23. CHAPTER 23
23
IVAN
As I drive us back to the house, there is a notable change in Tyler’s mood. This one is new. I find him so fascinating, so many different expressions and emotions, he’s a puzzle I’m constantly trying to solve. I've never really been around someone like him before, that's so complex. The guys I normally deal with are either angry or, I don’t know, just, nothing. Kai and Seb are the same as Ty. It's almost a full time job watching the guys try to cater to their men's needs. I would say Aaron is the same, but he’s a different ball game, in a league of his own crazy. He fits more with us than the others. But I’m determined to learn all about Tyler and his needs.
“Something’s wrong,” I say to Ty, who’s staring out of the window, transfixed on the surroundings.
“With what?”
“With you. You’re different. I don’t know this mood you’re in.”
“Mood I’m in? I gather you’re not used to people who show their emotions?”
“No. But I need to know yours.”
“I’m fine. I just think I’m a little paranoid. When I got back to my building earlier, a guy bumped into me. Then when we walked to your car, I saw him again and he was watching me. Smiling. I don’t know, it just felt weird. Like I say, I’m being paranoid.”
“Was it Timmy?”
“No. I could only see the lower part of his face as he was wearing a hoodie.”
I grip the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles turn white and my fingers ache. First Timmy, and now this. There is no reason for anyone to follow Tyler, unless it's something to do with me or the family. I have to take several deep breaths to compose myself before turning into a full rage and driving back into the city and finding this fucker.
“I’m gonna give you a knife when we get back to the house.”
“What? No. I’m not carrying a weapon, Ivan.”
“Yes, you fucking are. Just in case I’m not around. You need to know how to protect yourself.”
“I’m not stabbing anyone.”
“Why not? Even if your life's on the line?”
“That won’t happen.”
“It's possible now that you’re with me. This is non-negotiable, Ty. Besides, the rush you get from pushing the sharp metal into flesh. Hmmm there's nothing like it.”
I turn to look at Tyler when he doesn’t respond.
“What?”
“Have you got any idea how insane you sound? Like it's a hobby to hurt people.”
“It is, and you should never judge someone for their vices.”
“Murder isn't a vice, Ivan. It's illegal. It's evil, it's immoral, do I need to go on?”
“It's only those things if the person is good. We never deal with good people.”
“Oh, that's good. I feel reassured,” he sasses, rolling his eyes. Such a cutie.
“Look at you, taking this in your stride.”
“I’m not taking anything in my stride, I’m just getting better at not showing my horror on the outside. I don't agree with what you do, Ivan. Or your family.”
“I don't care if you do. But it can't bother you that much, you still slept with me. And gave me a blow job.”
“You’re an asshole.”
I turn and smile at him.
“I did warn you, sweetheart, now there’s nowhere to go.”
He sighs and rests his head back on the headrest as I continue to drive us home. All jokes aside, I need to find out who that guy is that has Tyler worried. It may turn out as paranoia, but I’m not taking any risks with this man.
We arrive back at the house and something smells good in the kitchen as we walk inside.
“Are you hungry?” I ask Ty.
“Yeah, I could eat.”
I take his hand and pull him toward the kitchen, where we see Kai cooking, Jules hovering close behind him, and Dima and Seb at the table, eating what looks like tacos. Fuck yes.
“Any extra for us?” I say as we walk in, and I guide Tyler over to the table and sit him next to Seb. He looks a world away from comfortable, but he’ll adjust.
“Yeah, I made enough for everyone, come help yourself,” Kai says, gesturing to the plates on the countertops. I go over and make up two plates for me and Ty and walk back to the table, where I sit across from him.
“Hey, Tyler. Glad you’re here. Are you staying?” Seb asks him in between mouthfuls. Dima just watches Ty, looking for possible problems.
“He is,” I say before taking a large bite. Kai is an amazing cook, this tastes fucking delicious.
“Can Tyler not speak for himself?” Seb asks.
“I can and yes, Ivan asked me to stay,” Tyler confirms before taking a bite of his own food. From the way he’s eating, the guy was obviously hungry, as I’m not convinced he's even chewing the food.
“I need a knife for Ty. He thinks someone is following him,” I say to Dima.
“I said I might be paranoid. It could just be a coincidence.”
“There are no such things as coincidences, not in this world,” Dima says to him.
“Take one from the holding pen, we have enough,” Dima says.
“The holding pen? What's that?” Ty asks.
Seb continues to eat, avoiding the question, and Dima looks at me with a hint of a smug smile.
“It's a room in the basement. We use it for interrogations,” I say. God this taco is gooood.
“Interrogations? In the house?”
I look up and Tyler's eyes are wide, and his skin pale. Great.
“Nothing to worry about. You wouldn’t know it was there if we hadn't told you.”
“I find it better to pretend it doesn’t exist,” Kai says, and Tyer looks over at him with an almost pleading look, and a look of relief.
