Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
PRESTON
Preston’s phone rang right at the end of dinner out at Dani’s, and she insisted she’d get the dishes and then show Lacey what she’d been working on for her upcoming show. He took it out on Dani’s porch, because only one person besides her or spammers actually called his number.
“Will.”
His college roommate’s British accent was tinny. “Hey, how are you doing?”
That was a bigger question than it usually was, whenever Will checked in every six months or so, and one of the reasons Preston had reached out earlier that week. He tapped the mezuzah on the wide doorframe and sat on the top step, looking out at twilight falling over the wild garden, littered with Dani’s sculptures. “Complicated.”
“Interesting.”
“Where are you?”
“In transit, heading to Japan.” Will had majored in music like Preston but had gone on to make a career of it, which took him around the world. He’d call at random times while waiting for planes or stuck on a bus. Even if they played phone tag for the better part of a year, with a few texts here and there, Will never let it drop, like most of Preston’s friends from college had once they’d graduated or the rest had once he’d disappeared back home.
“Nice.”
“It is. How’s it going over there?”
“Oh, lots of excitement. Legend Watts might be playing this new festival here?”
“Huh, I had not heard that.”
“Really?” Preston scraped his shoe along the edge of the step. “The festival promoter was saying the announcement was coming.” He actually hadn’t seen Harmony for days; she’d gotten buried with some request of Travis Weaver’s and they’d only had a chance to text a few times—leaving Preston plenty of chances to mentally replay the hottest time in a library since Alexandria burned. And, of course, because his brain was a nightmare that couldn’t simply let him enjoy that, worry about it.
“Eh, people throw big names around a lot. Building hype, to get interest from whoever they end up signing. It’s all part of the process.”
“Yeah.” That did sound like Harmony.
“Or they’re still talking with management, early stages, that kind of thing. Wouldn’t hear about it yet until it was more official. You know what a nightmare handling those big name artists is.”
“Egos the size of elephants.”
“Legend Watts especially,” Will said.
“Yeah, that guy sounds like a jerk. But you can’t deny his talent.”
“That’s what they say. So—” Will’s voice turned curious. “What’s complicating things?”
I finally met someone , Preston thought, and I think I like her too much so I was going to break things off but instead I made out with her in the library and I think I’m heading for a heartbreak even an album of Legend Watts ballads won’t heal.
Will was used to Preston sometimes getting caught up in thought. “Let me guess. A woman.”
That seemed insufficient to describe Harmony somehow. “Less a woman than three schemes in a trench coat.”
“ Very interesting. That does sound complicated.”
It had seemed very, very simple the moment Harmony had touched him, in the upstairs stacks. And afterward, when she’d looked absolutely radiant at the market. He couldn’t stop staring, knowing what had put that extra glow all over her, that pink in her cheeks. The way she’d danced like she didn’t give a shit a crowd was watching. She always danced to any music—even without noticing, rocking her head along with whatever was playing at a restaurant or even someone’s ringtone.
The last rays of sunlight were slipping through the branches of the oaks and lighting up the redbuds’ petals like lanterns. The brambles were already bathed in dusk, with rabbits venturing out from their cover toward the grass. Creatures that would race away fast as soon as Preston made a move.
The better things got with Harmony, the more he felt like he was waiting for the axe to fall. Like when he’d come out here with his mom as a kid, on days she and Dani would talk and bake or can fruit together for hours. He’d be able to relax, be himself. But then it was always that much harder going home and facing his father’s expectations.
And like when he’d finally gotten away for good, gotten the scholarship and spot in the music program, and thought things might be all right, building a life for himself, seeing his parents only occasionally, while they had their clean slate, their new baby—that was when everything fell apart worse than even his worry-prone mind had really ever imagined.
He and Will talked for a bit longer, catching up and discussing some recent releases they’d both liked, before they said good night/good morning and Preston went to find Dani and Lacey. The rabbits scattered when he stood.
Dani had a show planned at the big gallery out on the coast, and her studio out behind the house was filling up with more half-finished pieces than usual, small vases shaped like roses and pinecones and large ones Lacey could probably crawl inside, tall sunbursts and writhing metal vines with ceramic leaves. Lacey, of course, was already poking at a pile of clay at one work table, and Dani was at her wheel, slurry all over her hands and something forming under them. They were so predictable, for all Dani’s eccentric artist reputation in town.
“Thought you were cleaning up, and yet.” He angled his head pointedly at the drips falling on Dani’s stained sneakers and the smudges already on Lacey’s T-shirt.
