Chapter 33
Noa
W aking up, Noa’s head felt heavy, but at least the roaring pain in her gut and the non-stop vomiting she had dealt with yesterday had finally ceased. She’d heard about people getting ill when travelling on her routes, but she had come to think she had outrun it. Clearly, she’d been wrong.
With a groan that sounded more bear than human, Noa flung her legs over the side of the small bed and put her head in her hands. Her body felt like lead, and she knew the pounding in her head had to be from dehydration.
Images of last night flooded her mind—her on the cold toilet floor, vomiting for what felt like hours, strong arms wrapped around her, hands comforting her and massaging her hair.
Had she dreamt it? She imagined she’d feel a lot worse today if it hadn’t been for Alex coaxing water down her throat.
But she had never seen that side of him before, and that had her questioning whether she should be adding ‘hallucinating hot men playing nurse’ to her list of symptoms. Just when she started to rise to her feet, gently swaying as the gravity of how weak she really felt kicked in, the light that had been streaming in from her doorway was suddenly blocked. She looked up to see who it was.
Bright amber eyes met hers, and she could see concern swimming in them.
Her heart pinched at what that meant—to have Alex, the no-strings-attached bad boy, genuinely care about her and worry about her well-being.
She remembered his confession about his feelings for her last night before she had run away.
It was almost too much, and she had to swallow down the lump that was building in her throat.
‘How you feeling?’ he asked.
‘Like I’ve been hit by a herd of angry wildebeests four or five times before falling down six flights of stairs as I made my escape,’ she croaked.
Alex raised one eyebrow at her.
‘That’s awfully specific. Wildebeests, though? How many of those do you see round here?’
She let out a loud exasperated groan.
‘Wow. That bad, huh? Can’t even think of a way to curse at me for being a know-it-all?’
He said it like he was trying to use humour to make her feel better, but there were no traces of humour in his eyes as he scanned her like he was checking for any signs that she wasn’t okay .
‘I’m through the worst of it, I think. I don’t think it’s a parasite, because I would probably still have my head in the toilet now, but the thought of eating anymore boat food for a while might send me running straight back there.’
She covered her mouth with her hand, just in case she had willed it into existence. But her stomach remained settled, so she lowered her arm and walked toward him.
‘You stayed with me last night?’
She didn’t know why her voice lowered as she said that but, for whatever reason, it did.
She stopped in front of him, their toes almost touching.
After feeling his lips on hers in Hanoi and having his arms wrapped around her last night, the need to be close to him made her feel dizzy.
She didn’t know when this attraction to him had started, but it was undeniable now.
‘I needed to know you were okay.’
His voice was hushed. He reached his fingers out, the backs of them brushing against hers and sending tingles up her arms.
‘Well, I am. Thanks to you. So, thank you.’
Without even thinking about it, she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around him, or as far around him as she could reach with his massive form, and rested the side of her head on his chest. She felt the rapid beating of his heart and smelt his spicy body wash.
He was clearly fresh from the shower, which reminded her of how gross she must be.
Going to step back, she was stopped when he wrapped his strong arms around her, barricading her in.
She nestled into him, no longer caring about anything else but this moment, and wondering whether there was ever a time she felt this safe.
She couldn’t help but think that, even thousands of miles away, in his arms she felt at home.
T hey had arrived in El Nido just over an hour ago and, immediately after they got to their hostel, Alex had accepted no push-back about her staying in a single room instead of a dorm tonight.
She had tried to protest for all of a few minutes, but after the night she’d experienced, the thought of her own room, air conditioning that actually worked, and her own shower was enough to make her bite her tongue and allow him to book it for her.
She wouldn’t admit it, but she actually liked him taking care of her.
He’d also gone to the liberty of making sure she was in the room right next door to him and, when Lola had invited them both out this evening, he had been quick to decline for the both of them.
Noa chuckled. He really was taking this whole overprotective thing to the next level after seeing her sick last night and, though a short time ago that would have had her blood boiling with rage, it now had butterflies taking flight in her stomach.
Because he cared. He had shown it in so many small ways in the last few weeks—the willingness to help her tick off her ‘30 before 30’ list, buying her a writing journal to help her chase a dream of hers, constantly encouraging her with her writing, taking care of her.
There was also the fact that, wherever she was, his eyes didn’t seem to be anywhere else for too long.
And his insistence that they not rush into anything and take it slow.
She wanted to kick, scream, and protest, but it had also felt special and different to the one-night hook-ups he usually had. She knew him, so she also knew that deep down, some part of that was due to self-preservation.
But she was done taking it slow with this man .
Maybe all he needed to truly take his guard down was for her to make the first move.
The way her heart pounded in her chest when she looked at him, the way he made her feel like the most beautiful girl in any room, and the way he built her up and made her feel strong in her own skin.
She knew all of this meant he was not just a rebound guy, no matter what he thought.
And she needed to make sure he knew it, too.
O nce they had settled into their rooms, Alex demanded they go and get some food so she could fill her belly after bringing up everything in it last night.
Lola tagged along and, as always, kept the conversation going.
However, it was more of a one-way conversation, even if she didn’t seem to notice.
