Chapter 6
“We wandered without looking for each other, but knowing we were wandering to find each other”
—Julio Cortázar
Devon
I was uneasy. Alba had called me the day before to meet again, but I didn’t know what to do.
I was growing too attached to that little girl and feared it wouldn’t be good for me.
I knew her father was still traveling, so that didn’t worry me, but being in the house made me think of him constantly.
The problem was that Alba had been so insistent that I had no choice but to accept the invitation to have dinner with them that night.
Even Aurora had spoken to me, asking me to come play princesses, and that little voice had finally convinced me.
I had bought her the Disney princesses book because when I saw it, I imagined her fascinated with all the princess images, and Alba or her father could read it to her at night before bedtime.
When I arrived at my apartment, I was exhausted.
It had been a grueling workday. I’d been on call from five in the morning until three in the afternoon and then had consultations for three more hours.
My body was desperately begging for rest, but my mind was in “on mode” and wouldn’t stop thinking, so I was going to keep my promise to play with Aurora.
I took a shower, put on jeans and a sleeveless blouse, and headed to my little friend’s house.
As I was parking in the garden, I saw her at the window waving her little hand at me, so I honked and waved back.
When I got out of the car, I saw them waiting for me by the door, just like the first time I’d been there.
This time Alba put her down, and she ran toward me.
I hugged her while she wrapped her little arms around my neck and covered my face with kisses.
My heart was bursting with such tenderness.
No one had ever shown me such affection with such innocence and selflessness.
“Hello, little one, how are you?”
“I’m Princess Aurora.”
“You’re right, how inconsiderate of me, Princess Aurora. I beg your forgiveness. How have you been, Princess Aurora?”
She smiled and pushed to be put down.
“Let’s play, Divon.”
“Hello, Alba, how are you?”
“Happy to see you, doctor. Come in, we have everything ready for dinner.”
Aurora tugged at me to enter, though what she really wanted was to go to the playroom, not to the table.
“Aurora, if you don’t sit down for dinner, Devon will leave,” Alba threatened, which was necessary because otherwise it would have been impossible to get her to sit at the table.
The little girl looked at her with a frown and then hugged my legs.
“No!” she exclaimed.
“Let’s make a deal. If you eat all the food Alba served you, I’ll give you a present I brought for you.”
“Yaaaay! Give me the present.”
“First we have to sit down for dinner, that’s the deal,” I said, taking her hand to lead her to the table.
Aurora let me guide her and then wanted me to feed her. Alba protested loudly because she wanted me to enjoy my dinner in peace, but for me it was a pleasure to share that moment with the little one. The three of us had dinner together and shared stories from our lives.
Alba told me she had three children and was a grandmother to three grandchildren.
One grandchild was from her oldest son and the other two from her daughter.
She saw them on her days off, and occasionally they came to visit her because Mr. Cavaller allowed her to receive her family whenever she wanted.
Her youngest son was single and lived in Canada, so she didn’t see him much.
I told her I was divorced and hadn’t had children, but I omitted the part about never being able to have them. I also told her I wasn’t in a relationship and didn’t go out much, but that I had two friends who often dragged me out of my house.
When we finished dinner, it was already past nine o’clock, and Aurora needed to go to bed, so I accompanied her to her bedroom and gave her the gift I had bought for her.
She jumped on the bed hugging the book, and seeing her so happy made me feel joyful and worth all the effort I had made despite my exhaustion.
“Now you should get into bed so Alba can read you one of the stories. You can save the others for the coming nights, what do you think?” I suggested.
“No, you read to me,” she said, taking my hand with a frown that reminded me of her father.
“It’s very late, little one, I have to go home, but we can see each other another day.”
“Nooo, Divon. I want you to stay.”
“Devon can’t stay, but she’ll come back another day. Now let’s read this beautiful book, and tomorrow we’ll call her and tell her what you thought of it.”
“Nooo, I want Divon to stay,” she ordered, crossing her arms with an angry expression.
