Chapter 50
Alex
W alking into the Drake’s house, hand in hand with Noa, felt like a remarkably big step.
Alex was trying not to let his nerves show on his face and could only hope that Noa hadn’t noticed his clammy palms. At least, if she had, she’d been gracious enough not to mention it as she guided him through the entryway.
You could say that this was a crazy thought, worrying about the step of ‘meeting the family’ when less than a month ago he had found out that he was going to be a father, something that he’d never once considered was going to be a part of his future.
But now, doing it with her, it felt so obvious, like this was always meant to happen, and their journey was always supposed to lead them here.
But the three heads that turned to face them as they walked into the kitchen-diner had been as much of a family as his own mum for much of his life.
He owed so much to them. But that also meant that they knew him more than anybody, the good and the bad, all the seedy family history and childhood trauma.
They might not want him with their daughter because of that, and the thought had his skin prickling like he was coming out in hives.
They might have loved him like a son, but he knew full well that he wasn’t good enough for their daughter, but he still wasn’t sure he was ready to hear that from the people he loved.
Because, regardless, he wasn’t giving her up.
The expressions directed at him didn’t look like anger or disappointment, though.
Bethan wore the same kind and compassionate smile he’d seen a thousand times growing up.
Isaac sat looking more confused by his crossword than like he wanted to kill Alex for getting his daughter pregnant.
And Ryan’s face was an unreadable mask, which was an improvement from the last time he’d seen him.
A shoulder nudged his, and a throat cleared as Alex realised he’d been deep in his own head. Noa looked up at him expectantly. Realising he’d likely missed a whole load of greetings, he stepped forward and said the only thing that came to his head.
‘Hey,’ he croaked, his throat tight and mouth dry.
Hey? Really? That’s all you’ve got?
As if trying to make things worse, he waved his hand awkwardly in their direction. He wanted to roll his eyes at himself.
Pull it together, man .
He didn’t have chance to berate himself for much longer, though, because Bethan put down her spatula from where she was preparing tonight’s dinner and barrelled toward them, pulling both Alex and Noa into a hug.
He felt the tension in him ease slightly, but knew it wouldn’t dissipate completely until he’d come face-to-face with his best friend.
Despite Noa reassuring him that Ryan was fine after their conversation, the two of them hadn’t yet spoke since the night at the bar.
He’d decided Ryan could probably use a cooling off period in order to avoid round two.
His actions the other night were based on heightened emotion in the moment, and the only way to avoid that again was to let him come to terms with the news first.
Bethan released them from her grip before grinning widely at them both, ‘I am so glad you two finally came to your senses. Your dad and I have been biting our tongues and waiting for the day you’d finally realise you had feelings for each other since you were in high school.’
‘Mum!’ Noa whined.
‘Hey, I just said I’ve been biting my tongue for long enough. Don’t go asking me to do it any longer.’
Alex saw movement in his periphery and then Ryan was next to them, poking at his mum.
‘Speak for yourself,’ he said. ‘Some of us were very much in the dark.’
He didn’t sound angry when he said it, but Alex felt guilty all the same.
‘Oh, hush you. It’s not our fault you chose not to open your eyes, either. You’re as bad as they are. God, you young ones, it’s a wonder your generation gets anything done. ’
This kind of easy conversation felt natural, like they had stepped back in time. Like, despite it all, their dynamics didn’t have to change all that much.
‘I guess we know where you get your dramatics from,’ Alex joked, speaking to Noa, who sniggered.
‘No second helping for you tonight,’ Bethan said, wagging her finger at Alex as she walked back to continue chopping.
Because, to her, that was it. There was no anger, no disappointment, no scolding words or warnings to stay away from her daughter. No. She just carried on like she wasn’t fazed in the slightest, like this was small news. How could he have expected any different?
Maybe she had known this was inevitable all along.
As Bethan once again busied herself, Isaac just slapped Alex on the back before his deep, raspy voice travelled through the room like it always did, ‘Looks like you really are stuck with this family now, kid. If only you’d thought that one through.’
He winked and walked back to where he’d been reading the newspaper at the dining room table.
Alex turned to Ryan then.
‘Hey man…’
‘Look, I’m a dick…’ they both blurted out at the same time and then stared at each other for a minute before Ryan broke the silence.
‘I owe you an apology. I’m not going to pretend that you lying and sneaking around didn’t hurt me. But, after speaking to Noa, I will say that I understand.’
Alex’s throat felt heavy as he tried to get the next words out.
‘I wish I could apologise. But doing that would mean I was sorry that this happened and, for that, I never will be. But what I will say is, I have loved your sister in secret for the best part of fifteen years, and the second she showed any reciprocation of those feelings, I was done for. I would tell every lie, keep every secret over and over if it meant I’d have her at my side.
But I didn’t mean to betray or hurt you in the process. ’
‘I know. It just took me a minute to get there. But that is all I needed to hear. She deserves commitment. You put her above all else, including me, and that means something. Actually, it means everything,’ Ryan’s voice broke for a second before he cleared it and continued.
‘I love you both and have always wanted nothing but happiness for you both. If you find that together, then I’m not going to stand in your way, and I will be okay with it. ’
‘Thanks, man,’ Alex managed to choke out.
Ryan held out his hand to shake his, and they both pulled each other into a bear hug, pausing briefly for Ryan to drag in his sister to join.
‘Wait, don’t squash the baby,’ Alex shouted, looking panicked. Both Noa and Bethan burst out in hysterical laughter.
‘What?’ Alex asked, confused.
Stepping toward him and resting her hand on his chest, Noa said, ‘Oh, my love, if you think I need to be wrapped up in cotton wool this entire pregnancy, we have a long nine months ahead of us.’
‘And I, for one, cannot wait to see this,’ Ryan said, sporting a shit-eating grin.
Alex felt all the weight he’d been carrying fall away. He had all the people that mattered to him, and he was adding one more to the mix. Life had never been better .
The rest of the night went by without a hitch.
It was a typical Drake family dinner like Alex had been to many times before.
Bethan made a delicious home-cooked meal of roast beef stew, and they all sat around and talked about everything and nothing until it was time for the board games to come out.
Noa was competitive as usual, and she and Ryan went at it the whole game of Ludo.
Typically, because the rest of the family found it easier to let it happen, one of the two of them won.
This time it was Ryan, and Noa took on the role of the sore loser, demanding he cheated.
The whole scene felt so familiar, despite all that had changed, and Alex knew in that moment that these were his role models.
They always had been. Not his deadbeat dad.
And if he could be half the parent his mum and the Drakes had been to him, then he might just do all right.