Chapter 8
Violet
Leaning my cheek against my hand, I stare out at the runway, watching the planes move about. I feel numb, empty.
I managed to keep it together the whole way to the airport, but as soon as I dropped the rental off, another wave of sorrow hit me. I was a sobbing mess all through security, earning me quite a few questionable looks.
“Here you go.”
Pulling my eyes away from the window, I smile up at the flight attendant as she hands me a bottle of water. The sweet woman took one look at me when I sat down at my gate and took pity on me, asking if I needed anything.
“Thank you.”
She nods, giving me a polite smile. “Of course. The plane will be boarding in half an hour.”
Sighing, I uncap the bottle and take a drink. The cool water feels good. Keeping hydrated is probably a good thing, seeing how I’ve probably already cried half my weight in tears by now.
The back of my eyes sting at the thought of them. Squeezing my eyes shut, I rub at them, trying to stop the tears from flowing.
I’m a mess. My head is killing me, and I’m so tired. But every time I close my eyes, all I see is them.
My face brushes against my sweater, the faintest hint of campfire filling my senses.
A sob slips free, and I lose it again.
“Stupid Alphas,” I cry into my hands, not able to find it in me to care that there are people all around me in this crowded airport.
“We’re not all that bad,” a playful voice sounds from beside me.
Wiping at my face, I blink up through blurry eyes to see a man sitting a few seats down. I immediately hate him. He’s too attractive for his own good, with dark hair and piercing blue eyes. He’s dressed in a leather jacket and tattoos cover his hands.
“I know you’re not, but right now, I’m wishing every stupid Alpha would just disappear off the face of the earth,” I mutter, bringing my feet up onto the seat and wrapping my arms around my knees.
“Damn, that's a little harsh, don’t you think?” he asks, still teasing.
“No,” I grumble, shooting him a look. “You’d think so too if you found out your scent matches already had a girlfriend. A pregnant girlfriend, might I add.”
“Ouch.” He nods his head. “Yeah, that's not good.”
“Nope,” I mutter. “I feel like a homewrecker,” I sigh heavily, trying not to cry again.
I’m a big ball of hormones right now. Coming down from a heat is not easy. You don’t just wake up, and everything’s back to normal.
There are still leftover hormones swimming around inside. It takes a few days to be back to your normal self.
Adding all the heartbreak I’m feeling right now, and I’m a wreck.
“You can’t help it,” he states simply. “It’s the risk we take dating people who aren't our scent matches. But it’s life. We can’t be expected to just sit around and wait until it happens. Life is short, live it and deal with things as they come.”
“That's what I was doing,” I seethe, shooting him a glare. “I was living my life just fine. Came here for a girls' getaway, only for the snow to come down so hard that my friends had to cancel. So, I ended up being alone in my cabin. Fine enough, right? Spend a few days reading, enjoying time off work, then go home and back to work, right?”
“Right?” he asks, confused and unsure what to say.
My feet slip from the seat, landing on the ground with a thud before I swing my body in his direction. “Wrong!” I hiss, and his eyes widen in surprise. Okay, maybe I look a little crazy right now, but he can’t judge me. I’m going through some shit. “Because some stupid men came over to check on me, and boom!” I clap my hands together. “Scent matches. So the big fucker snatches me up and brings me back to their cabin. Where they trigger my stupid heat. So I spend a week fucking them only to have their pregnant girlfriend show up at the door.”
I’m not sure why I’m spilling all my personal issues to a complete stranger, but I’m not myself right now, and god, it feels good to bitch about everything.
“Want me to kill them?” A pretty blonde appears out of nowhere. I blink up, watching her take a seat in the guy’s lap. He chuckles, wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face into her neck.
“Now, now, Kota. Be good. You're going to scare the Omega.”
She gives me a wink. “I could do it, you know. Make it look like an accident.”
“Kota,” the guy growls.
She’s an Alpha as well. They’re together. Huh. Not uncommon, but not something you see every day.
Teaching at Calling Wood, it’s normal to see different pairings. Life isn’t only meant for Alphas and Omegas to be together, but it’s how our biology is built.
I sit here, blinking at the scary Alpha lady. She’s hot but also terrifying. She’s gotta be joking, right? She doesn’t actually kill people.
The gate agent makes an announcement that the plane is now boarding.
“Good luck,” the female Alpha says as I stand, grabbing my bags. “Remember your worth. Scent matches or not, you deserve the world. Find a pack that will give it to you.”
“Thanks,” I murmur as I walk by, and she hits me with another wink.
Well, that was weird. But, hey, it took my mind off things for a whole few seconds.
Grabbing my boarding pass, I show it to the gate agent before passing through. Once I’m seated, I get comfortable and send off a text to my friends in the group chat, letting them know I’m on the plane and will see them when I get back.
