Chapter 14
Pain rips through the left side of my body as I try to see my sister. “Hold my hand.”
I hear something at my side, and I shift to find out what it is. I attempt to raise my left arm, and I can’t. I blink but I can’t see anything except a gloved hand come toward me and then everything is black.
“London!” A shout jars me from what I was seeing in my sleep.
Dash sits up from beside me as we both meet Hendrix’s angry stare.
“Hendrix, wh-what are you doing?” I ask, still disoriented from what I was dreaming.
His stare bores into mine, but he remains silent as he clenches and unclenches his fist at his side.
“Say something,” I plead.
Dash starts to get out of the bed and Hendrix focuses on Dash’s bare chest and then travels to his boxers.
He doesn’t say anything, he just turns and leaves the bedroom.
I jump out of bed as quickly as I can while the pain I’ve unfortunately become accustomed to screams in protest and chase after him, even though I’m not very fast and still limping.
I grab his hand once I’m close enough as he’s about to reach for the front door to leave, and he stops but doesn’t face me.
“Look at me, Hendrix,” I beg.
He faintly squeezes my hand as I feel Dash’s presence somewhere behind us.
“Did you sleep with him?” he asks.
My chin wobbles at his question but my silence answers for me. He tries to pull free from my grasp, but I hold on to him tighter.
“Don’t leave like this, Hendrix,” I beg harder with tears streaming down my face.
“I won’t watch you hand your heart to him, London. That’s not who I am.”
“But we’re still not sure—”
He cuts me off and faces me this time. “You seem to think you know who you are for sure. But until we have concrete evidence that you’re not London, it’s who you are to me.
Do you understand? So, in my mind, I just saw the woman I’m in love with half naked and in bed with another man.
What do you want me to do? Give you my blessing to sleep with him while we don’t know the truth, even though it points to you being my… ”
He trails off and glances at Dash behind us before his gaze drops to the floor.
I can’t stop the trail of salty tears continuing to drip from my chin.
“Someone knows the truth, Hendrix. They’re taunting me and all of us with it.”
He takes both of my hands in his. “The truth I know is I saw London the night of the accident. She was wearing what you came into the hospital wearing. She was covering for Lennon, so she was driving her car. It all points to you being London. I know someone may be messing with you…with all of us. And I know something more happened that night than what anyone but you, your sister, and this stalker knows. But short of you remembering those details and who you are for yourself, I believe you are London.”
He takes my face gently in his hands. “Until you remember, I’ll continue loving you as London.”
He kisses my forehead but doesn’t wipe away my tears this time. He starts to leave again, but I can’t let him go like this.
I turn to Dash and wipe my face. “Can you give us some time to talk?”
Dash swallows and his shoulders drop like he was hoping I wouldn’t say that. But he doesn’t argue, he just goes back into the bedroom to grab his clothes and shoes. He’s fully dressed when he comes back out.
Hendrix has moved into the living room and is staring out the window at the birds as they chirp in the morning sun.
Dash stops in front of me with a defeated expression. He leans his head against mine.
“I know you have to do what you feel is right, Valkyrie. I won’t ask you to betray what your heart remembers and what it tells you. But don’t forget the last few hours as you navigate the wreckage we’re all trapped in,” he whispers.
“I could never,” I whisper as he smiles against my cheek.
“Call me when you can. I won’t be far. Stay safe while I’m gone. Someone is playing a dangerous game while we’re scrambling to find the truth.”
He kisses my cheek and acknowledges Hendrix with a nod before exiting the apartment. It’s odd but even as they each want to be the one who holds my heart, they both understand the other in a way no one else could, what has been lost and what they still stand to lose once we learn who I am.
My chest literally aches for all of us.
“Why did you sleep with him? How do I forget that?” he asks as soon as we’re alone.
“Hendrix. I know you believe I’m London, and it’s true, I could be. But what if I’m not? It would mean I didn’t betray you or anyone else. It would mean I slept with the man I love.”
He faces me. “If you’re London though, then you betrayed me and Lennon both. Do you really think she’d want you to be with the man she loved?”
I step closer because I hear him, and I’ve almost made myself sick wondering the same, but I need him to hear me too. “How would you feel if I get my memories back and they belong to Lennon?”
He covers his mouth with his hand and shakes his head. “I don’t know how to answer.”
I hold my arms open as much as my left one allows to signal I’m waiting on a better answer.
“Look me in the eyes and answer me, Hendrix. Would you still want me if I turn out to be Lennon after all?”
He quickly closes the distance between us and pulls my face up toward his as his gaze searches mine.
“Yes, I think I would.” He closes his eyes for a moment and then says, “Please forgive me, but I would because you’re still part of her.
If it turns out that way, you still look like her on the outside and you would be carrying so many pieces of her in here,” he says letting his hand slide down to my chest between my breasts where my heart beats loud enough I think we both hear it.
I can’t stop the tears that spill faster from my eyes because part of me doesn’t understand the answer at all but the other part of me totally does and it’s heartbreaking.