Like father, like daughter, I thought, smiling.
And why was I always thinking about her father?
—Devon can’t stay because she’s tired. She takes care of many children and needs to rest to regain her strength —said Alba, looking at me and giving me a wink.
What happened next was that Aurora burst into tears while hugging me. I knew it was a tantrum, but it broke my heart.
—If you don’t mind, I can stay a little longer, plus tomorrow is my day off —I said, looking at Alba.
—How could I mind! On the contrary, but I’m worried about you because I can see in your face that you’re exhausted.
—I’m used to being awake for more than 20 hours, don’t worry because I have stamina.
—That’s unhealthy, you shouldn’t work so much.
—I love what I do, it’s the driving force of my life —I said, smiling and lifting Aurora to put her in bed, while she hugged me and stopped crying.
—Forgive me if I’m being nosy, but I care about you and feel obligated to give you some advice —she said, looking at me with what seemed like compassion—, you’re very young, Devon, and you should go out and have more fun.
I smiled and said nothing, but I laid Aurora down, tucked her in and sat beside her. She hugged me around the waist and rested her little head on me. Alba handed me the book and told me she was going to organize something in the house.
—Well, princess, let’s read this book.
—Yaaay.
The first one we read was Cinderella and as I read, I pointed out the images and commented on what we were seeing.
After 15 minutes, Aurora was sound asleep hugging me.
I caressed her little head and started thinking about what it would have been like to be a mom.
I shook my head, there was no point in thinking about that since I would never be one.
When I was about to get up, she complained and hugged me tighter.
To keep her from waking up, I decided to stay a few more minutes, but my eyes began to feel heavy as if my eyelids were made of lead and I couldn’t keep them open.
My body was limp, without the necessary energy to get up from the bed.
I’ll just close them for a few minutes, I told myself, and closed my eyes.
—Devon. Devon, wake up.
I heard a voice calling me, but it was impossible for me to open my eyes. I was in a warm, restorative, and happy state of rest.
—Devon, wake up.
At that moment I felt someone caressing my cheek, it was a gentle touch that I didn’t want to leave me.
My senses were deliciously drowsy, but little by little I opened my eyes and focused on the person in front of me.
When I managed to focus clearly, my eyes crashed into a pair of deep blue eyes that shone like two sapphires.
He was sitting in front of me and I had to blink several times because either I was dreaming or I was in big trouble.
—Mr. Cavaller? —I managed to stammer.
—You fell asleep.
Oh my God! I wished the earth would open up, swallow me, and spit me out in China! I had fallen asleep in his house. How embarrassing!
I looked down and saw Aurora with her little head resting on my stomach and her little arms around me. Very carefully, I separated her and adjusted her so she could sleep peacefully, always under her father’s watchful eye. I started to get up, but his arm prevented me.
—You don’t need to leave. If you wish, you can stay. We have several guest bedrooms —he said, looking at me in a way that confused me because I couldn’t decipher what was going through his mind.
I would be crazy to stay under the same roof as him. That man already stirred up my heart, my blood, and my entire body too much to have him near the room where I would sleep.
—No way, I’m leaving now. I apologize, I was reading her a book and must have fallen asleep. What time is it? —I asked, completely disoriented.
—One in the morning.
—What? I can’t believe I fell asleep. It’s just that I had a long workday today and…
—Thank you for what you’ve done for my daughter —he interrupted, without releasing my arm and with his gaze fixed on me.
The difference was that this was a sincere, grateful look, not arrogant like the one he usually gave me.
—You don’t have to thank me. Aurora is an incredible child and has earned my affection. I should go —I stated, and this time he didn’t prevent me from getting up.
Why hadn’t Alba called me? Wasn’t he supposed to be traveling? A thousand questions were running through my head, but I couldn’t get distracted, the first thing was to get out of there. I felt extremely embarrassed.