They text back, excited to hear all about the Alphas I met. Switching my phone to airplane mode, I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths to try and calm myself down.
I didn’t have the heart to tell them what happened. Who knew mere moments after I told them everything was amazing, it would all come crashing down around me.
When I got to the airport, I sent them a quick text letting them know I was coming home but didn’t tell them anything else.
I’d rather wait until I’m surrounded by their support before I say anything. It’s not something to get into over text messages.
As soon as we’re up in the air, I fall asleep. It’s only noon, and I’m already exhausted and ready for this day to be over.
“Violet!” I hear Jenny call my name and my stomach drops. I’m excited to see my best friend, but I’m also dreading having to explain everything.
Moving around the people in front of me, I break free from the crowd and spot her bright red hair. She stands there with a big grin on her face.
She takes one look at me, and it falters. Rushing over to her, I drop my bags to the ground and throw myself into her arms for a much-needed hug.
“Oh, babe, what's wrong?” she asks concern laced in her voice as she wraps her arms around me, squeezing me tightly, just how I like it.
I instantly relax in her hold, feeling like I’m safe for the first time in hours.
“Everything is fucked up,” I sniff, refusing to shed any more tears over them.
“What happened?” she asks. “What did they do?” Her growl sends a shiver down my spine.
I’m not into women, but she’s been pretty much my adopted Alpha since we became friends. Always the one to take care of me, to make sure I was okay.
I always worried about getting too comfortable with our relationship being that way because someday, she’s going to meet an Omega and join a pack.
And that Omega isn’t going to be me. While I wouldn’t lose my best friend, I’d lose what we have because there’s no way in hell I’d expect her to keep treating me the way she does. It’s not fair to anyone involved.
While I was with the guys, even just for those few hours, I was coherent. I felt like I finally had that. That everything was going to be okay because I had my Alphas. The Alphas I’ve dreamed about for years.
“I don’t want to talk about it here,” I say, pulling back as I try to give her my best fake smile.
She sees through it.
“I’m going to kill them. Whoever they are. Whatever they did, they’re dead.”
I let out a sobbed laugh. “I love you, you know that?”
“I love you too.” She bends down and grabs my bags, refusing to let me help. “Come on. Let’s get back to campus. I’m calling a family meeting.”
“Really?” I groan.
Jenny hits me with a sharp look. “You wanna tell this story three times over?”
“No,” I grumble.
“Then yes, a family meeting.”
“Fine,” I sigh.
The drive back to Calling Wood was filled with loud music and aggressive singing. Jenny looked concerned for only a moment before she started singing the angry break-up music with me, no questions asked. No judgment.
When we get back to campus, Jenny heads for the teachers' compound.
At Calling Wood, Alphas, Betas, and Omegas are all sectioned off in their own compound for safety and comfort.
Normally, an unmated Omega has a Beta bodyguard. Their job is to protect the Omega while they’re on school grounds until he or she finds a pack of their own to take over that job.
Teachers are different. We all live in the same compound. If an Omega graduates and gets a job on campus, we can choose to either be independent or keep a Beta guard part-time.
Both Rylee and I are unmated Omegas, but we chose to go without a guard because we had Jenna and Jenny. Whenever we want to go anywhere or feel like we need an escort when leaving campus, one of the girls comes with us.
Overall, Calling Wood is a safe place. Everyone is respectful for the most part, knowing that if they don’t keep their hands to themselves, and if they don’t have consent, they will be kicked out of school. That's both students and teachers.
Jenny pulls up to my little condo. Best part is... all my besties live in the same building as me.
“The girls are still at work, so they said they would meet us at the cafe,” Jenny informs me. I roll my eyes as she uses the spare key of mine to open the door.
“I can open a door, you know.” I laugh as I step inside.
Jenny just grins before heading into my room to drop my bags off and leaves me to get changed.
Lifting my shirt up to pull it off over my head, I pause, a whimper slipping free. Their scents cling to my clothes, filling my nose.
My belly aches, and it feels like someone is wrapping their hand around my heart, squeezing tightly. I can’t breathe.
Quickly, I pull the shirt off, as well as everything else I’m dressed in, and toss it to the floor. Biting my lower lip, I debate on what to do with them.
The idea of throwing them in the wash, never to be able to smell them again, sends a spike of panic through me.
Grabbing them, I head to my closest and toss them to the floor to be dealt with later.
A heaviness presses on my chest as I move about my room, grabbing clean clothes to change into after my shower.
I know it’s because I’m away from my mates, that my heart and soul seeks them out. Their touch, their smell, their taste.
“They’re not mine,” I whimper to myself as I lose the battle, tears slipping free.