I know it’d never be his first choice to be without London, but he gave me an honest answer based on the thought of her being gone and not wanting to completely be without her as messed up as it sounds.
This is similar to the conversation I had with Dash hours earlier, but I gave in to how my heart was making me feel.
And while I still feel exactly the same as I did then, I can’t be sure of who I am.
Just because I caught glimpses of my past, those quick snapshots don’t prove my identity.
We shared everything and the memory was too generic and almost more of a familiar feeling than a clear image.
Hendrix’s lips crash down on mine before I can form my next thought. He kisses me with an urgency I can feel vibrating beneath my fingertips resting on his arms.
He leads us to the couch and gently lowers us down. His lips and hands are touching and exploring as he whispers in my ear, “I need you, beautiful.”
My mind is screaming at me to stop this.
I slept with Dash just last night. I don’t remember which name belongs to me, but I do know neither of us would sleep with two different guys within hours of each other.
Especially with the emotional entanglements this comes with.
But this situation is anything but typical.
He pulls the oversized T-shirt from my body and cups my breast in one hand and takes the other in his mouth before my mind can protest further.
A moan escapes my throat as he continues his seductive torture. He pauses long enough to unbutton his shirt and toss it across the room before continuing to explore my body. His touch makes my back arch off the couch.
“H-Hendrix,” I manage to get out as his hand travels lower and finds my center after moving my panties to the side.
“We shouldn’t,” I say breathily as he continues driving me close to the edge with his fingers like he knows my body better than I do.
The thought confuses me. How is it possible for me to come alive under his touch this way if I didn’t already have a connection to him?
What if he’s right? What if what I thought I felt when I remembered the GTO was all wrong?
What if I’m London just like the accident report led us to believe initially?
It would mean I did the unthinkable and slept with my sister’s boyfriend, something I would never knowingly do. But this situation is so messed up, and I knew it was a risk when I did it, but in my heart, in that moment, I believed more than anything I was Lennon.
Before my mind can circle the drain of guilt further, my back arches off the couch as I break apart under Hendrix’s expert touch.
“That’s right. Come back down to me, baby. Look me in the eyes. I need to know you’re with me,” he says huskily while drawing my pleasure out.
“I’m with you, Hendrix. But we can’t go any further. I’m sorry. Not until we know the truth,” I manage to say as I come back down to earth.
He nods even as he looks like he could explode if I so much as brushed against him. But like the gentleman I know he is, he stands and then hands me my shirt back before scooping his from the floor and pushing his arms through the sleeves.
“I have physical therapy right before lunch. Do you want to take me?” I ask, still trying to catch my breath.
“Yeah, I’ll take you. You seem to be getting around better. Are you in any pain?” he asks.
“Yes, it hurts. But I’m pushing through it. Chasing my memories seems more important than licking my wounds,” I tell him.
He pauses buttoning his shirt and sits back down beside me on the couch where I’m now covered by my oversized shirt.
“What do you mean?”
I tuck a lock of hair behind my ear and face him. “I found the keys to Lennon’s GTO, and I remembered it. Then, I took it for a little drive,” I admit while closing one eye.
He blinks a few times before shaking his head. “What do you mean, you remembered it?”
“I saw flashes of the past but not enough to tell whose eyes I was seeing it through. It was mostly a familiar feeling. I feel like I’m on the cusp of remembering, Hendrix.”
He rests his elbows on his knees and stares at his clasped hands. “That sounds promising. Really. I’m happy for you,” he says. And I believe him, but I know he’s scared.
“You seemed to accept the possibility of me being Lennon at the hospital when I collapsed after seeing the car. What changed your mind?”
He sighs. “I do accept it as a possibility. But I need facts. I need evidence. And it all points to London being alive. And that means she’s you.”
“I know you were going to propose to her,” I admit softly.
His head jerks my way.
“I found it in Lennon’s journal. She helped you pick a ring.”
“It’s true. I had the whole thing planned out,” he says.
I don’t know what else to say, so I kiss his cheek and start down the hall to the bedroom to change for my physical therapy appointment.
I check my phone to see what time it is and find a text message waiting from an unknown number.
Can’t believe you’re stringing them both along. What a little slut. What would your sister think? Don’t worry though, your secrets are safe with me.
I drop my phone on the bed and swallow hard, trying to push down the fear this person is determined to cause.
Once I’m changed for therapy, I make my way back toward the kitchen. Hendrix watches me as I run my hand over the marble countertops. My gaze stops on a drawer in the corner.
“What is it, London?” he asks.
“The cookie drawer,” I say as I reach the drawer and pull it open, finding all the dry base ingredients and measuring cups for the perfect cookie recipes.
Hendrix smiles. “Yeah. You and Lennon always loved to try different cookies, but you always came back to your chocolate chip recipe.”
“A classic,” we both say at the same time.
I can remember the drawer always being ready to make cookies on a whim, and I can see myself doing it if I close my eyes.
Both London and Lennon call to me. I just pray I can be fair to who I am and who she is while I’m figuring it out for all of us.