Chapter 20
Noa
Tes:
How’s the hot girl holiday going?
Noa:
Having the best time EVER! How have I not done this until now?
Tes:
Yaaaaas!!! This is what we like to hear.
Remember everything happens for a reason and timing is key.
Anyway, where are we in terms of the three D’s of heartbreak?
Noa:
1) Why do you always have to send a billion text messages instead of just one? 2) ???? Am I supposed to know what that means?
Tes:
Denial, Distraction, and then Dicks, OBVIOUSLY! It’s much like the stages of grief but applies specifically to heartbreak.
Noa:
Obviously. Tes Anderson you really are one of a kind.
Tes:
I know but thank you for noticing.
And I’ll take your avoidance of the question as distraction.
But that’s ok because dicks are just around the corner, and we all know the best way to get over somebody…
A fter sending off a bunch of photos to Tes of her diving trip yesterday, Noa tucked her phone into the pocket of her jean shorts before focussing again on the trail they were walking.
She’d talked Alex into taking a break, as her heart felt like it was going to crawl up her throat from the heavy exertion she wasn’t used to.
Her breaths were laboured as she pushed forward up the rocky terrain.
Sweat coated her upper lip, and she was reminded of why she had made it her mission to avoid all forms of cardio for most of her life.
Her kind-of workout involved pushing herself with weight training.
Cardio was her version of hell, and she’d made that clear as she groaned and grumbled for the last twenty minutes of their trek.
Blisters burned the bottom of her feet from the trainers that she had not had the foresight to break in before their trip, and the weight of her backpack pressed heavily on her back.
The straps chafed her already-burnt shoulders.
She cursed herself for not packing light like Alex had suggested, but she wouldn’t tell him that.
She tried to focus again on the events of yesterday as a distraction and a huge, jaw-aching smile split across her face at the memory. She felt like there was nothing in the world that could top it.
Her and Alex were making their way up to the top of John-Suwan Viewpoint.
Lola and the other girls had recommended it.
They’d made the trek whilst she was diving yesterday and their photos from the top looked breathtaking.
But they’d missed the part about the slow torture they’d face to get there in their description.
As they walked, Noa took the time to reflect on her trip so far.
She felt like something had changed inside her in such a short space of time.
She was having the most incredible time and had met some amazing people.
She felt nothing but grateful for the experience, so far.
And she was coming to realise that, sometimes due to her incessant planning, maybe she was missing out on some of the best bits, some of the unexpected and messy bits that came from the grey areas in life.
Somehow, from her breakup with Lucas, something that she had never planned for and felt like the end of the world only a month ago, had led to the adventure of a lifetime.
And she couldn’t bring herself to be sad about that right now.
Despite feeling like guilt should be tearing apart her chest at this stage, it just wasn’t.
It merely felt like a quiet murmur in the back of her mind.
It was fleeting, and didn’t feel like it would break her like it had a few weeks ago.
Instead, she felt free. Lucas had been right to make the call when he did, and distance had given her that clarity.
She decided that, when she got home, she would try and take this lesson with her, to live in the now and realise that the present was where the beauty really lay.
No matter what the future brought her, whether it fit her master plan or followed societal expectations or not, she suddenly knew she would be okay.
Distracted, deep in thought, and losing her footing on the steep rocky trail, Noa stumbled backward until a firm hand caught her and grabbed her ass to steady her.
She had almost forgotten he was there. He had been so quiet.
It was like he knew she needed this time to think.
She had been so wrong about what this trip would be like with him on it, and she almost felt bad for that. Almost.
‘Easy, tiger,’ he smirked.
She looked down at where his hand still rested on her Lycra-covered ass, then back up at him.
‘I could say the same to you.’
He laughed and removed his hand, lifting it up in fake surrender.
‘Hey, I needed something to grab onto. I couldn’t exactly miss that it was there. I can’t be blamed. ’
She mocked offence and put her hands on her hips to really sell it.
‘Are you saying I have a fat ass?’ she whisper-shouted.
‘I’m saying… you have a great ass.’
Suddenly, it felt like there was no air around them, which was surprising considering they were in the outdoors.
Noa couldn’t believe he would be so brazen like that, and she didn’t know what to say in response or where to look.
So, instead, she swung herself back around, carried on walking up the trail, and threw a ‘stop looking at my ass’ in his direction.
But, adding a little bit more of a sway to her strides, she decided she might not be all that mad even if he was.
After another fifteen minutes of walking and no more near misses, Noa stopped, looking around her inquisitively.
‘The girls never said anything about it taking this long. We don’t even look anywhere near the top,’ she exclaimed, squinting to try and see through the endless green shrubbery that surrounded them.
‘No, we lost the trail about twenty minutes ago, but I figured why not just see where we end up,’ Alex shrugged.
‘What!’ Noa squawked, not even trying to hide her horror.
He looked unfazed, like this wasn’t the part in a Netflix documentary where the tourists got lost on their hike and were never seen again, presumed to have been eaten by bears.
Shit, do they have bears in Thailand? Why hadn’t she looked into that sooner?
Shit, shit, shit.
‘Noa, breathe,’ he responded.
His voice held a command, like he was trying to break through her panic .
‘We are fine. This is one of those adventures you were looking for right? I have been walking mountains far scarier than this at home for many years. Trust me, okay?’
Did she even have to question him?
Looking at his face, overgrown stubble coating his jaw, warm eyes showing no signs that she shouldn’t trust him, she knew that she could.
Her lip wobbled with uncertainty, but then she let his presence calm her like it had yesterday. And like it had many times before when they were younger.
Alex had been the one who patiently helped teach her to drive, a skill that hadn’t come easily to her and, when her brother had grown frustrated and made her feel more worked up than relaxed, Alex had stepped in.
This was the same. With him she would be okay. She would be safe.
And, maybe, this could be another example of the beauty that can be found in the messy moments in life. Sending out a silent prayer that would be the case, she strode forward, ready to step into the unknown.
O nce they got to the viewpoint, an entirely different one than originally planned, Noa’s shoulders sagged in relief.
Noa one, bears zero.
She let the fact they had made it to the top safe and sound sink in, then looked up to really take it in.
Yet again, Noa felt like all the air had left her lungs.
It was utterly breathtaking. The almost snow-white sand bar a striking contrast to the turquoise ocean rippling around it.
Vibrant green plants and shrubs blanketed the rocky mound across the water, and the people below looked small and insignificant compared to the endless beauty that surrounded them.
A humid breeze whipped at their bare shoulders, whispering in their ears and through their hair, carrying the smell of salty skin and sun cream.
Noa let it fill her lungs. She wanted to bask in the moment and take it in with every sense possible so she would never forget it.
‘Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?’ she thought out loud.
‘No,’ was his only response.
She stood in silence for a long while, soaking it all in.
‘It’s… it’s just so breathtaking,’ she sighed, and Alex agreed.
But when she looked over her shoulder at him, he was no longer looking at the view, but right at her.