Chapter 16 #3
She adored his body with her own, twining around him as supple as a vine, hardly able to tell his touch from her own.
His hands and mouth were everywhere, as were hers.
Their joining had the sweetness of the right key in a fine lock, and it opened the gates to a heaven beyond scandal, beyond duty, beyond pain . . .
But then, inevitably, Chastity was dropped back into bleak reality, and the knowledge that this was one moment in a life that would be without him. She flung an arm over her eyes and fought a silent battle against tears.
His right hand continued to cherish her. “Chastity.”
She had to move her arm and meet his eyes—his darkly serious eyes.
“I need to know,” he said. “You were not a virgin the other night. Who was it? Where? How?”
“How many?” she asked bitterly.
His hand soothed her. “No, Chastity. This isn’t an accusation. I just need to know. I need to know everything about you.”
“Am I allowed no secrets?”
His expression softened. “We’ve had this conversation before too, haven’t we? I don’t want us to have secrets. I’ll tell you all my lovers, if you’ll tell me yours.”
Chastity fought a rear-guard action against his insistence. “I’m surprised you can remember all yours.”
He kissed her. “Don’t leap to conclusions. I’ve never made love to a woman lightly, and I don’t use camp followers. Anyway, I suspect your story is important if we are to unravel this mystery. Tell me what happened to you.”
Chastity didn’t want to, quite desperately. It would make him even angrier with her father, and she had to wonder what his reaction would be to discovering Chloe had been a virgin. In all seriousness, he’d promised to beat her.
He frowned at her silence. “Don’t you trust me? I give you my word, nothing you can tell me will make me love you less. If you were taken by a regiment, I wouldn’t hold you in less honor. Trust me, Chastity. Please.”
“It’s an unfair weapon, that,” she muttered, but she told him—about Henry Vernham’s proposal, the pressure put on her to marry the man, the bed incident, the beatings, and the forced breaking of her hymen.
Her voice faltered at the growing fury in his face.
“He will die,” he said. “Vernham too.”
“No!” She grabbed at him. “Leave it, Cyn. Nothing can mend it.”
“I will find a way to mend it, and avenge it.” But then he leashed his fury and gently ruffled her dampened hair. “But for you, Chastity, not for myself. I love you and my love is greater for knowing what you’ve endured.”
At this tenderness, tears finally escaped her.
He held her close. “Don’t cry, love, please. It’s over. You’ll never have to be afraid, or alone, again. I promise you that, and I always keep my word.”
She wished she could believe him, but she had learned her cruel lessons well. She pushed away from him. “How?” she demanded. “You’re a wonderful man, but you are just one man. You can’t change the world, and my father will crush you.”
Humor flickered in his eyes and spread to a grin. “My dear, have you forgotten I’m a Malloren?”
She stared at him. He leaped off the bed and pulled her to her feet. “Dress, wench,” he said, and landed a light but stinging slap on her behind. When she spun to glare at him, he said, “That’s for lying about being a virgin. And,” he added tenderly, “to show that I always keep my word.”
He began to pull on his own clothes and so, in a daze, she followed his example. She slipped into the grubby pink chemise, the gaudy petticoat, and then put the blue dress over all. Without her asking, he came to help her with the back fastenings. Sweet, casual intimacy.
Chastity went to the small mirror and put on her wig.
The dress was plainer than any she’d worn as Lady Chastity Ware, but it was decent, and in its simple way, not unbecoming.
Her wig made of her hair, her own wavy, honey-brown curls, seemed to wipe away the past months. She smiled wryly. As if anything could.
Cyn moved behind her and put his hands at her waist, stroking her sides. “No whalebone,” he said approvingly.
“I don’t have stays or I’d wear them.”
“Shall I promise to strip you if I ever find you in any?”
She turned. The incorrigible teaser had returned. “Idiot. How could I wear a fashionable gown without stays or stomacher?”
“Ah,” he said triumphantly. “So you are coming around to the idea of fashionable life again.”
“No. It’s impossible!”
“Nothing is impossible.”
Chastity gave up the argument. He’d realize soon enough.
Let them once come up with anyone from Society, or let Rothgar get wind of this attachment, and it would be crystal-clear that Chastity Ware would never be accepted in Society again.