My shower is a lot longer than it should be, most of it spent just standing under the hot spray, staring at the shower wall.
I didn’t realize I zoned out until Jenny knocks at the door. “Everything okay in there?”
Jolting out of the trance, I blink the water away and answer. “Yup. Almost done.”
Once I’m dried off, I dress in sweatpants and a hoodie, tossing my hair up into a messy bun on top of my head.
“Ready,” I tell her.
“Oh, babe,” she sighs. “It’s bad, isn’t it?” Jenny asks, standing from the couch as she takes me in.
“What?” I ask, crossing my arms as I glower at her.
“Babe. You're in sweatpants and a hoodie.”
“So?” I ask, raising a brow. “It’s comfy.” I shrug.
“Yes, but you only dress like this if you're staying in for the night or you're depressed. You always make sure to leave the house in something cute with a touch of makeup and your hair nice.”
“You're telling me I don’t look nice?” My lower lip trembles.
Her eyes widen. “No. Nope, not at all. Forget I said anything. You look cute. Like a cute little snuggly Omega.”
“Really?” I ask, wiping at my eyes.
“Yes. Now, come on. Let’s get you some coffee.”
“Oh, yes,” I sigh happily. “I could use a good coffee. Or five. Do you think they would add shots of vodka to them?”
She shoots me a look and frowns before pulling out her phone. She presses a button and puts the phone to her ear.
I watch curiously, wondering what she’s doing as we get into the car.
“Are you girls done?” Jenny asks, eyes darting over to me. “Good. I don’t know what’s going on, but whatever it is, it’s bad.”
An hour later, my best friends are filled in on all the embarrassing, heartbreaking details.
“Wanna know what I think?” Rylee asks.
“Yes,” I answer.
“I think you should go back there, tell the Beta bitch to get fucked and claim your men!”
“Did you miss the part where she said the Beta was pregnant?” Jenna shoots Rylee a dry look.
“Or the fact that they didn't mention they had a girlfriend to begin with,” Jenny adds.
“So?” Rylee huffs. “They’re her scent matches. That's some powerful stuff. Maybe they freaked out and were too afraid to tell her. I’m sure the moment they knew Letty was theirs, they forgot all about Saliva.”
Rolling my lips together, I try and fail not to smile. “It’s Sylvia.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “I said what I said.” I love her. I love all of them.
“You're making her out to be some evil witch. You don’t even know the girl. She could be the sweetest person on earth. And you want Violet to just ask her to give up her boyfriends so she can have them?”
“Ahh, yes!” Rylee replies. “Because if it was me, I would. Because they would be mine. They would be made for me. It’s life. It’s how things work. When dating people who aren’t your scent matches, you take that risk. You risk them finding the person meant to be theirs and losing them.”
“Too bad you aren't into women,” Jenna snorts. “You could just add her in as a Beta and be one big happy family.”
We all just stare at her.
“What?!” she laughs. “I’m just saying.”
“You all seem to be forgetting the fact that she’s having their baby. I’d never break up a family and make that poor child go through hell. I could never take a child away from their parents.”
All of their faces fall, and my gut turns, remembering my own parents.
“Okay, with all the facts on the table, what are you going to do? You could go back to Snow Valley, tell the guys you want something more with them, and see if that’s something they would want,” Jenny suggests. My mind drifts back to all the sweet things they said to me. They told me I was what they were looking for, that they waited years for me, their Omega. That has to mean something, right?
That doesn’t dismiss the fact that they already have a woman and are starting a family.
Could I be that person? That woman who takes someone else’s man away from them? Scent matches or not, they clearly have something if they’re having a baby together.
God, I can’t believe that they didn’t mention any of this. I get it, we were caught up in the moment of finding who we were to one another, and then add in the fact that my heat hit me out of nowhere... it was a lot.
Still, this is a very big thing someone should have brought up. Nolan talked to me that night before my heat set in. He could have pulled me to the side and told me. He wasn’t affected by hormones and the scent bond to have his mind clouded by reality.
“Letty, you okay?” Jenna asks, placing a hand on my shoulder.
“Huh, what? Sorry.” I shake my head, giving her a forced smile. “What were you saying?”
“Trying to help you figure out what you're going to do.” She laughs.
“Right,” I sigh, leaning over the table in the coffee house we’re sitting at and scrub my face with my hands. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can tell you what I feel like doing. I feel like curling up into a ball in my nest and crying. But I know I can’t do that because I’m an adult; I have a job to do and a life to live. One I love and had long before meeting those men. I refuse to let this ruin me.”
“That’s my girl,” Rylee says.
“I thought you were team fuck-that-bitch-and-get-my-men?” Jenny asks.