Before leaving, I leaned over Aurora and gave her a kiss on the forehead. When I turned around, his gaze once again left me breathless. The sparkle in his blue eyes was incredible, but I had no idea if it was from anger, fatigue, or… no, impossible, that man couldn’t be emotional.
“Devon, it's very late. Please stay,” he said, addressing me informally for the first time, and hearing my name from his lips made my heart beat even faster.
“No way, I'm leaving now. I'm used to leaving the clinic at this hour. You have no idea what my schedules are like,” I commented nervously, as I walked toward the living room to get my purse.
“You shouldn't be out alone at this hour, I'll drive you,” he stated, walking behind me.
“Mr. Cavaller, I came in my car, but thank you.”
“I'll accompany you anyway,” he affirmed, looking at me seriously.
“It's not necessary for you to accompany me. I already told you I'm used to driving at this hour. Nevertheless, I appreciate the offer.”
I grabbed my purse and started walking toward the front door. Once again, his hand closed around my arm to stop me.
“I won't let you go alone. Either you get in my car or I get in yours, and that's final,” he stated, returning to his already familiar authoritarian mode.
Excuse me? I pulled my arm from his grip and looked at him seriously. He was also looking at me with his authoritarian and arrogant expression.
“You're probably used to giving orders and having them followed without question, but I don't have to do that. I appreciate your offer, but it's not necessary. I know how to take care of myself.”
I don't know why I was so blunt, because I wasn't used to speaking like that, but this man managed to bring out the worst in me and I didn't want him anywhere near me.
He kept looking at me in that way that disturbed me so much, I had even seen him look me up and down without hiding it, and all of this made me want to get out of there as soon as possible.
“Doesn't anyone take care of you?” he asked, leaving me completely disconcerted. I had never met anyone as unpredictable as him.
“What?”
We stared at each other for long seconds, until he asked again.
“Who takes care of you? I suppose there must be some…”
“Do you think at my age I need someone to take care of me? I know how to take care of myself, Mr. Cavaller,” I stated, interrupting him.
I opened the door and headed to my car as quickly as I could. When I was starting it, I saw him get into a car that was parked behind mine.
What was he doing? Was he going to follow me?
As if challenging me, he flashed his lights and stuck his hand out of his door window to point at his garden gate as if indicating that I should hurry up.
I huffed and drove off. I couldn't believe what was happening, this man was following me.
When we stopped at traffic lights, he would look at me and smile.
I looked at him seriously but said nothing.
I was so astonished that several times I had to think whether I was heading to my apartment or the clinic.
One of the times we stopped at a traffic light, he lowered his window to talk to me and I had no choice but to listen.
“Why are you so reckless? You drive too fast, slow down because it's dangerous!”
Was he yelling at me? I didn't respond and when the light turned green, I pressed the accelerator and took off at full speed. I knew I was being reckless, but I felt the need to show him that I wasn't going to do what he said. Fortunately, there was little traffic at that hour.
When I arrived at my building, I opened the garage gate with the remote control while I saw him park at the building's entrance. I drove in without looking at him. Once I was inside the building, I heard his horn and the car starting up again. That man always did whatever he wanted!
I collapsed on my bed thinking about everything that had happened with Cavaller.
I couldn't go back to his house. Before what happened that night, I suspected that going there would cause me problems; after what I had just experienced, I was sure that I couldn't set foot in his house again and, above all, I didn't want to cross paths with him again.
If Aurora wanted to see me, it would be better if they came to my place or we met somewhere else.
That man was dangerous for my emotional stability.
Everything about him caused me to be in a constant state of excitement.
Yes, he deeply disturbed me, disturbed my reality.
I was sure there was sexual tension between us.
In my case, it had to be because it had been too long since I'd been with a man; in his case, I supposed it was because no woman could resist him and he probably wanted to conquer them all.
I needed to stay away because it seemed this man had power over me, and I wasn't going to give anyone that much power. Never again!
With that clear in my mind, I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but it was complicated when a pair of blue eyes followed you even in dreams.