“You don’t go down there?” Tyler asks.
“Not my thing. Neither does Seb. The guys don't flaunt it in our faces, Tyler. Believe me when I say, just ignore it,” Kai says.
“Ignore it,” Tyler mumbles as he takes another bite of food.
“Do you wanna see it?” I ask, and Dima slams his glass of water down.
“Fucking hell, Ivan. Even I can read that the guy feels ill at the thought of it. Learn to read your partner.”
“I’m trying! It’s not easy dealing with someone so emotional,” I say, annoyed that this is turning around on me.
“Emotional? It's normal to be sickened by this, Ivan,” Tyler says, and my irritation at being challenged is starting to build.
“Tyler, it's okay. Just, try to remain calm. Ignore them, they don't know how to be human,” Seb tries to reassure Tyler, but it doesn't go over well.
“Calm? How can you be okay with all this? You and Kai? Do you not feel any guilt?”
Seb is one of the chillest guys you'll meet. But people mistake the kind and friendly exterior of Seb to be a pushover. Which he’s not. To be part of this family, and be able to be the husband of Dima, you have to have some grit about you. Seb takes no shit, and from the way he’s discarded his food, and zones in on Ty, I think he’s pissed. He turns his body fully to face Tyler and everyone waits to watch the show.
“Listen Tyler, I understand you're struggling, I really do. But don’t come here throwing your judgement around like you think you know everything that we’ve been through. Kai went through hell to be here, and so did I to some degree. Do we agree with what goes on? Of course not. But we know the deal. I know what evil goes down into that holding pen and I accept it like I accept my husband who saved me. But remember you are no better than us, you knew who we were when you took this job, you could’ve left. You knew who Ivan was before he fucked you, you could’ve left. But you didn’t. Don’t put your inability to justify your own actions onto us,” Seb says before standing and leaving the room.
“You know Tyler, you can look at this one of two ways. Kai was in a gang back in his hometown, he managed to leave, but when he went back to see his mom, the gang, his so-called friends, broke into his home and stabbed him. Left him to die in his own home,” Dima says.
Tyler flinches at that piece of information and looks over at Kai, who is cuddled up to Jules, the memory very much fresh in his mind.
“When Jules found out, some of us went with him to find the fuckers. Ivan was one of them, and they did what they thought was right, they made them pay. Was that wrong? Should Jules have let it go and let the fucked up judicial system deal with it? Would you say we killed the good guys?” Dima says.
“No…I’m…I didn’t know that happened to Kai.”
“No you didn’t, but do you think the men that stabbed him were good guys?”
“No, obviously not.”
“Seb’s ex-fiancé plotted with a scorned enemy of ours to kill Seb because he found out about her plans to take everything off him, they put a gun to his head, are they the good guys?”
“No.”
“No. And before you say it, yes we do take the role of judge and jury, and I do the same with my crews or anyone that fucks with my business or my family. This is the safest place you will ever be.”
Tyler nods and slumps his shoulders in a defeated response. I’m not sure what to do. I wonder if I should hug him, as that's what Jules does to Kai.
“Now I’m gonna check on my man, and I expect you to apologize to him, Tyler. Ivan, take the night off. You need to talk to your man if he’s gonna be around.”
Dima leaves, and the silence in the kitchen is weird, it feels very awkward between the guys.
“Kai, I’m sorry if I upset you,” Tyler says, and Kai moves from Jules’ embrace and walks over to sit at the table where Dima sat.
“It’s fine, Tyler. I’m not upset with you. It’s just the whole situation is still raw for me, you know?”
“Tim is convinced you were taken against your will,” Tyler says, and Jules pipes up.
“I think we’ve had enough of bringing up the past,” Jules says to Tyler, holding on to Kai’s shoulders.
“Stop worrying, Jules. I’m okay and he’s allowed to ask. He’s involved now. Tim has made sure of that,” Kai says, and looks over at Tyler.
“Tim wasn’t always like this. He’s been in my life a long time. My mom struggled raising me on her own, she was kicked out when my grandparents found out she was pregnant at eighteen. She did her best, but I hardly helped the situation, getting involved with the wrong crowd, trying to fit in, I guess. Her and Jules are stepsiblings, but she always blamed him for their parents abandoning her. Thinking Jules had an easier life. Anyway, Tim was her closest friend, you might even say family. I think he always wanted more, though. When my so-called ‘friends’ stabbed me and left me bleeding out, he was the one who found me, got me help. He didn’t know anything at that point about my relationship with Jules. But when he did, he flipped out, and when he realized who Jules worked for…let’s just say the Tim I knew changed. He obviously knew a lot from gossip at work about Dima and Lev, but he just wouldn’t let it go. Tried to stop Jules from seeing me. He even tried threatening them all when they came to collect me. He and my mom just wanted to keep me prisoner, not letting me make my own decisions. I left by choice, Tyler. Not force. I’ve lost my relationship with my mom. We talk now and then, but it’s not like before. She and Jules will never reconcile, but I won’t leave him. I think Tim just wants to control the situation, maybe impress my mom along the way if he got me back home. But he’s obsessed with this family. He messages me non stop. Threatening us. He’s not who I thought he was and he was warned what would happen if he didn’t leave it. He’s stubborn and revengeful. Don’t feel bad for him, Tyler.”
