Chapter 18 #2
“Forget you? I would forget you, if only I knew how,” he stated, leaving me completely surprised. I didn’t understand why he was saying these things to me; I didn’t want him to create false hopes.
“Don’t say that, William,” I said, looking at him nervously.
“I say it because it’s the truth. Why did you leave?” he asked, walking toward me, but I moved away and went to sit on one of the living room armchairs.
“Why wouldn't I leave? When I confessed that I couldn't have children, you didn't say anything, you just stared at me and let me walk away.
I assumed your silence meant that what we had couldn't work.
Don't misunderstand me, I'm not reproaching you because I understand that what I can offer isn't what you want, and that's understandable.
What you desire is what everyone wants, even I wanted it once, but I can't offer it to you and there's nothing I can do to change that,” I stated, looking at him nervously but with determination.
“Are you finished?” he asked, approaching and sitting beside me, but at a respectful distance.
“It depends,” I said.
“May I speak?”
“You don't need to say anything, really. I think it would have been better if you hadn't come and we'd left things as they were. I suppose you must be upset, they always get upset with me,” I said, shrugging my shoulders and overwhelmed by a great sadness.
“Upset? You think I'm upset with you? If I were, it would only be because when you left me, you tore out my heart and took it with you. But I'm not upset with you, I'm upset with myself for not having the courage to tell you how I feel about you,” he said, looking at me cautiously.
“I don't understand where you're going with this,” I said nervously, because what he had said sounded very much like a declaration of love.
“I'm in love with you,” he stated, looking at me with sincerity and with a feeling I'd never been looked at with before, leaving me completely astonished.
“I've never been in love before, which is why I didn't realize that what I felt for you was immense love.
It's beautiful and distressing to give someone that power, but I give it to you—you have the power over my happiness or my misery, because I am deeply and completely in love with you.
I don't want to lose you; without you my life is hell.
Without you I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't think.
I love you, Devon Dulcet, my sweet doctor, you're the doctor of my heart,” he said, with shining eyes, as he moved closer and caressed my cheek with tenderness.
I could barely breathe. The coldness of the unfathomable sadness I had been immersed in during those days began to disappear because in my heart, the flame of happiness was growing by leaps and bounds. William Cavaller loved me? William Cavaller loved me!
“Please, say something,” he pleaded, moving closer to me until he was just inches away.
“William, you let me go,” I reminded him.
“Because I was an imbecile. Because at that moment you seemed so determined to leave and your confession left me so surprised that I couldn't react.
Forgive me, I was a complete idiot. But this idiot loves you more than he can explain.
It doesn't matter to me that you can't have children, I love you and it's you I want to be with, nothing else matters.”
“I don't want you to give up being a father because of me,” I said, with a thread of a voice.
“I'm already a father, and besides, you're only guilty of taking possession of my heart and my daughter's, who also loves you very much,” he said, with a shy smile.
“Surely you want Aurora to have siblings and I...” I began to say, but I couldn't maintain eye contact and lowered my head.
William took my chin between his fingers and made me raise my head to look at him, but I could tell that his hands were trembling.
“I love you. You're the most extraordinary woman I've ever met in my life and I want you for myself, I want a life with you.
I've never felt connected to someone the way I feel with you.
I know you probably don't love me because I haven't given you reasons to love me, but I'll fight every day to earn your love.
And now, don't make any more excuses and tell me if I have any chance. Put me out of this torment, please.”
I looked into his eyes with emotion. I think I had never been so happy in my life. Nothing else mattered now and I was going to open my heart to him.
“I love you,” I said, as I watched his face, lined with worry, light up with a beautiful smile.
“I love you so much that I walked away from you so you could be happy having a big family.
I walked away from you because I want the best for you and Aurora, and I think I'm not it.
I love you, I've missed you with all my soul, and without you, I can't sleep or eat or think either. I love you with all my heart and soul.”
