Chapter 16 #3
“‘Sweet,’ I don’t explain my life to anyone. Let’s go,” he ordered, and tried to continue on his way, but again I held him back.
In a matter of seconds, I found myself lifted and carried by him.
“Put me down, William,” I demanded, but without raising my voice because I didn’t want to alert anyone to our struggle.
“No; I already told you I need to talk to you,” he insisted.
“We can talk in the living room.”
“Stop protesting because we’re already here and we won’t be leaving for a good while,” he said, lowering me from his arms and setting me on my feet in front of him.
“This isn’t right,” I stated, putting my hands on my hips to emphasize my point.
“Devon, don’t worry so much,” he said, capturing my face between his hands. “Come here.”
He released my face and pulled me into his arms. Being there was what I wanted and needed. I wanted to let myself be enveloped by him; it felt wonderfully good. Without thinking, I rested my head on his chest.
“You told me you didn’t want Aurora to see us together, and today you invite me to dinner. I thought I understood that you didn’t want us to appear as a couple, and now you’re forcing me to come to your bedroom,” I pointed out, to show him I was confused by his changes in attitude.
“Don’t you want to be here?” he asked, concerned.
“I don’t want to confuse myself,” I said, because that was truly what was happening to me; I no longer had certainty about anything.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t want...” I said, but immediately regretted it, because I couldn’t tell him I was suspecting that he meant more to me than I wanted to admit.
“What is it you don’t want?” he asked, urging me to finish the sentence.
“It doesn’t matter,” I said, and the fear of revealing what was happening to me was impossible to hide.
“It matters to me,” he insisted, showing no mercy.
“Please, William.”
“Listen to me, Devon,” he said, pulling me to the edge of the bed so I would sit beside him. “I need to talk to you because it’s clear that something is happening between us that’s stronger than what we had planned.”
Was he thinking like me? Did he feel like me? What did he mean by stronger? I didn’t need to ask because he continued elaborating his explanation.
“I mean that when we met, we both proposed a friendship with sex, but I’ve gotten to know you and I want to spend all the time possible with you. Now I want more.”
“More?” I asked, more confused than before.
“I want you to be my girlfriend, to be mine, only mine. I want to do all those things that couples do with you—go to the movies, out to dinner, sleep with you. I want everything, absolutely everything.”
I was paralyzed.
Be a couple? With what expectations? I asked myself.
“Devon?” he called, noticing I was left speechless.
“And Aurora?” was the first thing I thought to ask.
“That’s a whole issue because I’m clear that if things don’t work out between us, she could suffer from your departure. Today I was surprised when she said you were her mom; she had also said it before you arrived,” he confessed.
“And she also said it to me at my house, which is why I had a conversation with her to clarify that I wasn’t,” I explained, because I didn’t want him to think I had asked her to call me that.
“I know you wouldn’t tell her that, but it’s obvious she sees you as that maternal figure she’s always lacked.
For that reason, I also know we need to be very careful with the image we give her, but I don’t want to distance myself from you, much less lose you,” he said, and it sounded more like a plea.
I couldn’t analyze what those words meant because, without warning, his lips crashed against mine in a burning, desperate kiss.
A kiss that screamed his agonizing desire for me.
I responded. His tongue sought to make its way into my mouth, and I surrendered to that pleasure I so longed for.
I moaned as I felt his tongue invade my mouth and taste it.
He kissed me with such passion and need that he made me feel I was very important to him; that kiss conveyed so much emotion it was almost tangible.
He made me lie back on the bed and positioned himself on top of my body.
I raised my arms and embraced him tightly, tangling my fingers in his hair to caress him and deepen the kiss.
Almost without realizing it, we were already naked from the waist up and lying on his bed.
I was breathing with difficulty due to the excitement I felt; I needed everything from him, I needed him.
“My God, ‘Sweet,’ I don’t recognize myself. With you, I’m like a teenager out of control,” he whispered in my ear, and gave me a little bite on the earlobe, which made me shiver.
From there, he embarked on a trail of kisses across my face, continuing down my neck and making me tilt my head to give him more access, then continued to my breasts and devoted himself to them with tenderness and passion.