Dani smirked at her clay. “Oh, there’s time to hose Lacey off before dessert.” She could probably use it, after how she’d raced around the garden playing some pretend game while he and Dani had been cooking. There was still a puff of cottonwood seeds stuck in her hair.
Lacey looked back and forth at them both, intently. “You are not being serious right now.”
“I’m always serious.” Preston mugged a frown at his sister and walked into the spacious old barn. “I seriously want to know what you’re making.”
“A crab.” Lacey began rolling out a noodle of clay that looked like the bucatini they’d had for dinner.
“Can’t wait to see it.” He settled on a stool near Dani.
“Process above product,” Dani sang out like she always did, before asking, in a low voice that didn’t carry above the whir of her electric pottery wheel, “How’s school going these days?”
Preston fiddled with the end of a clay wire cutter on the stand of tools beside them. “Seems better. No more reports of trouble.” Lacey was being left alone at lunch. And recess. And in class. And that was the current worry rolling around his head—not bothered, thank god, but not befriended either. Her therapist insisted her social skills were coming along just fine, but Preston was sure there was more he ought to be doing—setting up playdates? Yet every time he suggested it Lacey always said she wanted to go home after school or the library. He was literally the last person to know how to help. He still didn’t quite know how he’d stumbled into things with Harmony. He still didn’t know what he was going to do about how that entire situation was like a joyride heading straight for a cliff.
Like the shape Dani was pulling from centrifugal force and the sloping movements of her hands. He knew from years of watching her work it could either come together as a new, expanded thing or suddenly flomp over.
Preston watched the walls of wobbling clay, feeling caught in the same moment of uncertain balance.
Things had been so, so bad. And then, slowly, they were all right. He’d been hanging on to all right so hard, he didn’t know what might happen if he reached for anything more.
Maybe that was why, when he met Harmony for lunch out in the gazebo that week, he greeted her, “Hey, Trouble.”
Of course she only preened, flourishing a deli box stuffed with a couple of wraps, bags of chips, lemonades, and a pile of about a thousand napkins.
It was a full week—he’d had extra meetings with Katherine to discuss the impending, still unscheduled inquiry into the library from town hall—and Harmony had suggested lunch so they could see each other, but it occurred to him this wasn’t for work, like when she’d always insisted on using her expense account for everything. “You have to let me take you out,” he told her between bites of his turkey and avocado. “Properly.”
“Properly,” she agreed in a ridiculously fancy voice. She smiled and stole one of his chips. “Sounds nice.”
“Dani’s taking Lacey this Saturday, if that’s good?” She’d caught wind over dessert of how he’d been spending time with Harmony, and Preston suspected she’d asked to have Lacey again as part of her ongoing campaign for him to get a life. At least she hadn’t entirely given up on the idea of romance, if not for herself—for all her putting her hand in, Dani had never moved on from whatever disaster in her past had put her off relationships, the barest details of which she’d only shared after too many Negronis a few Thanksgivings ago.
“Sure,” Harmony said. “You should come to the auditions that afternoon too. Give your expert opinion.”
“I’ll still have Lacey, Dani’s at the gallery until evening.” And he had to be careful here—he never wanted to make Lacey feel like she was a burden or an unwanted package being passed around.
“Bring her along.” He must have looked dubious, because Harmony laughed. “She’s one child, how disruptive could she be?”
Lacey was admittedly pretty chill most of the time, but storytime with some kids could turn into World War Three. “Have you been around children much?”
“Not at all,” she said brightly. “But I have the advantage of actually having been one, versus you, I assume, having emerged from the womb wrapped in tweed and a scowl.” He was still fighting the resulting aggrieved scowl off his face when she added, “And, like, mortgage papers.”
That was unfair, he’d inherited his mortgage. Thank god for the absurdly low property tax rate that had come with it. Another reason if, despite their efforts, things went wrong with that inquiry and he got fired, relocating would be a supreme, budget-destroying pain in the ass.
He didn’t want to think about all that right now, when he had to get back to work in just a bit. So he sniffed and told Harmony, “I like this jacket.”
“So do I.” She leaned over and smoothed his lapel, which was not in need of smoothing.
He wasn’t above finding an excuse to touch her either, slipping his fingers through her hair and tucking it behind her ear. “You sure?”
She made a low, considering hum. “Nerd chic, I must have a kink for it.”
He tugged the lock of hair. The scowl was definitely back. “About Lacey.”
“Bring the kid! It’s going to be a bunch of teenagers already. It’s not the board room, it’s the music biz. Halsey brought her baby backstage at concerts, this one tour—”
She rattled off stories of other musicians who’d done the same, reassuring him, but he was already thinking that Saturday night would be a good time for the talk he knew they needed to have before things went much further. He’d already taken things faster than he normally would, and that should be addressed. Yes. He was going to do this right and have a very adult conversation with Harmony about what he wanted out of a relationship, and her plans—namely, leaving—and all that. Properly.