Noa couldn’t tell if it was last night’s sickness or the permanent butterflies that had found a home inside her that meant she couldn’t eat much.
She slowly picked at some dry noodles as Alex stared at her.
At first, it was assessing, questioning if she was okay.
But then, as if he had seen the heat in her gaze, his own had quickly changed.
Despite the thrall of tourists passing by the restaurant and Lola’s continued monologue, it felt like they were the only two people there.
He was a panty-melting kind of handsome, sitting there in his linen shirt rolled up at the sleeves, his inked arms on display.
He wore a simple gold chain around his neck that Noa wanted to use to pull him in and anchor him to her.
Somehow, dinner managed to go by without either of them throwing themselves at each other and causing a display of public indecency.
They walked back with Lola to the hostel before Lola asked Noa if she could borrow her white sundress.
The two of them disappeared into Noa’s room and left Alex to head to his.
‘You two are so banging,’ Lola squealed as the door closed.
‘Shhhhhh!’ Noa put her hand over Lola’s mouth before she could add to her embarrassment anymore. ‘We are not!’
Lola stood there with her hands on her hips, brushing Noa’s arm away from her, with a ‘don’t bullshit me’ expression on her face.
‘Not yet, anyway.’
There was another squeal, and then Lola was jumping around like this news directly affected her in some life-altering way.
‘I knew it! I just knew it! God, you are such a dark horse, Noa Drake. The others believed you when you spewed all that bullshit about never wanting him, but I just knew you were lying.’
Noa went to protest but was cut off by Lola’s hand being held in the air.
‘Listen, I am not judging. I think you were lying to yourself as well. But all I’m saying is, after watching the tension between you grow enough to almost cut off the oxygen supply in the room for the rest of us, I, for one, wholly support this. For public safety. You get it, girl.’
Noa laughed, ‘I mean I wouldn’t have been as dramatic about it but, yeah, things have definitely escalated over the last few weeks, and maybe I didn’t want to admit it because of my brother, or because I should be pining over my ex, or because his reputation scared me. But none of that even matters anymore.’
‘Reputation or not, that man has never had eyes for anyone other than you. Even when he was pretending to. And I know this because, when we first met, I even put on my best flirtations for him…’ Lola held up her hands in surrender before continuing.
‘To test the theory, of course. But he was oblivious. Too busy making googly eyes at you.’
A blush crept across Noa’s cheeks at Lola’s observation.
Completely unheeding to the reaction, Lola continued, ‘Plus, pining is overrated.’ She shrugged her shoulders excitedly. ‘I much prefer the rebound option. It’s true that the best way to get over someone is to—’
Noa sighed and cut Lola off mid-speech.
‘That’s just it, though. I don’t think any of this has anything to do with a rebound. If it did, I could get that from one of the other men here, but he’s different. And, whether it’s wrong or not, I guess I’m done fighting it.’
‘Hey, nothing that feels this right can be wrong. There is no timeline for any of this, and if you spend too long caught up on what you think you should be doing then you’ll miss all the good parts that are happening along the way, right in front of you.
Stop letting how society says you should feel or behave dictate your decisions.
And that goes for your brother, too. If he loves you, and Alex will truly make you happy, then he will get over it.
And if he goes all pistons at dawn, like that scene in Bridgerton when Anthony demands he and Simon duel, please just make sure you take a video so that I don’t miss it. A girl’s got needs.’
Lola was laughing and, though Noa pushed her shoulder, she couldn’t help but join her in her fit of giggles. ‘Ewww! Gross,’ Noa complained through her laughter.
This girl could rival Tes when it came to her grand speeches. Wiping her eyes, Noa hopped up from the bed and strutted over to the wardrobe with much more of a pep in her step now .
‘Anyway, what dress will it be?’
Lola scoffed, ‘Bitch, I appreciate the compliment, but if you think my ass was ever going to fit in any of your clothes, you should have gone to Specsavers, because that just ain’t happening.’
‘But I thought…’
‘I just wanted to hear all the spicy gossip and didn’t think you’d appreciate me demanding you spill the beans in front of Mr McHotty.’
‘That nickname’s sticking then?’
‘Like glue. I’ll write it on your wedding present.’
‘Right, that’s enough. Get out. I have better things to do,’ Noa said, pushing her friend toward the door.
Luckily, Lola didn’t protest but, winking at her from the half-open door as she left, she managed to quip back, ‘Damn right, you do.’
Noa knew that Lola was sure to become a permanent feature in her life going forward, and that she wouldn’t be able to get rid of her. But she knew in that moment, with a warmth blooming in her chest, that she would never want to.
Finding those easy female friendships was always a blessing, and one of the great joys of her life.
Because they would always be each other’s army, there to weather any war.
The ones to bolster confidence and provide a shoulder to cry on without question or expectation of more.
Whether they are the easy friendships that come and go within the space of five minutes in the girl’s toilet stalls, or the ones to last a lifetime, Noa wouldn’t trade a single one.
She wasn’t sure she would have survived in her life without the women who had built her up, who’d been a safe place to land if she needed it.
They had shown her the magic of platonic love, whether that be in endless group chats or dorm rooms, bus queues or bar stools, she knew she was part of a community that simply couldn’t be replaced.