Chapter 39
DASH
Iwake up to Lennon’s dark hair across my bare chest and I pull her closer.
“Good morning, Valkyrie.”
She makes the cutest sound and squeezes me playfully.
“Good morning.”
I drop a kiss to the top of her head and soak up this moment as long as possible.
Last night, the first time we had sex, it wasn’t exactly about making love, it was about needing her because I missed her for far too long.
It was our bodies reconnecting. Later, we took it slow and made love as our souls reconnected.
But now, in the morning light, it’s time to talk about us and what this all means. We’ve been trying and mostly failing it would seem, to be as discreet as possible. Especially, after her telling Lincoln about us and him then banning her from seeing me…even though we never stopped.
She draws something on my chest as she starts to speak. “I’m sorry, Dash,” she says.
“For what?” I ask, genuinely confused about what she might be apologizing for.
“For accusing you of having something to do with the accident. For thinking for a second you could be my stalker. It’s no excuse, but all the memories of that night came rushing back the moment I saw your headlights in my rearview.
It was a knee-jerk reaction as I was still climbing out of the hazy fog of my mind.
I can’t ever take back what I said to you.
I can’t imagine what that must’ve felt like.
I’ll always be sorry I reacted instead of trusting you enough to talk through it with you,” she says as I feel something warm hit my chest.
I pull her up closer to me so I can look her in the eye.
“Lennon, I don’t blame you for saying anything you said. I’m the one who can’t fathom what losing your memories and your twin sister at the same time must be like, not to mention being unable to remember who you really were. I accept your apology. It’s done and forgotten,” I tell her.
Her gaze shifts away from mine and lands on my chest.
“I’m afraid the look of hurt and betrayal on your face is something I won’t ever forget, Dash. I did that to you when all you did was stay by my side and try to help me…and love me,” she says.
I tip her chin back up and make her face me.
“Lennon Shay Tyler. What you’ve been through is anything but typical.
There isn’t a guide for regaining your memories after they were practically stolen from you in the first place, much less how to act when the most devastating ones flood you all at once.
I won’t deny, it hurt, but I know why you said what you did.
Thank you for apologizing, but it’s all right.
The truth is out now and it’s all that matters.
We can move past it…if you’ll take my hand and navigate through this life with me,” I tell her.
“How can you say I’m forgiven after all the emotions I put you through?”
“Because I love you, Lennon. You’re my Valkyrie and I knew you’d fight your way back to me, even if I acted like a fool for the last couple months,” I add.
She laughs. “Yeah, what was up with you staying away from me? I don’t understand why you thought anyone else could give me the only thing I could ever want and only you could give.”
“What’s that?” I ask.
“Your love, Dash. To be loved by you and spend the rest of my life beside you. It’s all I want.”
“That’s all I want too, Valkyrie. I want to drive through this life with you. But I don’t want to race through it, I want the slow and scenic route,” I tell her as I pull her on top of me.
Her bangs have almost grown out now, but they’re still short enough to need to stay tucked behind her ear if she expects them not to fall into her face.
“You never told me why you cut your bangs.”
She closes her eyes for a moment. “I was trying to hide. From Jackson, although I didn’t know it was him at the time. From you and from the world. But honestly, mostly from myself.”
“Why would you ever try to hide a thing, Valkyrie?” I ask.
Her lower lip trembles before she pins me with her pain-filled, watery gaze.
“I wanted to separate myself somehow, from who I was. From who I used to be before the accident. And I was ashamed…” She falls silent while touching the scar at her temple and above her eye. The same one that serves to remind us all just how quickly things can change.
I take her hand in mine.
“Ashamed of what?”
“I was ashamed that my own stubbornness resulted in the accident. I didn’t go to the police with the threats and notes. I didn’t tell anyone. I thought I could handle it on my own. I didn’t think it mattered. But it did, and that choice hijacked my life and cost my sister hers.”
She cries for a moment but refuses to let me pull her close.
“I felt guilty, for surviving when she didn’t. It was all because of me in the first place. And I didn’t want to see the scar. I didn’t want the reminder staring back at me in the mirror. This scar not only serves as a reminder, but it separates me from London.”
Her shoulders shake.
“I wanted to be able to still see her reflection in the mirror because it’s all I have left of her. So, I grabbed the scissors and cut my bangs to try and cover it.”
“And now?” I ask.