When they arrived Saturday, the auditorium at the high school wasn’t exactly giving off a rock-and-roll vibe. Dozens of teens from all over the area were unloading instruments in the parking lot under the watchful eye of the giant Bobcat mascot painted on the building, warming up voices in the halls, and standing around in the aisles of the theater where Harmony had set up a long table in the open area before the low stage. She had interns running around with clipboards, handing out numbers to each group or performer.
“We’ll get started in just a bit,” Harmony said as they gathered at the front of the house. She was wearing a bright red dress today and stood out even in the half-dimmed space. “It’s a great turnout. Here—” She dug in her bag on the table. “Lacey, I brought snacks. Granola bars, candy—”
“Oh, no,” Preston warned his sister. “You don’t want that.”
Harmony froze and looked at him. “Because you shouldn’t take candy from strangers?”
“No, just you.” He made a gagging face at Lacey. “Because it’s probably black licorice.” Which he actually liked a little, but he liked seeing Harmony screw up her face in that indignant little pout more.
“How dare you. That licorice is mine .” She laid a protective hand on her purse and tossed a pack of strawberry gummies to Lacey. “No stealing my delicious, perfect candy.” She winked. “Unless it’s to hide some in your brother’s Wheaties. That’d be funny.”
“That would be a felony.” He went on, even as Lacey smiled and Harmony waved Jordan over from the front of the stage where a couple of bands were already waiting. “No. A venial sin. At least.”
“Just a joke,” Harmony clarified to Lacey. “Never listen to me.”
Jordan ran up, a few other interns trailing her. “Keyboard and drums are set, and all the amps and mics. We’re going to have the first group do a sound check, and then it should be pretty fast getting through each.”
“Great. You guys are doing spectacular. Jordan, you’re gonna emcee for us.”
“What? No.”
“Yes. Come on, you got up in front of that whole town hall meeting.”
Jordan lifted her clipboard, hiding half her face behind it. “I was running mostly on sheer spite and adrenaline.” She cast a desperate look to Preston.
He held up his palms. “I’m with you.” He could only hope Cheryl Weaver proved a consistent motivator when it was time to speak at his upcoming meeting.
“Okay,” Harmony said, pulling Jordan farther away from the other kids with an arm around her shoulder. “Here’s my secret.”
Jordan groaned. “If you’re about to tell me to picture everyone in their underwear, I promise that is going to make it like a thousand times worse.”
Lacey, digging into her strawberry gummies, let out a little snort.
Harmony shot her a stern look but with a glint in her eye. “Eat your second-rate candy and let me bestow my wisdom.” She turned again to Jordan. “Look, you just need to understand: people want you to do well. No one wants to see someone flop. Any audience is rooting for you. Even if there are haters, they don’t want that funny feeling in their stomach or under their skin of seeing someone mess up. It’s awkward, and no one wants any part of that. People want to believe in you, they want to agree. Well—” Harmony glanced at Preston. “Maybe not Mr. Jones because he’s prickly and uncomfortable all the time.” He couldn’t even glower back at her, because Jordan was taking deep breaths in through her nose and starting to nod along. “But otherwise. It works with a big audience or one on one. You remember that when you’re out there working to make the world a bit better.”
Nina, as always, was not far from Jordan and hustled up to her side now. “List is checked off, except we need the stage lights angled to the front of the stage. The spring musical tech crew left them pointing at the ceiling because those pop tarts think they’re hilarious. I couldn’t reach.”
Harmony dropped her head to one side, casting an imploring look at Preston. “Do you mind?”
“On it.” He had a feeling he’d do far more if she asked. Sins venial and mortal. Possibly high treason. How the hell was he going to talk to her tonight? It was going to be harder than speaking in front of town hall.
Some parents had come and were already sitting, waiting for acts to start, or clumped along the aisle chatting. Sarah Lessner, who’d matched him drink for drink at the Moonlight last month, came walking past where the stage lights hung along the wall, currently illuminating the top of the proscenium. “Hey, Preston, have you seen Mason?”
“I haven’t.” He reached up and adjusted the first light. “Joey playing today?” Her older son had taken lessons for a while before quitting for varsity baseball.
She nodded. “Keyboard with Bonnie’s and Libby’s kids.” She blew out a breath and scanned the theater. “Mason’s running around here somewhere too. They both have done just great with you.”
“Thanks. I’m glad Joey’s keeping it up.” He made his way along the strip of lights.