“I’m team Violet. And I just want her to be happy.” Rylee sticks her tongue out at Jenny before looking at me with a smile. “We love you, Letty. And we’re here for you no matter what.”
“Thanks,” I sigh, leaning my head against her shoulder.
“Have you eaten today?” Jenny suddenly asks, narrowing her eyes at me.
“No, Mom,” I tease. “I haven’t. Not really in the mood to eat when my nerves are so shot I feel like puking.”
Jenny lets out a low growl of frustration before getting up from her seat and going over to the counter.
“You know she’s gonna feed you, right?” Jenna comments with amusement. “You too.” She looks at Rylee.
Glancing up, I see Rylee’s cheeks turn the slightest bit pinker as she chews her lip. “It’s because she’s an Alpha. It’s in her DNA to take care of us.”
I share a look with Jenna. Huh. This is new. As far as I know, Jenny isn’t into women, but Rylee is bi. Maybe she just finds our Alpha best friend attractive.
I mean, she is. On top of the red hair, which looks stunning, she’s covered in tattoos, making her look like an inked-up version of Jessica Rabbit.
Rylee is beautiful, with rich brown hair and green eyes.
Jenna’s hairstyle is always changing, a new color every few months. Right now, she’s got long, blue, curly hair, but next week, she will probably go pink or green. You never know with her, but she’s lucky because no matter the color, she rocks every one of them.
“Here.” Jenny comes back, placing a BLT croissant sandwich in front of me with a fruity drink, knowing I can’t drink coffee with anything but sweets.
“Thank you.” I laugh softly before grabbing the sandwich and forcing myself to take a bite despite not being very hungry. I know if I don’t eat something, I’m going to regret it later when the hunger pains set in, and I really feel like crap.
“And you.” Jenny places a salad down on the table. Rylee looks down at it with a frown before looking back up at Jenny with a questionable look. “You're looking a little pale, and you’ve been mindlessly picking at the napkin.” Jenny nods, and we look down to see the mess of ripped paper.
“Shit, are you okay?” I ask Rylee. She has type 1 diabetes. She’s really careful about managing it, but now that I look at her, she does look pale.
Rylee blinks a few times. “I think so. I didn’t really think about it.”
“Eat,” Jenny insists, taking her seat again. “Then when you’re both done, we’re going to work out some of that rage, baby Letty.”
“Really, how?” I ask. “You gonna bring me back to Snow Valley to beat up the Alphas who hurt me?” I ask, trying to sound playful but only hurt myself more in the process.
I’m really trying to hold it together. I guess freaking out this morning helped a little. Still doesn’t take away the ache in my chest. It’s like I’m missing a part of myself, an empty space in my heart.
“No. But I have the next best thing.” She laughs.
Jenna’s eyes light up. “Rage room?”
“Rage room.” Jenny nods.
I look at Rylee, and we both grin. “We’re in.”
Not going to lie, the rage room was both a good and bad idea. At first, I channeled my anger into it, shouting out my rage. But then it turned into crying and full-on sobs as I had a bit of a mental breakdown.
I’m a hot mess, and I don’t know how long I’m going to feel like this. I hate it. I wish I never went on that trip. If I just stayed home, my life would be as it was before.
Single, a good job, the best friends a girl could ask for, and I’d be happy. And now all I can feel is sadness.
Jenny makes sure I get inside safely when we get back home, and I lock the doors behind me.
As I make my way through the kitchen that’s attached to the living room and down the hall to my nest, I take off my clothing one piece at a time until I’m only in my panties.
Pausing in the doorway to my nest, I look towards my room, debating if I want to go into my closet and grab the clothes that smell like them .
Biting my lip, I force myself into my nest, grabbing the soft pajama set waiting for me, neatly folded next to the mattress on the floor.
Pulling on the flush material, I climb into my nest and snuggle into the heaps of blankets.
The remote I need lies on one of the pillows. Grabbing it, I turn on the fairy lights and soft music.
Knowing I’m not going to get any sleep tonight without a bit of help, I slide my hand under my pillow and pull out a sleeping pill from the bottle I keep there. I don’t use these much, not unless I’ve had a hard day at work and my mind is too wired to fall asleep.
Technically, I should have started back at work today, but I’m sure one extra day off isn’t going to be a big deal.
Now I have to figure out how I’m going to wake up tomorrow morning and go to work without my mind being consumed by them—of the way it felt to be around them, their smells, the feeling of their hands on my body, how it felt to have them inside me.
How do I go about my life knowing I have scent matches out there and a Beta who could have easily won my heart? How do I forget about the fact that they already have someone and a baby on the way?
Hurt and jealousy, that's what I feel right now. But as soon as I take the pill and close my eyes, all of it goes away. That is until I wake up and reality sets back in.