“We must go,” she said. “We’ve let too much time slip by as it is. ”
He pulled out his watch. “By my reckoning, twenty minutes.”
Chastity stared at him. “So little?”
“How long do you think these things take?” he teased. “Of course we’ll have many nights of long, languorous loving, but think of all the merry twenty minutes ahead of us. Or even less.” She saw the change in his expression and her nerves fired a warning.
He flicked open his watch again, then pulled her over to the bed. He pushed her back. Before she had time to react, he undid his breeches, lifted her skirts, and entered her.
Her body leaped with shock and pleasure. “Cyn!”
“Delicious sin,” he said, eyes alight with mischief. He worked slowly in her, his thumbs rubbing her nipples. Then one hand moved low between their bodies to circle. Chastity gasped and closed her eyes as the fever took her. Dimly, she heard her own cries, and his gasp.
Then he set her on her unsteady feet again and flipped open his watch. “Four minutes. You see, the opportunities are endless.”
She put a hand on his arm to steady herself. “You’re mad.”
“Mad for you, O, cream-pot of my life.” He draped her riding cloak around her shoulders. “En avant.”
Chastity was on her way downstairs before she had properly collected her wits.
He commanded their horses and paid the reckoning. Chastity tried to ignore the curious stares of the inn servants, a great many of whom seemed to find an excuse to pass through the hall.
She saw a few more guineas disappear into the innkeeper’s pocket.
“For your cooperation,” said Cyn, adding pleasantly, “Remember that I look coldly on those who displease me.” He turned to offer Chastity his hand, then turned back.
“By the way, my name is Malloren.” It was delivered with an air worthy of Rothgar himself, and Chastity saw the innkeeper’s eyes widen.
As they walked out she asked, “Does the name Malloren engender fear the length and breadth of the country?”
“I doubt it, but here it does.”
“Why?”
“We’re within ten miles of Rothgar Abbey.” He looked at the horse and standard saddle. “Are you sure you can manage?”
It was a time for honesty and she had nothing left to hide. “I can ride, but I’m not sure how far.” She used the mounting block to ease into the saddle, then arranged her skirts.
“You don’t have far to go. I’m taking you to Rothgar.”
“What? We don’t have time for detours, Cyn, and why go to Rothgar? You’ve been avoiding him for days.”
“I must confess,” he said as he mounted, “I hope he’s not there. I meant Rothgar Abbey. You’ll be safe there. I don’t need you to get the license, and you’ll slow me down.”
Put like that, how could she object? All the same, she shivered at the thought of being plunged into his family, not just as the Notorious Chastity Ware, but now, as Cyn’s mistress. It would surely be as obvious as if she wore a brand.
Her anxiety was increased when she realized that Cyn too was unhappy about the plan. As they walked the horses down the village street, tension positively radiated from him. “You don’t have to take me to your home. You could leave me here.”
“No. You’ll be safe at Rothgar.” He had that air of a man who has made up his mind. Chastity sighed and concentrated on steering through a flock of geese.
When they had clear road again, she remarked, “If you are willing to take me to Rothgar, you could have taken Verity there.”
“And probably should have.”
“Why didn’t you?”
He flashed her a guarded look. She saw a muscle in his jaw twitch. “Because it would have spoiled my fun, damn it!”
Chastity bit her lip to keep from smiling. The admission had cost him a great deal. “Why spoil the fun now?” she said lightly. “Leave me here.”
He stopped his horse and took her hand. “No, Chastity. The time for foolishness is over.”
“I’ve come to like foolishness.” That teasing tone didn’t lighten his attitude at all. “Please, Cyn,” she said seriously. “I don’t think I can bear any more reality just now.”
“What do you mean?”
Was the man stupid? “I’m Chastity Ware, and your whore. I can’t go to your family.”
He pulled her head around to face him. “You are Chastity Ware, and my future wife. If my family doesn’t accept you with open arms, I’ll cut myself off from them forever.”
“Cyn, no!”
“Ride,” he snapped, and slapped her mount’s rump to get it on its way. Chastity muttered a few choice opinions of men, but he ignored her.