I couldn’t stop moving and gasping; once again, I was losing all control over my treacherous body that completely surrendered to him.
His lips and tongue continued down my body, giving me pleasure wherever they landed while his hands caressed every inch of my skin.
His lips vibrated against my bare skin. When he reached my waist, he sat up and unbuttoned my pants, then pulled them down my legs, grazing them slowly.
I noticed he stared at me for several seconds and then, with delicacy, removed my underwear while his hands caressed my legs, leaving a trail of fire.
I think no one had ever looked at me the way he did, not even Lino.
I watched him finish undressing and was once again amazed by his glorious body.
He was perfect and I couldn't stop devouring him with my eyes.
I saw him descend to my sex without taking his eyes off mine.
When his mouth settled there, I couldn't help but jolt and gasp.
His lips, his tongue, and his hands got lost in every corner of my body, driving me to the point of losing my sanity.
I couldn't help moving and moaning, my body no longer belonged to me, it belonged to him, to William Cavaller.
The orgasm exploded and I began to convulse, screaming his name.
“Williaaam.”
“Yes, ‘Sweet,’ it’s me, only me. Now I need to be inside you because I can’t hold back much longer,” he said, breathing rapidly.
“Do it,” I affirmed, because my trust in him was complete and at that moment I wanted to enjoy the pleasure he was giving me.
He pulled away to put on the condom and returned to my side, positioning himself between my legs.
He penetrated me with one thrust until he was completely inside my body.
I closed my eyes from the pleasure I was experiencing, and moaned loudly while also hearing his groans.
William wasn’t moving, he had remained still and was kissing my lips and moving down my neck.
I raised my legs and wrapped them around him while my arms embraced him tightly.
At that moment he began to move, entering and exiting faster and faster.
He took my hands, intertwining our fingers and guiding them above my head.
The pleasure increased in an unbearable and overwhelming way as our tense bodies shook seeking release.
And release came for both of us at the same time, spreading through our bodies that delicious pleasure achieved like waves, each more pleasurable than the last. It was extensive and intense, making us shudder and groan hoarsely.
After a few minutes, William fell completely limp on top of my body.
I felt his panting, hot breath on my neck.
We couldn’t speak or move. For long minutes we just stayed like that, embraced and trying to control our unruly bodies.
“I can’t explain what you make me feel, Devon; nothing comes close to what I feel when I’m with you,” he affirmed, causing my heart, which had begun to calm down, to start racing again.
“It’s, it’s... very intense,” I said, unable to add anything more.
“Intense and incredible.”
He withdrew and, after removing the condom, lay down. We were on our sides, facing each other.
“‘Sweet,’ we need to talk about us.”
I didn’t know what he was going to propose, but I didn’t want to talk about being in a relationship.
I couldn’t have that type of relationship with him, or with anyone.
We could never be together that way; my rational side knew it, although when I was with him, my logic had great difficulty prevailing over my feelings.
I made a great effort to focus. Sadness invaded me and I lowered my head.
“Why did you propose we become a couple?”
“Because I want to share with you everything that couples do and see where it leads us.”
See where it leads us? With me it wouldn’t lead anywhere because I couldn’t give him the family he aspired to have. My heart sank in my chest.
“What do you mean?” I asked, to be sure that he was suggesting what I thought.
“I mean a relationship that grows and that perhaps gives us hope for...”
“No, William,” I interrupted him. I couldn’t let him continue with that, so I got out of bed to get my clothes and dress quickly.
“What’s happening, ‘Sweet’? What do you mean when you say no?” he asked, coming after me and looking at me with a furrowed brow of concern. Before reaching my side, he put on his underwear, and I assumed he did so because he saw me doing the same.
“I told you that I don’t want to go through that again.
I don’t want a relationship that would later lead to thinking about marriage with everything that implies.
I don’t aspire to or want to get married again.
It seems right that you want to form a family because you and Aurora deserve it, but I can’t offer you that.
It’s better if I leave,” I said, heading toward the bathroom to dress without his look of astonishment upon me, but he caught up to me before I could enter.
“Why?”