bloodied nose.’
I inhale shakily as I listen. I’ll never understand her not wanting to protect her son, but the rest, I get. I protected Bax. I hid his abuse from everyone, and I stayed.
‘I hate that he did those things to you, Missy.’
He reaches his hand up to my cheek, and his sad eyes hold mine.
‘I’m going to be okay.’
‘I know. You’re the strongest fuckin’ person I have ever met.’ His hand slides around to the back of my neck, and he guides me forward until I’m sitting on one of his strong thighs. ‘You already saved yourself,’ he says gruffly, looking me over with wonder in his eyes.
‘What?’ I ask, confused, reaching up my hand to his wrist.
‘I always thought I needed to save her, be a hero for her, and once I knew he hurt you, I wanted to be that for you, but you don’t need saving. You don’t need a hero. You got out, Missy — you did that. I don’t need to save you. I just want to walk beside you.’
Inhaling deeply, I close my eyes and let his words sink in. I’m sore and exhausted from the trauma of last night. My head and shoulders ache with the tension of reliving the past.
‘Nick,’ I breathe, and he gets it.
‘We’ll circle back, honey.’
I bring my forehead to his, and we breathe the same air for a moment, and then it hits me. I don’t want to protect Bax the way Nick’s mom protected his dad. He doesn’t deserve it.
‘I want Jonah,’ I admit, and pulling back to look at me, Nick nods, then picks up his phone from beside him on the bed and texts Doug .
‘Is this wrong?’ I ask as I pace the floor in my apartment as Nick watches me from my sofa.
‘Is what wrong?’
‘Letting him see me like this.’ I gesture to my face, thankful that Nick’s hoodie hides the bruises around my neck.
‘Only you can make that call, Miss, but I think he’s probably going to be wondering where you are and missing you like crazy by now.’
‘Right, you’re right.’ I’m agreeing when there’s a knock at the door, and I turn to Nick. ‘Can you answer it?’
Without question or annoyance, Nick rises and moves to open my door, and my heart stops as my baby runs in — then freezes.
‘Mama,’ he gasps, and I lower to kneel on the floor.
‘It’s okay, baby. I’m okay.’
I hold out my arms to him as Nick talks to Doug and Cara. They don’t come in. I guess they know I need time with Jonah.
Jonah turns to Nick with thunder in his eyes.
‘Did you hurt Mama?’ he asks, shocking me, and I turn to see Nick freeze, his mouth falling open like a fish out of water.
‘Baby, no . Why would you think that?’
‘Because when Daddy was your boyfriend, he hurt you, and now Nick is your boyfriend.’
Wow, there’s a lot to unpack there.
‘Oh, Jonah, no. Nick didn’t hurt me,’ I turn back to look at him briefly, then back to my son. ‘You knew Daddy hurt me?’
He nods sadly. ‘I saw him.’
I hang my head, heartbroken. I didn’t know that.
‘Jonah, it was your daddy who hurt me this time as well, but I’m okay. Nick stopped him, and Auntie Bree took him away.’
‘To jail?’
I nod, yes. ‘Yeah, Jonah, to jail. He’s never going to hurt me again, okay?’ He throws himself at me, his arms around my neck.
‘I don’t ever want to see him, Mama.’
‘You never need to see him again, Jonah.’
I make a promise I hope I can keep as my son pulls back and touches my hair. ‘Where did your hair go?’
I smile. ‘I felt like a change. Do you like it?’ I ask, and he smiles, so I do the same. ‘Sweetie, you can go and play, and I’ll make you some lunch, okay?’
He runs off to his room and I turn to find Nick, arms folded, watching me.
‘I didn’t know he’d seen anything.’ My bottom lip wobbles with the emotion threatening to burst out of me and Nick steps forward, toward me .
‘He saw you pick him up and leave, honey. He saw you keep him safe and trust me, from a little boy who didn't get that from his mom, that is everything. You're his hero.’
He opens his arms to me, and I step into them, letting him hold me.
‘Do you feel like getting out of town for a few days?’ I pull back to look up at him, wondering what he means. ‘Kacey said she can take care of everything in the salon, and Lance can run the clinic. I have somewhere I want to take you and Jonah — get some peace and quiet.’
I take a few seconds to think about it before smiling and nodding yes.
‘That sounds perfect.’