She found she could ride at this steady pace. The bulk of her skirts and a time of healing had erased most of the pain. Nothing could erase her dread of what was to come, however. She searched for ways to prevent this new disaster—that she cause Cyn to break with his family.
All too soon, he turned toward a gate in a hedge and opened it. Chastity followed him through with foreboding, though it led only into a field.
“Home ground,” he said, confirming her fears. “But there’s a few miles yet to go. How are you?”
“I’m fine. But Cyn,” she said before he could speed up again, “couldn’t you leave me in a cottage, or such?”
“No,” he said abruptly, then rode off at a canter.
Chastity held her horse in and waited. He reined in and wheeled back, mouth set, tight as a bow. “If necessary, I’ll truss you up and carry you, Chastity. That will be a pretty picture.”
In this mood, he’d do it too.
“Cyn, I’ll come, but only on one condition.”
“What?”
“That you promise not to blame your family for what happens.”
“Why are you so sure they’ll reject you? By the devil, we’re none of us of unspotted purity—except possibly my sister.”
“I’m sure your sister is virtuous. If she’s at home, she’ll have to turn her back on me. To do otherwise would be to sink herself as low.”
“Devil take it, will you stop talking like that!”
“It’s the truth, and you can’t change it!”
“I can do what I damn well please! If I present you to my family as a virtuous lady, they had better treat you as such.”
“Virtuous! I’m your mistress!”
He closed his eyes briefly. “I should never have touched you, should I? I shouldn’t have used you as I did this morning, even in fun. I’ve eroded your self-respect.”
“Cyn, no!”
He looked down at his hands on the reins, his mouth bitter. “Before that night in Rood House, no matter what the world said, you knew you were pure. That gave you the strength I admired from the first. I’ve taken it from you.”
“Are you saying I’m weak now?” She made it a challenge, hoping to jerk him out of his bitterness, but she knew in a way his words were true.
He met her eyes. “Weaker.”
“Thank you,” she said flatly.
“It’s the truth. I’ve taken your honor.”
“You didn’t take anything. I gave it, freely and with joy.”
“But I should have waited until we were wed.”
“That would be to wait forever.”
“Not at all,” he said calmly. “I intend to bring back a license for us as well as Verity.”
“You can’t,” Chastity pointed out, not without relish. “I’m under age, and Father will never, ever consent.”
His horse shifted under a sudden movement. “Plague take it, I’d forgotten that. We’ll find a way.” He shrugged. “If not, we’ll wait until you’re of age. When will that be?”
“A year next April.”
“A wait,” he remarked, “but not forever. You’ll spend the time with my family.”
“Oh, Cyn!” she protested. “Now, I’m not just to be presented to them, I’m to make my home with them?”
“Yes.” He touched her hand. “Chastity, I know your experiences make it hard, but I’d like you to trust me, just this once.”
“I trust you, but . . .”
“My family will not reject you. I am sure of it.”
“Not even your sister?”
“Not even Elf. She’ll be startled, and suspect you’re not good enough for me. But she’d suspect that of any woman in the land.”
“And Rothgar?”
“The same.”
Chastity didn’t believe a word of it. “Then why are you geared for battle?”
His eyes widened in surprise, but then he laughed. “I told you a secret once—that all soldiers are afraid before battle. I’m not wound up for a fight, love, I’m just afraid.”
“Of what?”
He shrugged uneasily. “Perhaps afraid isn’t quite the right word . . . It’s a natural disinclination to back down. I once told Rothgar to his face that I’d never accept anything from him, that I’d make my way in life on my own merits. Now I’m going to have to back down.”
It was said simply, but she knew from the way he had always been on edge about his brother that this wasn’t easy for him. That it was a great sign of love. “To ask him to receive me?” she asked gently.
“No,” he said in surprise. “I take that for granted. But the world of Society is not my world. If we’re to disentangle your situation, we’ll need his help.”
“What? Cyn, even Rothgar can’t whiten my sepulcher.”
A familiar grin lit his face. “But he’s a Malloren. Like me, he loves nothing so much as a challenge. Come on.”
Still she held back. “You didn’t promise. If your family won’t accept me, you must not blame them.”
He shook his head. “Very well, I promise, but it won’t be necessary. Trust me.”