Chapter 67 Gabriella
GAbrIELLA
I have always liked to play hide-and-seek. It’s my favorite game.
At first, I quite liked the policeman who came to visit me at The Manor.
I thought he was handsome and that he could be my boyfriend.
But then he started asking too many questions I did not like.
He knew things Daddy didn’t want him to know.
And if Daddy doesn’t like someone then neither do I.
So when the policeman chased Mary out of the room, I started screaming so that Ingrid the nurse would give me the sleepy pills.
Staff at The Manor always give me sleepy pills when I scream.
And if they don’t give me what I want, I bite.
Sometimes hurting people is the only way to make them listen.
Ingrid gave me the pills, I closed my eyes, and she left my room.
The sleepy pills don’t work straight away—Ingrid is an idiot—and I wanted to know what happened to Mary.
So I walked out of my room, down the staircase, and out the front door.
They only lock the doors at The Manor at night.
As though you can only play hide-and-seek during the day.
Which is very silly. I can play hide-and-seek anytime all day and all night long.
Mary often talked about her little red car.
I know all the colors. I use them when I paint.
Red can be called crimson, or scarlet, or ruby, but they are all still red.
People have called me all sorts of names too, but I am still me.
There was only one red car in the car park, so I hid beside it to wait for Mary.
When she opened the car from a distance, while still running away from the policeman, I thought it might be fun to hide in the back.
Behind the front seats. Beneath a blanket.
I’m very good at hiding. So good that Mary didn’t find me.
Then the sleepy pills started to work and I closed my eyes.
People seem to think that because I can’t speak it means I can’t hear, but there is nothing wrong with my ears.
Nothing wrong with me at all now apart from my voice being a little bit broken.
But people see what they want to see, hear what they want to hear, and think what they want to think. Mary taught me that.
Daddy promised we would live together again one day in a beautiful house by the sea.
He showed me a photo of a white house with wonky walls that was built into a cliff.
He called it Spyglass and said it would be our home, so I started painting it over and over again.
I got so good I didn’t need the photo anymore.
I knew the house by heart. When I woke up in Mary’s car, it was dark and she was gone, and I was scared at first. I didn’t know where I was.
But then I looked out of the window and saw Spyglass!
I wanted to run inside, but then I saw my first mummy standing on the doorstep with the policeman, so thought it might be better to hide a while longer, in case they were there to take me back to The Manor.
My first mummy was always at work at the police station.
My second mummy taught me to paint—which was nice—but then she said I couldn’t live with her and Daddy anymore and sent me away.
She wanted him all to herself. She’s gone now, which is good.
I thought my first mummy might be coming back to live with us, but Daddy told me she is dying.
I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Daddy said it was okay to cry, so I cried to make him happy and he said I was a good girl.
I think Mary wants to be my third mummy, but I’d rather it was just Daddy and me.
When my first mummy came to visit me at The Manor it was as though I woke up after a deep sleep and a bad dream.
Strange noises came out of my mouth when I tried to speak.
Daddy said I hadn’t spoken for a very long time, so I tried to tell him what I wanted by painting the house where he said we would live.
But he still didn’t understand. Then Mary taught me to whisper my words.
Me whispering seemed to make her and Daddy very happy, so I kept doing it.
Mary would read me scary stories and I would tell her scary stories too.
It was fun at first, but I don’t want another mummy.
Things will be much better when it is just Daddy and me.
I think I scared him in the car just now.
I didn’t mean to. I woke up again when I heard his voice.
I came out from my hiding place behind the driver’s seat, and told him that I love him to the moon and back.
He used to say that to Eden all the time.
But instead of saying he loved me too—like you are supposed to say when someone tells you they love you—he hit the brakes and the car skidded across the road.
Daddy shouted and said some very bad words.
I thought he was cross with me, which made me very sad so I started to cry.
But then Daddy said we were going to be together from now on, always and forever.
He said that it was good that I had hidden in the car because we were going on an adventure!
He said it will be like a game of hide-and-seek, but that we are going to hide somewhere nobody will ever find us.
And I was so happy.
Until he said that Mary was coming too.
Eden is gone. Mummy is dying, hopefully soon. So Mary is the only problem left. And Mary was in the car too, sitting next to him. I wanted us to live at Spyglass together, like he promised. And I wanted it to be just us. So I cried again.
Then I got out of the car and I ran.