Chapter 30
Noa
N oa stood on the jetty in Coron, waiting to board the boat that would take them on a four-day expedition to El Nido.
It was the part of her travels she had most looked forward to, having heard so many amazing reviews online.
She’d be island-hopping each day and camping in tents and huts each night.
It sounded like an experience so stripped back from reality, and she was so excited.
But the fluttering in her stomach as she watched people busy loading colourful wooden boats with all their gear, were not caused by her anticipation for the trip.
No. They were a result of her thoughts constantly wandering to her and Alex’s kiss days earlier. Though ‘kiss’ felt like too tame a description for what they had shared.
Her phone buzzed in her hand, and she pulled her eyes from the turquoise waters to see the family group chat.
The Fab 4:
Mum:
I need numbers for Christmas dinner. Noa are you going to be back by then?
Ryan:
Mum it’s April!
Mum:
We are all in new territory here. How am I supposed to know how long this quarter-life crisis will last?
Ryan:
It’s all so Eat Prey Love of her.
Dad:
She can’t be expected to be gone that long or she’d be asking for a loan from the bank of dad.
Noa:
You guys know I’m in this group right? I could just leave if that’s easier for you to speculate about me.
Ryan:
Don’t worry, we have our ‘favourite child’ group specifically for that .
Mum:
You named it that.
Ryan:
You didn’t deny it.
Noa:
Ry, it never ceases to amaze me how you have space for a single other thought in your brain with an ego that size.
I’ll send across my flight details. We decided to prolong the trip, so we have a couple of weeks left in the Philippines and then we are heading home. ??
Ryan:
Did everyone here witness that? She definitely just called them ‘we’ and that was definitely a sad face. I am glad to see you guys are finally getting along!
G etting along was definitely one way to put it. Noa had replayed that night in Hanoi in her mind over and over the last several days, to the point where she was sure her thoughts were obvious for everyone around her to see. She didn’t think that she had the ability to hide them at this point.
The way his calloused hands had grabbed her, his firm grip making it feel like he owned every inch of her body.
His warm, soft lips on hers, commanding she open up for him and kiss him with everything she had.
And, boy, had she. She had melted into him, met his lips with abandon.
It was exhilarating, a high she wanted to keep chasing with him.
But, in the several days since, she had felt a crash landing back to planet earth after her brother had sent her several texts to check in. She thought he’d likely sent them to Alex, too, because the guilty look he kept giving her had her questioning everything.
She wanted him. And he wanted her. That was all clear as day now.
But was it enough to get past the huge roadblock that had always stood in their way?
Was it enough to risk Alex’s friendship with Ryan?
She knew she couldn’t be the one to answer that.
She had tried to do what was right the first time, when she had considered her feelings for him a long time ago.
She had taken the decision out of Alex’s hands and made it for him.
She had tried to forget him and walk away.
But she wouldn’t do that this time. She couldn’t.
Maybe she was a stronger woman back then but, when she came home this time, she told herself she would be selfish and go after the things she wanted in life.
That’s what her entire list was about at the end of the day. And the selfish part of her wanted him.
Then, there was the other part of her that couldn’t help but consider the fact that she hadn’t long broken up with Lucas.
Only two months had gone by. She should be sad, shouldn’t she?
She should be sniffling into tissues and vowing to never go near another man again.
And yet, Alex didn’t just feel like another man.
She felt safe around him, like it had always been her and him, but they had both just been too scared to see it.
She didn’t know what that said about her relationship with Lucas, but she had always tried to believe that everything happens for a reason.
And lately, every time she thought of Lucas, she didn’t feel sad.
Just grateful for the good times that they had shared and the lessons she had learnt from both their relationship and the breakup.
So, she refused to let her brain overthink this, to talk her out of it again.
She would not let fear dictate her life anymore.
Life had given her and Alex a second chance, and she was determined not to waste it.
D eciding to put her busy thoughts to good use, Noa had been writing a lot over the past week.