“Yeah, well, being in a band is how you get girls, apparently. Not regular showers without your mom and dad yelling at you.”
He laughed, pulling the final light down as a chord of music blared through the theater. Shit . He dug in his pocket for the case with Lacey’s ear plugs, turning back to see Harmony already popping expensive-looking headphones from her purse onto his sister’s head.
Harmony must have felt Preston’s warm gaze on her, because she glanced over her shoulder and caught him looking. She’d been bending over toward Lacey, and as his sister ran off to sit in the front row, he realized it looked like he’d been staring at Harmony’s ass. She flashed him a grin and shimmied a little, swinging her hips along with the band’s warm-up song and sending another kind of heat flushing over Preston’s face.
Fuck it. Forget the serious talk, that was the last thing he wanted to do with Harmony. He wanted her, so much, more, all of her—but he’d take whatever he could get. For so long he’d wanted someone , the idea a shadow that seemed now more like his own loneliness, while Harmony was bright as a sun and abundantly herself. She was so much, extravagant in her liveliness and kindness and, yes, that body, holy hell. His hands clenched at the memory of those curves in his grip, hungry for more, and now, as she turned back to the stage, he really was transfixed by her gorgeous ass.
Surely whatever little bit of her he was allowed would have to be enough for him.
He fixed the lights on the far side of the stage, thinking how the slivers of time they’d spent together had already filled his weeks with so much more than he’d imagined dating around his schedule might. He refused to spend any more time worrying about how it would feel when it all eventually ended.
It was almost impossible, sitting in a folding chair next to her for hours of student acts. She’d lean over to whisper about one band that was incredible, or do that grooving little chair dance of hers, or meet his eyes with a perfectly blank expression when he knew she was dying to grimace or laugh at a particularly out of tune performance. She took notes in her folio, and Nina wrangled acts, and Jordan did fantastic introducing each as parents and other teens cheered in the audience behind them.
He checked on Lacey a couple of times, who seemed content watching the show, her backpack with the books she’d packed still flopped over on the floor by her feet. But during a ten-minute break midafternoon, as a couple of the bands who had already performed gathered around Harmony and she recounted some stories of the music industry that rivaled Will’s, Preston suddenly realized Lacey had wandered on stage, over to the keyboard.
He started to get up, but Harmony grabbed his wrist. “She’s fine.”
Lacey began playing an arrangement of “Mercury” from one of his lesson books. He’d taught her, of course. Sitting side by side at the piano had been one of the only ways they’d spent their time in those first weeks as they figured out their new normal together. But she’d never wanted to join in for student concerts. She stumbled over the opening but kept going.
Harmony’s fingers slid down and squeezed his. “She’s really good.”
“Well. Her brother’s an asshole taskmaster.” Who had to swallow down a lump of pride seeing his sister brave even this semipublic performance. Kids were talking, more voices echoing from the hallway, but some of them stopped and watched Lacey, hair fluttering as she leaned over the keys. And when she finished, a bunch of them clapped.
“Watch out, Legend Watts!” Harmony yelled as she applauded.
When Lacey sat back down, Preston saw Mason join her in the front row, asking her something. Before long they were whispering together, heads close over the bag of candy, and Preston had an entirely new distraction through the end of the auditions, as he tried not to turn around too many times to convince himself Lacey was actually making a friend her own age, and make sure she was still doing okay, in Harmony’s headphones again, listening to music with Mason beside her.
By the time they got through everyone, it was almost dinnertime. Kids streamed out of the auditorium, hauling instrument cases and yelling and generally being teenagers. Sarah Lessner came up while Harmony was talking with the interns.
“Mason’s asking if Lacey can come over to play tomorrow afternoon? I know it’s last minute; it’s okay if you’re busy.”
Preston looked to Lacey, who nodded. “No, that’d be great. Text me?”
“Sounds good. Come on, Mason!”
He took Lacey out to the parking lot to find Dani, who was picking her up here.
Dani grabbed Lacey’s backpack as she climbed into the Jeep. “I was going to come inside to find you.”
“You were going to come inside to spy on someone.” Dani wasn’t satisfied with what he’d shared so far about Harmony.
Dani cackled. “Humor an old lady.”
“You’re not old!”
She hopped into the driver’s seat. “Have a nice night, babe.”
God, he hoped he would.
When he got back inside, the place had cleared out and Harmony was slinging her purse over her shoulder. “It has been a day .” She walked up the aisle, mischief playing around her mouth and effervescent in her eyes. “I feel like a mess. Do you mind if we stop by my hotel so I can freshen up before dinner?”
She was such a liar.
“Not at all.”