“I’ll always feel guilty, Dash. Even though I know logically I can’t control someone else’s actions and it’s not really my fault. But part of me will always carry the guilt anyway.”
“I wish I could take those feelings away from you, or carry them for you somehow, but I know I can’t.
What I do know is London would never want you to live your life that way.
She would want you to wear your scars proudly because it’s a sign showing you did survive.
And the only way she can too, is through the story of how you did, Valkyrie,” I tell her.
I kiss the scar in question and then look her in the eye.
“That scar will always remind me of what I didn’t lose. It’ll show me that against all the unbelievable odds, you battled to find your way back to me,” I tell her.
I start to touch the fresh scars on her shoulder but hesitate. “May I?”
She nods and I touch the skin of her shoulder, feeling the raised lines where the surgeons had to repair her shoulder not once, but twice. I lean in and press a gentle kiss there as she runs her fingers through my hair, her nails grazing my scalp.
“I don’t want you to hide your scars or anything else, Lennon,” I tell her.
“What do you mean?” she asks with a furrowed brow.
“I mean, I don’t want to hide ‘us’ anymore. I know we’re on separate teams and I know they won’t like the idea of us together, but I don’t care. We shouldn’t have ever tried to hide a love as big as ours in the first place,” I tell her while hoping she’ll agree.
She moves from straddling my thighs to straddling my growing length.
“Are you trying to seduce me while I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you, Valkyrie?”
“You said you were tired of hiding, well, I’m showing you want I want,” she says as she slides down on my length.
She holds still and cups my face with her hands.
“In case you need more clarification, I want you, and I’m done keeping it from everyone else…especially you,” she says as she kisses my lips and starts to move.
My hand starts to sweat in Lennon’s as we walk up the sidewalk to her parents’ house for dinner.
“It’s going to be okay, Dash,” she says with a smile.
Before another word can be spoken, the front door opens, and Sienna greets us. Much to my surprise, she hugs not only Lennon, but me as well.
Before she lets me go, she whispers, “Thank you for not giving up on my baby girl. And thank you for loving her the way she deserves to be loved.”
When she pulls back, she swipes under her eyes attempting to hide her tears.
When I glance down the hall, I see Lincoln Tyler staring me down. I have no clue what he’s about to say to me, but I steel my spine to take it.
He remains quiet through dinner, listening to Lennon and Sienna talk. He smiles at them occasionally and then glances at me like he’s sizing me up.
After dessert, Lennon helps her mother clear the table and Lincoln takes his shot. He stands from his chair at the head of the table and moves to stand by me.
“I think you and I are long overdue for a talk,” he says.
“Yes, sir,” I tell him as he motions for me to follow him.
We walk into what must be his office and he sits behind the large desk close to the window. Then, he waves me into the chair across from him.
He props his elbows on the arms of the chair and steeples his fingers as he studies me.
“So…y’all are really coming out and announcing to the world that you’re a couple?” he asks.
“Yes, sir. We are,” I answer.
He nods and then pulls out an envelope and what looks like an old photo.
“Do you love my little girl, Dash? The same way I know you did here?” he asks as he slides a picture of us as teenagers across the desk.
I study it. I remember this night. It was the first race she beat me in.
She’s holding the gold trophy in one hand but turned to face me.
I’m smiling at her because even back then, I was drawn to her.
Loving her has always been like floating until the moment she touches me, and then she’s my gravity.
She’s always pulled me back down to earth…
back to her. I never stood a chance. I lost that race, but I felt like I won…
all because she held my hand and smiled at me.
I glance up from the picture.
“No, sir. I don’t love her the way I loved her in this picture. I love her more. More with each passing moment.”
He smiles and then slides the envelope my way.
“I was hoping you’d say yes, but your answer said everything.”
I take the envelope with my name written across the front.
“What is this?” I ask.
“It’s an offer to join Tyler Motorsports.
Just in case Full Tilt Racing gives you any grief about racing for them while also loving my daughter.
I wanted you to know that I couldn’t ask for a better man to love her than you.
And I wanted to make sure you could love her and still live out your racing dreams too.
You don’t have to use it if you don’t need to, but the offer stands if you ever do,” he says.
“I uh, I don’t know what to say. Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. Just make her happy and make sure she knows your love for her,” he says before standing and walking toward me with his hand outstretched.
I shake it and then he pulls me in for a quick hug.
“Welcome to the family, son.”