“I’m sorry, Kai,” Tyler says again, and Kai smiles before rising to his feet, moving over to the sink to clear up after dinner, Jules not far behind him.
I watch Tyler as he studies Kai and Jules. His eyes look distant. Thinking of everything that Kai has just said most likely. His eyes then find mine and they are shiny. I think he’s upset. Taking that as my cue, I stand and grab Tyler's hand.
“Come on, let's go to my room.”
He doesn’t fight as he tightens his hand in mine and moves with me as we glide through the house to my room.
Tyler sits down on the edge of my bed, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees as he rests his face in his hands. I sit next to him, not knowing what to do.
“I’ve fucked up with them haven't I? Seb and Kai.”
“Nah. You’ll be fine.”
“Seb was angry.”
“Yeah, but he is entitled to be. You questioned him as a person in his own home.”
“Are you always this fucking blunt?” he says as he looks up at me from his hands.
“You asked me a question, and I’m answering it truthfully. I always tell it as it is.”
No response.
“Look, you both had opinions that you are allowed to feel. Don't worry about it. Seriously, that was barely a disagreement.”
Tyler flops back onto his back on the bed and I turn to the side to watch him. He really is stunning.
“This place is so twisted, Ivan. Everyone in the normal world would be horrified with this family. But when you’re here, it takes hold of you. I mean, look at me, feeling guilty for upsetting Seb because I said murder and violence is wrong.”
“No, you judged him for not running away from it. He agreed with you on that, and he was questioning your hypocrisy.”
“I’ll certainly always be humbled around you.”
“Enough talking. Shower time.”
“We’re going to shower together?”
“Yes. We can get dirty and clean at the same time,” I say with a wink, and walk to the adjacent bathroom.
I turn on the shower and undress, dropping my clothes in a heap on the tiled floor, I know Tyler is behind me. I can sense him. His presence is becoming embedded in me like a beacon, alerting me when he’s near. I pull my hair tie out of my bun and throw it down with the clothes, running my hands through my thick messy mane. My hair is shoulder length now and needs a trim.
“You have beautiful hair,” Tyler says quietly. I turn around, naked and hard, and smile as he dreamily looks at my hair like it's something he has fantasized about.
“I never thought about long hair on a man, but it's nice.”
I raise a brow at him.
“Nice? Just nice?”
“You’re gonna make me say it, aren't you?”
“Always the truth.”
“Sexy. You look like some kind of fantasy warrior. There…happy now I’ve humiliated myself?”
“Why would telling the truth be humiliating? You really need to cut off that brain of yours, sweetheart and just go with the flow. But for now, strip,” I say as I turn around and open the glass screen to the shower and stand under the large showerhead to allow the steaming water to drench my hair and body. Fuck that feels amazing.
A few moments later I open my eyes and hear the clank of the door as Tyler walks in, looking shy. I grab his arms and pull him flush with my body under the spray of water that drenches him too, and take that bitchy, never-ending complaining mouth with a brutal kiss. More intense than our others. This is a kiss without the doubts, the barriers he puts up. He relaxes against me and grabs my hair with both hands, grinding against my dick, eliciting a loud groan that we both share. My hands travel around his waist and down to his gorgeous plump ass that I squeeze and tease. He pushes himself into my hands, asking for more without words. As the battle of tongues and teeth gets more intense, I spread his cheeks with one hand to give the finger of my other hand access to play with the outside of his pretty hole. Another moan leaves him, his lower body pushing back onto my finger. He wants it, just like I knew he would. After tonight he’ll crave my cock in his ass. He’ll need it.
I pull away from his addictive mouth and start to kiss and bite down his neck.
“You gonna let me back in here?” I ask, sucking hard on the skin below his ear.
“Yes…please, Ivan.”
“Look at you, asking so politely to have your tight little hole fucked again.”
I spin him around until his back is up against the glass shower cubicle and grab the bottle of conditioner from the shelf on the wall.
“Can I suck on it again?” he asks, licking his lips, removing the water that's dripping off him.
“You wanna suck my cock?”
“No, I mean yes, but, I want to suck your tongue again, to suck the piercing. I liked it last time.” I smile. I love this kinky side to him and it was hot as fuck having him suck on my tongue last time.
“As you wish. Open that pretty mouth,” I say as he opens his mouth wide and I stick my tongue out and dip it into his mouth where he latches on and sucks and licks the piercing like it's my dick. Fucking heaven.