She’d found it a cathartic outlet to help her make sense of things.
She used her own experiences to shape her characters and her storyline in a roundabout way, and she was enjoying the process.
Alex had been right, travelling the world really did spark artistic inspiration in her.
She just couldn’t help the words from flowing.
She kept the book he’d bought her close by at all times, because she didn’t know when an idea was going to hit and she’d have to quickly scribble it down.
She still couldn’t get over how thoughtful he had been to get it for her.
These small, meaningful gestures, like acts of service when she thought about it, were such a contradiction to the tall, dark, and broody-looking man that sat in front of her.
He was an enigma in many ways. A riddle she wanted desperately to work out.
She felt like Alex liked to watch her write, because he seemed to do so at any opportunity he got, barely taking his eyes off her.
The butterflies that knowledge set off in her stomach were equally as distracting as they were pleasurable.
He’d been making her feel all kinds of ways lately, and it was getting harder and harder not to just pounce on the man any time he was near .
And that’s what she was doing now. Writing. Or, something like that. As they sat on the open-top boat that was sailing them from Coron to El Nido, she kept finding herself trying to write anything she could to feel his eyes on her.
Staring down at her page, it was clear to see that all she’d really been doing was daydreaming about a certain handsome bartender as a list of his best physical attributes stared back at her.
- Rock hard, lickable abs
- Firm, bitable ass
- Plush, kissable lips
Eyeing the page, Noa worried that cannibalism had made it into her list of kinks and that, maybe, she really had been reading too many dark romance books. Was that all she wanted to do, explore him with her mouth? Maybe.
She felt her cheeks heat and, as if he could read her thoughts, Alex’s lips tugged up into a grin as he continued to assess her from across the small boat. Something had definitely changed. He was much more obvious about it. Lola had teased her about his ogling, but Noa revelled in it.
Keeping her eyes on him, she decided she would do the same.
He had no business being that sexy. Her pulse raced and her palms were sweaty as she squeezed her thighs together.
The sight of him elicited a full body response she wasn’t sure anyone had ever made her feel before.
not even Lucas. The thought was depressing, but also exhilarating all at the same time.
His skin had a bronze glow now, after so much time spent in the sun.
His eyes shone brightly, like pools of deep honey, as the light hit them, and his sharp jaw line was peppered in a dusting of light stubble.
She had to make a conscious effort to not let her eyes stray south to his naked torso, as she had a funny feeling she might not be able to stop herself from drooling if she did.
With the confidence that having his amber eyes raking over her gave her, Noa closed her book and pushed herself up as the boat came to a stop at their second-to-last island for the day.
Making sure to add a little extra sway to her hips and push her chest out just enough, she made her way over to him.
‘Take a picture, Fletcher, it’ll last longer,’ she teased and pouted her lips.
His gaze focussed on them like she’d planned, and she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, wishing he would replace her lips with his and do the same. Wishing he would do a lot more than that, but it would be a start. Just the thought left a needy, throbbing ache between her legs.
‘Oh, Trouble,’ he said rising to his feet and resting his lips close enough so only she could hear.
As he spoke, she felt his breath on her neck, spreading goose bumps across her skin.
‘Last longer? You have no idea what I remember when it comes to you, picture or not. Your perfect body under mine is engraved in my mind’s eye forever.’
She felt all the breath leave her lungs. When she first arrived home, she’d thought he’d forgotten her and that night, that he’d replaced thoughts of her with the many women that followed after.
But he’d kept proving otherwise, and as he looked at her dead in the eyes now, he almost knocked her off her feet when he said, ‘It’s only ever been you.’
She could swear her heart threatened to stop.
She felt hot all over, and it had nothing to do with the sun shining above them.
She wanted to ask him so much more. She wanted to wrap herself in him, and for them to get lost in each other.
But she was pulled from her momentary daydream when she realised that they were, in fact, on a boat full of people.
She tried her best to look back at him and talk through the lump in her throat.
‘Care for a swim to cool down?’