“Devon... you and Aurora are the best things that have happened in my life, you are my life. Devon...” he said, caressing my lips with his thumb before tilting his head and kissing my trembling lips.
His mouth and mine making magic.
He was kissing me with love, yes, with love.
In that kiss we poured all the immense love we felt.
We kissed with our souls, a mixture of burning passion and deep love.
One of those kisses you dream about, but rarely get to experience, a kiss that only the privileged who love fervently and are loved back with the same intensity can feel. A kiss you never forget.
“My sweet love, my sweet doctor. You can't imagine how much I've missed you. I love you and desire you madly,” he said against my lips, before claiming them again.
The kiss was pure passion and lasted until we were both breathless. William pulled away a few inches to catch his breath and looked at me with that gleam in his eyes that comes from passion and happiness.
And we let desire take control.
Without saying anything, he began to remove my clothes while leaving a trail of kisses all over my body.
“I want you so much, my love, that I don't think we'll make it to the bedroom. I'm going to take you here, I'm going to make love to you,” he said, breathlessly.
“Do it. I desire you desperately too,” I confessed, because I truly felt that way.
In seconds we were both naked, skin to skin.
I was lying on the long couch and William was on top of me, kissing me frenetically.
He held my hands above my head and gradually moved his mouth down to take possession of my breasts.
It was impossible for me to stay still, and I writhed with desire while soft moans escaped from my mouth without my being able to control them.
William was also panting and breathing with increasing difficulty.
He traced my stomach with his tongue, pausing for a few seconds at my navel before continuing his journey until he reached my sex.
His mouth was insatiable, almost desperate.
The world around me vanished; I could only feel what he was doing to me.
Pleasure coursed through my entire body like electricity, leaving me breathless, my heart beating like a runaway horse, and my body beginning to tense in anticipation of that climactic moment that was about to arrive.
William accelerated the movements of his tongue while his moans intensified, as did mine.
“Your taste is fascinating, it drives me crazy with desire,” he said, his voice husky. “You drive me crazy, crazy,” he repeated.
“William, I need you, please,” I begged, my voice broken by excitement.
“I need you too, my love.”
He positioned himself between my legs and, without taking his eyes off me, penetrated me.
We both moaned loudly. For a few seconds we looked into each other’s eyes with the glow of desire and love, because I could truly feel the love he had for me.
William began to move, pulling out and entering my body.
“God, ‘Dulce,’ what I feel with you seems unreal, it’s indescribable.”
The waves of the most absolute pleasure increased with each movement.
I matched his thrusts with the rhythm that our own bodies dictated to us.
The orgasm approached vertiginously until that discharge of pleasure arrived, sweeping away everything, shaking my body from head to toe with an intensity like never before, and bringing us to the limit.
I screamed his name while I heard him shout mine as if in agony.
We had experienced a simultaneous orgasm and the pleasure felt had been unparalleled.
After a few minutes or seconds, I don’t know, he collapsed onto my body.
I could feel the uncontrolled beating of his heart that seemed to want to leap out of his chest and his accelerated breathing, just like mine.
The pleasure we experienced gradually receded until we regained control over our bodies.
At that moment, William raised himself slightly and looked directly into my eyes, then tenderly caressed my cheek.
“What you make me feel is so intense that I feel my body and my heart are going to collapse,” he said, still caressing me.
“I feel the same way.”
“Devon, we didn’t use protection,” he said.
“I’m healthy, I don’t know if I told you, but I’ve only been with my ex-husband, and now with you, but with no one else.”
“I didn’t know that,” he said, looking at me with surprise. “I’m healthy too. The only time I did it without protection was when I conceived Aurora, and actually I used a condom, but it broke. I still get regular check-ups and I’m healthy.”
With great delicacy, he withdrew from inside me, lay down beside me and pulled me close to him. We were embracing and very close together because we were still on the couch where we didn’t have much space. I felt him tense the arm with which he was embracing me to bring me even closer to his body.
“I want to sleep with you tonight,” he said, and gave me a kiss on the head.